by Penny Dee
“Indy . . .” he rasped desperately.
“Let me do this,” I whispered. I shifted restlessly, driven by the throb between my legs. Cade started to rock against the motion of my hand, his breathing heavy, his tortured moans strangled in his throat.
“Oh, baby . . .” He brought his hand up to cup my jaw and kissed me urgently. He rocked his hips and we fell into an erotic synchronicity. His breathing came hard and I had to clench my thighs together to stop the throbbing there.
“I’m going to come.” He breathed out the warning against my lips. He moaned and I felt him pulse beneath my fingers as a warm liquid shot onto my hand.
Watching him come brought me close to my own climax. The look on his face. The rasp of his moans. It turned me on more than I could have imagined. I wanted him. I wanted all of him.
Forever.
Two nights later, I lay beneath him, my body tight with desire as he kissed me hard. Things were getting out of control. Our kissing was fierce. Cade moved against me, pressing his pelvis into mine as his desire increased. I shifted beneath him, moaning at the sensation of his zipper rubbing against my panties. I was so turned on I was desperate to take things to the next level.
“Make love to me,” I breathed desperately between kisses.
Cade’s denim-covered erection ground into me. But he said nothing. He just kept kissing me.
“Please . . .” I begged.
He pulled back. His blue eyes dark as they roamed my face.
“It’s a big move,” he breathed.
“I know that,” I replied.
I felt him throb against my panties.
“I’m ready,” I urged.
Cade frowned. “You want to do it now? Don’t you want something a little more special? Something planned?”
I dragged his hand between us and guided his fingers beneath my panties. When he felt how wet I was, his face shimmered with need.
“Oh God,” he rasped.
“Yes, I want to do it now,” I said. “And yes, I want to do it with you.”
His fingers began to slide through slick skin and I moaned. When he pushed one into me, my automatic reaction was to clamp down around it, and a tremor ran through him.
“You’re so tight,” he whispered with a tortured moan.
I began to move so my clit rubbed against his knuckles. Everything felt so incredible. I moaned and found his mouth again, kissing him hard.
When he tried to pull his hand away, I held it in place.
He broke away from our kiss. “Indy . . . I want you to think about this.”
“I have and I know what I want.” I sighed and released his hand, giving up. “Do you do this with all the girls you make love to? Try to talk them out of it?”
“This is different,” he said.
“Why?”
“Because you’re different,” he said. When I frowned, he sighed. “I didn’t love them. But I’m in love with you.”
My heart sang. “You love me?”
He smiled and those two beautiful dimples appeared either side of his mouth. “Insanely so.”
His fingers found me again and I began to move against him. But this time I reached for his zipper, and this time he didn’t stop me. When I touched him, he shivered and began grinding against my palm. Our breathing became heavy. The tension in our bodies coiled and tightened, making us restless, making us move impatiently against one another as we both raced toward our orgasms. We were past the point of no return, and I gave into the sensations crashing through me. Our eyes met as we brought each other to a climax. I clenched around his finger and moaned softly as a bliss so warm and sweet descended on me. I felt him tense up, felt his abs go hard and his breathing ragged, heard him moan into my neck as he spilled his warmth onto my hand. I trembled against him, my heart pounding in my chest as the throb and ache between my thighs slowly eddied away.
Cade kissed me hard. “That was insane,” he panted, his chest rising and falling.
“Now will you make love to me?” I asked.
He looked down at me, his eyes filled with immense tenderness.
“After graduation,” he said. “Because I don’t care what you say, baby, we gotta make it right for your first time.”
INDY
Now
I woke up in the clubhouse with Abby sound asleep next to me. We were in Griffin Calley’s room. He very rarely stayed at the clubhouse, so Abby crashed there whenever there was a party. Feeling foggy from too much wine, I went in search of coffee. My head was pounding and my mouth felt like cotton, and if I didn’t get some caffeine into me soon, there was a good chance I would start swinging.
Red was busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast, and when he saw me he smiled.
“Coffee?” he asked, handing me a cup.
“Please.” I accepted it gratefully and took a seat at the bar. Red made good coffee. It was strong. The perfect elixir to my hangover. With my head in my hands, I stared into the rich, dark liquid as I tried to collect my thoughts.
Today was my last day in Destiny. Tomorrow I would fly home to Seattle. Back to my old life. Back to everything that was safe and familiar.
It was the sensible thing to do.
A petite girl in too-tight jeans and a barely there midriff top came over to me. “Can I get you some breakfast, Indy?”
She was attractive. Young. Eager. I felt that familiar pang in the pit of my stomach. There was no shortage of that around here. No shortage of temptation for the guys, married or not.
“No, thank you.”
“Are you sure? It’s really no problem.”
“I’m good.”
But for some reason, she wouldn’t let it go.
“I’m happy to fix you a plate.”
And it rubbed me the wrong way.
“I’m not hungry,” I replied sharply.
Abby appeared beside me. She gestured for the girl to leave with a nod of her chin and the girl scooted away.
“You sure you ain’t hungry? ‘Cos you’ve got an attack of the hangries, if ever I’ve seen them,” she said, sliding into the chair next to me.
“Hangries?”
“You’re angry because you’re hungry. Hangry.”
I stared into my coffee. “If I want something to eat, I can get it myself.”
“Sure.” She crossed her arms and leaned them on the table. “But whether you like it or not, Indy, you’re MC royalty around here. You’re the granddaughter of an original, and the love interest of fucking Cade Calley. You’re the original wild child whose ghost has lingered in this clubhouse for the past twelve years. You’re legendary around here.”
I glanced at her. “You sound like my personal cheer squad.” She gave me a pointed look and I sighed. “It just gets to me, okay.”
“What?”
“All the girls.” I took a sip of my coffee. “All the temptation for the guys.”
She scoffed. “You talk like this is your first rodeo. This is club life, Indy.”
“Doesn’t mean I have to like it.”
“No. But you don’t have to hate on it so much. These girls, they’re not the enemy. We women stick together.”
She was right. Apart from a few undesirables, a la Genevieve, there had always been a strong sisterhood in the club.
I felt bad for snapping at the girl. I would make sure I apologized to her on the way out.
I shrugged. “Anyway, you’re wrong. I’m not Cade’s love interest. I’m not Cade’s anything. Tomorrow I fly home.” Even as I said it, my heart skipped. Tomorrow this would all be over and I could resume my old life back in Seattle.
But even as I thought it, my chest felt tight. Because no matter how I decided to spin it, leaving was going to be hard.
INDY
Now
It was my last night in Destiny and the Kings of Mayhem MC decided I needed to be sent off in style.
In big, bad, biker style.
They were going to host a party fit for a princess.
With a live band and a barbecue. And sexy pole dancing triplets grinding their stuff to Kid Rock’s “Cowboy.”
And you know what, I kinda loved it.
Two weeks earlier I would’ve hated it. But now that the pole had been successfully extracted from my ass, I could breathe and be myself again.
I saw Cade as soon as I got to the clubhouse. We were both walking in at the same time and stopped when we saw each other. We hadn’t spoken since the night before when we’d danced together and he’d held me tightly in his arms and told me he wanted to kiss me.
After finding him with Cora down by the beach I had left the wedding. I had taken a half-full bottle of wine from one of the reception tables and sat on the rooftop of the clubhouse looking up at the stars, trying to get my thoughts straight.
Now things were weird between us. He didn’t know that I’d seen him with Cora. He didn’t know that I’d seen the way she had slid her legs on either side of his hips and grinded against him as she kissed him passionately. He didn’t know that I’d heard the things he had said to her.
“Hey,” I said cautiously. Things were tense.
“Hey,” Cade replied.
He looked preoccupied. Distant. His brow furrowed.
“I’m sorry I skipped out early last night,” I said. “I just needed some time out, you know? Some breathing space. I think too much wine might have had something to do with it.”
I tried to lighten the moment. But Cade was beyond that.
“It’s okay,” he said, his eyes dark. “I shouldn’t have said what I said.”
He towered over me and I could feel the power of him radiating around me. I could also feel his sadness.
“I saw you,” I said calmly. “With Cora.”
His eyes darted to me. “Nothing happened.”
“I know.” I smiled, hoping he would smile back, but he didn’t. “You were very sweet to her.”
When I’d discovered Cade and Cora kissing at the river’s edge it had taken me a moment to realize what was happening. In a glance, it looked like two people making out. But as I watched, I realized it was Cora doing all the kissing and Cade trying to fend her off. He’d peeled her off him and held her at arm’s length as he let her down gently. When she started to cry and question if she was pretty enough, he had tenderly lifted her chin.
“You’re beautiful. And I’m a lucky man to have a stunning woman want to be with me. Any man would be, Cora. But I’m in love with someone else. Whole-heartedly.”
Cade folded his arms across his chest. “What did you see?”
“You were a gentleman,” I said. “You let her down gently.”
He shrugged. “She was drunk. She would’ve regretted it in the morning.”
“You’re just being modest. Cora has a crush on you.”
“Yeah, well.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s not the one for me.”
Awkwardness hung between us.
“Cade—”
“Listen, Indy,” he cut me off gently. “You’ve made it real clear we’re done. I want you to be happy. And if Anson makes you happy, then I can’t ask for anything more.”
I didn’t know what to say. It felt like something broke inside of me.
“You have a fiancé,” he said. “And just because I hate everything about what that means, it doesn’t mean I won’t respect it. Just . . . I don’t need to see it anymore.”
He walked away, and another part of me collapsed in on itself.
I didn’t want Cade to walk away from me.
But what did I expect? I’d said goodbye to him by fucking him. Then I’d kept him at arm’s length by lying to him about a fiancé.
I had gotten what I’d asked for.
He was done.
I fought back tears as I watched him disappear inside the clubhouse.
Isaac came up to me and put his arms around my neck. “I’m going to miss you when you leave, woman.”
I had to blink to keep my tears away. I was going to miss him, too.
“It won’t be like before, I promise. I’ll be back more often.” My throat tightened with emotion because I knew coming back would be hard. Leaving tomorrow would mean giving up Cade for good.
“Hey, who is that?” I asked, nodding to a young man arriving on a mint green Vespa. I was trying to change the subject so I didn’t ugly cry in the middle of the MC compound.
Isaac released me to light a cigarette.
“That cool cat is Reuben. He’s not a club member in the traditional sense. He is more of an . . . adoption.” He drew on his cigarette and released a breath of smoke.
“An adoption?”
“Reuben doesn’t play well with others,” he explained. “I’m not sure he’s wired right. He just likes to hang out, and we like his company. So, we’ve welcomed him to the family.”
Reuben looked like Finch from American Pie and, according to Isaac, they had a similar personality and style. While his friends drank beer from red plastic cups, Reuben drank whiskey from a tumbler. When his friends drove American heavy metal classics like Dodge, Ford, and Chevy, Reuben got around in his mint green Vespa. While his friends preferred the more casual look of jeans, tees, and a cut, he chose dress pants, button-up shirts, and a bowtie. He walked to the beat of his own drum and didn’t care what anyone thought about it.
According to Isaac, Reuben was his own story. He was particular. Precise. He liked things a certain way and would make no apologies for changing things until they were exactly how he liked them.
He was also lethal.
Or, so it was rumored.
“Once, we were driving past the skate park and Reuben spotted some guy mistreating his dog. We pulled into the parking lot and confronted him. Poor dog, it was terrified of this loser. I told the guy I was going to take that dog off him, but the sonofabitch pulled a gun on me, pressed it against my forehead, and told me he was walking away with it.
Two days later, that motherfucker washed up on the riverbank with a gunshot wound under his chin. That’s Reuben’s signature. He says he likes to look them in the eye as they are leaving. Psycho sonofabitch.”
“I don’t know what to say about that,” I said. And I truly didn’t. I couldn’t stand animal cruelty, and I believed that the devil kept a special part of hell free for animal abusers, but I also couldn’t condone what Reuben had done, even if it was oddly calming to know that someone so psychopathic could actually be on the side of the good guys.
“Not long after, I visited Reuben at his house and he introduced me to his new dog. It was the same dog from the park. I didn’t ask questions and he didn’t offer an explanation. But I’ll tell you what, that dog fucking loves him.”
Isaac was a good storyteller but was prone to embellishing his tales. I had to take what he was saying with a grain of salt. There probably was a dog. I knew how much of an animal lover he was. But as for a dead body, who knew?
I looked across at Reuben who had taken a seat at one of the barbecue tables with a plate of food. I watched as he unfolded his napkin and placed it across his grey-suited lap, and then straightened his bowtie in the shine of a steak knife.
Yeah, okay. There probably was a body.
I looked at Isaac, who winked back at me.
Ok, maybe there wasn’t.
Isaac left to grab another beer, leaving me alone to take in my surroundings. I watched him walk away, a serene smile on my face as I took it all in. Here, I could be content. With him. With these people. This life. I would be lying if I said this didn’t feel right. That here, amongst the leather and the smoke, and the rumble of Harleys, I felt just as much at home as I did in the gleaming, sterile halls of the hospital. If not more. And because of it, leaving weighed heavily on my chest.
I exhaled deeply in an attempt to steady my feelings.
When the band started to play Lynyrd Skynrd’s “Southern Ways,” the crowd cheered.
I glanced around at my friends, my family, and
couldn’t help but smile.
Everyone was dancing, laughing, and having a good time. Across the makeshift dance floor, Isaac and Cherry joined Caleb and Brandi in dancing to the band, even Grandma Sybil and her boyfriend were breaking out the moves on the dance floor. To the left of the stage, Joker twirled and dipped Abby.
My heart felt light and my smile grew even bigger when I saw little Brax and Vader’s little girl, Shelby, dancing to the music.
Suddenly, tomorrow’s flight seemed too close.
I stood up.
I didn’t want it to end this way.
I scanned the crowd for Cade and found him standing at the bar looking every bit as fuckable as ever as he ordered a drink from Randy. My heart took up a gallop as I approached him.
“Give me one last dance?” I asked.
I offered him my hand.
In that moment, my heart wanted to be free. It wanted to enjoy what it wanted to enjoy.
It wanted him.
One last time.
He looked at my hand and accepted it. “I thought you’d never ask.”
He smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. And when he slid his arms around my waist and pulled me close, I could feel the rapid thunder of his heart. Being this close was heaven. But being this close and not being able to love him was torture.
I held him tight and relaxed into his body, and felt engulfed by everything that was him. His smell. His heat. His strength. His protection.
My walls crumbled away.
“Anson isn’t my fiancé,” I whispered against the warmth of his throat. “In fact, we’re not even together.”
Cade pulled back so fast I almost lost my balance. “What did you say?”
I looked up at him and his beautiful blue eyes roamed my face.
“Anson and me. We’re not engaged. We broke up about eight or nine weeks ago.” I sighed. “Truth be told, we’d broken up a lot earlier than that, we just hadn’t realized it.”
Cade’s smile finally reached his eyes.
“That doesn’t change anything,” I warned him.
But Cade didn’t listen. He simply cupped my face in his big hands and whispered, “You’re wrong, Indy. That changes everything.” And then he kissed me, right there on the dance floor, for the entire club to see.