by Lylah James
She took her eyes off mine and looked down at her lap. And then she took the pen in her hand, putting it on the paper.
I stared at her face; it was filled with concentration as she slowly wrote her words down.
I am fine. And you?
I read the words when she showed me the paper. Sending her a small smile, I shrugged. “I’m alive—biggest gift of the day.”
Valerie frowned, her face changing from calm to worried.
Are you in danger?
After quickly writing, she showed me the paper again.
“Not really. Are you?” I questioned, taking the subject off me. She didn’t need to know anything about it. The less she knew, the better.
The worry lines faded at my words, and then the silent myskha shook her head.
Not really.
I raised an eyebrow at her answer. “That’s not an answer. Is it a yes or a no?”
Her lips settled in a straight line before she furiously started to write down on the notepad again.
You gave me the same answer.
I brought a fist to my mouth, trying to hide my laughter. Ah, there she was. The feisty nun peeking up at me again.
It left me wondering if I was the only one who saw that side of her. She appeared to be closed off, almost emotionless, but there was fire in her. And I wanted to explore that.
“It’s the only answer you’re getting,” I replied, daring her to fight me.
She didn’t. Instead her eyes met mine, and we were both lost yet again.
The sound of the door snapped my gaze away from her. I stared at Igor as he stood against the closed door, his eyes going from Valerie to me.
He frowned at the sight of me. Crossing his arms, he stood there but stayed silent. He knew better than to say anything back to me. Yesterday had served as a lesson to him.
I looked back at Valerie to see her staring at Igor now. Her face was filled with fear, her fingers clenching and then unclenching around the pen.
My lips curled back in anger. Fucking Igor.
He just ruined my moment with my myshka.
I ignored her bodyguard, acting as if he wasn’t even there. He was irrelevant. I would deal with him later.
Placing a finger under Valerie’s chin, I brought her attention back to me. Her eyes met mine, tears filling up in hers.
Instinctively, I brushed my thumbs over her cheeks and then under her eyes, caressing her face softly.
She hiccupped back a sob before tearing her eyes away from mine. Valerie looked down at her lap, and I was forced to move my hands away.
I watched her as she wrote down in her notepad. When she showed me the paper, I read the words slowly.
You shouldn’t be here. If my husband finds out, you will be punished greatly.
Before I could answer, she took back the notepad and started writing again.
Nobody is allowed in here. You should leave.
I shook my head, and frustration glinted in her beautiful eyes.
Please.
He will hurt you.
I shook my head again, and she slammed her pen on the notepad, blinking away tears. She looked so devastated, scared—trembling with fear. Hurt me…do you mean he will hurt you, my beautiful nun?
Leaning forward until our faces were inches apart, I made sure her eyes were on me. “Valerie, this estate is as much mine as it is his. He can’t hurt me. He wouldn’t even dare. And your husband sure as hell can’t kick me out of here. I can come and go as I please. Nobody will dare test my anger,” I whispered to her.
Her lips parted, her mouth falling open at my words. Confusion clouded her gaze, and she only blinked up at me.
“Nobody will hurt me.” Nobody will hurt you.
Valerie’s confusion made me smile. She didn’t even know who I was—what I meant to the Solonik family.
I was their only winning card—the master of this game. Her fucking husband was a nobody.
“Sir, it is improper for you to be this close to Boss’s wife.”
I looked over Valerie’s shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Igor. He swallowed nervously before averting his gaze.
My gaze went back to where it needed to be, and she seemed oblivious to Igor’s words. There was no response from her. I had thought it would break our moment again, but her gaze was still fixated on mine.
Hmm…interesting.
She blinked up at me, and then her cheeks turned red. Smirking, I pulled away. What was the mute nun just thinking?
Did she imagine my lips on hers—kissing her? Or maybe more?
She blushed harder, looking down at her lap. Her fingers played the edge of the papers, and she licked her lips nervously.
I saw her peeking up at me shyly, her long eyelashes hiding her beautiful doe eyes. Taking my lighter from my pocket, I clicked it open.
Her gaze instantly went to the small fire, completely entranced by it. I took a cigarette out of the small box I kept in my pocket and placed it between my teeth. Her eyes went from the lighter to my lips, and she stared as I lit the end of the cigarette.
She gave me a strange look, like she was studying me, memorizing my face in that little head of hers.
I placed the lighter back into my pocket and inhaled before blowing the smoke out past my lips. The smoke caressed her face, and she blinked her eyes once, still staring at me.
I stepped closer, inhaling at my cigarette again. Valerie’s eyes were on my lips—watching before looking down at her lap.
Her attention was on her notepad as she started writing.
“I kinda hate it when your attention isn’t on me, myshka,” I muttered for her ears only.
There was no response. Not even a flinch. She didn’t even look up at me to acknowledge my words. Cocking my head to the side, I stared at this beautiful woman.
There was so much about her that I still needed to learn. So much to explore. So much to see. She was filled with so many secrets that I didn’t even know where to start.
Valerie kept writing and then showed me her paper.
You shouldn’t smoke. It’s bad for your health.
Reading the words, I busted out in laughter. Was that what she was worried about? My health?
I shook my head at her silly thoughts—oh baby, that’s the last thing you need to be worried about.
I controlled my death, and I sure as fuck wasn’t ready for it yet. Death could fuck itself in the ass with a splintered rod. I would call it when I was fucking ready for it to drag me to hell.
Smoking is bad.
I hadn’t noticed her writing until she showed me her notepad again.
“You are right. Smoking is bad.” I shrugged. “And I like to do bad things.”
She sucked in a harsh breath, her gaze quickly snapping to her lap. Moving closer into her space, I crowded in with my body. She was trapped with nowhere to go.
Leaning closer until my lips were next to her ears, I whispered. “I like to do…very bad things.”
I expected her to push me away, any reaction to my words, but I only got a small shiver. Pulling away, I stared at her.
She swallowed hard, her chest heaving with each breath. I was tempted to tease her more—so tease her I did.
A single finger feathered over her cheek, slowly moving down while caressing her porcelain skin. So smooth, so soft. I wanted to bite it—turn her skin red with my marks.
The thought had my dick twitching in excitement. Down, boy. Patience. I promise, your patience will be greatly rewarded by a warm pussy.
My finger continued its downward path—her jaw, her neck. It lingered there for a second, tickling her skin near her ear before moving down again.
Her lips parted, her breathing louder and harsher. Valerie turned her head slightly to the side, inviting me for more. I knew she had done it unconsciously.
When my touch moved to her chest, her breath hitched with a silent gasp. I smirked at her reaction—fucking perfect.
My thumb soothed over her left tit before circling her nipple
. A soft touch through her dress, but she jumped like she had been shot with a bolt of lightning.
Valerie’s lips moved, but no words came out—only silence. She was voiceless.
Her eyes fluttered, her breathing accelerating with each swipe of my thumb.
“Only my woman has the right tell me what to do or not do,” I murmured, my thumb feathering over her nipple again. Her gaze quickly went to my lips and then my eyes again.
She shivered, her hands clenching her dress too tightly. “And you, myshka, you aren’t my woman.”
Yet.
The devil made its appearance again with one word before disappearing like it was nothing.
Fuck you, you nasty piece of shit.
Her hand came up, her fingers wrapping around my wrist, stalling my movement. I raised an eyebrow in surprise, staring down at her hold on me.
Her fingers tightened, and I looked back up again. Valerie stared at me with desperation—I couldn’t read her. I knew she was attracted to me—she wanted more, but the fear was there. And rightfully so.
I was seducing her slowly, and she was falling in the trap laid out for her.
“You are so tempting, Valerie,” I said. Her eyes were on my mouth, watching my words.
She blinked up at me, the sad look in her eyes making my heart clench tightly. Her gaze went back to my lips again. Letting her go, I took a small step back.
“It seems whenever I am with you, I forget what’s right and wrong,” I continued while watching her reaction.
Her shoulder dropped, her eyes leaving my face before falling to her lap. It hurt to see the defeated expression on her face.
But I had needed to know something, and my suspicion was just confirmed.
The way her eyes always went from my eyes to my lips whenever I was talking. She would only respond when she was looking at my face—other times it was as if I wasn’t even speaking.
Shaking my head, I stared at her in complete astonishment. And a little bit in awe.
This beautiful nun, with alluring eyes, wasn’t just mute.
She was fucking deaf.
Chapter 17
Valerie
His touch was electrifying. Every single swipe of his thumb, my skin burned with the sensation. I felt breathless, out of control.
Instead of moving into his touch, I should have pushed him away. I should have been disgusted by his touch. But I wanted it. I wanted more. I wanted everything he was doing to me. How my mind went blank and I seemed to forget everything except his touch and him.
He was all I could think of, and I never wanted it to end.
Every pain I felt before, it was forgotten as I stared into his brown eyes.
I used to hide, locked myself tight into my mind—numb to everyone and everything else, but with him, I felt alive. It was a strange feeling, one I wasn’t familiar with. But even then, instead of hiding away like I always did, I let go and just—felt.
I let him show me how to feel.
My eyes fluttered close when he dragged his finger down my neck and then my chest, circling my nipple. It was wrong, so wrong. But it felt…right.
My fingers clenched around the fabric of my dress, wanting to hold onto something, anything to ground me to the present.
I shivered when he masterfully touched me again, and my eyes snapped open, our gaze meeting yet again. His eyes were heated, mixed with warmth and so much lust that I shuddered. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Viktor was in control, the master of this situation while I was just a puppet caught in the strings of his play.
It was a dangerous game he and I were playing. There would be no ending, just a cliff-hanger that would pull us both into the depths of the crimson hellfire.
There was so much more about him than what he seemed. He was a breathing mystery, and I wanted to know more about him, his thoughts—his plans for me.
Why is he here?
The words twirled and twirled in my head, leaving me in a mistful daze. My fingers unclenched from my dress, and without thinking, I grabbed his wrist, stalling his movement.
I needed to think, and with him touching me, I couldn’t even fabricate a coherent thought.
His gaze moved down to our hands. My eyes followed the same path too, until they rested on our hands, my fingers around his wrist, holding him still.
His hand and mine were a stark contrast. His—tanned, strong, and rough, as if it never knew a gentle touch. Mine—pale, small, and soft, as if it never touched the sun.
This man belonged to the same world that destroyed me, yet I couldn’t feel disgust. I looked up, and we just stared at each other.
I felt fear, desperation to know what he was thinking and what he wanted from me.
He is seducing me, but doesn’t he know the results of this play?
Doesn’t he know who I belong to?
If Valentin ever found out—Viktor would never make it out alive. And then I would have to bear the pain of both our mistakes.
The corner of his eyes wrinkled a little bit, and my gaze went to his lips to see him smirking. “You are so tempting, Valerie,” he said.
I watched his lips closely, following each word before I blinked up at him again. My heart stuttered, and my chest clenched. What was he doing to me?
My gaze went back to his lips again, not wanting to miss any of his words. It was the only way I could listen to his words.
My ears were useless—the sound they heard were muted. All voices felt like a blanket, falling in a deep hollow pit.
There were no sound, just small whispers that I could barely make out. If I focused hard on the sound, maybe I would hear a word or two. But even then, it sounded weird, like I was submerged deep under water and someone was whispering from above.
My loss of hearing was my weapon, my strength. I didn’t have to hear all the malice from my tormentors. The silence was a gift bestowed upon me in this chaotic darkness.
It was something everyone feared, a painful and regretful thing to others. But to me, I was blessed to have the silence. I praised it. I welcomed it with open arms.
But for the first time, I wanted to hear a voice—his voice. I wanted to listen to his words; maybe they would have been music to my ears.
For the first time, I felt the loss of my hearing cut me deep.
Viktor let me go, and I felt the cold wash over me in the most painful way. My hand fell to my lap, and my eyes moved to his hands. They were at his sides, his fists clenching tightly. The tattoos on the back of his hands looked more prominent with the angry lines of his veins.
Looking back up again, I stared at his face. He looked at me strangely, his head cocked to the side. Viktor studied my face for a second, his eyes moving from mine to my lips, and then up again.
“It seems whenever I am with you, I forget what’s right and wrong,” he said. I would have missed it if my gaze wasn’t already on his lips.
It seems whenever I am with you, I forget what’s right and wrong.
He couldn’t have spoken any truer words than these. It was as if he picked them right out of my mind. My eyes flicked back to his, and I knew, whatever I was feeling—he was feeling the same.
A strange man I have never seen before. A complete stranger but he gave me more than my husband had ever given me.
He gave me a chance to use my words; his touch was gentle, his eyes soft—every look shooting straight into my heart. He was everything I had been secretly craving—dreaming of.
I looked at the notepad and pen on my lap. Thank you, Viktor. I can’t thank you enough, and you will never know how grateful I am to have those stolen forbidden moments.
But whatever we had between us—we couldn’t have it.
I had to shoot it, put a bullet through it, before it even bloomed to something else.
Without giving him another glance, I took the pen and started writing.
You shouldn’t be here. Igor is watching us. He will tell Valentin, and my husband will hurt you. You s
ay that he can’t do anything to hurt you, but you are so wrong. He is a powerful man. He can do anything he wants…and if he wants to hurt you, he will find ways to wound you so deep. So please, you need to leave. Viktor, you shouldn’t be here. Please, leave.
I showed him the notepad, and he read the words slowly. When I saw no reaction from him, I started writing again. Feeling frustrated at his lack of understanding, I was close to begging now.
Why don’t you understand? If I have to beg, I will. You really don’t understand. Please.
With the notepad still on my lap, he was reading the words and then smirked. “Oh, I would love to hear you beg, silent myshka.”
His face came closer, our noses almost touching. “Just not the type of begging you are thinking. Trust me, when you beg—you are going to do it for a whole different reason. And I’m going to love hearing you beg me.”
My eyes widened in shock at his words. He couldn’t mean…
His hand came up, and he thumbed my lips almost roughly, his fingers then moving to my cheek. They slowly inched their way to upward, his fingertips feathering just below my ear.
It tickled, but the warmth his fingers left in their path made me forget about everything.
“Were you always deaf?”
I blinked, and then my mouth fell open.
Wh-at?
How…? No! Nobody—
My thoughts screeched to a halt when he grasped my neck, pulling me closer. I trembled in shock and went limp, letting him control my body.
What’s happening? I screamed in my head.
His fingers tightened around my neck. It wasn’t hurting—not like when Valentin would hold me. Viktor’s hold held so much dominance in it, but it was…gentle.
I swallowed nervously, and his thumb rubbed the column of my neck softly, forcing my eyes on him again.
“Answer me, Valerie.”
His face darkened and eyes glowed almost fiercely. Those brown irises were darker—almost black now. Viktor looked dangerous, angry. Like a killer, his mind set on his next victim. I saw him grinding his teeth together, his jaw locked.