by Ric Flair
I realized that even though I left Charlotte, I hadn’t escaped. At that moment, in the hallway, something clicked. I’d had enough. It was time for me to leave this dark period of my life behind for good. I got on a plane and flew back to Tampa. When we talked on the phone, I said something to Riki I should’ve told him a long time ago. It’s one of the most important things I ever said in my life: “I want a divorce.” I wanted to be free from this darkness. I wanted my life back. I was stronger than I realized.
When I look back on my relationship with Riki, it was a toxic relationship that could even have turned fatal. The world revolved around him. Angering him was the worst thing I could do. Even if I knew I was right about something or had the right to ask a question. Even if I wanted to express my feelings—body language turned into words, words turned into rage, and rage turned into violence. It was like I was married to someone who was possessed.
When people are in abusive relationships, they need to be able to recognize warning signs. They need to be able to listen to the people around them who are concerned for their safety and well-being. Screaming at someone or emotionally and physically harming someone is not love. That person must find a way out of the relationship before it’s too late. The abuse doesn’t go away; it only escalates with time.
I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, like I could actually focus on me. I could focus on being healthy in every aspect of my life and pursue this new career with a clear mind.
* * *
Thinking of my first match brings back so many memories. It was in October. I worked with Emma. If I thought I was nervous when Norman Smiley called me into the ring, this was a nightmare. I was trying to follow what was happening. During this time, my trainers gave me strict instructions not to do any of my dad’s moves or mannerisms: no chops, no knee drop, no standing vertical suplex, no figure-four leg lock, and most of all, absolutely no “WOOOOO!”
From day one, Emma was really talented as a performer in the ring. She could work with many different types of opponents, including someone like me, who was learning every minute of the day. Emma did everything for me in that match; she carried me through. I’ll always be grateful to her for that. After our match, some of the guys came up to me and said, “Wow, that was pretty good for your first match.” All I said then was the same thing that I can write now: “Thank you, Emma.”
When I went back to training, I met someone I had only heard about by name and reputation, a new trainer WWE had hired: Sara Amato.
Coach Sara was an amazing wrestler during her career. She was trained by Daniel Bryan and performed all over the world as Sara Del Rey. She was so strong in the ring that she was known as “Death Rey.” Sara’s one of the few women in history who was voted on the PWI 500—a list from Pro Wrestling Illustrated magazine of their top five hundred wrestlers in the world. I knew about her and her reputation as an incredible performer. I was learning new things every day. I knew enough to realize that WWE hiring Sara Amato made a major statement about where female training and in-ring competition were headed.4
To close out the year, I found myself in a match I never envisioned participating in—a Divas Christmas Battle Royal. All the women wore Christmas-themed outfits. I didn’t last long, but any experience I could get in the ring, in front of an audience, was good for me.
* * *
I didn’t expect to find myself in a relationship. I met Tom during his time as a trainee in the developmental program. We were friends and saw one another in groups of FCW people when we were all hanging out. We were both coming from recent relationships. Since we were friends, we agreed to take things slowly, which made sense.
I felt comfortable with Tom because I had seen what he was like while we were both training. I saw how genuinely nice he was to everyone and how well liked he was. I also noticed how well he treated me.
He had been released from his WWE developmental contract when we decided to try dating. He didn’t want to have any downtime, so he started getting himself booked on independent wrestling shows. I continued my progress in WWE developmental.
My family wanted me to come home for the holidays. I missed them very much, but I decided to stay in Florida. For the first time in a long time, I was in a good place. I was happy.
Reider was in a good place too. He kept up his wrestling training and had an opportunity to train in Japan. My dad was going there to work for All Japan Pro Wrestling. Reider was going to train in the All Japan dojo.
I was thrilled for him. When I started in developmental, I was worried that he might not be able to beat addiction. He worked so hard to get better, and he never lost hope.
Reider and I were a lot alike. We loved sports, loved movies, and were very devoted to our family. We were also as close as two people could be, but we also had qualities that made us different from each other.
There was a part of my personality that enabled me to block out critics and use that negativity as motivation to silence them. My brother did that too, but I think sometimes he let criticism bother him personally. It was difficult to be criticized when he was just learning to wrestle and when people said that he wasn’t as good as our dad or that he’d never be our dad. No one claimed he was going to be any of those things. Wrestling was what he always wanted to do. He wanted to train and gain experience by working in matches.
I didn’t know what it was like living in our dad’s shadow like he or my brother David did. No one expected me to get into wrestling. I think there was a part of Reider that hoped my parents would get back together. I was happy that he’d have the opportunity to learn in Japan, a positive environment.
While Reider and my dad traveled to Japan to begin 2013, I kept learning in developmental. I still acted as a ring announcer, and I was performing in more matches during live events. My dad always told me that the best way to learn is to perform in the ring.
I remember when I got to FCW, one of the trainers said in his speech to the class, “Not all of you will make it.” I wanted to continue to learn and continue to improve. I was determined to make it.
It was cool to keep in touch with Reider through social media and email. He was in Japan, and I was in Orlando. I saw all the amazing things he was doing and the great places he was going. I loved the pictures of him during cardio sessions of running up a mountain. Reider didn’t want to be famous. He didn’t want to be known for his last name. He loved wrestling. He wanted to the best at what he did in a profession that had captured his heart and imagination from the time he was a little boy.
When our dad had a blood clot in his leg and couldn’t wrestle, Reider filled in for him. My brother was doing so well that he was back in the ring having matches after five days in the All Japan dojo. His stay in Japan was going to be extended, and he was going on his first All Japan tour.
We’d FaceTime too. Reider looked so good. I could tell he was in such a great place mentally, emotionally, and physically. He loved the Japanese culture. He was honored that the people who ran the dojo made him an instructor and asked him to teach young children the fundamentals of wrestling. This was a wonderful turning point.
During one of our FaceTime sessions, he met Tom. My brother said, “If you hurt my sister, I’ll kick your ass.” Even from the other side of the world, Reider was thinking of me. He was always looking out for me.
I received incredible news at work too. I was selected as one of the trainees to perform in matches at Axxess during WrestleMania 29 week in New Jersey. What made me more excited was that my dad was bringing Reider home to see me perform. It was amazing to think that two years earlier, my brother and I watched our dad become the first-ever two-time inductee to the WWE Hall of Fame. Reider was getting booked on independent shows, and I was a personal trainer who was just asked at dinner why I wasn’t in the business. Now Reider was a part of All Japan. I made steady progress with WWE in the NXT developmental system, and I was having a match at Axxess! I couldn’t wait to see my dad and my brother at W
restleMania.
I knew Reider got back to Charlotte after the long flight from Tokyo. He was excited about seeing my parents and his girlfriend, Whitney, when he was home. Reider and I talked a few times on the phone. He was also looking forward to keeping up his training regimen. Everyone missed him so much. More than that, we were so happy for him—and so proud!
I was home packing. I had an outdoor show the next day at the Miami-Dade fair, which would be my final performance before flying to WrestleMania. I was set to travel the next day with Emma and Mojo Rawley. Tom and I were talking about WrestleMania and my match; I was scheduled to have a match with Paige. I couldn’t wait to work with her. She was so talented in the ring and on the microphone. She was naturally beautiful and had a different type of sex appeal. She was a Diva but could go in the ring with anyone, male or female. I so looked forward to the opportunity to work with her. I was packing my ring gear, an outfit just in case I’d be going to the Hall of Fame at Madison Square Garden, and, of course, getting some clothes together for dinner, because I knew my dad was going to take us out. Tom was so happy for me. We continued our conversation as I walked around and packed.
My phone kept ringing. I ignored it and kept talking to Tom. It rang again. We continued our conversation. It rang again.
Tom said, “Your phone keeps ringing. Can you answer it, please?”
I told him, “I’ll call them back.”
Then my phone signaled that I had a text message. I picked up my phone. It was my dad. It said, “EMERGENCY.” An empty feeling and a terrible pain ran through my body. I knew.
PART III
LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
15
SWEET CHILD OF MINE
Reid was doing so well. I was so proud of him.
March 2013
I opened the door to the hotel room. Reid was in bed. He didn’t respond when I called his name. I knew by looking at him that something was seriously wrong. I ran to the phone, called the front desk, and asked them to call 9-1-1. Then I called 9-1-1. I pleaded with the operator to send an ambulance to the hotel right away. I told him that I was calling from room 617. We needed help as soon as possible. My son was unconscious.
I just wanted to help Reid. I felt powerless. I didn’t know what to do. The ambulance arrived within five minutes, and the EMTs tried everything they could to resuscitate him. After their final efforts failed, I was told something I never thought I’d hear. My son, my youngest child, who was just twenty-five years old, was gone. And I couldn’t get him back.
I kept calling his mother but couldn’t get through to her. The next person I called was Paul. He tried to calm me down and told me he’d do whatever we needed. I hoped Beth would call me back. After I told Paul what happened, I called Ashley. I couldn’t reach her either. Her phone just kept ringing and ringing. I kept calling and calling.
I sent Ashley a text message—“EMERGENCY”—and she called me back.1 I was really concerned about how she would take this news. I felt the same way when I tried contacting Beth. Yes, we were divorced, and yes, our relationship after that had experienced its ups and downs, but we had children together. We were parents together. Reid was our son. We will always share that connection.
How in God’s name did this happen? Reid was with me at dinner, and everything was fine. We went back to the hotel bar to watch the game. He was still drinking water. I went to bed and told him I’d see him in the morning. We couldn’t wait to get on the road for our appearances and to see his sister perform as part of WrestleMania weekend.
I was also worried about Megan and David. All four of my kids were close. When Ashley and Reid were younger, Megan and David watched over them like they were their own kids. Megan and David had families of their own, and those children loved Reid. He was such a sweet, wonderful guy with a heart of gold. How would they deal with it?
We had to face unspeakable tragedy and plan Reid’s funeral. His favorite band was Guns N’ Roses. At the viewing, David put every one of the group’s CDs into Reid’s casket. I put my WWE Hall of Fame ring on Reid’s finger so he could always have it.
* * *
At the funeral,2 our family was supported by so many relatives and friends. Reid was beloved among everyone. I prayed that he knew how much we all loved him. People came from all over the country to be there for us and to celebrate Reid’s life.
I was so grateful for Wendy. She loved Reid like a son. Wendy didn’t leave my side during Reid’s funeral, and Melinda went into attorney mode and handled all business and financial matters. They helped my family any way they could.
I thanked God every minute for bringing Wendy into my life. Wendy was with me when I found Reid in the hotel room. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have been able to act so quickly in calling 9-1-1, and I wouldn’t have been able to make it through the funeral.
I kept replaying our last evening together back in my mind and questioning everything. Why did I bring him home? Why didn’t I just let him stay in Japan? He was doing so well there. I wanted him to be able to come back here and feel good about all his hard work, how well he was doing. I wanted him to feel pride in his accomplishments and enjoy sharing that with the people who loved him.
Did I push him too hard as an athlete? Did I let him see too much of the partying lifestyle? Was I too much of a best friend? Should I have brought myself to do what the experts recommended and administer tough love? Would he still be here if I had?
I’ll never forgive myself for bringing him home. I’ll never recover from not being able to save my son.
How does my family begin to recover from heartbreak like this? How do we pick up the pieces? How do we move on? Where do we go from here?
PART IV
REUNITED
16
BUILDING THE FUTURE: WE ARE NXT
If the match for the NXT Women’s Championship was with anyone else other than Nattie, it wouldn’t mean as much.
One week later …
I was back in Florida. I couldn’t process what happened. My brother, my best friend, was gone. He had his whole life ahead of him. Reider was doing the best he’d ever done. He was the happiest he had ever been. Suddenly, it was over.
In the weeks following Reider’s passing, I was consumed by a sadness I had never felt before. There was something surreal about trying to understand that I’d never see or speak to my brother again. Any time I wanted to text him, send him a direct message on social media, schedule visits with him, or celebrate a moment in our lives … that was never going to happen again. Japan was such a turning point in his life. His future looked so bright. How could he be gone? He was only twenty-five years old.
Seeing my parents and Megan and David suffer such heartbreak was something I never imagined. Then I thought about Reider’s girlfriend, Whitney.
My brother was a ladies’ man. When the phone rang in our house, it was usually a girl calling for him. Even when I was a senior at Providence High School and captain of the volleyball team, I was Reid’s sister. He had many girlfriends. They were all beautiful, wonderful people. Whitney was special.
Whitney was my brother’s girlfriend and his best friend.
She was one of us. She was a Fliehr. Whitney helped Reider apply for jobs, drove him to independent wrestling shows, visited him in rehab—she did it all unconditionally. I felt a bond with her. I always knew that my brother was okay when he was with her.
Whitney visited Reider when he was in Japan. That was the happiest my brother had ever been. He wanted to share the best time of his life with her.
Whitney was so proud of him. Everyone in our family hoped that Reider and Whitney would get married one day.
My mind was flooded with memories of running through Providence Plantation, moving to Piper Glen, our pictures every year on the first day of school, my mom’s family adventures, sushi at Nakato … all the time my brother and I had spent together. How did things change so drastically? My memories almost didn’t feel real. It was like t
hey belonged to someone else.
There will always be a piece of me that is missing. My heart will always beat differently when I go back to Charlotte. It will beat differently for the rest of my life.
When Reider died, WWE was there for me in every way. Hunter was there for me every step of the way too. I could take off as long as I wanted; I could go to WrestleMania as a spectator or I could go to perform; paid grief counseling was available. I had never experienced the kind of support system that Hunter and WWE provided for me. I’ll always remember that.
I chose not to go to WrestleMania in New Jersey. I didn’t want people seeing me perform during an event like Axxess while I was so distraught. But I did decide to go back to work.
My first day back in developmental, Dusty called me into his office. He gave me one of his famous big hugs. He said that what happened to Reider was a tragedy. He let me know that he was there for me. Then Dusty told me something that was very important: I needed to put my big girl pants on and put them on really tight. I was needed here. I needed to get back to work—for me and for my brother.
Dusty always supported me. He always looked out for me. Dusty always believed in me, even if he’d tease me sometimes in front of everyone in promo class for driving around Charlotte in a Land Rover when I was a teenager. He knew that my family had had problems in recent years. I could trust Dusty. He said to me, “There’s a point where you have to let it go, baby. You have to keep pushing forward.”
Dream loved the Fliehr kids, and we loved him.
Dusty was right. I needed to reinvigorate my spirit to live my brother’s dream.