by Dannika Dark
“I wanted to wait to give you this, but I guess now’s as good a time as any.”
He placed the black wolf between them and wound up the key in the back. In the silence of the room, a gentle song began to play in bright, cheerful notes.
Their song.
Austin leaned forward and whispered in her ear. “I’m here, Lexi. I told you I’d never leave you again, and I meant it.” He petted her ears, her face unresponsive. “But… if you have to leave me—if for some reason you can’t hang on, but you’re too scared to let go, then I’m here, baby. I’m right here with you. I won’t let you go into the dark alone.”
He nuzzled close with his arm around her, sensing her energy dimming. Even his alpha power couldn’t force a shift unless she was conscious, and he didn’t know how much time they had left together. Every second was precious.
He’d never taken the time to feel how soft her silver fur was against his fingertips, and especially how different the texture was on her neck than on her paws. He ran his fingers up to the black tips of her ears and wondered if she could hear him.
“Let me tell you about the first time I fell in love with you. It was a hot summer at the lake, and you were seventeen. Wes and some of the guys were drinking beers in the tent, and I told them I had to take a leak. But I lied. I wanted to check on you. I walked toward the lake, and you were sitting alone, listening to the radio and singing. Damn, I had to stop for a minute just to soak it all in. It hit me right then and there, Lexi. Your silhouette against the moonlight and the way you faced the unknown—I saw a woman growing up before me. I caught a glimpse of a future I wanted, and it included you.”
The door closed behind him as Edward left.
He tucked his arm beneath his head and continued stroking her face. “That’s when I used to smoke. Yeah, yeah. I know. I thought it made me look cool. I can still remember you in those pink pajama bottoms with the strawberries and the way the clouds looked like puzzle pieces moving across the sky. Can you see it? I wanted to say something to you, but I felt like words would ruin the moment. I’d mess it up by saying something dumb, and I didn’t want you to leave. You curled your arms around your knees and rested your head, and all I thought about was putting my jacket over you even though it wasn’t cold. I was torn—still a young man trying to figure out what he wanted. I knew I couldn’t have a life with a human, but my wolf was singing for you—baying to the moon while I sat in silence.”
Austin smiled, and a tear rolled across his nose. “Something I never told you about that night was that you were sitting near a pile of ants. The damn things were crawling up the back of your shirt—big black ones. I was picking them off, hoping you wouldn’t notice or get stung. If your brother had walked up on us, he would have thought I was a creeper trying to feel up his little sister.” Austin quieted for a moment, his voice softening. “I was saving that story for our fiftieth anniversary. I knew you’d get a laugh out of it.”
Suddenly his heart constricted at the thought of a life without Lexi. Her empty spot at the table; the nail on the wall, absent of keys; her shoes by the door; hearing her laughter from across the house. Austin rose up on his elbow and stroked her soft, beautiful face. “I know you’re tired, but you need to come back to me. You need to fight through the darkness and wake up. It’s the hardest damn thing you’ll ever do, but you’re not alone. I’m in there, and you just have to follow my voice. Please, Ladybug. Just try.”
The small cry of an infant pulled his attention away, and for a fleeting moment, Austin wavered between two loves. He heard Lexi’s voice in his head saying, “Go to him.”
Austin sat up, face wet with tears, and approached the wooden rocking cradle that Ivy had given them. Before leaving the house a few days ago, he had moved it to the bedroom without Lexi knowing. A fur blanket lined the inside, providing a warm cocoon. Austin knelt down and lifted the tiny hood away from the baby’s face.
“I’ll be damned,” he said, tears glittering in his eyes. He’d thought love at first sight only happened once in a lifetime, but he was wrong.
Austin cradled the back of his son’s head and lifted him into his arms. Someone had swaddled him in a pink gown with a hood. Tiny butterflies on the cotton material made Austin smile.
Jesus, he looked just like Lexi. Until the little guy blinked a few times and looked up with crystal-blue eyes rimmed in black. Austin bowed his head and placed a reverent kiss on his son’s forehead, rising to his feet and drifting toward the bed.
“We have a handsome son.”
Austin sat down and placed the baby next to Lexi, counting all those tiny fingers and toes. Premature or not, this was a strong baby with pink cheeks, a pudgy mouth, and…
Suddenly a thought occurred to him. He might be hungry.
Austin hovered over Lexi with his lips resting beneath her left eye. “I can’t do this without you, Lexi. I can’t.”
The music began to wind down until the last note hung in the air.
What began as a few small chirps from the baby evolved into a wail. His son’s cries echoed the torment he felt within his own heart.
“Lexi, shift. Do you hear me? Shift!”
The door swung open, and Lynn barged into the room, her eyes filled with panic. Edward closed the door for privacy.
“My baby,” she gasped, nearing the opposite end of the bed. Lynn brushed her hands across Lexi’s back—so tender and doting. “Oh my sweet baby, Mommy’s here. I’ll take good care of you. Don’t you worry, everything’s going to be all right.”
Austin couldn’t look anymore. He couldn’t withstand living in this moment, or it might rip his soul apart. He got up and walked toward the window, folding his arms and staring at his reflection in the glass. He could see Lynn draping herself over Lexi, singing her a song and preparing to endure the worst kind of pain imaginable for a mother.
Austin would never mend from this. He was caught in a maelstrom of emotions, and the rage spinning at the core threatened to strip away every thread of goodness he had left in him.
The baby’s cries intensified, and Lynn tried to soothe him. “Oh, Lexi, he’s so beautiful. Shhh, little one. Everything’s going to be okay.”
But it wasn’t. And the idea of Judas living and breathing insulted him more now than ever. Heat licked off him, and a thin film of condensation appeared on the window.
A gentle howl filled the room, and it was coming from Lexi. Austin spun around so fast that he almost lost his footing.
He rushed to the bed and reached across it. “Let me have him.”
Lynn curved her body away.
“Her wolf is calling for her baby.”
Austin moved to the center of the bed and placed the wailing baby next to Lexi’s wolf—close enough that she could pick up his scent.
“He’s here, Lexi. He’s right here.”
The baby cried, shaking and turning an ugly shade of purple.
Lexi’s wolf broke her howl and sniffed the baby’s head, her eyes still closed. Her pink tongue appeared as she lazily licked his ear, a low sound in the back of her throat—the one a mother wolf makes to comfort her young.
His cries waned, and after a few deep gasps, he calmed. In a moment that can only be explained as magic, Lexi shifted to human form.
“Relic!” Austin roared. “Relic!”
Lynn scooped up the baby to make room.
Edward rushed in so abruptly that he almost bumped into Lynn. He quickly moved around her on the other side of the bed. “Hurry. Turn her over.”
Lexi was curled in a fetal position, so Austin gently hooked his arm around her legs and moved her until she was on her back, knees bent, toes touching the headboard.
Edward listened to her heartbeat with the stethoscope before pulling out a blood pressure cuff. After a few moments, he released it. “Her vitals are improving. I need to remove the bullet. We don’t have any time. Can you help me?”
Lynn nervously rocked the baby while Austin and Edward rolled Lexi onto h
er stomach. Austin pulled her hair away from her face.
“Make sure her airway isn’t obstructed,” Edward said. “It was too risky to remove the bullet from her wolf, but the longer it stays in there, the more damage it’ll do each time she shifts.”
Austin sprang into action and stripped away a blanket. He tossed every last pillow off the bed and lay down facing her, stroking her right cheek with his thumb, listening to her breathing and watching her eyelids flutter.
“Just a little something to numb the area,” Edward murmured.
“That’s my girl,” Austin said, his voice tender and filled with a renewed sense of hope. “Just hang in there, and we’ll have you patched up in no time.”
***
Three hours later, Lexi was resting comfortably. The Relic had removed the bullet. He skipped the stitches, concerned that she might involuntarily shift and further injure herself. Austin coaxed her awake long enough to force her to shift to wolf form. Lorenzo asked permission to give her some healing medicine, but since her wolf wasn’t awake to drink, Edward had to run a tube down her throat so they could funnel the liquid into her stomach.
Within minutes, she was breathing more easily, and her wolf’s gums went from a shade of blue to a healthy pink.
But she still hadn’t woken up.
Austin received confirmation that the war was officially over. Those who weren’t killed in battle had either escaped or surrendered, throwing themselves on the mercy of the local Packmasters. Lorenzo volunteered to watch the children for the night. Izzy and Jericho agreed, deciding it was best, with everything going on. Lennon eagerly went home with Lorenzo, eager to reunite with his brother.
The pack took turns visiting with Lexi and giving her words of encouragement. Lynn agreed to leave Lexi’s side when the Relic reminded her that if they didn’t get a good rest, none of them would be in any condition to care for Lexi in the morning.
Austin shifted once to heal up the injuries he received from Judas. Most had been reduced to tolerable abrasions, but the bullet wound required more attention. It had reopened twice in the back and bled, and while the shifting sealed it up, Austin decided he wanted to carry the scar. Edward applied a small dab of liquid fire that burned like hell and imprinted the scar on him to wear as a reminder of what he’d almost lost.
Everyone had showered and added pillows to the blankets in the hallway so they could be together and support Austin.
“How’s he taking to the bottle?” Izzy asked, concern brimming in her eyes. She knelt next to Austin and brushed her finger over the soft hair on the little guy’s head.
Austin smirked and pulled the bottle out of the baby’s mouth. He scowled and shook with anger, his hands balling into little fists.
“You tell me,” Austin said with a laugh, giving the baby his bottle back.
She breathed out a sigh of relief. “Good. I wasn’t sure how Lexi felt about breast-feeding, but we obviously can’t do it while she’s in wolf form. Hell’s bells, eight nipples might traumatize the little guy.”
Denver snorted. “Or set up every woman in his life for failure.” He slurped up a noodle from his can of soup and dipped the spoon back in.
“That’s gross,” Jericho muttered.
Denver shoved a spoonful into his mouth. “You think adding water makes it gourmet?”
Austin had his legs bent and knees together, the baby placed between them so they were staring at each other.
“What are you going to name him?” Denver asked.
Jericho tossed a peanut at Denver’s head. “Leave the man alone. He’s got enough to worry about.”
“Shut it, dickhead,” Denver retorted. “You’re still mad about not getting first choice with Melody.”
Jericho’s eyebrow arched. “Isabelle didn’t come up with that name.”
Izzy struck him in the face with her pillow. “Quit telling lies.”
Denver laughed and stretched out across his sleeping bag at Austin’s feet. To the right, near the bathroom, Wheeler and Naya were lying on a fur blanket with her head in his lap. She was fast asleep, still recovering from both the injuries she’d sustained and the repeated shifting. Wheeler stroked her dark tresses, his head against the wall and his eyes shut.
The baby spit the bottle out, and Austin set it down, cradling the little guy in his arms. Damn, he felt so tiny, and it made Austin paranoid he might accidentally hurt him, so he handled him like he would an egg.
When the voices died down, he looked over his right shoulder at William. “Where’s Ben?”
Wheeler’s eyes popped open and remained fixed on the ceiling.
William lowered his voice. “His wolf fled after we shifted back.”
“You mean after Wheeler shifted back.”
While their wolves had reunited, the two brothers hadn’t made peace. Austin had always kept his doors open to Ben, but through the years, Ben wasn’t comfortable around the family since he couldn’t mend what was broken with his twin. They were both equally stubborn men, and neither had made an effort to resolve that conflict.
Trevor snored lightly against William’s right side, head resting on his shoulder.
“Think you can get used to that?” Austin asked. “You might have the right idea, staying in separate rooms.”
William quirked a brow. “I’ve been told I sing in my sleep, so I don’t know who’ll have it worse.”
Reno crouched down in front of Austin. “Mind if I hold him for a little while? You look like you could use a few winks yourself.”
Austin swaddled his son and placed him in Reno’s arms.
Reno stood up and pressed the baby to his chest. “Come see Uncle Reno,” he said, his voice gravelly. “I’ll tell you a story.”
Denver chortled. “I’m sure he’s dying to hear your stories about storming the beaches of Normandy.”
“Nah,” Reno said softly, cooing to the baby. “I’m just going to tell him all the cautionary tales of Denver the Dunderhead.”
He took a seat against the far wall beside April, who eagerly leaned against him to get a look.
Austin rubbed his face, uncertain of the time. To keep the baby immersed in darkness, they’d switched off the hall light and put night-lights in a few available sockets. It was nice. Cozy. He fed off that positive energy and allowed his packmates to support him for once. He’d spent years making sacrifices and tough decisions for his pack. That’s what a Packmaster did, and it was a selfless, thankless job.
His parents had gone in earlier to be with Lexi. After settling down in the hall, it didn’t take long before they’d fallen asleep on the other side of the game room entrance.
The bedroom door opened, and everyone looked up.
Maizy stepped out, her eyes puffy, and took a few steps to her right.
Denver stood up and pulled her in a tight embrace. “It’ll be all right, Peanut,” he said quietly. “Come lie down.”
William leaned forward. “Did she wake up?”
Maizy did a zombie walk to Denver’s blanket and sat down. “Her wolf let out a whimper when he last examined her, but she’s not awake.”
William patted Austin’s leg consolingly. “These are the moments that define who we are. Mustn’t worry about the things you can’t control, but the things you can.”
Edward peered through the open door and waved Austin in.
Austin rose up, his joints stiff, and stepped over a few blankets. Once inside, Edward closed the door and folded his arms.
“I’ve done everything I can do.”
Austin’s chest constricted. “What the hell does that mean?”
The Relic rubbed his chin, eyes downcast. “It means there’s no more medical care I can provide. The bullet is out, the external wounds are closed, and her vitals are stable. I don’t have reason to believe she has internal bleeding, but I can transport her to my clinic for further tests. To be honest, I’d prefer to keep her still. If you can get her to shift once more, then I’m confident any remaining intern
al wounds will heal. Her breathing has improved, and I’ve removed the chest tube, but her body is weak. She lost too much blood, and then there was the trauma of childbirth. The shifting has helped her blood replenish, and Mr. Church’s medicine might have some properties that will aid the healing process.”
Austin glanced at Lexi. “So what exactly are you telling me?”
“I want you to understand the gravity of the situation, Mr. Cole. She died twice, but she has a strong heart, and something is keeping her here. She requires absolute rest, but…”
Austin met his gaze and held it. “But what?”
“I can’t promise that she’ll wake up. Her fate is no longer in my hands.”
A light knock sounded at the door, accompanied by crying.
When it cracked open, Reno peered in. “He won’t stop fussing. Izzy told me to burp him, but…” Reno shrugged, softly patting the baby’s back. “He threw up on me.”
Austin took his son and cradled him in his left arm. “I got you, little man.” He put some alpha power in that voice, and the baby instantly responded, yawning and then closing his eyes.
Edward rocked on his heels. “If you want my advice, keep the baby close to your mate. Her wolf will scent him, and she seemed responsive earlier to his cries. Are you ready to take this on? Caring for a baby alone, I mean.”
Austin stroked the soft hair on his son’s head. “I’ve been ready to care for this baby since I was born. As for caring for him alone, why don’t you poke your head in the hallway and you’ll find out how alone I am.”
Chapter 33
It had been two days since the war ended and Austin’s son was born. Lexi still hadn’t woken up. The Relic never used the word coma, but that was the word lurking behind every conversation. Edward offered to cancel his appointments and stay for a few days, which was more than generous for someone they hadn’t known very long. Everyone took turns sitting with her wolf, but not so much with the baby.