“Ah, I see you’ve figured out my secret plan,” Emily said.
“I like to think my own façade holds up under scrutiny,” Billy said. “Pretend to be the person you want them to think you are, that’s what I say.”
“You’ve never said that,” Emily said.
“You’re right,” he said. “I haven’t. I just made that up.”
“Y’know, for a little while, I thought I had a crush on you,” Jane said. “Then I realized you weren’t my type. And I’m definitely not yours.”
“I don’t have a type,” Billy said.
“Yes, you certainly do,” Emily said.
“I beg your pardon?”
“You so have a type, Billy,” Emily said.
“Well?” Billy said. “What is it?”
“You are into women who can, and under certain circumstances actually will, kick your ass.”
Billy paused for a moment, a flash of irritation passing across his face, then shrugged.
“That’s fair,” he said. “Wait, though. What’s your type?”
“Me?” Jane said.
“Yeah,” Billy said. “You said I’m not your type.”
“I don’t mean that as an insult.”
“None taken.”
“Then why are you asking?”
“Because I don’t remember you going out with anyone,” Billy said. “Ever. I’m just curious.”
“We’ve been saving the world. Non-stop. For, like, a long time,” Jane said.
“Well, we’ve had some time off,” Emily said. “The boy isn’t wrong.”
“I have more than one type,” Jane said. “We’re allowed to have more than one type.”
“And your type just doesn’t include me,” Billy said. “What’s wrong with me?”
“There’s nothing wrong with you. Are you insulted?”
“No,” Billy said. “If I’m being honest, I’m just trying to be less of a garbage person, so if there’s something about me that screams ‘don’t date him,’ I’d love to know what that is.”
“Billy, you’re asking to open Pandora’s Box right now. Nobody wants to know the answer to this question,” Emily said.
“You don’t?” Billy said.
“Oh man, I know all my flaws,” Emily said. She started to tick them off on her fingers. “I’m immature. Annoying. I have a short attention span. I intentionally cause trouble when I’m bored. My pastime is antagonizing the few people who do like me. I’m a disaster. Those are just the surface flaws.”
“Maybe I don’t want to know the answer to this question,” Billy said.
“If I’m being honest, when we first met, it was because you were simultaneously cocky and overconfident while also having a profound lack of self-confidence,” Jane said.
Billy and Emily both turned to look at her, slack-jawed.
“That is the most accurate description of Year One Billy I have ever heard,” Emily said. “Brava, lady. Brava.”
“I’m legitimately annoying,” Billy said. “All this time, I’ve always been legitimately annoying.”
“That’s not what I meant,” Jane said. “Please don’t take that to heart. You’ve grown a lot. And now, well, I just know you’re not my type because we know each other better. I know I’m not yours either.”
“Right,” Billy said, distracted.
“I think you broke him,” Emily said.
“Sorry,” Jane said.
“But seriously. What is your type? Jon?” Emily asked.
“Jon?”
“Broadstreet. The reporter who’s in love with you.”
“Oh,” Jane said. “I don’t know. He’s nice.”
“But not your type,” Emily said. “He looks kinda pretty now that he grew out his beard.”
“I have more than one type!” Jane said. “And why does it… wait, what’s your type?”
“I do not have a type,” Emily said. “I am free, like a bird, to alight upon any branch I so choose. Nothing can tie me down.”
“I’ve kind of always worked on the assumption you are your own type,” Billy said.
Emily nodded confidently.
“I’d date me. I’m awesome,” Emily said. “Fine. On three, Jane, we both point to the first person we see we think is attractive.”
“Huh?”
“Here. On this street. Just point to someone you dig.”
Jane sighed.
“Fine. It’s not like we’re actually doing anything, like saving the world.”
“Good,” Emily said. “One… two… three.”
Jane and Emily both pointed at Lady Dreamless in her Holly Golightly outfit and sunglasses.
“Ha! I love it!” Emily said.
“Well, that just happened,” Jane said.
Billy started clapping.
“All this time, we have finally found something you two agree on,” Billy said. “This makes me so happy. I have never seen you two agree on anything since the day we met. You both think Audrey Hepburn is hot.”
“We’ve always agreed that you’re pretty annoying, Billy Case,” Emily said. “What do you think of the guy walking up to her?”
“Which one?” Jane said.
“Can I just say, watching Lady Dreamless shoot down dude after dude who hits on her this afternoon has been, up until ‘point at someone you find attractive,’ the highlight of my day?” Billy said. “She’s like some sort of rejection Jedi Master. Oh, this guy is definitely getting rejected.”
They watched as a tall, magazine-handsome man took a seat at the table with Lady Dreamless. Jane, Billy, and Emily all sat back in shock.
“Wow,” Billy said. “I wouldn’t have guessed that one.”
“I guess he’s got a sort of… soap opera handsome thing going on there,” Jane said. “I guess I like a little more character to a guy’s face.”
“He’s boring,” Emily said. “A little too boring.”
“What do you mean?” Jane asked.
“We’re stalking an interdimensional creature disguised as a human,” Emily said. “Does that guy look like a human, or like someone wearing, like, a human hologram?”
“Oh, no,” Billy said. “She might be right.”
“We should get over there,” Jane said.
“And blow our cover?” Emily said.
“You both just pointed at her at the same time,” Billy said. “If there was any doubt we’re stalking her, you two just totally gave us away anyway.”
He stood up, tossing his coffee in a nearby bin.
And that was when people started turning into zombies.
Chapter 27: The Zombies of Wall Street
I realize after all this time I should fully understand our combined capabilities, Billy thought, but can we tell if those people are still alive or not, Dude?
I’m sensing heartbeats, Dude said. This appears to be, if I were to be so bold as to hazard a guess, some sort of extreme mind control.
So they’re not zombies, Billy thought.
I honestly don’t know how zombies operate, but they’re not the walking dead, if that’s what you’re asking.
Good enough for me, Billy thought.
He grabbed Jane by the shoulder as she stood up to race to Lady Dreamless’ rescue.
“They’re still alive,” Billy said. “Those people.”
“The zombies are still alive,” she repeated.
“Yeah. So, y’know…”
“Maybe don’t go for the brain like a zombie movie,” Emily said, lifting off the ground in a bubble of float.
Jane yanked her hat off, revealing her flaming hair. Other patrons of the coffee shop began to run and take cover. Others, of course, started taking photos with their phones.
“Basically they’re hostages and monsters at the same time,” Jane said.
“Yeah,” Billy said.
“Got a game plan to go along with your extrasensory perception?” Jane asked.
“I have a plan,” Emily said.
Billy and Ja
ne turned to her.
“Obliterate the creep who is clearly controlling them,” Emily said, pointing at the man who had sat down with Lady Dreamless.
“On it,” Billy said. Jane started to protest, but he waved her off. “You get to Dreamless and get her out of there. I’ve got the range to hit this guy at a distance, right?”
Jane nodded.
“Okay. Solid. Emily?”
“Yeah, boss?”
“I’m going to… try to not accidentally hit any of the not-zombies so hard I kill them. When you see an opening, bubble of float our target the heck out of there,” Jane said.
“You got it.”
Billy waited until Jane and Emily were airborne, flying toward Lady Dreamless, and then ran to his right to get a clear shot at the creepy guy.
Why are we not flying, Billy Case? Dude asked.
I’m going to let the girls catch his eye for just a second. He’ll be looking at the young woman whose hair is on fire first, and when he’s not looking… wham.
Every time I think I have given up on you, you prove you’ve actually learned something since we began our partnership.
Hey, Dude, I’m getting there. Remember, I’m the same guy who tried dive-bombing a giant mole monster as a “tactic.”
As expected, the blandly handsome man whipped around, diverting his attention from Lady Dreamless to watch as Jane and Emily rocketed across the sky. He began to wave his hands in a way that Billy found alarmingly familiar, like something he’d seen Doc Silence do so many times. He’s casting a spell, Billy thought. Can’t let that happen.
Billy reached out both hands and let his light-blasts unleash at full power, hitting the creeper-magician like a tidal wave. The magician went crashing across the patio, slamming into a table, knocking over several chairs, and landing in a pile of furniture, umbrellas, and drinks, limbs askew, face buried under a tablecloth.
The zombies, however, kept on zombie-ing.
Okay, maybe the plan didn’t work, Billy thought.
It was worth trying, Dude reassured him. Perhaps it wasn’t a concentration spell.
Did you just make a Dungeons and Dragons joke, Dude? Billy thought.
…Not on purpose, Billy Case. We need to spend less time with Emily, I think.
Jane landed right next to Lady Dreamless and began knocking zombies away from her. Billy could tell Jane was holding back—the people who had been transformed, assuming they woke up from this spell at all, would feel dinged up for sure, but considering Jane was strong enough to punch a human head clean off its body, she was doing a pretty good job keeping the damage to a minimum. Billy ran toward them, watching as the creepy magician began to stir, climbing up out of the debris. Several zombie pedestrians took notice of Billy and began shambling toward him, and he fired off a few light-blasts to keep them away.
Any chance you can help me keep the “oomph” of those blast at a minimum, Dude?
I’ll do my best to scale back the power level, Billy Case. You focus on targeting.
Weird, it’s almost like we’re really a team now, isn’t it?
Let’s not get carried away.
The magician stood up, grasping a fallen table for support. He no longer looked like a catalogue model, though. His skin had faded from a perfect tan to sickly gray, now covered in pale tattoos. His eyes glowed an ugly, dark red. Once again, he began gesturing to cast a spell, seemingly unsure where to target his rage.
So Billy made a suggestion by once again hitting him at full power. This time, the magician was knocked from his feet, flying into the bistro. It was a nice enough day that the restaurant had its front windows wide open to let in the warm air, so instead of smashing through a giant pane of glass, Billy could hear instead what sounded like a grown man’s body crashing into a wine rack.
Billy was close enough now to hear Jane explaining the situation to Lady Dreamless while punching and kicking zombies away from her.
“We’re here to help,” Jane said.
“Who—why?” Lady Dreamless said. “How did you know…”
“Also when and where,” Emily said, scooping up the two Great Danes with her bubble of float.
“I don’t understand,” Lady Dreamless said.
“We’re—hang on,” Jane said, bodily tossing one of the zombie-waitresses aside and apologizing to her as the unwitting victim landed heavily on the pavement. “We’re Doc Silence’s students. We were sent to warn you. About that guy.”
“And apparently we were about ten minutes late,” Billy said. He could see the magician struggling to his feet within the bistro, so he sent a blast of light through the open window. Billy took the cursing and groan that followed as a good sign that he’d hit his target.
“We’ll explain later. Let’s just get you out of here,” Jane said.
Emily reached out a hand to Lady Dreamless, who looked all around her in a perfect combination of annoyance and confusion.
“One moment,” she said. She muttered something in a language Billy couldn’t recognize. It made him think of places he’d seen but could not remember, like a dream half-forgotten upon waking up.
The zombies, as one, fell to the ground.
“Did you just kill them?” Jane asked, her voice cracking.
“No,” Lady Dreamless said. “I woke them from a nightmare.”
She took Emily’s hand and together they began rising into the air. Jane and Billy both took off as well. As they did, Billy saw the magician step from within the bistro.
“No, you don’t,” he said.
So Billy shot him in the face with a light-blast again, sending him sprawling back into the restaurant.
“Let’s get out of here,” Billy said. “Pretty sure he’s about to figure out how to start getting out of the way of those.”
Chapter 28: The castle of Queen Alice
Doc Silence walked down the center of what once was Westwick, the buildings and homes silent, the stores closed. He could sense eyes on him, both suspicious and fearful, but no one approached or called out as he walked north, toward the strange structure that now dominated the town’s center.
The castle’s design possessed an innocence, one without a sense of engineering or gravity, so that towers and spires spun off in unsafe, illogical patterns, looking more like a tree than a fortress. The stonework was reddish, like faded brick, and stained glass appeared in every window. Pepper pot turrets were covered by conical roofs in bright colors, adorned with flags in a rainbow of colors, with childlike drawings of mythological monsters appearing on each without any sense of reason or design. One massive gate stood open like a wide maw, guarded by knights in silver armor. They saw Doc approach and pointed long, jagged spears at him.
“This was not here a few days ago,” Alice’s shadow-man figment whispered in Doc’s ear. The creature literally rode on Doc’s back, blending in with the dark material of the magician’s trench coat.
“I assumed the castle was new,” Doc muttered, trying to make sure the guards couldn’t see his lips moving.
The guards called out to him.
“Halt! Who are you? What are you doing here? You don’t have an appointment!” one yelled.
Doc held his hands out to his sides to show he held no weapon.
“My name is Doc Silence. I’m here to speak with Queen Alice.”
“You don’t have an appointment,” the guard repeated.
“Are you sure?” Doc said. “Maybe you should double-check.”
“Queen Alice has no appointments today,” the guard said. “She never has any appointments. Go away.”
“Please,” Doc said. “I just request a moment of her time.”
The two guards looked at each other, then one ran inside, armor clanking with each step. The remaining guard stared with palpable discomfort from behind his helmet, a bascinet obscuring all but his eyes.
“Pleasant day, isn’t it?” Doc said conversationally.
“Silence!” the guard said.
Doc sensed
a strange vibration along his spin and realized the shadow-man was laughing.
“Did that guard just yell your name at you?” Gloomly said.
“It happens,” Doc whispered.
Finally, the other guard returned, but this time, he was not alone. Striding confidently beside him was a tall man, dressed in deep purple robes of state, a large gem hanging around his neck attached to a thick rope of gold. The man was ghostly pale, but strikingly handsome, with high cheekbones, jet black hair, eyes like black pearls. He smiled gently as he looked at Doc.
“You’re not from here,” the newcomer said. “Curious.”
“I’m a traveler from another realm,” Doc said.
“I’m less concerned where you’re from than I am how you got here,” the man in purple said. “We haven’t had a visitor to Queen Alice’s kingdom before.”
“Then allow me the honor of being your first guest,” Doc said.
The man lifted a hand, and both guards walked toward Doc, taking up position on either side of him. Not ungently, they guided him toward the portcullis. Doc allowed himself to be led without struggle.
“You must be the Vizier,” Doc said as he approached the man in purple.
“I am,” he said. “So you know more about me than I know about you. My guards tell me you call yourself the doctor of silence.”
“Doc to my friends,” Doc Silence said. “And really, it’s an honorary title. I can’t say I completed any formal doctoral program.”
The Vizier’s face quirked into a brief smile.
“You’ll find most of what happens in this kingdom is based on imagination far more than fact and paper,” he said. “We find things work better that way.”
“I’m still learning my way around this realm,” Doc said.
“One might say we all are,” The Vizier said. “It changes with the queen’s whims and fancies. What is real today might be imagined tomorrow, and vice versa.”
“Might I have a chance to speak with her?” Doc said. “I bring a message from the other world.”
The Vizier stopped walking. The guards followed suit.
“And what might that message be, doctor?”
“The queen’s mother is looking for her.”
“And I suppose you’re here to bring her home.”
The Indestructibles (Book 5): The Crimson Child Page 13