“Don’t be sad, Sam.”
“I’m not,” I said, trying to inject as much false cheerfulness in my voice as possible. “I’ll get to see you over Christmas break when you come to visit, and I’ll go to Scotland during spring break. We’ll have lots of time together.”
“Aye, but it’s not enough. I’m sorry, but that just won’t work for me.”
My heart stopped for just a second in my chest. I knew where this would lead. Thomas wanted to end things with me. Right here. Right now. The very idea made everything inside me clench and cry out in pain, but even if he did, even if the worst happened, I knew I could get through it. I’d gotten through the worst once already, the day Dylan died.
Dr. Brown was right. I’d changed. I was stronger now. I hadn’t just faced the darkness growing inside of me; I’d somehow managed to conquer it.
“Oh. Well, I understand. I knew it would be hard, and you have a lot on your plate right now…”
He cupped my face in his enormous beefy hands. “Shush, you wee dim bampot. I’m not breaking up with you.”
I blinked. “You aren’t?”
“Is that what you were thinking? Of course not. I had a long talk with my mum, and it helped me reach some important decisions. About my life. About what I want to do.”
I stared at him, trying to read something in his clear blue eyes. “What did you decide?”
“I’ll play rugby next year, but not for the Scottish National Team.”
“Why not?”
“I’m going to the Institute for Applied Linguistics. I spoke with the head coach of the rugby team at your university as soon as we got back from the onsen. They’ve been trying to recruit me as team captain for ages. I signed a contract with him right after I spoke with my mum. I didn’t make it easy on him, though. I played hard to get at first, but, eventually, let him have his way. Just like I did with you.”
I raised an eyebrow at that. “You played hard to get? With me?”
He nodded. “Aye. And it wasn’t easy to do with you chasing after me all the time. It made me feel a bit sorry for you. You were relentless.”
“I was,” I said with a laugh, but then I frowned. “But I don’t want you to give this up for me, Thomas. You could miss out on something really great.”
He kissed the top of my head. “I have something really great. You. It’s what I want. It’s what I’ve always wanted. And it doesn’t matter to me if I play for the Scottish team or not. I can always do it later, after I finish my studies.”
“Can you? Won’t you be too old?”
He raised one haughty eyebrow at me. “A big, braw man like me? Too old? You’re joking, aren’t you?”
“Malcolm said…”
He put a finger to my lips. “I just like to play rugby. It’s never been one of my life’s ambitions to do it professionally. It sort of fell into my lap, but that was Malcolm’s dream, not mine. I’ll be just as happy to play at your university. I’d be happy to play anywhere, as long as you’re with me. You captured me hook, line, and sinker, like a great bloody salmon. Are you pleased now, my annoying little thistle?”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and held him close. A gust of wind made a cloud of cherry blossom petals blow around us, reminding me of the rose petals Dylan had once scattered around his room for me a long time ago. It felt like a message from him, telling me it was time to move on. I’d always grieve his loss, but I deserved to be happy and whole and alive.
I pulled back and kissed Thomas softly on the lips, so grateful for this strong, beautiful man. He kissed me back. Gently. Sweetly. Like he always did and like he always would.
“Yes, ox, I am.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
National award winning author Abigail Drake has spent her life traveling the world, and collecting stories wherever she visited. She majored in Japanese and International Economics in college and worked in import/export and as an ESL teacher before she committed herself full time to writing. Abigail is a trekkie, a book hoarder, the master of the Nespresso machine, a red wine drinker, and the mother of three boys. A puppy named Capone is the most recent addition to her family, and she blogs about him as a way of maintaining what little sanity she has left.
Learn more about Abigail at www.abigaildrake.com and sign up for her newsletter at http://madmimi.com/signups/181796/join.
Saying Goodbye, Part Two (Passports and Promises Book 1) Page 16