by T. K. Chapin
On our way over to the Wagon Wheel, I pulled into a gas station to fuel up. Leaving her in the truck, I went inside and paid. It was Jack working the counter that morning and when he saw Ally out the window in the truck, he gave me a smile and nod. Jack was a buddy of mine who I played football with back in High School.
“Jack, it’s not like that, she’s just a friend.”
“At eight o’clock in the morning?” He replied with a laugh. “Whatever you say, man.”
Shaking my head, I smiled and paid for my gas before heading back out to the truck. As I put my wallet in the glove box in front of Ally, she asked, “What were you two talking about?”
“He’s an old friend and was thinking we were together,” I replied.
“Why are people like that?” She asked with a slight agitation in her tone. “Two people of the opposite sex can’t just hang out?” She laughed.
“It’s ridiculous for someone to think we were together?” I asked.
“No,” she replied with a laugh. “That’s not a ridiculous idea…” she turned red. “I mean.”
“I get what you are saying. I agree, I think it was more of the eight AM sleepover implication he was getting at,” I replied smiling over at her.
Getting over to the Wagon Wheel that morning, the parking lot only had a couple cars in it.
After we were seated and waiting on our meals to arrive at the table, a familiar face popped out from the kitchen. It was Missy; she looked rather chipper and busy as she rushed around the restaurant doing various tasks. I kept my eyes locked on her as I wondered if she had found out about my dad already. There was no way she had heard the news.
“Who’s that?” Ally asked, joining my gaze at Missy.
“Missy, she’s the owner here. She had a thing with my Dad… I don’t think she knows.”
“She’s far too happy to know. Look at that smile,” Ally replied sadly.
Seeing her come our direction, I mulled around the idea of telling her. I’d hate for her to read it in the paper after I left here. I had to tell her.
“Hey, Dylan, nice seeing you here so early,” Missy said. “Who’s your lady friend?”
“Ally, she’s Jess’s cousin.”
Ally extended a hand and shook Missy’s. “Nice meeting you, Missy?”
“Yes, my name is Marissa, but everyone calls me Missy.” As they released from their handshake, Missy continued, “I heard that guy got out of ICU.”
“Yep. I’m glad that whole thing turned out okay.” I paused for a moment before I blurted out, “We need to talk.”
Missy looked at me, “Oh?”
My words weighed heavily as I said, “Yes…”
Looking into my eyes, she knew instantly. “I can’t, I’m busy,” she said as she began to walk away.
Leaping up from the booth, I chased after her and stopped her. I turned her around, and she began crying into my shoulder as I embraced her with a hug. “He can’t be gone…”
“I’m sorry,” I replied.
As she slowed her crying, she wiped her eyes. “He was just in here a few days ago.”
“Yeah?” I pleaded with my eyes for her to continue.
She nodded. “He was sitting up at the bar drinking a water with lemon, telling me about how sad he was about you and Chris. He had hope still though, like he always did for both of you.”
My eyes watered, but I held back my tears. My father’s disappointment in me stung. He was gone, and I never had a chance to make him proud.
“I’m sorry. I just can’t believe he’s never going to come walking through those doors to come see me again.”
I nodded, but remained silent.
“How’s Chris handling it?” She asked.
Shaking my head, I replied, “He’s missing. He found out before I did and then he up and vanished.”
“He was here last night. I saw him on the surveillance tapes when I reviewed them this morning.”
My heart began to race. Another fight? Is he in jail? “Did he fight?” I asked.
“No. He just sat at the end of the bar, on the last stool, drinking a whiskey on the rocks…” She paused. “I should have known something wasn’t right. He’s usually screaming at the TV when he’s not fist-fighting someone.”
“Missy, we have a delivery you need to sign for in the back,” a guy from the kitchen said, interrupting our conversation.
“I best get going, Dylan. Enjoy your meals. It’s on the house today. Let me know if I can do anything for you boys.”
“Thanks,” I replied.
Returning back to the booth, I sat down with Ally. I took a deep breath in and let the air escape my lips. I was glad he didn’t fight anyone last night, but knowing he was most likely depressed over our father’s passing tore me up inside.
“You okay?” Ally asked.
Nodding, I replied as I watched Missy go into the kitchen, “It’s just hard to see other’s pain, like Missy. I can keep my own self together pretty decently… but to see someone else hurt, kills me. Does that make sense?”
She nodded. “It does. God’s here for you in your time of need. Don’t ever forget that.”
I smiled. “I couldn’t imagine getting through this without God.”
After finishing our breakfast, Ally and I headed back over to my house to see if Chris had come home last night after his visit to the Wagon Wheel. Sure enough, upon arriving, Chris’s car was parked out in the driveway. If I would have just gone home last night, I would have found him, I thought to myself as I shook my head. I was relieved he was safe, but a little irritated with him as I pulled in next to his car.
As I began getting out of the truck, Ally said, “I’ll hang back.”
“Okay, you can get out and go check out my shop or whatever, if you want.”
“I’ll do that. I’m kind of curious where the magic happens.”
I grinned. “It’s nothing fancy. It’s right around the corner of the house in the back.”
“Okay,” she smiled, getting out of the truck. “Good luck with Chris.”
Walking up the front steps of the house, I took a deep breath in as I turned the handle of the doorknob. Coming into the living room, I saw him passed out on the couch with his baseball glove on his chest. Seeing him lying there sleeping, I couldn’t help but be overcome with emotion. He was safe, and the glove made me realize how hurt he was by the loss of our father. He really did care about Dad, even though he was upset and angry with him.
Walking up to the couch, I bent a knee down and said, “Brother.”
He blinked his eyes open and smiled. His smile only lasted for a moment as if he had no memory of yesterday, and then he must have recalled because his smile fell away and was replaced with a frown.
“I never got a chance to make things right with Dad… I thought I had more time,” Chris said, wiping a runaway tear from his watery eyes.
Shaking my head, I replied, “Me too.”
“He’s just… gone? I don’t know how to deal with this, Dylan… I really thought he was lying, I never believed he could die…” Chris said, letting his words trail off. His voice was strained, and lacked hope and strength.
“You got to give it to God,” I responded.
Shaking his head, he sat up on the couch and I sat next to him. “God? You know I don’t…”
“I know, but He’s the only one that can make you feel better. You’re never going to find the peace you are seeking in the bottom of a bottle.”
“I know,” he replied softly. “What’s weird is I don’t feel like I want to fight anymore. It’s almost like all my energy and passion for righting the wrong in the world evaporated.” He relaxed back into the couch. “I work in an hour… and I don’t even care about that.”
“You don’t want to lose your job, Chris,” I replied. “You need that job.”
“Why? What’s the point?” he asked.
Putting my hand on his shoulder, I said, “You already know of your responsibilities, I d
on’t need to list them for you.” I paused for a moment. “You’re pretty broken up about this for someone who wouldn’t even visit Dad.”
He replied, “That’s what hurts the most. I never went and saw him… I was just so angry. Now I’m just left with this empty feeling inside, like something is missing.”
“I know you were angry with him, but you know he was smart.”
“Yeah, so?” he replied.
“He found God at the end of his life, Chris.”
“Yeah, but he just reverted back to his old ways. You saw him in the hospital. He was a jerk, just like before… he didn’t ever change.”
Shaking my head, I replied, “Becoming a born-again Christian doesn’t make you become this perfect and supreme being. It washes the sins away from your life, endows peace, grants you an eternity with God and gives you the Holy Spirit who will help guide your life…”
“I just want this emptiness to go away.”
“Chris that empty feeling inside…”
“Yeah?”
“That’s your need of God. Maybe you didn’t notice it until now, but that’s a need for God we all have. You see, everyone has a God-sized hole in their life and they are trying to fill it. Sometimes that’s with a bottle, sometimes it’s with a big house and fancy cars. Maybe even a relationship, like with a parent. Whatever it is, the satisfaction we all desire in this life doesn’t come from the possessions we have or anything that we can actually do on our own on this earth. It comes from God.”
“I don’t need preached at. If you could just get it through your thick skull that it was me who had the Christian friend when we were kids, you’d realize I never bought into the whole God thing. The only reason why you even became a Christian was because of Andrew, so stop it with God!” Chris replied standing up quickly.
Andrew was Chris’s friend who went to church every Sunday morning, Sunday night and even on Wednesdays. He was the reason I ever found Christ. It was through a summer camp that I accepted Jesus as my Savior. Andrew invited Chris and myself along one summer when we were ten years old and ever since then, I’ve been a dedicated follower of Jesus.
“We’re out of milk. I’m going to get a gallon at the corner store and I’ll be back in a minute, but I gotta head out to work soon.” Chris kept his eyes down as he stepped out the front door and left. His pain was written all over his face. He was searching for a comfort that wasn’t going to come from any source outside of God. The hardest part was knowing the truths and peace of God, while I watched my brother struggle against it. He might have lost his desire to fight, but there was a spiritual battle raging inside of him. I could see it in his eyes and feel it with his words; I only could hope the outcome would result in God winning.
I stood up and peered out the window as Chris pulled out of the driveway. I was worried about him more than ever, so I lowered my head and said a prayer for him.
Ally came walking in the front door as I concluded my prayer. She asked, “How’d that go?”
“It went as expected. I tried sharing God a little with him and he almost seemed interested, but got uncomfortable and peaced out.”
Ally nodded. “It’s sad how this world needs God so badly, but they just refuse to acknowledge Him. I hope he comes around, Dylan, I really do. I don’t mean to change the subject on you so quickly, but my curiosity is getting the better of me. Can you answer me a question about one of the tools I found?”
“Sure,” I replied with a smile. Ally’s request was a pleasant distraction. We ventured outside and to the shop. Coming inside, she led me over to my workbench and picked up my story stick.
“This thing,” she said turning around with it dangling between her fingers. “It looks like a ruler, but it’s not… and there are little pieces of metal sticking out of it.”
Nodding, I replied, “That’s a story stick. You know how table legs all match?”
“Yeah, what about it?” She asked.
“Come see,” I said, taking the story stick, we went over to the tables I had been working on for the Silverback and I pushed the stick up against a leg. “They all match because of this story stick. I make it after I craft the first leg.”
“Interesting,” she said, smiling as she bent down next to me to look at the table leg. Her closeness was comfortable, and I could smell the perfume she had on. Rubbing her thumb against the table leg, she let her thumb drag across the grooves slowly. “It’s so perfect.”
Nodding, “It’s by design. Kind of like how the world started out.”
She smiled and rose to her feet. I stood up with her and she glanced over all the tables in my shop. “You sure have a lot of tables.”
“Yeah, I’m obsessed with tables.”
“Why?” she asked with a serious tone.
I laughed. “I’m just kidding. It’s a project I’m working on at the inn. We’re doing some renovations and my uncle needed a bunch of tables.”
She smiled, “That’s neat, your helping, I took the liberty of looking around a little while I was there, it’s beautiful.”
I nodded. “I wanted to make my Dad proud of me… and since I lost my chance with taking over the inn, I think helping with the renovations could do that…” My words trailed off.
“You can still make him proud with what you’re doing to help your uncle.”
I smiled. “Yeah.”
Her eyes fell on the clock over on the wall. “My kids are probably anxious for me to pick them up. Could you drop me off over at Floyd’s? I’m sure Margret or Floyd can give me a ride back to Jess’s.”
“Sure,” I replied.
As we pulled up the driveway of Floyd’s and I parked in front of the house in the roundabout, she turned to me. “I know I am probably beating a dead horse at this point but I am sorry about your Dad, and uh, Thanks for bringing me along to find Chris; it was an adventure.”
Nodding, I replied, “It was nice having you come along, Ally.”
Getting out of the truck, she turned and said, “This might be a little forward, but do you want to do Valentine’s Day dinner together? Maybe?”
I had completely forgotten that the holiday was even approaching, but I knew I couldn’t refuse the offer. “Sure,” I replied smiling. “I’ll pick you up at about three. That way we can go see a movie before dinner.”
Smiling back at me, she nodded. “Sounds perfect.” She left the side of my truck and skipped a little on her way up to the door. As I put my truck back into drive, I couldn’t help but grin the entire ride back to my house. She was a cute gal and she seemed serious about God, which I liked. I just knew she had a lot of baggage and didn’t know how the Lord wanted this to go. I prayed on the car ride home for discernment, and for the Lord to press on my heart His will in regards to Ally.
Chris was already home from getting milk when I arrived back at the house. As I walked inside, I saw him sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal. “Why aren’t you at work?”
“Personal day,” he replied curtly.
“Okay.” Taking a seat the table, I continued, “I don’t know how to say this… So, I’ll just show you.” Retrieving the letter from my back pocket, I unfolded it and pushed it across the table to him.
He read it as he continued to eat his cereal. He didn’t say anything, but instead just continued eating.
“What are you thinking?” I asked.
He put a finger up and then pointed at his bowl. He didn’t seem to have a desire to speak while he ate. The minutes felt like hours as he took his time eating. Then, he finally finished. He stood up, put his bowl in the sink and then proceeded upstairs and into his room.
Going after him, I pushed open his bedroom door to find him packing a duffle bag with clothes. “What are you doing?”
“I’m going to see Mom.”
“You can’t.”
“I can, and I am.”
Shaking my head, I got in front of him on his way back to his closet. “Brother, you can’t just get in your car
and go see her. You’ll lose your job.”
“I don’t care about that.” He side-stepped around me and continued to the closet.
I pleaded with him. “C’mon, you can’t just jet out of here. I can’t go with you if you leave now.”
“I didn’t ask you to go with me,” he replied.
“Why are you doing this? We don’t even know where she lives or anything about her other than her first name and the city.”
“Pretty sure everyone knows everyone in that town. It’s fairly small.”
“Sure, it might be small, but it’s going to take some time.”
Chris stopped and shouted at me, “Leave me alone, dude! I’m leaving!”
Putting my hands up, I backed away. “Whatever, Bro… I thought we could just go together, find our mom together.” Leaving his room, I shut the door quietly as I went back downstairs.
He’s out of control. There’s no way he’s going to make it to Lincoln City without crashing his car. I will not bail him out of jail or come rescue him this time. Last time was bad enough, I almost went to jail for years over saving him; I’m not jeopardizing my future again or wasting another minute on him.
Picking up the phone in the kitchen, I cleared Chris out of my mind. I needed to get those tables over to the inn and borrow Levi’s trailer to do it. Then, I could start on the next phase of furniture for the inn.
“Hello?” Roy answered the phone.
“How’s it going, Roy?” I asked politely.
“It’s going okay… Sorry to hear about your father passing.”
“Thank you,” I replied.
“It warms my heart, as I’m sure it does yours, knowing that he secured his spot in Heaven.”
I sighed with a relief. “I’m quite happy about that fact.”
“We miss you out at the church Dylan; you should really start attending more.”
“I know, I’ve just been so swamped, it’s hard.”
“I know how that can be. We have to allow God priority over our life though. But anyways, did you need to speak with Levi?”
“Yes for a minute if he’s not too busy.”
“Just a moment,” Roy replied, setting the phone down.