SEAL Do Over (A Standalone Navy SEAL Romance) (SEAL Brotherhood, 6)

by Ivy Jordan

  Luke sat down beside me, his hand reaching under the table for mine. I let him take it, feeling the warmth of his skin and the comfort of his touch.

  Alyssa made me a cup of coffee and a plate of pancakes, then slid the mug and plate in front of me.

  “Thank you,” I forced a smile, fighting off the anxiety that was rolling through my veins. Breathe. Just breathe.

  “How are you doing this morning?” Theo asked, his eyes pushing into mine with concern.

  “I’m okay,” I smiled faintly.

  “I heard there was quite a ruckus here last night,” Theo added.

  A ruckus, sure. I poked my pancakes with the fork, cutting off a small bite. I was starving, but it felt like everyone was staring at me.

  Alyssa’s hand rested on my shoulder as she leaned to whisper in my ear, asking me if I needed anything. I shook my head, smiling up in her direction. Her dark eyes were so kind, so easy to look at that it was hard to look away.

  “I assume Damien is locked up for good now,” Theo stated, his comment not really directed at anyone.

  “He won’t be a problem again,” Luke answered sternly.

  I knew what that meant. He wouldn’t be locked up for good. I stared towards Luke, his eyes locked onto mine.

  “I’ll need you to come into the office, Candace. A full checkup is required to work on the ranch,” Theo smiled.

  I nodded.

  My hands wrapped around the warm coffee mug and brought it towards my lips. I was engulfed with a feeling of belonging, but also a strange guilt that I didn’t deserve it.

  “Tom said you’re doing a wonderful job with the horses,” Theo grinned.

  “He’s teaching me a lot,” I admitted, my voice soft and barely heard.

  Theo nodded, slapped Liam on the back, and then reached across the table to shake Luke’s hand.

  “I’ll check in with you tomorrow. Candace, don’t forget about stopping by for that appointment whenever you’re ready. Alyssa, nice meeting you, and thank you for a wonderful breakfast,” Theo said, and with that, he was gone.

  It was a relief, having him gone from the overcrowded kitchen. Luke was watching me from across the table. I wasn’t sure what he was looking for, waiting for, or expecting from me. I shoved a bite of pancake in my mouth as Liam took his attention.

  The men left the kitchen, walked outside, and their voices were muffled as they spoke about something they obviously wanted to keep private. Everything felt surreal, like I hadn’t woken up from a dream.

  Alyssa sat across from me, taking the seat that Luke abandoned. Her smile was warm, her eyes filled with kindness, and her silence a blessing.

  I took a few more bites of the pancake and then pushed the plate away.

  “Your appetite not there?” Alyssa asked.

  I shook my head. It wasn’t. That feeling in my stomach must not have been hunger, but possibly a sickness from the night’s events.

  “Luke is going to make sure you’re safe,” Alyssa stated.

  “I know,” I admitted.

  “So, you’ll be staying on here, working in the barn?” Alyssa asked.

  It felt like small talk, like a distraction from the elephant in the room, the one that was about to have a seat on my chest.

  I nodded.

  My face must’ve oozed stress, because Alyssa moved to the chair beside me, reached under the table and took my hand in hers. “You know, all this will get easier,” she assured me.

  I wasn’t sure if it would or wouldn’t. I hadn’t had a normal life, not like hers, like Luke’s. I didn’t know where to fit in, or even if I could.

  “Are you scared?” she asked.

  My bottom lip started to tremble, and tears formed in my eyes. I was scared. I didn’t want to admit it, but I was.

  Alyssa’s arms wrapped around me, squeezing me tight. “He’s not coming back. Luke won’t let him,” she said.

  “Luke can’t protect me forever,” I sighed.

  Alyssa pulled back and looked me directly in the eyes. I wiped the tears that remained on my cheeks and tried to form a smile.

  “I’ll be okay. It’s just a shock, that’s all,” I sniffled.

  “I know it is. But I think Luke is in this for the long haul,” Alyssa giggled.

  “He has his own life. I don’t want to be a burden to someone or have them feel the need to protect me,” I sighed.

  “I doubt very much he sees you as a burden, and either way, it’s his decision what he wants for his life,” Alyssa smirked. “I dated a man before Liam that was mean, and I was scared too, not just of him, but of Liam feeling the need to protect me.”

  I looked into her eyes, discovering a connection with her I’d never thought I’d find.

  “Things have a way or working out, and many times, things happen so that certain things will work out,” Alyssa smiled.

  “Thank you,” I blushed at her kindness.

  “What are you two gossiping about in here?” Liam teased as he walked into the kitchen.

  Luke walked in after him, his eyes heavy on mine, filled with concern. I didn’t want him to worry about me. I hated that his life was put on hold to deal with mine.

  “You need to come to visit. You could meet Holly. You both could come, get away from this place for a weekend,” Alyssa gushed.

  “That’s sweet, but I’m not sure,” I stammered.

  “I’d love to,” Luke boasted.

  Alyssa reached around me, hugging me tightly.

  “If you change your mind, you’re always welcome,” she whispered in my ear.

  Liam took her place, hugging me with a thick-armed embrace. His muscles were larger than Luke’s, resembling a bodybuilder. I didn’t like the way they felt around me, too hard, too tense.

  “Let us know when Damien goes to court. We will be there with you,” Liam said softly, and then surprised me with a gentle kiss on the cheek.

  These people were so kind, so generous with their affections that it made me uncomfortable.

  Luke walked with Liam and Alyssa as they made their way to the front door. They stood in the doorway talking for a few minutes, and then they were gone, leaving me alone with Luke.

  “So, you going to see the doc?” Luke asked, leaning against the door frame of the kitchen.

  His thumbs tucked into his front jean pockets, leaving his remaining fingers dangling out. He wore a tight t-shirt, wrinkled from where he held me all night on the couch. I still couldn’t believe this was the boy I loved. He was a man now. His rugged features were softened by his warm blue eyes and kind smile, but there was something sexy about him, something manly, strong, and safe.

  “Yes,” I replied.

  I knew he was fishing for more. He wanted to know if I planned on staying, but staying for now was all I could commit to.

  “Good,” he smirked.

  “Thank you for everything,” I sighed.

  “Like I said before, there’s no need to thank me,” Luke replied.

  A knock on the door interrupted our conversation. He looked aggravated as he leaned back to peek at the door.

  “It’s Lyla,” he sighed.

  He opened the door, and she rushed in, immediately taking a seat beside me. Her eyes were wide and eager to see that I was safe, that I was okay. She didn’t speak at first but took a deep breath as she stared into my eyes. A smile appeared on her face, and she stared up at Luke.

  “Thank you for keeping her safe, Luke,” she said.

  Luke nodded, an irritation notable in his expression.

  “I bet you’re ready to get home and shower, maybe rest,” Lyla said, her eyes staring into mine.

  A shower sounded amazing. I was still wearing clothes from the previous day. I’d brought all my things to Lyla’s when I left Luke’s, so even if I wanted to shower there, it would be like the first day. I’d have to borrow his sweatpants, use his manly body wash, and brush my teeth with my finger.

  I nodded. “I really want to get to the barn, back to work
.”

  “Let’s get you home,” Lyla said, standing and staring at me with anxiousness.

  “You’re welcome to stay here, as long as you want,” Luke said.

  My heart was torn.

  Lyla waited somewhat impatiently while I gathered my thoughts. Luke leaned his back against the counter, his frame tall and muscular.

  Sleeping in his arms was the best sleep I’d ever had, but it wasn’t fair to him to be on watch all the time. Damien was in jail, this time in a place where he couldn’t escape.

  “Thank you, but I do want a shower and to change out of these clothes,” I explained.

  Luke’s eyes filled with disappointment, and it was easy to see he wanted to argue the situation, but he didn’t.

  Lyla took my hand and guided me towards the door. As she was ushering me out of Luke’s cabin, I stopped, turned, and rushed into his arms. His heart beat fast, his breath warm against my cheek, and his arms strong and safe. I felt like I was home.

  “We better go,” Lyla rushed.

  I pulled back, looking up into Luke’s blue eyes. He looked like he was about to cry. I’d never seen a man cry before. Something strange happened in my heart. It ached and tightened in my chest, but it wasn’t the elephant. It was something else.

  Chapter 25

  Luke

  Work kept me busy all weekend, catching up on time lost. The boys I worked with helped out on Sunday, all eager to hear the story where I took down the bad guy. Normally, I’d be flattered by their interest, probably even bragging a bit about the ordeal, but I hadn’t seen Candace since Lyla took her away from me Friday morning, and all I could think about was that hug.

  Monday morning, I sat in the lobby of Lyla’s office, waiting to have my monthly evaluation completed. My heart raced and my blood boiled at the thought of dealing with her. I was angry. She took Candace away like she knew what she needed better than I did. She needed to feel safe, and I could offer that. She needed someone she could trust, and I was that person. She needed something familiar, and I was that, too.

  As my mind swirled with thoughts of irritation, the door opened, and Lyla said her goodbyes to an older gentleman, one I hadn’t met with yet myself. He smiled and nodded towards me as he left the office, and Lyla waved me towards her open door.

  I grumbled as I stood, but mustered up a smile as I walked past the slender, overly-conservative woman that took Candace from me.

  “How are you doing today?” Lyla asked, walking around to the backside of her desk.

  I took the only chair available, hard and informal. I squirmed until I found a spot that was comfortable and smiled in her direction as warmly as I could.

  “I’ve been better,” I admitted.

  “I can imagine that the past weeks have been hard on you,” Lyla stated.

  “The past few days more so than the rest,” I grumbled.

  I noticed Lyla’s hands fold together, her lips tighten into a straight firm line, and her eyes shift from mine to the paperwork in front of her.

  I reached up, scratching at my neck and squirmed in the hard chair again. I wanted this to be over.

  “I notice your scars are bothering you again,” she pointed out.

  I shrugged. “Seems to be worse when I’m stressed.”

  “I see.” Her lips formed another tight line.

  “How’s Candace doing?” I asked.

  “You know I can’t discuss her mental health with you,” Lyla stated firmly.

  I stared at the floor, trying to hide the disappointment, the anger that was surely showing through in my expression.

  “But she is fine,” Lyla added, giving me at least something to ease my stress.

  “Thank you,” I looked up.

  “You have strong feelings for her,” she noted.

  I shrugged again. “I’ve known her most my life.”

  “You knew her when you were young. When you were both in a foster home close to here,” Lyla stated.

  I nodded.

  “But she took off, and you hadn’t had any contact with her until she showed up in the road that night, right?” Lyla pushed.

  “I guess so,” I nodded, not sure what she was getting at.

  “You remember her as a girl, but a lot of things have changed in her life since then. You’re not the same as you were, are you?” she asked.

  I shrugged. That seemed to be the only thing I could do.

  “Had you thought about her, before that night you found her?” she asked.

  I nodded, swallowing hard.

  “At one point, it was every day, but the last several years, not as much, but still pretty often,” I admitted.

  “You never got over her leaving you,” she suggested.

  “She didn’t leave me; she left that horrible home,” I snapped.

  “But she didn’t tell you or give you the chance to protect her.” Lyla added.

  “I could’ve protected her,” I insisted firmly.

  Lyla smiled in my direction, her eyes filled with empathy.

  “So, you want to protect her now. She needs to learn how to do that herself,” Lyla stated.

  “I realize that,” I scoffed.

  “Do you want a relationship with her now?” Lyla asked.

  I did. More than anything, I did.

  “I don’t know. I’m not sure what she wants,” I said instead of stating the entire truth.

  “I don’t want your hard work to be for not. If she rejects you again, or leaves, do you feel you can handle it?” Lyla asked.

  What kind of question was that? She never rejected me; she just left.

  “I just want her to be happy and safe,” I replied.

  “And, if you don’t end up together?” Lyla asked cautiously.

  “Are you telling me to back off?” I questioned, curious as to where this was leading.

  “Not at all. On the contrary, I think if you have feelings for her, you should explore them, not as rekindling something from the past, but starting something fresh,” Lyla suggested.

  I looked into her eyes trying to read her. Did Candace say something to her about feelings she had for me? I knew I couldn’t ask. Well, I could, but she wouldn’t tell me. She was right. Start fresh. I didn’t know Candace, at least not the woman she’d become.

  “We’re having lunch today,” I mentioned.

  “Can I suggest something?” Lyla asked.

  Her demeanor had changed, or mine had. I no longer felt the anger from when I first walked into her office, and she seemed to be helping rather than hindering my situation with Candace.

  “Yes, please,” I eagerly replied.

  “Candace has never experienced a normal relationship. She’s never dated, had options, or formed her own opinions on what was best for her. Maybe a date, a proper one, would be best,” she smiled.

  “I’ll ask her today again since the first one never happened.” I questioned.

  “Just make sure you let her know and make her feel as though she has options, such as saying no,” Lyla noted.

  “Okay,” I grinned, feeling a new hope in my heart.

  “I’ll leave you two alone for lunch today,” Lyla winked as she got up from her chair.

  She walked towards me as I stood, extending her hand for me to shake. I pulled her into me, squeezing her thin frame with a bear hug, and then let out a deep sigh. She screeched as I gripped her, her body going from tense to limp within my grip. When I released her, she was blushing.

  “That was unexpected,” she gasped.

  “You’re a smart woman, and I just appreciate the hell outta’ ya,” I beamed.

  I opened the door, let myself out, and walked on air all the way to my truck.

  I whistled at work, something the boys noticed right away. They noted my sudden mood change and worked me on what had happened. I wouldn’t budge, knowing that Candace could still say no. I didn’t want to look like a fool in front of the guys I was trying to help, so I just told them my back finally quit hurting, someth
ing I’d never complained about before.

  When lunchtime rolled around, my gut was twisted upside down. I’d already asked Candace for dinner before Damien escaped, and she’d said yes, but this was a date, not just getting her away from the ranch. I wanted to dress up, to bring her flowers, pick her up, and show her just how romantic I could be. This was different, and the thought of being told no was making me sick.

  I remembered what Lyla said. I had to make sure Candace knew she had options and that she didn’t owe me anything. How the fuck was I going to do that?

  I parked my truck in front of the barn, stared out my windshield at the beautiful Candace sitting on the picnic table bench, and felt my heart pound hard against my chest. She was holding something wrapped in a blanket, her attention directed to whatever creature it was, so I stayed in my truck, staring, admiring, and hoping.

  Candace looked up and quickly waved me over with a smile. I jerked the keys from the ignition and climbed out of the truck, my knees weak as they straightened to hold me upright.

  The sun beat down on Candace, leaving a beautiful glow to her blonde hair and adding a touch of color to her skin. Her frail frame was no longer covered in bruises to mark Damien’s abuse, and there was once again life in her eyes.

  “Who’s this?” I asked, leaning over her shoulder to the covered creature.

  “Arnold,” she said proudly, showing me the baby pig she nursed with a bottle.

  I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. There was something so wonderful about her, so exciting, that she filled me with adrenaline.

  “Well, I guess an extra guest for lunch is a good thing,” I smiled as I took my seat across from her.

  “Oh no, he’s not staying. If you’ll get everything ready, I’ll put him back with his momma and wash up,” Candace smiled.

  I watched her walk away, and a gracefulness about her that I hadn’t noticed before struck me. I took a deep breath, assured myself I could handle it if she said no, or if she wasn’t ready. The last thing I wanted to do was push.

  The picnic basket was filled with small sandwiches, chips, dip, and two bottles of Coke. I emptied it out, spreading the lunch on the table just as Candace returned.