by Emma Knox
“How long was I out for?” I asked, my voice breaking at the end for a yawn as I rubbed at my eyes.
“A while,” John said.
“When do you think we’ll arrive? Are we almost there?”
I looked around outside, even though there was no way for me to know. There were a few trees around, but I could tell we were passing through a small town. I wasn’t sure if it was Fairbanks, though.
“Not yet,” John said, answering question. “This is a small town on the way, but it isn’t where I live.”
“The, how far away are we?”
I looked at John, and he was frowning.
“We’re in Canada right now, but we weren’t making as good time as I thought. We’re still a few hours away. There’s another smaller town after this one that we’ll have to cross to get there, and that town is about two hours from here.”
I frowned unhappily, leaning back against the seat. Once again, I couldn’t help thinking that a flight would have made things easier. But John had driven down separately from his party, who planned to stay another day before heading back by plane, so someone would have had to get his car back, anyway. Besides, my exhaustion could not replace the benefits from this extremely long ride.
“Sorry,” I murmured, looking down. “It’s because I used up so much time this morning, right? And I distracted you while you were driving.”
I had known we had a long way to go, but I delayed us, and by quite a lot. We woke up fairly early in the morning, and by the time we went to meet the pack members for my farewell breakfast, it hadn't even been eight yet. Breakfast took nearly an hour, and I took another hour to pack my stuff, even though I’d had it all set aside and ready to go into the suitcase, anyway.
A lot of that time was just spent trying to say goodbye to everyone, shifters I liked and those I didn’t, even others that I wasn’t very close with, because I was saying goodbye to everything familiar. Then, I delayed a bit more as my family got more stuff packed for me, since we wouldn’t be going by plane anyway and I could just take the luggage. Mostly, I knew it was so they could keep most of the stuff and I would have to ask John as my mate and husband to provide for me.
In the end, we left nearly four hours after the time I woke up.
“It’s not your fault,” John said, his voice sounding almost gentle. “I knew this was your first time being on a long drive so I shouldn’t have expected you to last a single trip, either, it took me a whole day when I drove down. And you’ve eaten a lot, so it’s only natural that your body wants to rest to digest it all.”
My face warmed. “Uh, that might just be because I tend to sleep a lot usually. Because I don’t do much, I usually go to bed around eight or nine, and wake up about twelve hours later.”
There was silence on the other side of the car for a while, and I could feel my face warm up even more.
“I know you probably think that’s lazy of me,” I said quickly, wringing my hands together in my lap. “But it’s actually not, okay? I spend most of the day looking after crying children, excited children, irritated children, and it takes a lot of energy out of a person, okay?”
After another short silence, John let out a chuckle.
I peeked at him, because that was the first time I’d heard him laugh since I met him—well, yesterday—and the sound wasn’t half bad. It did wonders for his image, too, lighting up his eyes, his whole face, and making him look a lot less stern. I immediately decided I liked the look on him, then turned away.
“It’s fine. I don’t hang much around pups, but I guess it’s a pretty demanding job. I’m used to going to sleep at eleven p.m. and waking up around five or six in the morning, so I get a lot less sleep than you do, but I can stand to lose a bit of it when I need to. But I think it would be best if we cut the trip short for now.”
I turned back to look at him. “You mean, we’re going to stop?”
He hummed, glancing over at me. “I didn’t realize how tired you were until you suddenly fell asleep. I was worried you would move and knock your head or something, so it’s not like I’m concentrating much on driving, anyway because I’m worried about you. We just happened to be driving through a town, so I figured we could stay the night here. There should be a hotel around here somewhere. Well, it’s more like a small inn than a hotel, but they’ll have a room with a bed and you’ll get to sleep soon.”
John was looking out the window at the passing buildings and signs, probably looking for that inn. I didn’t look away from him, though, watching his profile, feeling a bit surprised.
He…was worried about me?
It was the first time he’d outright said that he cared for me, though not exactly in those words. After worrying for weeks that I would be stuck in a dead end marriage where all I needed to do was pop out kids and raise them, hearing him say that made my heart flip a little. I had let down my guard long ago, but right then, I could feel my feelings toward him soften.
No!
I whirled my head around so I was looking out my window, feeling my heart slowly pick up its pace in my chest. Just what was I doing? Just because John was now being nice to me, didn’t meant what I’d thought was no longer true. I didn’t think John was as bad of a person as I’d originally made him out to be in my head, but I was still determined to dislike him. He wasn’t looking for an Omega to look after. Considering it had been me picked for him and not another Omega in the pack, then he was probably just looking for a baby maker, and I was conveniently in the closest pack they’d gone looking.
John must have found what he was looking for, because the car slowed down, and when I looked ahead, it was to see us pulling into a stop at the small inn he’d mentioned. It wasn’t that small, but with only two stories, it wasn’t really big, either.
Once the car came to a stop, I undid my seatbelt and opened the door, releasing another yawn. I hadn't been doing any of the driving, but I was tired and homesick, so I could only be relieved that we’d actually stopped. Only when I stepped out of the car, my feet stumbled as soon as my feet touched the ground, and only my hold on the car kept me upright. John got out of the car and circled around to my side to see what the problem was.
“My legs feel like jelly,” I grumbled. “I’m afraid to let go of the car.”
John chuckled again, seeming amused. “It’s no wonder. You’ve probably never spent this long in a car and we didn’t even stop to stretch our legs out on the way. The SUV isn’t cramped, but after all those hours of no stops, even for a shifter, it’s impossible to be completely okay.”
“I don’t need you to help me walk, though,” I said in frustration.
I hadn't even thought about it at all. I was smaller than John, and had slightly shorter legs, so the size of the SUV was actually more comfortable for me than it was for him. I’d gotten so comfortable talking with John through the ride that I didn’t even feel anything was wrong. My legs right then, though, felt like they would fall out from under me if I tried to take any steps. The bottoms of my feet, stepping on the ground after so long, felt a tingling sensation that I didn’t quite like.
“Don’t worry, you won’t be needing it. Your body just needs to adjust for a bit, but you can't stay standing there. You’ll adjust better if you walk, stretch out your muscles. Besides, it’s pretty cold out here.”
As he said so, a breeze fluttered around me, making me shiver. I was in a t-shirt and long sleeved sweater, but the air seemed to have been growing cooler the further we moved from home. I’d been in the car before, and I had my shifter constitution, so I couldn’t tell when the window was closed. But with that kind of chill, only a fur coat would keep me warm, and I knew I couldn’t shift into wolf form anywhere out here. It would be pretty awkward if I got sighted, and news spread about wolves in the area, because as most people knew, wolves travelled in packs.
So, I closed the door and tried moving around. I stumbled once more, and John, standing close beside me, reached out to hold me, then stopped shor
t. I managed to keep myself on my feet, and we walked inside the inn. John had been right, walking seemed to bring the feeling back into my legs, but I was wincing from the achiness I felt.
I followed behind John as we walked into the inn, and I waited, fidgeting behind him as he checked us in, paid for our room and got the key back. Then, after getting directions from the lady at the reception, he led the way to our room.
“Are we bringing any of our luggage in?” I asked.
“There’s not much need,” John said with a shrug. “We’re only here to sleep, after all. We can leave as soon as we get up in the morning, make it all the way back, and if you want a shower or something, you can take one when we get there.”
I pursed my lips, feeling a bit unsatisfied, but I let it go.
We went inside the room, and both of us got some time to use the bathroom. There was only one bed, and because I went first, I lay on the bed while John was busy in the bathroom. But, I didn’t feel sleepy at all. John came back out nearly twenty minutes later, and I hadn't fallen asleep yet. I felt the mattress dip as he sat himself at the edge of it, and my eyes opened.
“Can't fall asleep?” he asked knowingly.
I frowned. “I’m tired, but I don’t think I can fall asleep like this. Lying down should help my legs faster, right?”
He nodded. “It would. But maybe the reason you’re not feeling so tired, is because you slept in the car. You were out for over an hour before I woke you up.”
“So, do I just lie here and wait or…” My frowned deepened.
Now that I’d gotten back my stance on how to act around John, it being just the two of us felt awkward. The room was small, so besides the single bed, there wasn’t even anything to sit on. Which meant, we would have to share the bed, and just lying there while trying to fall asleep felt like it would be awkward beyond words, so just no way.
“Would you like a drink?” John asked after a moment. “When we were coming in, I saw a bar attached to the inn. We could go there, get a couple drinks. It should be good enough to get you relaxed so you can sleep.”
I sighed and sat up, slipping off the side of the bed. “Sure, why not?”
I didn’t tell him, though, that the champagne last night was my introduction to alcohol, and I hadn't had a lot of that to begin with. Shifters were supposed to have a higher tolerance for alcohol than most humans, so I figured a few sips of beer wouldn’t be a bad thing.
John and I went to the bar he’d seen. It was late at night, but the place seemed to be pretty crowded, with dark lighting and TVs set up in some corners of the room. John found us a table, then had me sit and wait while he went to get drinks for us. I had my hands pressed to my thighs with my head ducked down as I waited for him.
The place was a little noisy, with some sport playing on the TV, and the people in the bar making quite a bit of noise. I could catch snippets of what they were saying here and there, no matter how much I tried to ignore it.
John was back not long after, and I looked up in relief. He set a drink in front of me, while settling two in front of himself and opening one. I followed what he did and twisted the cap of the beer bottle. I brought the bottle to my lips for a sip, and that was all I managed as I wrinkled my nose and set the bottle back down. It tasted terrible, and I wondered what people even found good about the stuff. Curiosity got the better of me, though, and I still took another sip, and another, until half the bottle was gone. John was already opening his second bottle, looking around in a bored manner.
When we finished our bottles, John got up to go get more for us, and I looked around at the rest of the room.
“Hey!”
I startled at the loud call, my head swiveling around automatically to find out where it came from. My gaze fell on a man that sat not too far away from me, at a table with several other guys and some women. He was looking right at me, and that made me startle again.
“Yes, you, the one with the pretty face. I just wanted to know, are you a dude, or a chick?”
The sound in the room didn’t stop, but a few other people turned to see what the commotion was, and I could feel more eyes start to fall on me.
“You’re right, Brian,” someone from a different table. “Actually, I was wondering that too, ever since I saw the kid come in with the other guy. What do you fellas think?”
More and more voices chimed in, and there were even a few snorts and laughs, their words getting more and more insulting. I just sat there, looking away from them, instead staring at the table top like I was trying to light it on fire with my gaze.
They all appeared to be regulars, seeing as they weren’t all together yet seemed to know each other’s names and talked so familiarly with each other. They joined in on taunting and picking on me, probably because John had left for a bit, and all I could do was try to ignore them, no matter how impossible a task it was.
I was used to this sort of treatment, especially when I was around humans. No shifter had ever treated me with disrespect, because in a way, what I was explained away my looks for them. Because I was a male lactating Omega, there were a lot of similarities between me and the female Alphas of our pack. But humans were a whole other matter.
There was no way to tell if it had anything to do with how I was special as a shifter Omega, but I was more on the androgynous side in terms of appearance and mannerisms. It was easier when I was younger, and it didn’t matter as much when people kept mistaking me for a girl. But as I grew, and especially when I hit puberty, people started finding it strange, especially other kids my age. So when I started having less and less interactions with people outside of the pack, I hadn't exactly been sad about it. Actually, the last time I was subjected to any humans was before I turned fifteen, and I was given a new task within the pack that pretty much kept me busy all the time.
John came back less than a minute later, but the taunting didn’t stop. He frowned at the sound of laughing, realizing quite a few people in the bar were focusing on our table.
“What’s the matter?” he asked, looking around.
I just shrugged and grabbed a bottle of beer. “It’s nothing, just ignored them.”
Still, even though I said that, my fingers were trembling as I twisted the cap off and took a drink. John could clearly tell something was wrong, and he must have heard what the crowd was talking about because his expression suddenly went dark, but he didn’t do a thing about it. So, the both of us tried to ignore it as much as possible. Hopefully, they would get tired, or I would, and I could go back to the room to sleep.
After a while of them not stopping, though, it really began to upset me. As much as I tried, I couldn’t not let their words get to me, and the trembling in my body increased instead of going down.
I couldn’t help it, though. I thought back to when I was a child of about seven or eight years old, a time where I thought children started rapidly losing more and more of their innocence as it was tainted by grownups. At that age, children were just growing an understanding of the world, and quite a lot of them picked up things from careless adults, and used them to be cruel.
Kids were also starting to mature then, the difference between boys and girls growing ever wider, and yet there I was, the kid that was a boy that still looked a lot like a girl. Because of that, I’d gotten bullied a lot during that period, and it had really bothered me.
When I was ten and presented as an Omega, and even worse, a special Omega, my newly awakened shifter hormones meant everything affected me even more sharply. The treatment from other kids made me withdrawn, and the people in my family and my pack used it as an excuse to pull me away from public schooling, so that I had private, informal schooling at home. It never mattered that I wouldn’t go on to high school and college with some of the other kids in the pack, because of what I was, I was special, so none of that was necessary. I had been young, and I really hated school by that point, so I never thought twice about it. It wasn’t until years later that I realized what I misse
d out on, but it was far too late to look back.
My eyes blurred as they filled with the building tears. I blinked them back, refusing to let them fall and give these bastards more of a laugh. I felt John stand up, and I looked over at him. He was glaring at the group of people that were taunting me, his eyes going around the room, and their laughing gradually lowered. The sudden silence on this side had more people paying attention to the commotion.
“What were you guys saying just now?” John asked, his low voice sounding dangerous.
It sent a shiver down my spine, and as I looked around, it must have been the same for quite a few people. He had his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and looking closely, they were slightly trembling.
“Weren’t all of you having fun just now, talking bullshit? Huh? Where did all that laughter suddenly go? You got something to say, fucking say it to my face, right now!”
My eyes widened as his voice rose, and I figured right then that John could be scary if he wanted to. He sounded really angry and looked like he was ready for a fight. Of course, none of the people in the room would be able to take him on and win, even if several of them went at him at once. Not just because he was a shifter, but he’d already told me that he’d practiced mixed martial arts. Unless that was all a lie, he would definitely be good at looking after himself.
I thought that would be the end of it, but there were two men that were braver than the rest, and even under John’s glare, they didn’t back down, getting up.
“We weren’t talking to you,” one of them said.
“Yeah,” the other one added, tilting his chin in my direction. “We were talking about your little girlfriend over there.”
“Well,” John said through gritted teeth. “He happens to be with me, and anything that concerns him, concerns me. So watch yourselves.”
The first one laughed. “What? Are you scared we offended your little girlfriend?”
I winced when he repeated that other guy’s words. I was not a girl, even though I had characteristics that made me more similar to female Omegas than male, it didn’t mean anything. I was born a male, and I had the body of a male. Besides, I also had characteristics female Omegas didn’t necessarily have, either, or I wouldn’t have been considered to be so special.