I scrubbed at my face, frustration over my behavior and bullshit pride setting in. “I don’t know.”
“Well you need to come up with something!”
“You think I don’t know that?” I snapped back. “I know! I just need to figure out what to do, okay?”
Grayson watched me closely, like a specimen beneath a microscope. “How about you shower while you think?” he suggested sarcastically. “You smell like hot garbage.”
Glaring, I asked, “You taking all your bossiness out on me because your wife’s the one with the balls in your household?”
His shit-eating grin told me my insult didn’t affect him in the slightest. “Keep being a pain in the ass and I’ll make a few calls. I’m pretty sure the girls would be more than willing to load up and come over to rip you a new asshole for hurting their friend’s feelings.”
The threat actually made me shiver. Those three were a force to be reckoned with on a good day. I figured they’d be more than happy to rip me more than a new asshole. I’d be lucky if I still had my manhood by the time they were done with me.
Grunting several choice words, and calling him every name I could come up with, I stood and headed for the bathroom to do as suggested, because I knew for a fact that he wasn’t bluffing.
I came out of the bathroom in a pair of clean gray sweatpants and a navy T-shirt while scrubbing at my damp hair with a towel.
“There, happy now?” I asked, stopping at my kitchen counter and holding my arms out to show my new level of cleanliness.
Grayson slid a mug of fresh coffee my way. “It’s an improvement to the stench coming off you when I first arrived, that’s for damn sure.”
“What’s the coffee for?” I asked, even as I lifted the mug to my lips and took an invigorating drink. “It’s the middle of the day.”
Gray rested his palms on the countertop, his arms stretched wide as he leaned in. “It’s to sober your ass up. You’ve got some groveling to do later today. But first.” He lifted a hand and waved in the direction of my living room. “Clean this cesspool you call a house. Just in case you somehow manage to get her to hear you out, you don’t want to bring her back to this pit.”
I was starting to regret healing that rift between my brother and me. He was quickly becoming a serious pain in my ass.
It seemed that was a hereditary trait for the Lockhart men.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Fiona
My job sucked.
Okay, so maybe it wasn’t my job that sucked so much as my mood, but because of that, I’d hated everything and everyone the past two days.
I took my shitty attitude out on anyone who crossed my path. Hell, my poor assistant, Sarah, was walking around on eggshells after I bit her head off the day before because the coffee she’d brought me wasn’t hot enough. The truth was the coffee was just fine, but I was in the mood to snap, so I snapped.
It was like I was PMSing times a thousand, and no one was safe.
Sometimes being at the boss level was a bitch. If I didn’t have so much responsibility at the company, I would’ve called in sick these past couple of days. Unfortunately that wasn’t an option. I still had at least three hours’ worth of work to finish before I could leave for the evening.
Turning my attention from my computer screen, I glanced at the cell phone sitting facedown next to my keyboard. Like I had a gazillion times in the past forty-eight hours, I picked it up, turned it over, scrolled to my text thread with Deacon, and sighed heavily at what I already knew I’d find—nothing.
With a huff, I blacked the screen once more and dropped it back on my desk. My heart ached at the same time that anger started simmering in my veins. That prideful, stubborn jerk hadn’t reached out to me once since that fight in the back of The Black Sheep, and the more time that passed without hearing from him, the more pissed off I got. I’d screwed up countless times, but I always owned up to my mistakes and worked my ass off to apologize. He owed me the same.
Two quick knocks sounded, followed by Todd peeking his head around my partially open office door, saying, “Knock, knock.” God, I hated that. If a person was already knocking, then why the hell did they feel the need to say it as well? “How’re you doing?”
Barely able to restrain myself from rolling my eyes, I looked back at my computer as I spoke flatly. “Everything’s fine, Todd. Do you need something?”
He stepped all the way inside my office, uninvited, and closed the door behind him. “I don’t mean to be intrusive, but I’m concerned about you. You haven’t been yourself since we got back from the holidays. Is everything all right?”
“Like I said,” I started, speaking to my monitor, “everything is fine.”
I sensed Todd moving closer to me and shifted my attention from the computer to him just as the stench of his cologne hit me. “Look. I know we don’t know each other that well, but I’ve always considered you a friend, Fee. I care about you, and it’s obvious there’s something bothering you. Talk to me. I’m here to help.”
The stress of the past few days settled in my stomach like week-old pizza, and I’d finally reached my breaking point. “Deacon and I are having some… issues,” I admitted, unable to keep the words from flowing. It wasn’t Todd’s concern that had me blurting something so personal. It was just that I’d been teetering on the edge for two days, and finally slipped and fell over. It was as if I had no control over what I was saying and to whom.
“That’s tough. I’m so sorry.”
His sincerity, or lack thereof, didn’t even register. It was like the floodgates had been opened and I just couldn’t stop. “We got into a fight a few nights ago and haven’t talked since.”
“He hasn’t called you? Are you serious?”
“I know!” I shouted, throwing my arms up. “What’s the deal with guys not calling when they screw up? I mean, I’m not going to make the first move! It’s not my place. He’s the one who messed up.”
He moved around my desk, coming to a stop behind my chair, placing his hands on my shoulders and massaging gently as he said, “You’re absolutely right. You aren’t a doormat. You shouldn’t be the one to back down. God, honey. I’m so sorry.” The unwanted familiarity of his caress, and the way he called me honey, as if I were more to him than just a work colleague, snapped me back into reality and sent an unpleasant shiver down my spine. I couldn’t believe I had just let all of that out. It was as if I’d been having an out-of-body experience.
I shot up and put several feet of distance between us. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just said all of that. It was unprofessional and inappropriate. Just….” I waved my hands in front of me. “Just forget it.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. It’s obvious all of this has been weighing on your mind, and you needed to get it out.”
I shook my head, angry with myself for not only losing my cool, but also losing it in front of Todd, of all people. The guy’s boundary issues were bad enough already; I shouldn’t have done anything to give him any more ammunition.
The atmosphere of the room had suddenly changed, making me extremely uncomfortable. “No, actually, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. No offense.”
He held up his hands in surrender. “None taken. I’m just glad that you felt comfortable enough with me to open up.”
God, I’m such an idiot. “Look, Todd, I let my emotions get the best of me, that’s all this was. Nothing more than that. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a lot of work to get done.”
He continued to push. “Why don’t you let me take you to dinner? I can get you out of here, take your mind off things.”
“No, thank you.”
“Listen, Fee. Maybe it’s not my place to say this, but you deserve so much better than that guy.”
“Todd,” I clipped warningly. “You’re right, it’s not your place. At all. And as I’ve said, this conversation is over.”
Closing the distance between us, Todd placed his hands on my hips, caus
ing my entire body to lock up tight. “If you were with me, I’d never ignore you for days at a time.”
Professionalism went out the window. “Todd, I’m going to say this one time, and one time only. You don’t know me well enough to touch or talk to me in such a personal way. We’re coworkers, and as coworkers, what you’ve just done crosses all kinds of professional boundaries.”
Despite having laid it out for him in a way that he couldn’t possibly misunderstand, Todd smiled, his fingers pressing deeper. “Come on, Fiona. I know you want me. We’ve been tiptoeing around each other for years. You can’t possibly tell me what I feel is one-sided. I know better.”
Smacking his hands away from me, I took a big step back. “That’s absolutely what I’m telling you. There isn’t the slightest romantic inclination for you in my mind, and the fact that you could come in here, ignore my first warning, and keep pushing your boss to the point of harassment blows my mind.”
Todd’s entire demeanor changed, like a switch had been flipped. “Are you serious? I came in here to check on you, and you basically poured your heart out. Talk about leading a guy on.”
“Oh my God!” I cried. “Todd, I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but I didn’t pour my heart out to lead you on. Call it momentary insanity or whatever you want, but I would’ve snapped no matter who walked through my door. It had nothing to do with you.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he snarled, showing his true colors. I knew they’d be bad. I just had no clue how bad until right at that moment. “You know, it’s no wonder that loser you were with ghosted you. You’re nothing more than a cock-tease.”
My back went straight. I lifted my chin and turned my back on him to stomp to the door. “I’ll remind you again that I’m your superior in this company. I’m willing to chock this episode up to a one-time misunderstanding, but let me make myself perfectly clear. If you ever speak to me or anyone else in this office in that manner again, if you so much as step a toe out of line, you’ll no longer be employed at Prentice Fashion. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”
His lips curled up in an unpleasant sneer. “Crystal.”
“That’s good to hear.” Grabbing the knob, I yanked the door open and continued, “Now, please leave. And unless it’s something directly related to your job here, do not set foot past this door again.”
After he left, I walked back to my desk on wobbly legs. The adrenaline pumping through my system left me shaky, and my heart was threatening to burst from my chest. Bracing my hands on the cold surface, I glanced at my computer screen and noticed the time in the top right corner. I had a department meeting in five minutes, which meant I had no time to freak the hell out like I desperately wanted to.
It would have to wait.
I made the turn onto my street, dreading the idea of going home to my colorless, sterile house. After spending so much time at Deacon’s warm, inviting place, mine felt sad and lonely. If I was being honest, I kind of hated it. There was no life or personality. It was simply a glaring reminder of everything I didn’t have.
Daphne had invited me to come over to her and Caleb’s place for dinner, thinking that spending some time with their baby would cheer me up, but I politely turned down the offer. I loved all of them, especially Evie, but being around a loving couple and their precious daughter would’ve only made me feel worse.
My plan was to drink my way through a bottle of wine while binging on whatever Netflix show held my interest, but when I pulled into my driveway, the headlights of my car illuminated Deacon sitting on the top step of my front porch.
My heart started pounding against my ribs at the sight of him, and my breath stuttered as I turned off the car and climbed out. Hooking my purse over my shoulder and wrapping my coat snuggly around me, I slowly started up my front walk and stopped just shy of the first step.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, crossing my arms defensively.
I wasn’t sure whether or not he was ready to apologize, but if that was the case, I wasn’t going to make it easy on him. That jackass had his work cut out for him.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Deacon
I pushed to standing, taking one step down toward Fiona, the need to touch her driving me mad. “Sorry to just show up. I tried calling you.”
Reaching up with one hand, she rubbed at the space between her eyebrows with two fingers, like the weight of her stress was starting to affect her physically. I could understand that all too well. “I lost my phone back at the office. It’s probably in the conference room or something.”
“Oh, well….” I shrugged with discomfort. “I guess that’s why you didn’t answer or return any of my texts.”
Fiona started shifting on her feet, the cold obviously getting to her. The way her nose and cheeks were burning a bright shade of pink made me want to grab her and pull her into my arms in an effort to warm her up.
“Look,” she sighed a few seconds later, “I’m not sure why you’re here, but I’ve had a really bad day, and I just want to get inside and crash.” Starting up the stairs, she was careful to keep a distance as she went around me.
I spun quickly, desperation thickening my words as I all but begged, “Fiona, please. I’m so sorry. Please, can we just talk?”
Even with her back to me, I could see the defeat in her body as she dropped her head on a deep exhale. After what felt like a miserable eternity, she finally spoke. “Fine. Let’s go inside. I’m freezing out here.”
Even as I breathed a sigh of relief, in the back of my mind I knew my battle was far from over. Walking into her house, I was hit with a shock. Before we started dating, I’d never made it past her front stoop, seeing as we were barely even friends back then. Since getting together, Fiona had insisted on staying at my house every night, claiming it felt more like a home than hers. And she hadn’t been wrong.
The place didn’t have a single ounce of Fiona’s personality anywhere. It was all undecorated white walls and monochromatic furniture in different shades of beige. It was like walking into the front lobby of a doctor’s office, uninspiring and drab. The only thing missing were the two-year-old editions of magazines no one had any interest in reading.
“So,” she said, breaking into my thoughts. “What do you want to talk about?” I watched her ass move beneath her skirt as she removed her coat and scarf, hanging them on a hook by the front door. My gaze stayed transfixed as Fiona wandered through the living space and into the less-than-appealing kitchen. It wasn’t until she looked back and snapped, “Deacon!” after catching me leering that I lifted my eyes to her face. Even seeing the fury sparking behind her eyes, I couldn’t bring myself to feel guilty for checking her out. My hands had been all over that ass, and my mouth had tasted her everywhere just a few days before. I’d fucked up, but until she said otherwise, her body was mine to gawk at.
“You wanted to talk, so either talk or leave so I can go to sleep.”
Fuck me. She wasn’t going to make this easy. “I screwed up, baby. I never should have piled my shit on you a few days ago. I was an asshole for sending you away like I did, and then I made it worse by going days without making it right. I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Fee.”
After staring silently at me for several seconds, she reached out and pulled the cork from an already open bottle of wine, pouring it into a glass she retrieved from a cabinet. Once finished with that, Fiona went to the fridge, pulled out a beer, and uncapped it, sliding it toward me.
It was only after she was done with our drinks that she spoke again. “We had this conversation when I was the one with my head up my own ass. But I’ll give you a refresher, seeing as this time you’re the one who was twisting shit up.” She took a sip of her wine and placed it on the counter, resting her hands on either side of it before diving in, her tone serious as a heart attack. “We don’t shut each other out. We don’t play games. We’re honest with each other always. If you need to think, you do it with me. If you’ve got something that
’s weighing on your mind so heavily that you’re in a perpetual state of grumpiness, you don’t take that out on me. If you don’t want to talk right then, that’s fine. Say so, but don’t push me away while you’re stewing over your problems. I’m not your doormat, and I never will be.”
Christ, there was that fire again. And damn, if it didn’t make me hard as hell.
“I’ll give you time to process whatever’s bothering you as long as you promise to eventually open up to me. If this is something you can’t agree with, then we need to stop this right now, because this is something I can’t compromise on any further.”
I watched, completely enraptured by her, as I lifted my beer and took a huge gulp to help alleviate the dryness in my throat. “That’s a promise I can make.” Her entire body sagged in relief. “Anything else?”
At my question, her chin tilted up and she crossed her arms, exuding an air of haughtiness. “Yes, as a matter of fact, there is. Your thinking time has officially expired. I want to know about you and your dad. Everything, Deacon.”
“Okay.”
My immediate compliance shocked her, and her body gave a surprised jolt. “Oh. Okay. Well, that’s… good.”
However, I had a stipulation of my own before giving her what she wanted. “But first I need you to come around here.”
Fiona’s head tipped in bewilderment. “Why?”
“Because I’ve needed to kiss you since you climbed out of your car, and I’m done waiting. You want answers, and I’ll give you everything you want, just as long as you let me touch you while I’m doing it.”
She didn’t make me wait, coming as fast as her fuck-me heels would allow. By the time she rounded the white marble counter separating us, she was nearly at a run. I braced just in time for her to launch herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck in a death grip. I returned the gesture, holding on to her waist and lifting her off her feet.
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