Unfortunately Joseph was born with a few defects. His hand was too big, he had a lump on his back and he didn't form properly. He was small and would cry all night, which was very annoying. Maria tried to breast feed him but he didn’t want her milk, so we had to give him cow’s milk.
Living in the Amazon was very hard. I was born in Minas Gerais which was more developed. Here in the interior and middle of jungle, the malaria was killing lots of people.
It was thought that deforestation was the cause of so many cases of malaria. I had to cut down loads of trees to make more land and when it rained, big pools of water stayed for days, which was perfect for the mosquito, which carries the malaria virus, to breed. Everywhere you looked, people were dying from malaria. It was a sad time.
I decided to do something before I started to lose my children as well. Every night we would burn wood mix with dry cows waste to make lots of smelly smoke around the house. The smell and the smoke kept the mosquitos’ away and seemed work really well.
My family was growing and so I decided to build a large bungalow with 8 bedrooms, a big kitchen and a big party room. It took me two years to complete the building and I invited all the farm neighbours over for a big party with a lot of food and dancing. I even killed a cow for the barbecue.
That night was perfect. People were dancing, laughing and eating lots of food. I just walked around supervising all that was going on.
I saw my daughter Marina talking to a young man over in the corner. It was quite dark and they didn’t see me as they were very close together. I had told Marina before that none of my daughters was born to marry or fall for any man, they were mine only.
I thought I’d been very clear, but it looked like she hadn't heard me. I went over to have a conversation with both of them. The man came in my direction, with his hand held out as if to shake hands. As if I was going to shake it?!
I punched him right on the nose, breaking it. He fell to the floor like a mango from a tree. It was real funny. Marina screamed and dropped to her knee to check if he was hurt. How she could do that to me? It angered me more, so I kicked his ass out of my property.
As a result of what happened, everybody decided to go home. Some left plates full of food, but I couldn’t let that happen. I picked up my rifle and I aimed at the guy who was controlling the music player and forced him to continue playing. I shouted at him to put on a fast dance. I gave orders to everybody to take hold of their partners and to dance, or I would shoot them all. The party wouldn’t be over until I said so.
I asked Maria to take Marina to a room and lock her in there. I was going to give her a lesson she wouldn’t forget the next morning. I finally let the people go home. I am sure they will never come again, but I just hate the thought of wasted food. The party ended at 6 A.M., just as the sun light was just coming up from Behind the trees.
Marina ended up being sick. I over did it on the punishment and she ended up covered in bruises, and she threw up, but it was good, at least in future she would listen to me. My daughters were not allowed to date anyone. They would stay with me until I decided what to do with them.
Marina was actually a beautiful young lady, she reminded me of Maria when she was young. I used to watch her swimming in the river. I was always hiding by the bushes so she never saw me spying on her.
My mind began to play tricks on me again. I kept seeing a large black shadow in my bedroom, telling me things, and last night this thing told me I needed to see the professor who was teaching at the school in the village. The shadow told me to punish him because he was getting too much respect from the village people, which was affecting my reputation.
I was the only one who deserved to be respected. I helped to build the village, I brought money and helped. I gave jobs to the people. I never paid much, but they all had enough to live on.
I decided to listen to the shadow of my subconscious, so went to the village to see the professor. When I arrived at the school I asked to see him. He sent someone to say he was busy, which was a big mistake. No one ever was too busy to see me and nobody ever said no to me.
Of course, I did not listen to his messenger. I went inside to talk to him, pushing the messenger aside. The man was really busy, correcting the kids last tests. He looked up, a surprised look on his face and asked what I wanted, and if he could help me.
I looked at him straight in the eyes and I asked him to come with me. He didn’t seem to show any fear. We walked outside of the school together and I told him that I was the only one who could give orders to others and that people had to ask me first before doing anything. I told him I had to decide where to build the new school, not him.
He apologised to me and said he would do whatever I asked, but not before I told him I was going to burn his house down with his family inside, and that I would make it look like a terrible accident.
The professor had a daughter and a beautiful wife who I sometimes met in the woods to have a little bit of fun with. She was easy catch, I just had to offer her something and she was very willingly to open her legs for me.
The poor professor never had time for her, he was always working and busy with his ideas. Someone had to something about his naughty wife.
The new school was eventually built by the only road leading out of the village, and it was certainly a big job. I put a lot of people to work there and when it was finished, we decided to have an open day. Elena, the professor's wife was there, beautiful as always, with her long black hair and piercing brown eyes.
She started flirting with me. I didn't expect that because her husband was at the party as well. My wife and kids weren’t, as I didn’t allow them to go anywhere. I didn't want anything from outside influencing them.
I went inside to get some food and Elena followed me. She started kissing me right there behind some boxes. She was as bad as me. We’d been having this affair for a long time, but this day she seemed determined to cause problems. I quite liked it and I didn't care to be honest.
Then the inevitable happened. Her husband walked into the room and saw us there together. I watched as his face became as white as paper, and he started shaking. Elena just walked towards him and took him away, before he tried anything stupid.
I enjoyed the rest of the day. I didn’t see either of them again. Later I found out they’d gone home because Elena was complaining of not feeling well. Only I knew the reason why.
One morning I was working in a new stable I had built on my farm when a local boy from the neighborhood arrived with the news. The professor was moving and taking his family with him. I decided to go to his house to persuade him to stay. I didn’t want him to go since the new school needed a teacher and I had not finished with his wife yet.
When I arrived, he was outside his house filling his horse cart with bags and boxes. He was certainly surprised to see me. He didn’t pay me attention however, just ignored me completely and continued with what he was doing. So, I walked over to him and shouted. I never liked being ignored. I said to him he was making a big mistake and that if he were to leave, all the kids would be without schooling and that was not good for my reputation, as I’d built it.
He didn’t listen to me. Instead he pulled out a machete and ran towards me. I didn’t want to kill the son-of-a-bitch, so I walked away. He continued coming at me however, with ever more anger.
He made the biggest mistake of his life. I shot him between the eyes. There was no blood, just a tiny hole between his now lifeless eyes. I stared at his dead body for few minutes, feeling like I was in some kind of trance.
Elena must have heard the shot. She screamed and ran from inside the house. I explained to her what had happened, and that I’d tried to walk away, but he’d forced me to shoot him, so now we had to get rid of the body.
Elena it seemed was really scared I’d kill her too. She suggested we dig a hole in her back yard and bury him in it. We dug where it was soft, at the location of her herb garden. Once her husband was in the hole, we covered him up and she pla
nted all the herbs back on the top of the grave, together with as many flowers as she could find. As he had already told everybody he was moving, it made his disappearance easy to hide.
Elena went to the school and told the children her husband had left her and that he’d moved back to his home town. Even though Elena helped me to bury her husband, I didn't trust her. She had no choice to keep our secret as she knew I would not think twice to bury her too, and her daughter, which would be a real waste, if she ever told anyone.
My family was already completed, I had my older kids helping me with the farm and young ones were already being training for the work they needed to do.
Maria suddenly was getting a large belly again. I discovered she was pregnant again with twins. Firmina was scared of her losing her twins again, so I decided to let her stay in the house for the entire duration of the pregnancy. Maybe I was getting softer with the age.
Several years had now passed. I been very busy with my farm and I hadn’t heard from my old boss Joseph, he was getting older by day and his health was not great. My life had started to change; people began to move closer to my farm which was starting to feel more like a town.
Elena had a new man in her life now that her husband was well and truly forgotten. The new man was living with her in the same house, unaware that her husband was buried in the backyard.
Elena never told anyone about what had happened, as she didn’t want to implicate herself. She had no choice but to keep the secret.
The region I was living started to get crowded with people from everywhere, so I decided to move to a new state no far way. I heard there was a lot of land available for free from the government. I could start a new farm and work on it until I could sell my own, then move there with all the family.
I decided to go and talk to my boss, I was not moving far but I had to tell him, find out what he thought about the idea.
When I arrived at St' Ana Farm, I could see my boss sitting outside, smoking a pipe with his head lost in his thoughts; his eyes fixed on nothing in particular. He didn't see me arriving.
I sat by him and he moved his head slowly towards me. He then looked at me for a long time before speaking. He asked me about my family and what I was doing with my life. We talked all afternoon, and one of his maids brought us cake and coffee.
I told my boss of my intention to move to a bigger farm, closer to the black river. He sounded very proud of me and what I’d been doing. He said he was going to support me and make it possible for me to succeed as he felt he was the son he’d never had.
In 1970 I put my own mark on the new land. I also built a bungalow and prepared it for all of us to live in. My sons and I worked hard until we were finally ready to bring everything from the old farm. My boss sent a few trucks full of animals. The new place was really remote, around 40 km from the nearest city. If someone became sick, they would surely die before being able to get any proper treatment.
The time passed, and with the help of my boys and girls I built my empire; opening land, planting grass for the cows and also starting a big spice plantation, as well as coffee.
After several years living on the new property, life was finally starting to feel prosperous, but I was always aware someone could come along and destroy my way of living. My daughters had also started giving me trouble again.
Several people managed to acquire land in the neighborhood and started building houses, planting coffee and making farms. I had quite a few visitors questioning me about my life and what I was doing for a living as my farm was the largest and most prosperous.
I never told anyone about my life. All my belongings were well hidden in the house. My secret was kept a secret. Marina then started dating some guy from the neighborhood. She thought I didn't know about him because she was meeting him in secret. She knew that I would not be happy and I would end it. Marina was meeting him every day in the spice plantation. She’d pretend she was working, but would sneak way into the bushes to meet him.
She left the house one morning and I followed her. She said was going to the plantation but she then changed direction. I was following her from a distance. When I finally saw that man holding my daughter in his arms I could not control myself. I ran after him and I started a fight, rolling on the ground like two animals. Marina was screaming for me to stop and not to kill him. I was not going to, as he was strong and besides, we had only few years left living on the area. I didn’t want to bring attention to myself. No, I had no plans to kill him. As we fought, Marina ran away into the middle of the forest crying. I followed her, leaving her lover bleeding and with a broken nose. He was lucky. I found my daughter crying by the river and I took her home, pulling and pushing her as she didn’t want to leave.
When we got back, I locked Marina in an empty room for a few days, just giving her food and water and a bucket to use as a toilet. She didn’t even have shower or see anyone for days.
Maria was begging me every day to let her go, until I eventually decided to open the door and let her out. When she came out she was like a ghost, pale, thin and sick. Hopefully she’d learnt her lesson.
Firmina and Maria gave her a bath and food, but everybody after that would look at me with hate in their eyes. I had to be hard or no one would respect me. Firmina never did respect me, and as a result was always doing her spells and potions. Maria gave me some support over the years but I knew she was on her mother’s side really.
I was so tired one night, after drinking a coffee that Firmina had prepared. I remembered going to bed, and the next day in the afternoon, after 12 hours of sleep I awoke, still very drowsy.
Maria justified it by suggesting I was stressed and rundown, maybe I had some kind virus. She then told me Marina was gone. That She’d run way with the man she was seeing.
I believe someone drugged me. I was sure Firmina did it to help Marina escape. I was so tired and I decided to let marina go, she was no good to me anymore anyway. Not working or helping me on the farm anymore and having this obsession with marriage. I think if she’d have stayed I would have ended up killing her because she was driving me crazy and that would certainly not be any good for my life at that moment.
Maria became pregnant yet again. I told her this time I wanted a boy. I was determined to throw the baby in the Black River if it was a girl.
Maria was so scared, especially when she gave birth to a red-haired girl, just there by the black river. It took her hours to deliver the baby. She’d felt the pain that morning when she was fishing with Firmina.
I could not kill the baby. I looked at it and felt confused, as she looked different to my other babies. She had red hair and her eyes were staring at me, so I could not do it. The days and years passed and Emilia, a name decided upon by Maria, would follow me everywhere.
I believe this girl came to my world with one purpose only; to destroy me. She was not like the other children; she had piercing big green eyes, very white skin and red hair. No one had red hair in our family. We were all brown-skinned with black hair.
The Day Emilia was born it was full moon. Firmina gave her a bath under the moon light and offered her to her gods. The witch was mad!
After Emilia was born my temper started getting worse. I had no patience to talk to anyone, I could not sleep properly, I could not control myself and was hitting my children and even the grown up kids more frequently.
My mind felt tormented. I’d have nightmares and would have trouble sleeping. I was seeing things in the house, and I could hear voices whispering in my ear. Emilia would cry in the middle of the night saying that someone was in her room touching her.
I could kill someone with my bare hands if they come close to my children. But in my sleep I could see myself walking around the house in the dark. I felt like I was going crazy.
My mother-in law was plotting something against me; I could feel it in my body and mind. I could see her witchcraft everywhere. She started teaching Emilia those things. I knew it would not be good idea, as Emil
ia was not a normal child. She felt like the devil’s daughter, not mine.
I didn’t even like to look at Emilia. She was growing fast and learning everything very quickly. Every time I looked at her she was staring at me with anger in her eyes, as if she hated me too.
Emilia was 5 years old when Maria asked me to look after her while she was away with Fermina visiting a lady who was having a baby. Fermina was a midwife as well, so could help her.
I really didn’t want to look after that little devil, so I decided to take her with me to the forest. I had a lot fun taking her to the middle of the jungle while hunting. I left her there waiting for me by a big tree, in the hope a panther would come over and eat her for dinner. But, after few hours I would return and the little monster was still there at the same place I’d left her, no trace of fear in her eyes.
Maria went mad at me, saying she could have been killed by an animal. I wish she had been, but she would probably kill the animal first! Maria didn’t know that girl was the devil’s reincarnation, but I did.
Emilia would scream and kick all night. Nobody could sleep, so I got up in the middle of the night and I beat her up so badly she passed out. Maria was in despair, thinking I’d killed her. I knew I hadn’t, but I could have. I was just so tired of that little monster.
The next day she was there again looking me with those big snake eyes of her. She was so curious she never stopped following me with her eyes. Only when I twisted her ear making her cry, would she stop.
One night the full moon was up above the house. Everybody was outside, and the entire countryside was lit up by this beautiful moon. We were all there in silence; the only sound coming from the crickets and frogs by the lake.
Everybody finally went to bed, but I stayed out there alone with my thoughts. It was about 10 pm and the moon was high in the sky. I was standing there in silence thinking about what I’d do the next day, when I heard something. The sound I heard was different to any of the usual animal noises. It was more like heavy footsteps. I looked around and saw nothing. My body was shaking. I had always been afraid of ghosts or any kind of supernatural stuff. I looked around and thought I saw a shadow, but I couldn’t see it very well, but I sensed someone was there.
Daughter of the Forest: Diary of an Assassin Page 16