by Ric Flair
On that tour, my dad worked in matches versus Shawn Michaels, and he was at ringside with Triple H during his World Heavyweight Championship defenses. Since my dad had gone back to WWE, he had become such close friends with them and Batista. He loved working with them too.
I enjoyed hearing about his first trips to Japan during the 1970s, along with familiar names like Dusty and Ricky Steamboat. He talked about going from All Japan Pro Wrestling to New Japan Pro Wrestling and how much fun he had teaming up with Uncle Arn during a New Japan tour. They worked with Sting and a Japanese star named Keiji Mutoh, who my dad explained was also known as the Great Muta. He wore face paint like Sting. I said, “Oh, okay.” I didn’t know the significance of those things the way a dedicated wrestling fan would, but I loved learning about my dad’s career and all the events in his life, especially when they included people I knew. I loved feeling his excitement when he spoke about these experiences. Reider went to Japan to compete in a wrestling tournament when he was a kid. It was awesome that I got to be there now with my dad.
At the WWE shows, I beamed with pride when I heard the reception he received from the Japanese audiences. I didn’t realize how special that was until he told me that normally Japanese crowds are silent for most matches in comparison to North American and European audiences. He said that when a lot of wrestlers go to Japan to perform for the first time, they think they’re doing something wrong, because the crowd gives a minimal reaction at best.
Another memorable experience was going into the Roppongi section of Tokyo. Just like when I went on the European tour, he let me go out after the show. I had such fun hanging out with everyone: Victoria, Torrie Wilson, Rey Mysterio, and Undertaker. And once again, I could not have felt safer. It was like being somewhere with my mom and dad with just more eyeballs watching out for me. The time went by so quickly. I think Undertaker felt it was time to call it a night, and before I knew it, I was in a cab with him and Rey Mysterio. I can still see the taxi driver’s white gloves on the steering wheel during our trip back to the hotel.
The next morning, we were off to Alaska. I stayed at the hotel, but I knew that if the Heartbreak Kid against the Nature Boy was anything like what I’d seen in Japan, the fans in Anchorage would be on their feet from the moment the bell rang.
* * *
Once we left Alaska, we made a connecting flight to New York and finally landed in Charlotte. Moving through the airport with my dad was like walking around our house. We knew the best ways to get in and out of the terminals, where to wait at the baggage claim, and the quickest way to get to his car. Going to the airport and flying out of town was as regular for us as people running weekend errands. Traveling had always been a part of our lives.
We talked about the week ahead and everything that was going on. I knew I still had time, but I was counting the days to graduation. I couldn’t wait to start college. I was nervous, but I was excited about the future and how I would do as part of an NCAA Division I volleyball team.
Looking back, my final volleyball season at Providence Day was especially memorable. Everyone loved attending the women’s volleyball games. On game day, the electricity ran through the entire school. The gym overflowed with people—it was like being in a sauna. And the senior fan section created the most raucous atmosphere of all. Opposing teams knew what awaited them when a game at Providence was on their schedule.
There was nothing like feeling the rush from a kill at a playoff game, and the best part was having my whole family in the bleachers, cheering me on. It was really rewarding to succeed at such a high level with teammates I worked hard with every day. It was bittersweet. I felt sad knowing that in a few months that chapter would come to a close, but I was energized thinking about the exciting times ahead.
My dad turned onto our block and pulled into the driveway. He stopped there and opened the garage. Before I could ask him what he was doing, he told me that he wasn’t coming into the house. After a few seconds of silence, the only thing I said was “Why?”
He said a lot of things had been going on between him and my mom,1 that he wasn’t leaving Reider and me but leaving my mom, and he’d be back at the house to get his things.
A numbing feeling came over me. I fought back tears, but my eyes began to well up when I asked him questions. “Why? What happened? Why can’t you work it out? Where are you going? What about the rest of the year? What about graduation?” He promised me he’d be there and that everything would work out.
Dad helped me bring my bags into the house. I stood in the kitchen alone. When I asked my mother what was going on, she told me that my dad was leaving her and then said a name I never thought I’d hear again: Tiffany. At that moment, I was transported back to the eighth grade, and everything that happened that day after school. I felt sick.
Questions swirled through my head. How long had this been going on? Was my dad leading a double life? Why didn’t he talk to me about this during our trip? I didn’t know what to think, and—even worse—I didn’t know what to do. The last time I heard that woman’s name, I grabbed the phone from the kitchen counter and called my dad. That night, I got into my car and went to find him.
I scoured south Charlotte and tried to figure out where he had gone. I turned down block after block and rolled at five miles per hour. I looked in people’s front windows and driveways. I went through the neighborhoods that surrounded his gyms. This went on for hours. I must’ve gone through a quarter of a tank of gas. Somehow, I found him—well, I found his car. I wrote down the name of the street and the house number. I tried to make sense of what was going on. The thought of driving home and unpacking seemed pointless. The idea of going to school the next day was unbearable.
* * *
The following morning, I felt like I was in a daze. I did things that were part of my routine, but there wasn’t any thought or feeling behind anything. I was just there. For the next two weeks, I came home from school and slept until I had to go to volleyball practice for Charlotte Elite. The thought of moving was overwhelming. Nothing made it better. But I had to pack for my next game.
My team flew to Colorado to play in one of the largest volleyball tournaments in the country. This was the first event that my parents attended as single people; they were no longer husband and wife. To put it mildly, I was off my game. For the first time in my life, I didn’t know how to act toward my parents. Would I hurt my mom if I showed affection toward my dad? Would I alienate my dad if I spent more time with my mom? I didn’t know what was right. It seemed like it was only yesterday that I’d had lunch with them at a café in London. Now that was gone.
Something was wrong. I knew it had to do with my dad leaving, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.2 When I got back home, my mom let me stay home from school for a week. I curled up in my pajamas and watched Sex and the City on DVD. Every episode.
Our home always felt full: full of life, full of energy, full of love. I woke up every day trying to cope with the fact that my father, my hero, wasn’t there, and that this wasn’t like the last time. This time, he wasn’t coming back.
My dad told Reider and me that he was taking us to Los Angeles for WrestleMania 21. He also told me what I suspected, that Tiffany would be joining us. This was the first time I’d be spending time with her. Normally, I’d want to see my dad’s schedule and mark down what things we were doing together. This time, I used his packed schedule to stay more to myself. I didn’t say much during the trip. I know he didn’t do anything deliberately, but it didn’t feel right to see him with someone else, let alone be in her company for several days during a trip. I was in my own world for much of the weekend.
What should’ve been an exciting path to graduation day remained a blur. What I envisioned as one of the most joyous and memorable weeks of my life, my last week of high school, was now filled with uncertainty and sadness. It felt like everything had come crashing down on me.
My dad and I only spoke for a few minutes that week. He said he’d
be at graduation. I knew deep down he would be there, but I felt so unsure of everything. I felt so empty.
* * *
Graduation day arrived. I woke up extra early to do my hair and makeup. My mom came into my bathroom and said how proud she was of me and that no matter what, today was a happy day. I knew my mom, Reider, Grandmommy, and Brittany would be sitting together. I found out the night before that Megan and David would be at graduation with my dad.
During the ceremony, I looked around and tried to see where he and my siblings were. When my name was called to receive my diploma, I wondered if they saw me get it. Earning that diploma was a milestone. I’ll always remember celebrating all my achievements and the incredible friendships I made at Providence High School. It’s a special feeling when you can say you transferred into a school as a tenth grader and by the time you graduated you felt like you had been there all four years.
I hugged friends and people who rotated in and out and took pictures. People were missing: my dad, Megan, and David. They were on the other side of the gym. Tiffany was with them. As the cameras kept clicking, I hoped I’d see my dad, Megan, and David come through the sea of people. As the final photographs were taken, I smiled a little less for each one. I realized they weren’t meeting us. I never saw them. It was the first major event in my life where we didn’t have a photo taken of all of us, together, as a family.
I tried to inconspicuously look around on my way to my mom’s car. I gave one last glance before I got in the backseat. I sat in the car and looked out the window. People were talking in the car, but I just heard noise, like if you put a seashell to your ear. I was in one car, going to dinner at Upstream at Phillips Place with Reider, Brittany, my mom, and our relatives on her side of the family. My dad was somewhere else. He left in a separate car with Megan, David, and someone who wasn’t my mother, someone I only knew by name and face.
I wasn’t sure when I’d see my dad next or what was going to happen to our family. I was still in shock about my parents’ divorce. For the first time in my life, my father and I were traveling in two separate directions.
As we drove out of Providence High School’s parking lot for the final time, I couldn’t help but wonder, Is this how it’s going to be now?
* * *
Right after graduation, my mom took me to the volleyball nationals in Salt Lake City, Utah. When I wasn’t playing volleyball, she made sure we had a good time. But on the court, it was a nightmare. I played terribly. I found myself just going through the motions. I didn’t want to be there. I didn’t care if we won or lost. I begged my mother to let me leave the tournament before it was over. I never left anything early. I was so disappointed in myself, but at the same time, I just wanted to go home.
My focus shifted to the string of graduation parties that went on throughout south Charlotte. When those were over, Reider and I decided that our way of dealing with my parents’ breakup was to keep the party going—literally. Almost every night, our house was the gathering place for our friends. My mom tried to recover from her marriage ending and tried to keep things going as best as she could. I think she figured since she knew we were a good group of kids and things would not go beyond a certain level, the parties were okay—and at least we were home. For those hours, we were distracted, and no one knew it. These were masquerade parties to hide our pain. But at some point, the party had to end.
I saw my dad once that entire summer. We met in the Promenade shopping center parking lot. We talked for about an hour. There were times during that conversation that felt like I was speaking with a stranger. I saw his face and heard his voice more on television at the time—Monday Night Raw, Spike TV, at 9:00 p.m. EST.
The summer flew by faster than any I can ever remember. Before I knew it, I was packing the car with a few final things and getting ready to leave for college. I looked out at the street and back at our house. I couldn’t believe this was really happening.
I gave one last goodbye to Reider and got in the car. He was going to be home for another week. He was finishing high school at Blair Academy in Blairstown, New Jersey. Blair was a highly regarded boarding school with one of the top wrestling programs in the country. Reider felt a lot of pressure to do well in amateur wrestling, but he loved the sport, he loved competing, and he was considered one of the best in his weight class.
My mom pulled out of the driveway, and we started our trip to Appalachian State in Boone, North Carolina. This was different from all the wonderful times we spent talking in the car: no singing along to songs on the radio or talking about what our plans were for the day. I even missed the bickering with my brother.
Since childhood, Reider was always larger than life. No matter how old he was, he was always the hit of the party. He idolized my dad and was just like him: charming, witty, funny, and kind. Reider loved being around people, and people loved being around him. He loved making fun of how I looked when I cried, because it made me laugh. My brother always knew when to be lighthearted and bring humor to a sensitive situation. Reider liked making people feel better when they were upset. If you were Reider’s friend, he’d never leave your side.
I knew I’d miss his imitations of people. He’d quote Grandmommy when she was on my dad’s boat. She’d say, “Precious, there are alligators in that lake.” At the drop of a hat, my brother could go into a perfect rendition of any of the spirited interview segments from my dad and Dusty’s career. His favorites were from the ’80s. I couldn’t guess how many links he had bookmarked on his computer. I’d miss his rendition of Dusty saying, “I have wined and dined with kings and queens, and I’ve slept in alleys and dined on pork and beans.”
The previous summer, my parents had gotten a bill in the mail from the country club. My mother almost flipped out when she saw it was for $5,000 and none of us had been to the club, or so we thought. During the day, my brother went to the club to teach the younger kids how to play different sports. After those sessions, he treated them all to lunch. Every day. My parents were not happy about having to pay the bill, but I knew, deep down, they smiled a little because of why they had to pay it. Classic Reider …
College meant this would be the first time we’d be living apart. I knew we’d talk, Reider would come to visit, and we’d be home together for holidays. Gone were the days of my coming home after school or volleyball and hearing the thunderous sounds of WWE on television, his Guns N’ Roses albums, or scenes from movies like Stand by Me, The Goonies, and The Sandlot. I was really going to miss my brother.
Reider started to have problems dealing with my parents’ divorce. It was hard on everyone. I know it was hard for them too. Everyone experienced it differently. We knew my dad was not gone forever, but it was such a difficult adjustment because we were so close. As a child, you don’t think of yourself as the one who wants better for your parents. That was how we felt. Our mom had a hard time with the separation. We felt that Tiffany was my dad’s focus. For the first time, we didn’t feel close to him the way we always had. I think going to Blair Academy was a good way for Reider to focus on himself.
As we drove to Boone, my mom kept everything upbeat and positive. She wanted to make this a special time for me. She made all the arrangements to move me into my dorm. When we got there, you’d think she was the host of an interior design show. She stayed with me all day. She decorated my entire room so beautifully. If you took a picture of my dorm and didn’t know where it was, you’d think it was a suite at the Ritz-Carlton.
Saying goodbye to my mom was hard. I worried about how she’d be once Reider left for school. She’d be alone in the house. It hurt Reider and me to see my mom in so much pain after her split from my dad.
I didn’t get much sleep that first night in my dorm room. It was difficult adjusting to a new place knowing that this was where I’d be living. I got up the next morning and was excited because there was someone else who was coming to Appalachian State. She was also a new student and a new member of the volleyball team: Britta
ny Zahn.
Brittany played volleyball at the University of Tennessee. Before her freshman year, she suffered a terrible knee injury, tearing her ACL and meniscus. She made a full recovery and returned to her top form. Brittany wasn’t pleased with how things were going at the university. When I committed to Appalachian State, she wanted to transfer there. During the spring, it was confirmed: she was coming to Boone to play on the volleyball team.
I had volleyball practice every day, Monday through Friday. Home games were on Saturday, and we were off on Sunday. Although I had to adjust to the fact that the college game moved much faster than high school, it was great playing on a team with Brittany again. There was a fifth-year senior who played the same position as I did. Some games I’d start. Other games I came off the bench. For the first time in my life, I was sitting on the sidelines. I didn’t like it. You never want to be injured, but when you’re not playing due to an injury, you may be sitting on the bench, but you’re working to make it back on the court.
Splitting time as a freshman, which I knew was common, was a tough pill to swallow. When I was put in the game, I made the most of it and was glad that I played well.
Freshmen, especially members of a sports team, were supposed to live on campus. Brittany was starting her junior year. Her apartment was off campus. I was inside Brittany’s apartment in Mountaineer Village for ten minutes when I decided to move in. It was an unexpected twist of fate that my best friend was now at the same college as I was and also about to become my new roommate!
Somehow, everything from my dorm made it into her apartment. From the time the last bag was unpacked, the fun began.
On Wednesdays, we’d pregame at the apartment and then go to Gino’s Bar in Boone for Karaoke and Club night. We’d have some drinks, and I’d force her to get onstage with me and sing karaoke to Britney Spears songs. I’d joke with Zahn and say she needed to understand that each song from Britney’s catalog could be considered a greatest hit.