by Aimee Horton
September 28, 2012 at 17:01
3 people like this
Dottie Harris had a feeling it was going to be a tough morning when the first thing she heard was “Mmmuuummmmmyyyy SHE is POINTING at me".
September 29, 2012 at 11:21
9 people like this
Dottie Harris has just received a tirade of abuse for giving The Chubster smoothie.
October 1, 2012 at 10:11
11 people like this
Dottie Harris, after blood, sweat and tears has achieved an Alice in Wonderland playing card costume for school on Friday, only to be informed by The Monster that actually it's rather rubbish and he wants to be the Cheshire Cat. Er. No.
October 2, 2012 at 16:23
4 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks that The Chubster’s landing meltdown is hindering her Friday night gin consumption.
October 5, 2012 at 19:38
7 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks her husband will be owing her a present for deleting The X-Factor so he could record the F1. You know, the F1 which is on now while she’s awake and he's asleep. She’s thinking a car would be nice.
October 7, 2012 at 8:03
12 people like this
Dottie Harris has just had a VERY productive couple of hours at the gym. *ahem*jacuzziandsaunaandgossiping*ahem*
October 7, 2012 at 14:58
3 people like this
Dottie Harris has had a wholesome lunch of beef Hula Hoops followed by 6 Rich Tea biscuits. Classy.
October 8, 2012 at 13:41
2 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks that next parents’ evening she may be relegated to end of the line when her 10 minute slot turned into 25 minutes. *ahem* she just like to get all the details. Plus she was giving the teacher a chance to use the word GENIUS. She didn’t.
October 10, 2012 at 21:01
19 people like this
Dottie Harris only woke up at 10am and had a cup of tea in bed. Just saying.
October 13, 2012 at 11:01
3 people like this
Dottie Harris had a FAB sneaky night away with him indoors, but is very happy to be back in her little house with her beautiful little monkeys (now that they're asleep).
October 13, 2012 at 19:37
2 people like this
Dottie Harris wonders if the teaching assistant who would happily take The Monster home would be happy just collecting him and taking him to school every day instead. Cold.
October 15, 2012 at 6:58
5 people like this
Dottie Harris wonders if stealing the last Haribo is grounds for divorcing a greedy husband?
October 16, 2012 at 20:46
7 people like this
Dottie Harris is unsure how she is going to attempt, let alone maintain, a glam mum image on the school run today. The only fashion statement may be drowned rat.
October 17, 2012 at 8:19
9 people like this
Dottie Harris wonders how two small children can cause so much brain ache in such a short amount of time. Bar is open. Pass the gin. *sob*
October 17, 2012 at 19:01
16 people like this
Dottie Harris is currently listening to The Chubster empty the bookcase and The Monster bellowing “SHUT UP YOU'RE GIVING ME A HEADACHE". Ironic.
October 18, 2012 at 19:13
9 people like this
Dottie Harris was informed by nursery today that her daughter was so cross about having to leave the “garden centre” play area for group time that she stuck her head in a bucket of compost.
October 19, 2012 at 17:56
29 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks it's slightly unfair that her daughter doesn't want Mummy to have a pair of Kensington Ugg Boots for her second birthday. SELFISH.
October 20, 2012 at 7:38
5 people like this
Dottie Harris - The Chubster’s opinion of healthy banana muffins: Look at them, laugh and crumble them on the floor.
October 22, 2012 at 8:09
4 people like this
Dottie Harris is wishing she'd never taught The Monster the word "compromise".
October 23, 2012 at 8:15
12 people like this
Dottie Harris can't believe her baby is 2! Happy Birthday Chubs! xxxx
October 25, 2012 at 7:01
24 people like this
Dottie Harris is on the way to Peppa Pig World wondering if she'll make it through the car journey. Send gin.
October 26, 2012 at 7:27
5 people like this
Dottie Harris didn't enjoy having to clear sick out of the car in the hail just now. Poor Monster :(
October 27, 2012 at 15:45
7 people like this
Dottie Harris loves her children with all her heart, however she really wishes they had mute and pause buttons.
October 28, 2012 at 8:01
6 people like this
Dottie Harris can’t believe her son can unlock the bathroom door with a 10p piece.
October 29, 2012 at 10:08
11 people like this
Dottie Harris - Bedtime battle: Mummy 1 - Chubs 0.
October 30, 2012 at 7:01
6 people like this
Dottie Harris - HA - 2-0
October 31, 2012 at 7:15
8 people like this
Dottie Harris would like to remind all teenage trick or treaters that a mask (which you don't even put over your face) and a bike does not make a costume.
October 31, 2012 at 18:57
4 people like this
Dottie Harris may or may not have ignored the doorbell so she can eat the leftover Haribo.
October 31, 2012 at 19:34
6 people like this
Dottie Harris has just seen her daughter take yesterday’s half eaten mini roll out of the bin and eat it.
November 2, 2012 at 16:11
9 people like this
Dottie Harris has finished watching Ghostwatch and therefore has no chance of sleep, especially after The Chubster dropped her cup out of bed at a critical pipe banging scene.
November 4, 2012 at 22:56
12 people like this
Dottie Harris is quickly losing the will to live.
November 5, 2012 at 18:34
6 people like this
Dottie Harris genuinely doesn't know if she'll make it through the day now that she's run out of Rich Tea biscuits.
November 6, 2012 at 11:32
5 people like this
Dottie Harris has just been asked by a 4 year old if she's *actually* an adult. She’s assuming the response “Go back to blinking sleep" doesn't back up her case.
November 6, 2012 at 20:01
6 people like this
Dottie Harris wants to apologise to the doctor for being told by a 4 year old that she's "a bit rubbish" because she didn't produce and apply eczema cream then and there in the surgery.
November 7, 2012 at 15:28
6 people like this
Dottie Harris is struggling to help her son complete his homework. JUST WRITE THE LETTER “S”, THAT’S ALL YOU NEED TO DO!
November 7, 2012 at 17:32
5 people like this
Dottie Harris will not be attempting the school run without the pushchair again. Tantrum a go go.
November 9, 2012 at 9:23
9 people like this
Dottie Harris - Sleep! LOTS OF SLEEP!
November 10, 2012 at 7:24
5 people like this
Dottie Harris is still singing the Jolly Phonics songs to herself even though she's on her own. "The snake is in the grassss, the snake is in the grasss...."
November 13, 2012 at 10:01
6 people like this
Dottie Harris wasn't embarrassed at all at her daughter’s refusal to leave nursery. Or the fact she had to sit on her to put her coat on. Or the fact she was kicked and hit in the face. Or the fact they had to be escorted to the
car park.
Pass the gin.
November 13, 2012 at 18:59
17 people like this
Dottie Harris is glad she bothered to make The Monster a spotty T-shirt for Children in Need. Especially as his response was “But I wantttteeedddd sppoootttyyyyyyy trroouussseeerrrssss" *whimper*
November 15, 2012 at 16:28
6 people like this
Dottie Harris may have 3 dresses that all look perfectly lovely, but in true form has nothing to wear.
November 16, 2012 at 19:03
5 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks building a pirate ship straight after painting her nails was a mistake.
November 17, 2012 at 15:21
9 people like this
Dottie Harris is pooped. One night out and she's considering bringing the jimjams out before 5pm!
November 18, 2012 at 16:21
3 people like this
Dottie Harris and The Chubster have just demolished a pack of Jaffa Cakes. On Chubs insistence, obviously. *cough*
November 20, 2012 at 11:41
2 people like this
Dottie Harris is pleased to hear from The Monster that Daddy has "loads of money for presents this Christmas". Diamonds it is then!
November 20, 2012 at 19:01
9 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks it's true love. Husband has bought her ice cube trays shaped like stars because she was grumpy we only had square ones. Little things.
November 20, 2012 at 19:28
6 people like this
Dottie Harris really wishes her daughter would draw on the furniture she's trying to replace rather then the nice stuff.
November 22, 2012 at 11:42
5 people like this
Dottie Harris wants to thank Lincolnshire Police for being so understanding about The Chubster's 999 call earlier.
November 23, 2012 at 14:25
19 people like this
Dottie Harris wonders how she's going to bribe The Monster after the 25th December.
November 27, 2012 at 16:26
10 people like this
Dottie Harris is feeling really, really tired
November 28, 2012 at 15:08
3 people like this
Dottie Harris is drowning in a 4year old’s home work.
November 29, 2012 at 16:21
6 people like this
Dottie Harris has discovered she is quite a sore loser when it comes to school raffles.
November 30, 2012 at 18:24
6 people like this
Dottie Harris isn’t the only person to tell her children that Santa lives in the house alarm sensor, along with the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy, is she?
December 2, 2012 at 9:31
17 people like this
Dottie Harris is unsure how to deal with the fact that The Chubster is scared of Advent calendars.
December 3, 2012 at 7:01
5 people like this
Dottie Harris has not only had another "DOES" "DOESN'T" "DOES" "DOESN'T" argument with The Monster, but it was followed by "I'M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN. YOU'RE NOT MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE". Perhaps saying “Thank God, do you promise?" wasn't the response he was expecting.
December 3, 2012 at 18:59
4 people like this
Dottie Harris is slightly baffled as to how The Chubster has managed to come home from nursery with only one sock on.
December 4, 2012 at 18:32
2 people like this
Dottie Harris - The Monster on The Snowman “That's stupid you can't walk on the air, only fly".
December 5, 2012 at 16:23
16 people like this
Dottie Harris only really wants a bowl of Coco Pops for her dinner, but apparently that’s not “nutritious”
December 5, 2012 at 20:04
6 people like this
Dottie Harris - HE'S TRAINED!!! On our 9th wedding anniversary he finally brings me a cup of tea without being asked
December 6, 2012 at 7:01
9 people like this
Dottie Harris may never speak to her son again. Mariah’s “All I want for Christmas" is NOT the "rubbish-est song ever".
December 7, 2012 at 16:23
6 people like this
Dottie Harris has just gained 3 stone looking at her Christmas food shopping list, and can’t wait to get stuck in.
December 9, 2012 at 21:04
7 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks it was totally worth paying to have the carpet cleaned just to have The Chubster wee all over it less than 24 hours later.
December 11, 2012 at 9:01
8 people like this
Dottie Harris has totally just managed to stop the tears (snot) at The Monster’s first school nativity. It was close though!
December 13, 2012 at 11:43
6 people like this
Dottie Harris - watching a 4 year old write Christmas cards? Most.Painful.Experience.Ever.
December 13, 2012 at 16:29
16 people like this
Dottie Harris - Gin.
December 13, 2012 at 17:03
12 people like this
Dottie Harris - Strange thing number 987657 Chubs is scared of: The squirrel in Ice Age.
Ice Age is now playing as payback for her earlier meltdown. Karma.
December 14, 2012 at 11:45
9 people like this
Dottie Harris is having a sofa day with poorly Monster. She’s not feeling to bright herself if she’s honest.
December 17, 2012 at 9:12
6 people like this
Dottie Harris is thinking that The Chubster climbing out of her high chair and crawling across the table is perhaps the final straw for the day. 2 hours until they’re in bed.
December 17, 2012 at 17:03
4 people like this
Dottie Harris has just completed "emergency crafting”. She’s sure nursery should have made the party hats for us.
December 17, 2012 at 23:12
6 people like this
Dottie Harris is perhaps a little emotional today. A child pushed Chubs at nursery and she’s not sure who cried more.
December 19, 2012 at 19:01
8 people like this
Dottie Harris - Not great weather for PJ day at school.
December 20, 2012 at 8:55
3 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks that whilst it's lovely that her husband has finished work for the holidays, she hasn't and she's not interested in watching Jeremy Kyle right now, thank you very much.
December 20, 2012 at 9:28
9 people like this
Dottie Harris - Words you don't expect to be greeted with when returning from the supermarket: “Take this bag; it's dripping poo juice".
December 20, 2012 at 18:57
4 people like this
Dottie Harris is hiding in the en-suite with a box of Quality Street waiting for bath time to be over.
December 21, 2012 at 18:14
6 people like this
Dottie Harris thinks that whilst The Chubster’s pretend snoring is very cute she would like it more if she didn't do it so close to her face.
December 22, 2012 at 6:58
4 people like this
Dottie Harris knows that when you have to call Santa from the breakfast table it's going to be One of Those Days.
December 22, 2012 at 8:43
11 people like this
Dottie Harris would like to apologise to the woman at the soft play whose bottom Chubs felt the need to constantly squeeze. With both hands.
December 22, 2012 at 16:21
6 people like this
Dottie Harris - Present wrapping and Jazz FM. That's how cool she is these days.