by Nora Roberts
The arms she'd lifted to twine around his neck went limp, dropped slowly to her sides in a kind of helpless surrender that excited unbearably, even as it warned him.
He eased back, clamping bis hands on the stove at either side of her as he studied her face. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes were closed, her breath was coming fast and harsh through lips erotically swollen from his.
He thought she would look just like that on the floor, with him mounting her. The image of that had him gripping the stove until his fingers ached.
Then she opened her eyes, and he saw that they were blind, drugged, and a little bit afraid.
"Well, well, well..." He said it lightly, mockingly, as much in defense as in triumph, as his stomach lurched with need. "I'd say we had a different result this time around."
She couldn't catch her breath, much less form a word. She only shook her head as her body continued to suffer from quick, lethal explosions.
"No theories this time, Doc?" He didn't know why he was angry, but he could feel his temper building. Building, then spiking, as she stood there looking helpless, stunned, and more and more terrified. "Maybe we should try it again."
"No." She got that out. She thought her life might depend on the uttering of that single syllable. "No," she said again. "I think you proved your point."
He didn't know what his point had been—something about amusing himself, a test—but it certainly didn't apply now. Now he wanted her with a ferocity that was totally unprecedented. He believed desire was as natural as breathing, and should cause no more discomfort than the easy exhaling of air.
And yet he ached, fiercely ached.
"You... Let me by," she managed.
"When I'm ready. I'm waiting for your hypothesis—or would it be a conclusion now? I'm curious, Rebecca. How are you going to react the next time I kiss you? And which one of you am I going to find when I take you to bed?"
She didn't know—and wasn't sure she could tell him if she did. She was saved from what she was sure would have been abject humiliation when Rafe swung through the kitchen door.
He stopped, summed up the situation in a glance and scowled at his brother. "For God's sake, Shane."
"Get out."
"It's my damn house," Rafe shot back.
"Then we'll get out." He snagged Rebecca's arm and took two strides before panic gave her the strength to yank away.
"No." It was all she said as she walked past both men and out of the kitchen.
"What the hell's wrong with you?" Rafe demanded. "You had her pinned up against the damn stove. She was white as a sheet. Since when have you gotten off on scaring women?"
"I didn't scare her."
But he realized abruptly that he had, and that for a few moments he hadn't cared that he had. In fact, he been hotly thrilled that he could. That was new for him, and shaming.
"I didn't mean to. It got out of hand." Frustrated, he dragged his unsteady fingers through his hair. "Hell, I got out of hand."
"Maybe you'd better keep your distance until you can handle yourself."
"Yeah, maybe I'd better."
Because he'd been expecting an argument, Rafe's brows drew together. He noted now that Shane was just about as pale as Rebecca had been. "You okay?"
"I don't know." Baffled, Shane shook his head. "She's the damnedest woman," he muttered. "The damnedest woman."
Chapter Five
As she was a meticulous woman, it took Rebecca hours to set her equipment to her specifications. There were sensors, cameras, recorders, computers, monitors. Cassie had been able to give her one of the larger suites for a couple of days, and she tried to be grateful for it. Yet it was confining not to be able to set up a camera or two on the first floor.
She doubted any of the other guests would welcome one in the rooms they slept in.
Still, she had space, and the thrill of occupying what had been Charles Barlow's room. The windows afforded a lovely view of the sloping front lawn, the late-summer flowers, the wild tiger lilies lining the edge of the road, and the town itself. She imagined the master of the house would have enjoyed looking out, studying the rooftops and chimneys of the houses and shops, the quiet stream of traffic.
Everything she'd read about Charles Barlow indicated that he had been the kind of man who would consider it his right, even his duty, to look down on lesser men.
She wished she could feel him here, his power, even his cruelty. But there was nothing but a charming set of rooms, crowded now with the technology she'd brought with her.
It was frustrating. She was positive every one of the MacKades had experienced something in this house, had been touched by what lingered there. Why couldn't she?
Her hope was that science would aid her, as it always had. She'd purchased the very best equipment suited to a one-person operation, and shrugged off the expense. Some women, she mused, bought shoes or jewelry. She bought machines.
All right, perhaps she was buying more in the shoes-and-jewelry line these days. Money had never been a problem, and didn't look to be one in the foreseeable future. In any case, she was entitled to her hobby, Rebecca told herself as she dipped her hands in her pockets. She was entitled to the new life, the new persona she was carving out.
A great many of her colleagues thought she had gone mad when word got out on what she planned to spend her free time studying. Her parents would be deeply annoyed—if she ever drew up the courage to face them with her new interest. But she wasn't going to let that matter.
She wanted to explore. Needed to. If she had to go back to being the boring, predictable, utterly tedious Dr. Knight, she would go mad.
Yet she'd learned a valuable lesson the night before. She wasn't quite ready to handle certain aspects of her new life. She'd been cocky, entirely too self-assured, and Shane MacKade had knocked the chip from her shoulder and crushed it to splinters. Lord knew why she'd thought she could deal with sex.
All he'd had to do was catch her off guard once, and she'd turned into a trembling, mindless mess. She'd spent some time being furious with him for causing it—after she got over being terrified. But she was too analytical to blame him for long. She had put on the mask of confidence, had even tried her hand at flirtation. It was hardly his fault that he'd believed the image and responded to it.
She would simply have to be more careful in the future, and rethink her plan to stay at the farm. The man was entirely too physical, too attractive. Too everything. Especially for a woman who had barely begun to explore her own sexuality.
Yes, she would be very careful, and she wouldn't dwell on those sharp and intense needs he'd stirred up in her—the way his mouth had felt on hers, the way his hands had moved over her bare skin. What it had felt like to be touched that way, by that man. So intimately. So naturally.
She let out a long, shaky breath and closed her eyes.
No, she wouldn't dwell on that. She was going to enjoy herself, start her paper on Antietam, make plans for the book she intended to write. And, if perseverance counted for anything, find her ghosts.
Moving to her computer, she sat and booted up. I'm settled in the MacKade Inn now, in what were Charles Barlow's rooms during the Civil War period. There are other guests, and I'll be interested to hear if they had any experiences during the night. For the moment, all is quiet. I'm told that people often hear doors slamming, or the sound of weeping, even the report of a gun. These phenomena happen not only at night, but also during the daylight hours.
Regan has experienced them, and Rafe. There are also reports of the scent of roses. This particular experience is most common. I find this interesting as the olfactory sense is the strongest.
In my brief meeting with Savannah MacKade, I learned that she has often felt a presence in this house, and the woods that border the land. I gather that both she and Jared are similarly drawn to the woods where the two corporals met and fought.
It's fascinating to me that people find each other this way.
Cassie and Devi
n MacKade are another example. In this case, they lived in the same small town all of their lives. Cassie married someone else and had two children, and from what I can glean, a truly horrific marriage. Still, she and Devin found each other, and from this outsider's perspective, seem as though they've been together always.
Both Cassie and Devin have stories to tell about the inn, and their experiences here. I'll have to go into them in depth in my official notes.
Shane MacKade is the only one who has no stories to tell—or rather none he's willing to tell. I'm not used to relying on my instincts rather than pure data, but if I were to trust them I'd say he holds back what he knows or feels. Which is contradictory, as he isn't a man who seems to hold back anything on a personal level.
I'd have to say he's one of the most demonstrative people I've even encountered. He's a habitual toucher, and by reputation one who enjoys the company of women. I suppose one would call him earthy, without the cruder connotations of the word. He is basically a man of the earth, and perhaps that explains why he scoffs at anything that hints of the paranormal.
To be honest, I like him very much. His humor, his obvious attachment to family, his unabashed love of the land. On the surface, he appears to be a simple man, yet—using those rusty instincts of mine—I sense complications underneath.
He would certainly make an interesting study.
However
"The lady doesn't come in here."
Fingers still poised on the keyboard, Rebecca glanced up and saw Emma in the doorway. "Hello. Is school out?"
"Uh-huh. Mama said to come tell you she has coffee and cookies if you want." Very much at home, Emma wandered in, gazing wide-eyed at the machines. "You have a lot of stuff."
"I know. I guess you could say they're my toys. Who's the lady?"
"She's the one who used to live here. She cries, like Mama used to. Didn't you hear her?"
"No. When?"
With calm and friendly eyes, Emma smiled. "Just now. She was crying while you were typing. But she never comes in here."
A quick, cold shiver spurted down Rebecca's spine. "You heard her, just now?"
"She cries a lot." Emma walked over to the computer and solemnly read the words on the monitor. "Sometimes I go to her room, and she stops crying. Mama says she likes company."
"I see." Rebecca was careful to keep her tone light. "And when you hear her crying, how does it make you feel?"
"It used to make me sad. But now I know sometimes crying can make you feel better when you're finished."
In spite of herself, Rebecca smiled. "That's very true."
"Are you going to take pictures of the lady?"
"I hope so. Have you ever seen her?"
"No, but I think she's pretty, because she smells pretty." Emma offered another quick, elfin smile. "You smell pretty, too."
"Thanks. Do you like living in the house, Emma, with the lady and everything?"
"It's nice. But we're going to build our own house, near the farm, because we're a big family now. Mama will still work here, so I can come whenever I want. Are you writing a story? Connor writes stories."
"No, not exactly. It's like a diary, really. Just things I want to remember, or read over sometime. But I'm going to write a story about Antietam."
"Can I be in it?"
"Oh, I think you have to be." She ran a hand over Emma's springy golden curls. It was lovely to discover that, yes, she did seem to appeal to children. And they appealed, very much, to her. "I hope you'll tell me all about the lady."
"My name's Emma MacKade now. The judge said it could be. So I'll be Emma MacKade in the story."
"You certainly will be." Rebecca shut down her machine. "Let's go get some cookies."
She hadn't intended to walk over to the farm. She'd set out to take a stroll in the woods—or so she'd told herself. To take some air, clear her mind, stretch her legs.
But she was out of the trees and crossing the fields before she knew it.
She couldn't say why it made her smile to see the house. She hoped it was late enough in the day that Shane was settled in somewhere, or off with one of his lady friends. She knew that farm work started early in the day, so it seemed safe to assume it would be done by now.
She could see that part of a hayfield had been mowed, but there was no tractor, or whatever was used to cut it, in sight now. She was sorry she'd missed the action. Undoubtedly Shane MacKade riding through the fields on a large, powerful machine would make quite an interesting picture.
But it was really solitude she wanted, before she went back to her rooms and hunkered down with her equipment and notes for the rest of the night.
That was why she veered away from the house, rather than toward it.
She liked the smells here, found them oddly familiar. Some deeply buried memory, she supposed. Perhaps a former life. She was really going to start exploring the theory of reincarnation sometime soon. Fascinating subject.
Because she knew the story of the two corporals well, she wandered toward the outbuildings. She didn't know precisely what a smokehouse might look like, but Regan had told her it was stone, and that it still stood.
There were wildflowers in the grass, little blue stars, yellow cups, tall, lacy spears of white. Charmed, she forgot her mission and began to gather a few. Beyond where she stood was a meadow, lushly green, starred with color from more wild blooms and the flutter of butterflies.
Had she ever taken time to walk in a meadow? she wondered. No, never. Her botany studies had been brief, and crowded with Latin names rather than with enjoyment.
So, she would enjoy it now. Light of heart, she walked toward the wide field of high grass, noting the way the sun slanted, the way the flowers swayed— danced, really—in the light breeze.
Then her throat began to ache, and her heartbeat thickened. For a moment there was such a terrible sadness, such a depth of loneliness, she nearly staggered. Her fingers clutched tightly at the flowers she'd picked.
She moved through the high grass, among the thistles shooting up purple puffs on thick stalks, and the sorrow clutched in her stomach like a fist. She stopped, watched butterflies flicker, listened to birds chirping. The strong sun warmed her skin, but inside she was so very cold.
What else could we have done? she asked herself, shivering with a grief that wasn't her own, yet was stunningly real. What else was there to do?
Opening her hand, she let the flowers fall in the meadow grass at her feet. The tears stinging her eyes left her shaken, baffled. As carefully as a soldier in a minefield, she backed away from where her flowers lay in the grass.
Done about what? she wondered, a little frantic now. Where had the question come from, and what could it possibly mean? Then she turned, taking slow, deliberate breaths, and left the meadow behind.
All those strong, confusing emotions faded so that she began to doubt she'd ever felt them. Perhaps it was just that she was a little lonely, or that it was lowering to realize she wasn't a woman to gather wildflowers or walk in meadows.
She was a creature of books and classrooms, of facts and theory. She'd been born that way. Certainly she'd been raised that way, uncompromisingly. The brilliant child of brilliant parents who had outlined and dictated her world so well, and for so long, that she was fully adult before she thought to question and rebel. Even in such a small way.
And the life she wanted to create for herself was still so foreign. Even now, she was thinking of going back, of keeping to her timetable, of sitting down with her equipment. No matter that it was something out of the ordinary that she intended to study, it was still studying.
Damn it.
Jamming her hands in her pockets, she deliberately turned away from the direction that would take her back to the inn. She would have her walk first, she ordered herself. She'd pick more wildflowers if she wanted to. Next time, she'd take off her shoes and walk in the meadow.
She was muttering to herself when she saw the cows, bumping together under a three-
sided shed that was attached to the milk barn. Didn't cows belong in the fields? she wondered. There were so many of them crowded together there, munching on what she supposed was hay or alfalfa.
Curious, she walked closer, keeping some distance only because she wasn't entirely sure cows were as friendly as they looked. But when they didn't seem the least concerned with her, she moved closer.
And heard him singing.
"One for the morning glory, two for the early dew, three for the man who stands his ground and four for the love of you..."
Delighted with the sound, Rebecca moved to the doorway and had her first glimpse of a milking parlor.
Whatever she'd imagined, it wasn't this organized, oddly technical environment. There were big, shiny pipes and large chutes, the mechanical hum of a compressor or some other type of machine. A dozen cows stood in stanchions, eating contentedly from individual troughs. Some of them munched on grain as devices that looked like clever octopuses relieved them of their milk.
And Shane, stripped down to one of those undeniably sexy undershirts, a battered cap stuffed onto all that wonderful, wild hair, moved among them, still singing, or dropping into a whistle, as he checked feed or the progress of the milking machines.
"Okay, sweetie, all done."
Caught up in the process, Rebecca stepped closer. "How does that work?"
He swore ripely, bumping the cow hard enough to have her moo in annoyance. The look he aimed at Rebecca was not one of friendly welcome.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sneak up on you. It's noisy." She tried a smile, and forced herself not to take a step in retreat. "I was out walking, and I saw the cows out there, and I wondered what was going on."
"The same thing that goes on around here twice a day, every day." It was an effort for him to readjust himself. He'd planned to avoid her for a few days, but here she was, pretty as a picture with those big, curious eyes, right in his milking parlor.
"But how do you manage it all by yourself? There are so many of them."