Chris’s dimples beamed again. “Thank you.” He looked at his son and then back up to the woman holding him. “You haven’t talked to her at all?”
Tess shook her head, guilt washing over her as she handed the sleeping baby back to Chris. “I told her I needed some time and I haven’t heard from her since. It’s my fault. I’m sorry to take up your time, I was just hoping she was here.” She glanced towards the living room when she realized the dog and child were no long rolling around on the floor and called lightly for her daughter, “Come on, Ali, we’ll have to see Courtney a different time, she isn’t here today”.
Chris stood, giving Tess a look. “You’re a girl, so I can’t kick your ass,” he said, turning his attention toward the sleeping infant in his arms, and his voice softened a little, “because we don’t hit girls, right, champ?” He hardened the look on his face and looked back up at Tess. “But I can tell you I know a lot of angry, shady women, and if you hurt my sister, I will employ them to come kick your ass.”
Tess winced. “I guess I deserve that, but I’m also going to take comfort in the fact that you think I can hurt her. It means she cares.”
Chris’s face softened slightly. “I like you, I do, but when Court makes up her mind, it’s pretty set, and being that she is a couple hundred miles way right now, I’d say she’s set it.”
Tess frowned at Chris when Ali came bouncing out of the hallway. “I hope you’re wrong. When does she get back?” Chris checked his phone. “Next Friday, but if you tell her I told you that, I’ll deny it.”
Tess smiled. “Thanks, Chris.” She turned and herded her daughter out the front door, wondering what she was going to do about the AWOL woman.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Courtney sat in the swivel chair in her hotel room, staring out the window eight stories up, and watched the sparkling lights of the city. She had spent all of the time that she wasn’t working in the last week in her hotel room, staring out the window, deep in thought. When she had gotten the text from Tess about needing some time, Courtney had known instantly what it meant. She was a smart girl. Someone goes running off for their ex, and then suddenly doesn’t want to see or talk to you anymore… It didn’t take a genius to figure out what that means, she thought. What it did take a genius to do, Courtney had since learned, was talk yourself out of wanting someone who didn’t want you.
She looked down at the newspaper in her lap and started absently tracing the bold-faced letters with her black pen. She knew that every thought in her head, every feeling in her body, was her own fault. Tess had held a stop sign in front of her face from the beginning, and for some reason Courtney had spent a lot of time both ignoring and trying to move past it. I wasn’t the only one, Courtney thought, thinking of the many times that Tess had showed interest in her and had spent countless hours wondering if what Tess was showing had actually been interest, or if she had just been a distraction…some sort of rebound. She frowned, not wanting to think that Tess was that type of person and knowing, deep down, that Tess had feelings for her as well, but also knowing that none of it mattered now and that it was easier to try to be angry at Tess than it was to sit around and feel the way that she did.
She looked over at her cell phone, and her heart sank. She missed the familiar sound of her phone chiming with a message from Tess, the playful banter, and the picture messages from Ali. She had to stop herself from sending Tess a text when she woke up in the middle of the night, used to the blonde’s crazy ER hours and always wanting to make her smile. She missed the good morning texts and the good night calls.
She didn’t want to go home the next day. She didn’t want to be reminded of Tess when her heart ached and she wasn’t even sure why. They weren’t in a relationship, she wasn’t in love…they’d had a friendship and a fling, and it was over now. She shrugged her shoulders and shook her head, wondering what the hell had happened to her. She had spent her entire life having flings, and yet a pair of blondes had done her in. She thought of Ali and her heart sank a little more. I miss you too, kid.
Courtney had told herself that she needed to get over it, that she needed to be an adult and move on, unsure of why this particular woman was affecting her the way that she was. And I will, she told herself… next week.
She stared out the window some more and wondered what Tess was doing right that moment.
~~
A couple hundred miles away, Tess was sitting at the ER desk, bored out of her mind, but smiling nonetheless. She had gone back to work, and the ER had been quiet all night. What few patients they did have had been a quick diagnosis and simple ailments like the flu or low-grade fevers. Tess cursed herself for nearly jinxing them, but she was wishing for a few emergencies. She had been patiently waiting for Courtney to return from San Antonio. She had spent the better part of the week trying to figure out what she was going to say to her when she got home. She still had no idea.
She had gone through several phases in the last seven days. She went through the I don’t deserve her phase, where she tried to convince herself that she wasn’t good enough for Courtney and that Courtney was better off if she just left her alone. She had gone through the What if she doesn’t want me phase, a phase that lasted only a few seconds because when the thought had crossed her mind, it had been instantly chased by the memory of the look in Courtney’s eyes the day in the bathroom when she had told her that she was falling for her and smiled. She jolted when there was a snapping in front of her face.
“Hey, are you in there?”
Tess looked up to see Logan grinning at her and couldn’t stop the scowl that spread across her face. The nurse’s playful advances had become more insistent with every shift they worked together, and Tess was tiring of the game. She could do playful and flirty, as was her general demeanor with friends, but she had the feeling that Logan genuinely expected their relationship to move from friendship to more. When he slid around behind the desk and started massaging Tess’s shoulders, she shrugged out from under him.
Taking the hint, but not in the way that Tess had meant it, Logan took a step back. “Okay, I get it, no touching at work.” He smiled suggestively at Tess, “I’m going to go grab us some coffee.”
Tess forced a thank you smile and watched with relief as Logan made his way down the hall, thinking that it should buy her at least ten minutes of freedom.
“I used to think he wasn’t so bad, but watching him drool after you like a lost puppy is just sickening,” Joan, one of the nurses that worked with Tess regularly, said, plopping down into the chair next to her, receiving a “Right!” from Elsie, who stood behind them.
“Hey, how is your friend doing? The one who was in the car accident?”
Tess stiffened, sure Hillary was fine, but genuinely not knowing the answer to the question, which was awkward because both nurses had checked on her several times while she sat with Hillary, brought her coffee, and made sure that she was alright. Tess had worked with the nurses for years and had been friendly and cordial at work, but had never attempted to let the friendships move any further. Though both had invited her out on several occasions and tried to progress their friendship, Tess had a way of keeping those she worked with at arm’s length, fearing if they knew that she dated woman, they may judge her harshly.
She frowned, suddenly plagued with guilt, thinking that she had misjudged the women. Neither of them had questioned her relationship with Hillary or been anything but supportive, and she hadn’t even bothered to thank them. Tess straightened a little, glad for the slowness of the ER that gave her the chance to do what she should’ve done a long time ago. She sat up a little straighter and looked over at Joan, who was waiting patiently for Tess to answer. She smiled warmly.
“She is doing great, everything went fine. I haven’t had the chance to thank both of you. It meant a lot to me that you were there, checking on me and trying to keep me sane. For an ER nurse, I don’t do well in situations that involve loved ones.” She watched as the two nurs
es exchanged glances that told Tess they were sorely hoping she elaborated and had to laugh at their need for some goodhearted gossip. “What?”
Elsie smiled at Tess warmly. “You’re welcome, honey, you don’t have to thank us. You would’ve done the same. We take care of our own.” She elbowed Joan lightly on the shoulder. The younger woman also smiled at Tess warmly and shook her head in agreement, but took a different approach with her response.
“Although,” she said, looking up at Tess, somewhat avoiding eye contact, “if you wanted to make it up to us, you could always give us the scoop on who she is.” She looked back up at Tess and grinned, waiting to see if Tess would take the bait.
Tess smiled again and shook her head when Elsie told Joan she was terrible, pretending she didn’t play some part in wanting Tess to dish them the information. Tess thought the panic she had felt in her stomach just months ago when Elsie had joked with her about being interested in Courtney and smiled a little wider, loving the comfortable feeling she suddenly had looking at the two woman. Maybe it was time for a change.
“She was my ex.” She glanced from Joan’s face to Elsie’s and back again, waiting for their response.
“I knew it!” Joan jumped out of her chair, grinning like a fool, and spun around in a circle before sitting back down. “Wait, wait,” she leaned forward in the chair, rubbing her hands together. “Is she still your ex? She was hot!” Joan winked at Tess and waited somewhat impatiently for Tess’s answer.
Tess’s focus had moved to the older nurse standing behind Joan who hadn’t said a word since Tess’s admission. The usually bubbly and talkative woman was standing, arms across her chest, giving Tess a disapproving look.
“Elsie?” Tess waited for any number of things. The nurse couldn’t say anything she hadn’t already heard from members of her own family, but her stomach still filled with nerves. Elsie was Tess’s favorite nurse to work with and she hoped she hadn’t just ruined their relationship at work with her admission.
The woman pursed her lips a little tighter. “Is this why you avoid us outside of work like the plague?”
Tess looked down sheepishly, confirming Elsie’s thoughts, but jerked it back up quickly when the woman started talking again.
“Well, shame on you, Tess. You don’t know us better than that by now?” The older woman shook her head and then motioned for Tess to continue, her fool grin matching Joan’s. “Well, go on. I’ve been waiting four years to hear this story.”
Tess laughed out loud again, all nerves and apprehension gone, and wondered why she hadn’t been truthful about herself sooner and shook her head at the woman. “I’m sorry, and there really isn’t anything to tell. She was my ex, she was in an accident, it brought up some feelings, and I wanted to make sure she was alright.”
When Joan rolled her eyes and leaned back in the chair with a bored “humph,” Logan appeared, a cup of coffee in each hand, and gave one to Tess.
“How about we go grab something a little stronger after work. Are you busy?” Logan winked at Tess, overstressing his innuendo.
Tess sighed and glanced over at the nurse she had disappointed only moments earlier with her lack of interesting conversation. “Sorry, Logan, I have plans after work, but it was nice of you to offer.”
Logan winked at Tess again, cocking his chin arrogantly. “Yeah but is he as handsome as I am?”
This time Tess winked back at him, saying, “She is gorgeous.” She grinned impishly when he looked back at her with disbelief. “Remember that computer tech from a few months ago?” She watched as both irritation and amusement crossed his face.
“You could’ve just said no, Tess.” He watched the woman carefully, to see if she was serious before turning to walk away, shaking his head on the way down the hall.
Tess sat back, a look of triumph on her face at finally getting Logan off her back and thinking she wanted to relish in the moment. This time it was Elsie who slid into the chair next to Tess, gaining Joan’s attention as well. She gave Tess a skeptical look that told her that unlike Logan, she bought Tess’s story, and this time it was her turn, “I knew it!” She looked up at Joan. “You weren’t here, and I called it. The computer tech was hotter.”
Tess nodded at Elsie. “Yes you did.”
“Well?”
“Well,” Tess repeated back to the woman, “if someone you were seeing spent a week with their ex, during which time they didn’t talk to you because they… needed time to think, what do you think the odds are that you would forgive said person?”
The women exchanged glances before turning their attention back at Tess, both raising their eyebrows and giving Tess a look that said she was screwed.
Tess sighed, exasperated, “Yeah… that’s what I figured…”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Courtney sat in the booth at the café a few blocks from the hospital. When Tess had called, she had stared at her phone without answering. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear the woman’s voice. It wasn’t until the next day that she decided she was being childish and finally listened to the voice mail. She heard Tess’s voice, smooth in the receiver.
I didn’t want to call, but I didn’t just want to show up either, in case you didn’t want to see me. I want to see you. I want to talk to you, if you will give me the chance. I think you are probably screening my call right now… and I get it… I just… I miss you. Call me back.
Courtney closed her eyes and listened to the message again, thinking it made her feel ridiculous that she was replaying it just to hear Tess’s voice, yet didn’t answer the phone when she was actually on the other end. She had to stop herself from smiling at the woman’s rambling and pictured her wringing her hands and pacing in her living room. You can’t avoid her forever, Courtney, she had told herself, thinking that a clean closure was the best approach. Taking a page from Tess’s book, she sent her a text, but with a single word: Café?
She looked up when she heard Tess coming through the door and her heart skipped a few beats. She was dressed casually in tight jeans and sandals, but Courtney had to force herself to peal her eyes away. She had missed just looking at the woman, but she had spent the last ten minutes preparing herself for Tess to tell her she had gotten back together with her ex and just wanted to let her down easy. Courtney considered whether or not she could be friends with Tess, and wasn’t sure she could handle a watered-down friendship with the woman.
“Hey! Sorry I’m late, Brad was supposed to pick up Ali earlier, but he was running late, so now I’m running late… then again, I’m always running late, so…” Her voice trailed off when she slid in the booth across from Courtney and noticed the look on the woman’s face. “Sorry, not important…” Though Tess had rehearsed what she was going to say to Courtney repeatedly in her mind, sitting across from the woman, her mind suddenly went blank. She didn’t realize how much she had missed Courtney until she had to sit two feet away from her, unable to kiss her—or touch. Her hand itched to reach across the table for Courtney’s, but almost instinctively, Courtney seemed to consider her actions and pulled her hand off the table and into her lap. Tess frowned, realizing for the first time that this may not go well. “How are you?”
Courtney considered her answer and tried to take a deep breath. Suddenly the thought of sitting at the table and making small talk with Tess had nausea creeping up the back of her throat. “Look,” she swallowed trying to wet her dry throat, “we don’t have to do this, Tess. We are adults. We had fun. You made yourself clear from the beginning. How is Hillary?” Courtney had to struggle to choke out the woman’s name. When the waitress appeared, Courtney waved her off, suddenly deciding she wasn’t going to stay long enough to order anything.
Tess watched the woman across from her fidget and felt a mixture of guilt and happiness. She felt guilty that she was the reason the ever calm, perfectly composed Courtney looked rattled, but decided it felt good to be the relaxed one for once. It also excited her a little that Courtney seemed to ping a
bit of jealousy with her words. The ping of jealousy gave Tess hope. “I don’t know how she is. I haven’t seen or talked to her in over a week.”
Courtney’s eyebrows raised, but she wouldn’t allow herself to consider anything. She rubbed her hands on the top of her legs and looked around the café to avoid Tess’s eyes. She suddenly felt as if the café were closing in on her and decided that she didn’t want to participate in the conversation today. “You know what, I have a million things to get done before I leave town again. It was nice seeing you, Tess.” She forced herself to give Tess a polite smile before standing and walking out of the café.
Tess watched in disbelief as Courtney simply stood without waiting for a response and walked out of the café. She considered letting her go, and giving her some time, but decided she didn’t want to do that until she had a chance to explain.
Courtney was opening the door to her car when she heard Tess yell her name across the parking lot. She pretended not to hear her and climbed inside the car, shutting the door behind her. She was starting the car when Tess startled her, opened the passenger door, and climbed inside.
“Well, now you are just being rude.”
Courtney took a deep breath. “I’m not being rude, Tess, I just have a lot to do, and I’m tired—” She didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence before she found her mouth captured by Tess’s. Mid-sentence the woman had leaned over, cupped Courtney’s face, and pulled her close to kiss her, passionately and completely without reserve. Courtney couldn’t help but kiss her back, and both of them were breathless by the time Tess pulled back.
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