by Rhavensfyre
Rohanna closed her eyes. They burned like fire from staring too hard at a blank wall in the dark. She knew that when she said good morning to the mirror in a few hours, they would look as bloodshot and puffy as they felt. Tomorrow night, if it’s bad again, I’ll go to the barn.
Rohanna wasn’t the only one staring at a blank wall and thinking about serious things in the dark.
Shyann was awake, listening to Rohanna pretending to sleep. She knew Rohanna was still wide awake, unable or unwilling to go back to sleep and risk another terrifying nightmare. Since coming to the school, Shyann had painfully watched Rohanna suffer from terrors that visited her almost nightly. Once in a while, Rohanna would get up in the middle of the night and sneak out of the room, only to return rumpled and cold just before Shy’s alarm went off.
There was no doubt in her mind. The unrelieved nightmares were taking their toll on Rohanna. She had always been slim, but now her clothes were starting to hang off her small frame like a scarecrow in a cornfield.
Perhaps no one else had noticed how pale and withdrawn she was starting to look, but Shyann did. Closing her eyes, Shyann made a painful decision. Maeve had sent her to keep Rohanna company and to keep her safe. That she could do without much effort, but night terrors? Those were outside the realm of her experience. She had no idea how to protect Rohanna from nightmares. Nightmares didn’t feel pain or fear and they didn’t bleed, but then she had another thought. In a way she had already done as Maeve had bidden her. She had brought Galileo with her.
If I go, I won’t be leaving her alone. Galileo will protect her…and this time, he has the body and strength to match the heart and soul. Perseus had been a brave and loyal pony, an old soul in his own right…and he loved Rohanna with all his heart. As Galileo, he will do no less.
Turning on her back, Shyann threw her arm over her eyes. Tomorrow she would call Maeve and see what she recommended. She had sworn to serve, but her presence here seemed to be doing more harm than good. Perhaps if she was gone, Rohanna would feel free to roam the halls at night again, and find what solace she could in the barn with the horses. If not solace, then at least some uninterrupted sleep, she thought.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Four long years. Now, in a couple of days, I’ll be home again.
Rohanna glanced at the stack of luggage sitting next to her bed. The neat pile was a lot smaller than she expected, considering how much of her life it contained. A few things remained on the dresser. The dark gown and cap for graduation, a few changes of clothes. That was it.
Rohanna’s mind drifted into that time consuming state where you weren’t quite asleep but weren’t fully awake either.
“What the hell?” Rohanna jumped and almost fell off the bed when someone opened her door. She hadn’t even heard the latch click, and they sure as hell hadn’t knocked. That, she would have registered.
“Shy! I wasn’t expecting you until tomorrow at the earliest,” Ro practically squealed. Her cousin lounged against the doorframe with the same insolent grin plastered on her face she remembered. Ro pulled Shyann the rest of the way into the room and gave her a big hug before holding her at arm’s length. “Damn, Shy, you haven’t changed a bit since the last time I saw you.”
“I missed you too, Ro.” Shyann returned the favor, giving Ro a quick once over that made her blush. “I can’t say the same about you. You definitely grew up.”
“You’re horrible, you know that?” Rohanna laughed, playfully punching her cousin in the arm. “But honestly. You don’t look a day older than…what? The day we graduated from the Academy.”
“Hey, it’s not my fault the family genes are so awesome, now, is it?” Shyann waggled pale eyebrows at her then plopped down onto the mattress and leaned back on her elbows. “Speaking of graduations, tell me all about the last four years. I am sure you’ve been plenty busy.”
Ro blushed again, knowing exactly what her cousin meant. Rohanna was twenty-two years old now and had four years of college between her and the last time she saw her cousin. She could only imagine what Shyann had been up to, and wasn’t sure she wanted any details.
Despite what the mirror showed her, Rohanna didn’t consider herself particularly attractive. She envied others their dark hair and golden skin, which didn’t painfully burn each summer. Rohanna’s Irish heritage made her prone to freckles and sunburns unless she slathered on huge amounts of suntan lotion, which meant that despite her many hours out in the sun, her skin refused to deepen to anything you could even remotely call a tan.
“Not really, Shyann. Sorry to disappoint you.”
“Oh, man. Don’t tell me you became one of those girls who never went out. You know, the ones who cried if they didn’t get an A in every class.” Shyann groaned and grasped at her stomach as if the idea was physically painful.
“No, not really. I went on a few dates, but it really didn’t seem worth it. After seeing some of the other girls cry themselves silly over one guy after another, it just seemed stupid.”
“Guys? Or gals?” Shyann sat up from where she had flung herself down on the old mattress. “Or should I say women…now that you’re a college graduate?”
Rohanna rolled her eyes. “That again?”
“Well, you never seemed interested in any of the boys back at the boarding school, so?” Shyann left the question open.
Rohanna shook her head. Shyann was going to be disappointed because Rohanna had no intention of answering that question. She had seen what relationships did to people. Her father had been miserable because of his need to be with someone. Why would she ever risk that?
“So, what?” Rohanna asked, narrowing her eyes at her cousin before giving in and laughing at their old, but familiar argument. Shyann had the right of it. She never led any of her dalliances on. There wasn’t any preconceived notions of love or a relationship to follow; it was all about having fun and new experiences not promises and expectations.
“So. If the boys didn’t interest you, something else had to.” Shyann leered at her, trying to get her to tell all her deepest darkest secrets.
“Yeah, my textbooks,” Rohanna drawled, abandoning her serious act when Shyann lifted one shrewd eyebrow at her. Shyann made her feel seventeen again, or perhaps seven. It was hard to tell somedays. It wasn’t that her cousin was immature, per say, it was more that she refused to grow up. Ro giggled and tossed herself down on the bed next to her cousin. “I really did miss you, Shy. I wish you could have come to college with me. Who knows? Maybe with your influence I might have had more fun.”
“You’re probably right, Ro. I bet college would have been a lot more fun for me. Everyone looks so deliciously grown up here.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” Rohanna admitted. For all their teasing that was the most honest answer she’d ever give Shyann. There were plenty of handsome men…and women, for that matter, at the university, and not a single one ever moved her past admiring their looks.
Ro’s silence sobered Shyann’s mood. She cocked her head, staring at Ro so hard she shifted uncomfortably beneath the intense observation. “You know, somehow I don’t think you’re kidding.”
“I’m not.” Rohanna had been so glad to see her cousin that she hadn’t bothered asking why she was there. Rohanna had been disappointed when Shy told her she was needed back on the farm and wouldn’t be following Rohanna to the University. Rohanna’s only consolation had been Galileo. He was hers to keep, but it was time to give him up. Graduating college meant going home. Never again would she keep an animal at the MacLeod farm, not while Belinda remained in charge. Galileo would go home, but not her home…he would return to Maeve’s place, where he’d be safe. Rohanna’s thoughts put a damper on their comfortable banter. “You’re here to take Galileo.”
“To be sure. But, Ro, you’re the one who asked that we take him back.”
“I know.” Ro felt small, miserable in a way she didn’t think Shyann would understand. “Somehow…and this sounds terrible, it just didn’t seem rea
l until you showed up. A part of me wanted to be gone before you came to take him, even though I knew you were coming, isn’t that horrible?”
“Meh.” Shyann brushed off the comment with a wave of her hand. “You’re going to be home now. You’ll see us often enough.”
“I’m not so sure about that. I’ll visit at often as I can, but there’s so much to do, and you know Belinda will give me a fit whenever I want to come over.”
“If you want to, we can take him home to your farm?” Shyann worried her lip with her teeth before asking.
“No! I don’t want anything happening to him. I won’t be home for a few more days.” Rohanna paced across the small room. She caught herself chewing her nails and forced her hands to her sides.
She looked around the small room. Despite it being her home for the last four years, she didn’t hold a single ounce of nostalgia for the cookie-cutter dorm room. The University had been such an improvement from the boarding school. No pseudo-military uniforms, dreary rules and regulations, or bullshit politics.
The four years had passed quickly, earning her a degree in business with a minor in equine studies. Everything she needed to run a horse farm efficiently, except she didn’t have a farm to run, did she? Not yet. She was going home, but Belinda was still in charge for another three years. It was frustrating as hell, but her father’s will tied her hands and she had to abide by his wishes.
“Ro?”
The quiet voice interrupted her pacing. “Geez, I’m sorry, Shyann. I guess I got lost in my head.”
“It’s okay. Say, you’re done with all your finals aren’t you?” Shyann asked, her words moving fast as they always did when she got excited.
“Yes. I’m just waiting for final grades.” Rohanna stopped and waited. When her cousin got this excited it usually meant she had had an epiphany that was either completely brilliant or was leading the two of them into complete disaster. Ro couldn’t sense which one it was this time, but had a feeling it was both.
“So why hang out here? You know you passed everything.” Shyann gave her a sly look.
“What about graduation?”
“What about it?” Shyann shrugged. “Is crossing the stage that important to you?”
“No, not really. I mean, if you all were going to be here for it, maybe. But otherwise, why bother?”
“Good question. Is there any reason you have to stay here?” Shyann asked.
“Hmmm. Belinda has a driver coming out to pick me up after graduation. I guess he could pick up my things even if I’m not here. What do you have in mind?”
“I’m thinking of a little belated hooky, that’s what.” Shyann grinned. “It’s been a while since you’ve been at the old homestead and you won’t have to say goodbye to Galileo just yet.”
Rohanna started pacing again, her mind going a mile a minute.
“If I just show up at home, she can’t say anything because it will already be a done-deal.” Rohanna was shocked at her own words. She was actually contemplating this. A nervous thrill passed through her at the thought of defying her stepmother. But it isn’t really defying if she doesn’t know and didn’t say I couldn’t, Rohanna thought. She stopped pacing and grinned back at Shyann.
“Let’s do it. I’ll get what I need for a couple of days and then we’ll load up Galileo. It’s time to blow this popsicle stand.”
***
When they turned off the main road and headed deeper into the countryside, Rohanna turned and beamed at Shyann.
It always felt like coming home whenever she visited her grandmother. As they rounded the last curve in the crush and run driveway, they passed through a thick grove of oak trees invaded by the occasional pine and then across a large rolling meadow.
It had been ages since she had visited her grandmother’s house. The house and property sat on the northern edge of the MacLeod farm. It had been the original MacLeod homestead, but when Ro’s dad got married to her mom, Ro’s grandmother had divided the property and gifted the newlyweds with the majority of the acreage as a wedding gift, along with the great house.
Rohanna secretly found the old log cabin more to her taste. It was simple and beautiful and held so much character with its hand-chiseled logs. Dark with age, the ancient beams contrasted with the bright white chinked in mortar. The river that wound through most of the property passed nearby, then widened into a small lake thanks to a stacked stone wall a past ancestor had built to dam up the swift moving water. There was even a small waterwheel at the dam, attached to an antique grist mill. With no obvious signs of modern conveniences, the whole effect was like stepping back in time, or out of time. Rohanna loved it.
Once they were at the cabin, it didn’t take long to unload the complacent gelding from the horse trailer. “I’ll miss you boy,” Ro murmured quietly, rubbing Galileo’s muzzle. “You behave for Shyann now, you hear?” Shyann took the lead line from Rohanna and walked Galileo towards the barn.
“I still don’t know why we can’t just swing around and drop him and you off at the farm,” Shyann muttered as she opened the gate.
The gate squealed and protested as she pushed it open, sending a couple of the younger, more skittish horses running. They stopped and turned towards the offending noise, snorting loudly and tossing their heads in a belated show of bravery. Normally, Rohanna would have found it amusing, but she was to upset about leaving Galileo to appreciate the colts’ comedic antics.
“Because, if Belinda knows he’s special to me, he’ll disappear somehow,” Rohanna explained, sighing in frustration. She already felt horrible about it, and the woeful look Galileo was giving her wasn’t helping at all. “I wish there was a way I could sneak him onto the farm without her seeing him.”
“Well, he’s here at least. You can come anytime you want to see him.” Shyann squeezed Rohanna’s shoulder sympathetically. For once Shy didn’t bring up Rohanna’s problems with Belinda. It was odd that she didn’t since she was usually the type to suggest a direct plan of attack when challenged. The compassionate expression on Shyann’s face was more disturbing than reassuring. It meant that Shyann agreed with her, which also meant she believed that Belinda was capable of doing exactly what Rohanna said she would do.
The thundering noise of horses running towards them broke the mood as the two women refocused on the herd. There was little risk of any of the better trained horses running them over, but an overenthusiastic colt or two was another thing. Shyann pulled off Galileo’s halter and gave him a quick pat on the shoulder.
“Off you go, my friend. It looks like you were missed.” Galileo bounded off, racing towards two bay horses running towards him from the edge of the pasture. They met and spun around, whinnying and tossing their heads at each other in greeting.
Ro squinted her eyes at the trio. “Is that Calypso?” she asked.
“Yes, it seems Galileo missed his sister.”
“Who’s the other horse?”
“Ah, that’s his mother. Your dad dropped her off here years ago. I think he got her from the racetrack. She’s a good mare, and she crossed really well with your grandmother’s stallion, don’t you think?”
Galileo and family circled around and came back to the large round hay bale sitting in its holder near them. Rohanna laughed. It never failed; you could have an entire pasture of good grass, and a horse will sit and eat the hay bale. Rohanna ran a practiced eye over the mare, noting her confirmation and markings. She was older and Ro could tell that she was pregnant, making her look ungainly, but still…she looked awfully familiar.
“Um, Shy? When did my dad drop this mare off?”
“About nine years ago.”
The two girls jumped and turned around. Ro’s grandmother, Maeve, stood right behind them. Maeve still stood straight and tall, her slim frame defying time and gravity to either shrink her presence or bow her back. She held a carved walking stick that looked more like a decoration than a necessity. Her pale hair was loosely tied back, the long tresses free from her
usual braid. It looked like a cascade of snow flowing across her back almost down to her knees. Rohanna fingered her own hair and wondered if it would turn as white and elegant as her grandmother’s when she got older.
“Is this…?” Rohanna swallowed against the sudden surge of emotion tightening her throat. She didn’t realize that happiness and grief could simultaneously occupy the same space in her heart, but they did in that moment.
“Yes, it is. Your father told me all about this mare, and what you did that day. He couldn’t bear to see you upset and he agreed with you, wholeheartedly. She wasn’t meant to race. He bought the mare and brought her here, thinking to train her for you. She was supposed to come with the saddle on your next birthday.”
Maeve’s explanation left out a lot, but it didn’t take much to figure out how the elegant mare ended up becoming a broodmare instead of showing up on Ro’s 14th birthday.
“But, come in now, lass. You’ve been driving all day, and we at least have you for the night. There is food and a warm fire tonight, and of course, me.” Maeve pulled Rohanna in for a hug, gathering her in whipcord strong arms that belied her age. The smell of something good cooking mixed with the scent of burning wood met them on the way towards the cabin.
“I won’t argue, not with dinner waiting for me,” Rohanna said, raising her nose to sniff the air. She was all too happy to stay, she just wished it could be longer than just a night or two.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
“What the..?” Rohanna woke up with that odd disoriented feeling you get from sleeping in a strange bed, when it takes a few moments to remember where you are. She felt dizzy, as if her internal compass needed to reset her physical location in the universe. The bed she was sleeping in faced north rather than south, which just felt innately wrong after so many years of sleeping in the opposite direction.
It was almost a full moon, and the cold blue light shining through the window seemed doubly bright so near the lake, illuminating everything inside the room enough to see shapes and forms instead of just shadows. She glanced at the clock. It was three in the morning.