by Aimee Horton
5 people like this
Dottie Harris is getting fed up of this constant need to wee malarky.
September 13, 2010 at 18:05
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Dottie Harris is totally loving Wonder Woman on Lorraine!
September 14, 2010 at 8:14
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Dottie Harris doesn't think there is any point her bringing the plate of cake upstairs to the lounge when the cake is gone by the top step.
September 14, 2010 at 10:38
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Dottie Harris has reached a new all time low. Husband had to help her remove skinny jeans as she was too fat to bend and get them over ankles. WHEN WILL IT END?!
September 15, 2010 at 21:16
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Dottie Harris thinks it's great that she was left to discover on her own accord that they’d run out of baby wipes.
September 16, 2010 at 8:54
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Dottie Harris is thinking she might have to go and sniff the gin bottle.
September 16, 2010 at 21:20
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Dottie Harris is having to hide her McFlurry down the side of her seat while she sneaks spoons as there is NO WAY she's sharing it.
September 17, 2010 at 12:15
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Dottie Harris is worried she might fall through the ceiling if she gets any heavier.
September 21, 2010 at 12:44
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Dottie Harris is considering just leaving The Monster in his PJs and Ugg boots all day as that's what he wants to wear and she can't be bothered to argue.
September 24, 2010 at 9:13
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Dottie Harris has finally found something practical about being this pregnant: She can barely reach the sink to wash up! Hurrah for fatness!
September 26, 2010 at 8:40
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Dottie Harris wants Toad in the Hole and doesn't care how many pubs she has to go to until she finds it.
September 26, 2010 at 15:21
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Dottie Harris has had Toad in the Hole and has cheesecake for later.
September 26, 2010 at 17:23
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Dottie Harris wishes her son would understand that anybody in their right mind would love to be tucked in to their cosy bed and allowed to snuggle down and sleep for an hour!
September 27, 2010 at 11:51
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Dottie Harris is hoping she'll wake up tomorrow to an immaculate house, all the ironing done, a quiet sleeping newborn baby in the crib and a flat stomach.
September 27, 2010 at 18:14
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Dottie Harris wonders if using the phrase “Granddad will cry" to discipline her son is the wrong thing to do.
September 29, 2010 at 17:09
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Dottie Harris had to put her son’s vest on him this morning at the same time as his shirt. Not an easy job but at least it stopped the battle before nursery!
September 30, 2010 at 7:49
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Dottie Harris is unsure why The Monster thinks walking backwards towards something he’s been told not to touch makes it all ok?
October 1, 2010 at 11:24
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Dottie Harris has 26 days left until her due date, and is encouraging her fat daughter not to be like her father and leave everything to the last minute. WE ARE READY FOR YOU NOW, Tinkerbell!
October 3, 2010 at 8:55
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Dottie Harris has given up on "nesting".
October 3, 2010 at 15:21
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Dottie Harris was stupid to think that locking The Monster’s Lego in the bathroom would encourage him to nap. How she didn't think about the other 8 million toys is beyond her.
October 4, 2010 at 13:06
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Dottie Harris is adding extra spice to tonight’s curry.
October 4, 2010 at 19:00
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Dottie Harris - door shelf on fridge containing milk and juice breaks and falls to floor + fatty who can't bend with no kitchen roll = pissed off pregnant woman.
October 5, 2010 at 18:36
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Dottie Harris is hoping that the mixture of CBeebies and Disney will babysit The Monster today.
October 6, 2010 at 9:05
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Dottie Harris hearts The Apprentice big time. So many idiots, so many stupid statements.
October 6, 2010 at 21:12
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Dottie Harris has just tried to rearrange the bedroom furniture, however didn't get very far due to weak girly muscles and too many clothes. You'd think her current ass size would help her out.
October 7, 2010 at 9:11
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Dottie Harris is thinking of just smoking it out (Who can name the reference?).
October 9, 2010 at 7:23
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Dottie Harris is hoping the excitement of picking up her new car (well new to her) and tumble dryer might just be rock ’n’ roll enough to tempt this fat baby out of her!
October 9, 2010 at 12:26
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Dottie Harris hasn’t had the baby yet folks, no matter how often you keep texting.
October 11, 2010 at 23:11
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Dottie Harris is lying on the sofa letting her son stick stickers on the bump. Anything for a quiet life!
October 17, 2010 at 20:45
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Dottie Harris is still pregnant.
October 18, 2010 at 18:11
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Dottie Harris is slamming doors and stomping up the stairs. COME ON BABY.
October 23, 2010 at 12:26
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Dottie Harris is a mummy of TWO! Baby Girl was born at 14.51 weighing in at a chunky 9lbs 4oz x
October 25, 2010 at 15:57
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Dottie Harris has had the gin, has had the bubbly, has had the runny egg, and has also had the eating breakfast with one arm. Doh!
October 28, 2010 at 8:22
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Dottie Harris is thinking size 0 by Christmas is unlikely given the fact she can't stop being a big fat pig.
October 30, 2010 at 17:50
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Dottie Harris has two little people fast asleep on her. It’s just a shame she can't reach the remote to change over from CBeebies - Miss Hoolie is not good for her rage.
October 31, 2010 at 12:51
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Dottie Harris has completed bath and bedtime. Time to put her "comfies" on and open the bar. G&T or wine?
October 31, 2010 at 19:25
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Dottie Harris isn't loving the “toddler getting naked every time she turns her back” stage.
November 1, 2010 at 10:01
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Dottie Harris is snuggling in bed with a sleepy little lady and finding lots of excuses to stay there!
November 2, 2010 at 9:04
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Dottie Harris isn't eating Halloween chocolates.
November 2, 2010 at 13:23
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Dottie Harris must not turn Christmas present shopping into clothes shopping for her and the kids.
November 4, 2010 at 14:44
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Dottie Harris is nervous. The Monster sneaked her can of Diet Coke away and used it to fill his tea set up.
November 7, 2010 at 17:50
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Dottie Harris thinks that perhaps Auntie Mabel should put more effort
into her song lyrics.
November 8, 2010 at 9:40
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Dottie Harris - Caffeine.
November 10, 2010 at 8:06
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Dottie Harris is disappointed that The Monster doesn't appear to be getting what a good idea an afternoon nap would be, especially if he wants to be alive when Daddy gets home.
November 10, 2010 at 12:40
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Dottie Harris has just watched The Monster put his dinner in the bin. So not allowing him to use a grown up chair again.
November 10, 2010 at 16:40
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Dottie Harris thinks tonight is going to have to include alcohol and naughty food of some variety. If they all make it through bath time alive, that is.
November 10, 2010 at 18:09
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Dottie Harris loves that on nursery days her day doesn't start with kid’s TV.
November 11, 2010 at 8:28
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Dottie Harris has cracked open the final box of "congratulations" chocolates.
November 11, 2010 at 14:35
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Dottie Harris has a poorly toddler with a high temperature and a very chubby baby with a slightly gunky eye. Where can she trade them in for cute, well models?
November 12, 2010 at 15:56
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Dottie Harris is amazed how the person who has had a fairly solid nights sleep (only interrupted by being told to come to bed when asleep on the sofa) is having a "well needed" nap, yet the person surviving on 3.5 hours is still awake doing chores.
November 14, 2010 at 19:23
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Dottie Harris is shocked that there isn't a specific hospital for sufferers of man flu as it's obviously life threatening.
November 15, 2010 at 15:48
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Dottie Harris hasn't had caffeine yet and it shows.
November 17, 2010 at 8:39
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Dottie Harris is not loving that The Monster can now tell on her. He’s already announced to friend on the phone “Mummy ate my dinner". No more secret meals for me then. Traitor.
November 17, 2010 at 12:30
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Dottie Harris is wondering if she can latch The Chubster onto the husbands nipple so he can do the night feeds and she can sleep.
November 20, 2010 at 22:39
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Dottie Harris thinks poo shooter nappies suck at the best of times but half way through a cold, dark feed is the worst :(
November 22, 2010 at 5:38
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Dottie Harris loves her new washing machine a bit too much, wonder if the carpet would fit in!
November 22, 2010 at 9:15
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Dottie Harris can't believe her daughter has turned against her and is delaying gin o'clock with her insistence that she's still hungry (she's not) and that she's not tired (she is).
November 22, 2010 at 19:58
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Dottie Harris is reconsidering revisiting her hamster-type bottle to crib feeding idea. Dragons’ Den here I come!
November 23, 2010 at 3:34
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Dottie Harris could murder a gingerbread latte, stupid colic.
November 24, 2010 at 8:42
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Dottie Harris is reminding herself that her children are lovely and she can't leave them outside, free to a good home.
November 24, 2010 at 18:41
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Dottie Harris - gin o'clock.
November 24, 2010 at 19:08
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Dottie Harris - Chubs, just because your nappies are disposable doesn't mean your vests and sleep suits are too.
November 25, 2010 at 8:54
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Dottie Harris is excited about seeing snow in 27mins if the BBC weather site isn't fibbing.
November 25, 2010 at 14:33
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Dottie Harris has sick in her bra.
November 26, 2010 at 04:32
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Dottie Harris just ooh'd because the CBeebies song has changed to winter. Bad times, bad times.
November 28, 2010 at 10:02
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Dottie Harris is wondering how many cups of tea it will take to feel human again.
November 29, 2010 at 8:09
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Dottie Harris has opened the bar and is having a well-deserved drink.
November 29, 2010 at 19:32
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Dottie Harris only has 3 teabags left.
November 30, 2010 at 8:27
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Dottie Harris is toddler free - for now!
December 2, 2010 at 8:26
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Dottie Harris loves her kids so much more when they are asleep in bed.
December 2, 2010 at 20:01
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Dottie Harris hates it when The Monster wants to help colour in HER picture :(
December 3, 2010 at 15:03
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Dottie Harris is disappointed she didn't find the remote control at the bottom of the toy box after clearing it out. It was her last hope!
December 3, 2010 at 17:27
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Dottie Harris is considering running away to a hotel and sleeping for a year.
December 5, 2010 at 8:50
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Dottie Harris would like to thank Ocean Finance for their fish tank television channel screen saver. It appears to be the equivalent to white noise for The Chubster!
December 6, 2010 at 9:03
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Dottie Harris is wondering if every time The Monster has an afternoon nap, he has to do it on the landing.
December 6, 2010 at 13:14
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Dottie Harris is being played by a 6 week old. Sobs uncontrollably in her chair, coos and smiles in her arms. She’s a sucker for the coos.
December 7, 2010 at 14:29
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Dottie Harris doesn't seem to remember a time where she didn't have sick on her.
December 8, 2010 at 8:39
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Dottie Harris just turned round from doing the washing up to find a small naked child dancing to Boogie Beebies. He even managed to undo the poppers on his vest!
December 8, 2010 at 8:58
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Dottie Harris regrets telling The Chubster that she likes newly washed and ironed bedding, as she now obviously thinks it's her duty to ensure hers gets washed daily.
December 9, 2010 at 4:08
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Dottie Harris - Pizza.Gin.Done.
December 9, 2010 at 19:53
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Dottie Harris thinks she needs a new haircut. Maybe not something to be worrying about whilst being thrown up on.
December 11, 2010 at 6:03
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Dottie Harris is loving The Monster "driving to work" on the car shaped bathmat.
December 13, 2010 at 9:22
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Dottie Harris would quite like to smack perky Katy from I Can Cook around the face, maybe with a frying pan.
December 13, 2010 at 10:22
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Dottie Harris has had the nightly task of deciding between gin or wine. This time she chose wine.
December 14, 2010 at 20:13
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Dottie Harris - my daughter has just thrown up in my mouth.
December 14, 2010 at 20:13