No Expectations

by Morgan Thomas

  All of the stress and emotions that Tess had been holding in the previous week came out of her in full force, and she laughed at the incredulousness of the situation in front of her. “How long have you thought I was so stupid?” She laughed harder, louder, her ribcage heaving with every sound. “Everyone is so right. This is ridiculous!”

  Hillary sat on the edge of the hospital bed in shock, her shirt still in her hands as she stared at the woman laughing hysterically in front of her. “If this is some new dramatic way of arguing with me…you look like a crazy person, Tess!”

  “Do you know what I felt when that woman just kissed you?” Tess stopped laughing and took a deep breath to stifle back the next bout of hysterical laughter from seeping out. She cut Hillary off when she opened her mouth to speak. “Nothing Hillary. Nothing.”

  Hillary nodded, thinking Tess was laughing because she had bought her story that Tara was just her friend and smiled in victory. “Good. Thank God, I thought this was going to turn into another fight, and I’m not feeling up to that right now.” She reached towards the stitches on her forehead to hit Tess where she knew it would get her and gain some sympathy points.

  “No, Hillary, I mean I literally felt nothing. I’m not stupid, or blind. I know you’re fucking her. I just don’t care.” Tess took another deep breath as the realization washed over her in waves. “I’m not in love with you.” When Hillary’s jaw dropped, Tess smiled. “I don’t even think I like you anymore. You make me feel—” She stopped and mulled over her thoughts before deciding it didn’t matter anymore. “I’m glad you’re okay, and I will always care about you, but I don’t want to be with you, Hillary.” She picked up her purse and pulled out a twenty, handing it to the gawking woman on the hospital bed, who was still holding the shirt in her hands. “Here, call yourself a cab, or call your friend to give you a ride home.”

  Hillary stared at the twenty in Tess’s hand, a look of disbelief on her face. “Come on, Tess, you can’t…you can’t be serious,” she stammered at Tess’s still-smiling face.

  When she didn’t take the money, Tess tossed it on the bed beside Hillary, turned, and walked out of the room. She smiled at the charge nurse when she heard the screaming from the room behind her.

  “Tess! Tess!”

  ~~

  Tess walked up her sister’s driveway, the smile still on her face, and popped another M&M into her mouth. She walked in the front door and handed her nephew the bag of candy before finding her sister in the kitchen. She walked up behind her sister and wrapped her arms around her to hug her fiercely. “I love you.”

  “I know.” Breanne turned when Tess released her, an arrogant look on her face. What did you do?

  Tess handed her sister a large bag of candy and a vanilla cappuccino, laughing when Breanne furrowed her brows and asked again.

  “Seriously, what did you do?”

  Tess smiled wider and hopped on the kitchen counter, one leg swinging in front of her. She looked at her sister sympathetically, trying to shade her smile. “You might want to sit down for this.” She heard her sister groan and watched as she opened the bag of candy, popping one in her mouth.

  “Just tell me. Where is the harpy?”

  Tess smiled. “I don’t know.” She looked around the room nonchalantly. “I told her to take a cab.”

  When Breanne’s jaw dropped, she had to put her hand over her mouth quickly to stop the candy from falling out. “Excuse me?”

  Tess grinned at her sister, “What? I gave her money for the cab.” She laughed when her sister choked on the candy and took a sip of the cappuccino to wash it down.

  When Breanne had regained her composure, she turned to peer into the living room as if she were making sure Hillary wasn’t sitting out there waiting. When she didn’t see the woman, she glanced around the dining room and then at the ceiling in the kitchen.

  Tess watched her curiously. “What are you doing?”

  “Looking for cameras.”

  “What?” Tess chuckled. “What are you talking about?”

  “Am I being Punk’d? Are you recording this?” She walked up to her sister and patted down her shirt as if she were checking for a microphone.

  Tess smacked her hand away. “Oh, quit it.”

  Breanne grinned and popped another candy in her mouth, noticing the way her sister was smiling. “What’s going on? You look…happy.”

  “I am. I feel… free. It’s like my eyes just opened today, and I realized who Hillary really is, or more so… who I am.”

  Breanne took another candy from the bag and handed it to her sister. “You’re welcome.”

  Tess rolled her eyes, but took the candy and stuffed it into her mouth, mumbling through chews. “Not you, ya jerk.”

  “Mmmhmmm.” Breanne put the bag of candy on the counter to resist stuffing another piece in her mouth and shot Tess a pompous look that said they both knew Breanne was right. “Have you talked to her?”

  For the first time in the last hour, Tess frowned and shook her head. “No.”

  “Are you going to?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Breanne took another piece of candy out of the bag. “Why not?”

  Tess ran her hands through her hair roughly. “It doesn’t seem right… being confused about things with Hillary, telling Courtney I need some time, thinking I’m going to be with Hillary, and then waking up and saying never mind, okay, back to you.” She untangled her hand from her still damp hair. “It just doesn’t seem fair to her.”

  Breanne frowned. “Does she know you were struggling with this?” When Tess shook her head, Breanne nodded. “Then what is the problem?”

  Tess tipped her head, giving her sister a look that said really? “Because I know, and it makes me feel this big.” She held up her fingers a centimeter apart. “Besides, everything we had was based on this no-strings-attached clause. So what, now I’m supposed to call her up and say what?” She spoke in a mocking voice “Hey, Court, so I just spent a week with my ex, and it made me realize I’m madly in love with you?”

  Breanne nearly dropped her cappuccino. “In love with?” She stressed the words, studying her little sister’s face. “I have to say, even I didn’t see this coming.”

  Tess lifted her hand to chew on her fingernail, thinking even she hadn’t realized the words were going to come out of her mouth until they had, and once they did, she wasn’t surprised by them. “Leave it to me to screw it up though, right?” She continued to gnaw on her fingernail, as the twinge in her chest reappeared and intensified. She looked up at Breanne and grinned. “You mean the all-knowing Breanne didn’t call it?” She smirked in satisfaction, thinking it had taken nearly thirty years, but she had managed to finally stay one step ahead of her sister.

  Breanne laughed caustically. “Oh, sweetie. Any fool that saw the two of you together could tell you were both crazy for each other. The part that surprises me is that you admit it so easily.”

  Tess rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Bre, don’t change the story now.” She watched as her sister put the phone on the kitchen wall on speaker and dialed a number. When she heard her cousin’s familiar voice say hello on the other end, she looked at her sister in confusion.

  “You owe me fifty bucks, Jesse.” Breanne flashed an arrogant grin at her sister.

  Tess’s head tipped at her sister as she listened to Jesse’s voice on the other end of the phone. “No way, Breanne, I want proof. Just last week Tessie was running out of the house after the ho-bag. No way have you won. I definitely get the fifty this time.” Tess shot her sister’s arrogant face a look of disgust.

  “When are you gonna learn to quit betting against her, you moron,” Tess grumbled, hopping of the counter. “How often do you two bet on me anyways?” The silence on the other end of the phone gave Tess the answer she was looking for. “You two really need to get out more.”

  A loud curse came from the receiver when Jesse realized she owed Breanne another fifty, “Sorry, lovey, but you keep
us busy. So when’s the wedding?”

  Tess rolled her eyes when Breanne kept chatting arrogantly. “She’s not going to talk to her. She feels guilty for being too stupid to realize Hillary was bad for her sooner.” She yelped when Tess poked her in the shoulder.

  “What? I’m right, and you know it.” She turned her attention back to the receiver. “Tell her she’s being stupid and she could call Courtney.”

  Jesse’s voice passed through the receiver, mocking Tess’s earlier statement. “When are you going to realize your sister is always right, Tessie,” she giggled. “We like Courtney. She likes you too, you know, you should call her.”

  “I know,” Tess reached for the bag of candy and pouted when Breanne pulled it out of her reach. “No candy for you. Stupid people who let great girls get away don’t get candy.”

  “I’m not letting her get away. Jeez, will you two relax. I’m just trying to figure out what to say to her.”

  “Do you know the number for the U-Haul rental service?”

  Breanne laughed at the voice that came from the receiver. “I’ll talk to you later, Jesse, you owe me fifty.” She pushed the end button and turned her attention back to her sister. “For that matter, you should owe me fifty as well.”

  Tess looked her sister incredulously.

  “Remember that conversation we had where I told you that you weren’t capable of doing the whole no-strings-attached thing?” When Tess nodded in affirmation, Breanne grinned arrogantly, “Well you went and fell in love with her, so I think I should get a prize for predicting that one.”

  Tess grimaced. “Please, Breanne, if I had to pay you every time you said I told you so—”

  “You’d be broke, and I’d be rich.” Breanne cut her off laughing.

  “Well, shit.” Tess threw her hands in the air. “What if I’m that girl?”

  Breanne looked at her sister cautiously. “What girl?”

  Tess grumbled, sticking the corner of her finger back in her mouth to chew on it. “What if I’m not in love with Courtney, what if I’m just a pathological fall-er in lov-er who, much like a teenage girl, thinks she’s in love with everyone who gives her a little attention. Ugh.” She leaned back against the counter roughly, wondering what the hell was wrong with her.

  Breanne laughed and wrapped her arms around her sister to hug her fiercely. “Oh, I love you, and you are not that girl.” She leaned back and pulled the finger out of Tess’s mouth. “Quit that. Besides, even if you were that girl, this time, you fell for the right one.”

  Tess looked at Breanne apprehensively and then at the clock. “I’m going to go get Ali.”

  “I thought Brad had her tonight?”

  “He does, but I miss her.” She snagged a piece of candy from the bag on her way through the dining room and stopped to kiss her chocolate- covered nephew on the forehead. “James might need a washcloth,” she called loudly, grinning as she shut the front door behind her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  Tess stopped at Brad’s on her way to Courtney’s to get Ali. She walked in the front door and handed Brad a case of beer. When his brows furrowed and he opened his mouth to speak, Tess held a hand up and spoke quickly.

  “No, I didn’t do anything wrong. No, Hillary is not moving in, she’s not even staying with me. How much do you like Courtney?”

  Ali ran into the living room squealing. “We’re going to see Courtney?! Yes! I’m going to get me stuff. I love you, Dad!” She ran past both her parents and into her bedroom.

  Brad nodded towards the beer. “Does everyone get gifts, or just me?”

  Tess smiled and kissed her friend on the cheek. “Thank you, you very sexy man, for not hating me and taking our daughter away from me while I rode the crazy-train.”

  Brad smiled widely and put the case of beer on his couch. “You sure you’re a vagitarian? You definitely know the way to a man’s heart.”

  Tess laughed, “I’m definitely sure, but if I ever change my mind you’ll be the first to know. Do you mind if I steal Ali tonight? I miss her, and I thought we would run out and see Court. Ali has been asking about her.”

  Brad smiled at Tess. “I see what you’re doing here. You’re taking Ali so Courtney has to let you in to talk, because you know she won’t turn Ali away.”

  Tess looked at Brad with a twinge of guilt. “No, I miss my daughter.” She looked at the ceiling. “Not that the thought hasn’t crossed my mind, but I really do just want her with me.”

  Brad snaked an arm around Tess’s shoulder and wiped away a fake tear. “I’ve never been so proud.” He squeezed Tess close and then pulled her back to look at her expectantly.

  “What?”

  “I’m waiting.”

  “Waiting for what?” Tess looked at Brad questioningly when he grunted.

  “Fine, you’re welcome.”

  “For what?”

  Brad gave Tess the same arrogant look that Breanne had given her earlier. “I believe you owe me a thank you. For the computer chic.” He pretended to be in deep thought. “Now…who was it that told you to bang her?” He stuck his finger in the air. “Oh, yeah, that would be me.” He flashed a toothy smile at Tess. “You’re welcome.”

  Tess rolled her eyes. “Why does everyone think I need to thank them for decisions I make. I’m a big girl, you know!”

  Brad shook his head and shot her a sympathetic look that turned to a smile when his daughter came bouncing out of the bedroom, past both of them and straight to the front door. She stopped suddenly and turned. Brad grinned, thinking his daughter had almost forgotten to tell him goodbye, when her mouth opened.

  “Are you coming, Mom?”

  Tess laughed as the arrogance washed off of Brad’s face when his daughter bounced out the front door.

  “Bye, Dad, I love you, Dad, I remember you exist, Dad,” he grumbled as he smacked Tess on the behind and shut the door behind her.

  ~~

  Tess frowned when she pulled into Courtney’s driveway and didn’t see her car. She saw Chris’s head bobbing in the front window and decided she would ask if he knew where his sister was. She thought about calling her, but decided it would be less easy for Courtney to dismiss her if she was standing right in front of her. She knocked on the front door, Ali beside her and waited, hoping that there was a chance Courtney was home and her car was just somewhere else, her stomach was swimming with nerves.

  She was surprised when the door opened and she heard the infant’s wails. Chris appeared, baby in hand, and Tess had to cover her mouth to stop him from seeing her amusement and looked at him apologetically, hoping she hadn’t woken the infant.

  “Hi, Chris!” Ali squealed. “Is that your baby?”

  Chris smiled at Ali, exhaustion visible on his face. “He is. Hey, squirt, come on in.” He opened the door a little wider, and Ali jetted through the doorway, calling for Jasper. He bounced the infant as he reached behind Tess to close the door.

  “Is she here?” Tess peered around Chris into the kitchen hoping to catch a glimpse of Courtney.

  Chris shook his head. “She didn’t tell you? He motioned for Tess to follow him as he paced the kitchen, bouncing the baby gently. “She won’t be back for another week. She’s working in San Antonio.”

  Tess looked at Chris in amazement. “San Antonio? Why is she all the way out there?”

  When the infant started wailing again, Chris rubbed his back gently. “She got promoted at work. They’re sending her all over. She’ll only be home two weeks out of the month, if that.”

  “Oh,” Tess frowned, “She didn’t tell me.” Then again, why would she…?

  She watched Chris juggle the infant and simultaneously attempt to make a bottle. “Want me to take him for a minute?”

  Chris shook his head, “It’s okay, I’ve got him.”

  Tess remembered the first few weeks that Ali was home from the hospital. She had lived like a zombie, refusing help from everyone, trying to prove she could do it on her own. She was convinced that a
t just days old Ali had taken it as a personal challenge to break her mother. She smiled at Chris knowingly and reached for the infant.

  “I know you do, but I love babies, and since mine is almost all grown up, you will be doing me a personal favor by letting me cuddle yours.” She looked at Chris assuredly and pointed to the little girl rolling around on the living room floor with the overweight dog. “Trust me, I dropped her only twice and she turned out alright.”

  Chris looked at her for a few seconds as if he was contemplating whether or not she had actually dropped her daughter before reluctantly handing over the wailing infant. He watched in amazement as Tess held him tightly and swayed back and forth, slowly and methodically. Within seconds the wailing infant was sleeping soundly. She lifted him, pressing her ear gently to his stomach and wished she had her stethoscope in her car. When she heard the familiar gurgling sound she looked up at Chris who was still staring at her dumbfounded.

  “How did you do that?”

  Tess smiled, “Has he been checked for reflux?”

  Chris nodded and put the bottle he had been making down. “He’s on medicine for it.”

  Tess continued to sway back and forth, running a finger lightly up and down the infant’s cheek. “Sometimes, if their reflux is really bad, bouncing can stir up the acid in their stomach.” She looked at the stains on Chris’s shirt for confirmation. “Even with the medicine, it can still upset their little tummies. If you just elevate the upper part of his body a little and rock back and forth, you can still give him the movement, but it doesn’t shake up the acid in his belly.” She looked at Chris’s pained faced apologetically. “Sorry… I didn’t mean to overstep… it’s the mom and the nurse in me.”

  Chris flashed Tess an apologetic look of his own. “No, you aren’t overstepping at all. I was just thinking that I spend all day bouncing him to get him to sleep, which means I’ve been spending everyday making his stomach hurt.” He grunted and sat on the kitchen stool in defeat.

  Tess smiled at him warmly. “It’s an easy mistake. Ali was colicky. That feeling you have right now, like you’re failing and he’s stripping you of every intelligent thought in your head…” When Chris looked up at her in confirmation, she continued, “That means you’re doing something right. It’s their goal to break us.” When Chris flashed his dimples in appreciation, Tess tipped her head to nuzzle the infant. “I didn’t know you were a father! Congratulations, he is beautiful.”