“Come on.” Her urgency heated his blood. “Come on, Danny. You said for old times’ sake. You remember, surely?”
“Of course. How could I forget?” The first summer here. Marshall’s had been a regular haunt of theirs. And one evening…well, one evening they’d done exactly the same thing.
He ran after her through the grass, spurred on by her gentle laughter. The sound of raucous singing fading into the distance, whilst nearer, the gentle crash of waves on sand drew him closer to the beach. To her.
It took him two seconds to lay his jacket down on the sand, and her on top of it. He had so many questions, so many reasons not to do this, but they melted away as she smiled up at him.
“So, hello, wife. Here we are again.”
“Husband.” For a little while longer at least.
“You are so freakin’ beautiful.”
Her hands fisted his shirt. “So are you. Now shut up.”
He stroked across her forehead, over her nose. Kissed her gently, unsure how fast to go. How much she really wanted this, or whether she was just reliving a memory. For him, it was a no-brainer. He wanted to create new memories, with her.
Then she pulled him to her and pressed her mouth against his and he molded himself to her for one last crazy time. Heat exploded inside him as she feverishly grasped at his shirt.
He undid her halter neck dress straps and let them fall, taking time to look at her exquisite breasts encased in white lace. Nothing had changed. And yet everything had. She was beautiful, so much more than before and he ached to be inside her, to have her rock against him.
But she was charging ahead, reaching for his zipper. He pressed a hand against hers. “Hey, there’s no hurry. No hurry at all.”
“You think? I’ve been going mad thinking about this.” Her words stoked the fire in his gut. How many times had he wanted to hear his wife say that to him again? She was breathing hard and fast but she let go of his zipper. Kissed him hot and opened-mouthed. Wet.
“I want to kiss every inch of your body, Em.”
“God, yes.” As she moaned against his head he sucked in a nipple, grazing the perfect pink skin with his teeth. The bud puckered and he sucked it in again. Another moan that stoked the fire in his gut.
What the hell were they doing? Was this the right thing to do?
But he was lost in her, lost in the sensation of being with her—that had never, ever, dwindled. He’d loved making love to her, being with her. Having her.
He kissed a trail down her smooth flat belly and she bucked against him sending sensation after sensation of lust rippling through him. The soft lace of her panties was a barrier for only a second until he ripped them away and pressed his fingers against her soft wet curls. He groaned against her hip. “You feel so good. I need to be inside you.”
“And the kissing every inch?” She laughed, reaching and grasping again for his zipper. “What about that?”
“I can multi-task.”
“Oh, yes. I remember that very well.” His zipper was down and she released his erection. He groaned into her hair as she wrapped her fingers around his length. He’d never been so hard for anyone, not even for her. But this new confident Emma was astonishing. So sexy. So damned hot.
But it wasn’t just about making love under the stars. There was a new connection building. Certain and solid, untainted by the past. There was hope in her eyes mingling with the desire and the glittering laughter, and that filled his heart with hope too.
So it wouldn’t do to be too quick. He wanted to savor this, to burn this night into his memory. He wriggled from her grip and bent his head to her hip, kissed her there. Lower. And lower until he was pushing her folds apart and his tongue lapped deeply. She smelt so good. Fresh and musky as she arched her back and writhed against his mouth.
“Oh my God, Danny. That is…amazing. Oh, my God.” Her hands gripped his head as he felt her shudder, and he licked her faster. Harder. Until she called out his name over, and over, into the night.
Emma’s eyes slammed shut as her orgasm trembled through her leaving every cell aching for more. More kisses. More Daniel. He was already under her skin, in her heart and in her head now she wanted him physically inside her, whole and hard and deep.
Still seeing stars she dragged at his pants, panting in anticipation, “Get these off, now.”
“Whoa. Scary doctor voice. Looks like I’d better comply. Or else. Yes, ma’am.” Laughing, he wriggled out of his trousers, snatching kisses and playful bites along her neck as he did so.
He’d always known exactly how to pleasure her, each stroke a tease, tender and rough at the same time. He’d always known how to drive her insane with a kiss and today was no different. She unbuttoned his shirt and ran her fingers along his chest. Then she lifted herself to meet him, skin-on-skin, felt his heat invade her, his scent cling to her. She rubbed her head next to his heart. Covering herself in his aroma, making herself his. Only ever his.
He pulled her towards him, settling her on his lap, her legs straddled over his and he kissed her deeply. His tongue plundered her mouth and she kissed him back hard and fast. The intensity of heat and his need was possessive and all male and all powerful. He was claiming her as his.
Somehow he managed to drag his mouth away from hers. “Are you sure?”
“Hell, yes.” More sure than she’d ever been about anything in her whole damned life. “Condom?”
“Pill.”
He nodded. Then his hardness was against her thigh, nudging gently against her nub, rubbing against her clitoris. With one sharp thrust he was filling her and she sighed her pleasure into the dark night. She flung her arms around his neck to steady herself, to lock herself against him, nails grazing his shoulders as she stifled more cries with more kisses.
This was what she’d dreamed about. This was what she’d wanted so badly for so long, this was what had been missing. Her heart expanded, filled with a raw emotion as she closed her eyes against threatening tears. This. Him. Us.
He gripped her bottom as he thrust over and over, faster and faster and she met him rhythm for rhythm in a melody so old and yet new, thick and intense. Pressure inside her began to mount and she ground her hips in a slow circle until every part of her was connected with him.
When she thought she couldn’t last any longer he changed position, laying her gently on his jacket and raising his hips to thrust ever deeper, ever harder. Faster now, as he was gazing at her, hands locked on her cheeks. And she gazed right back at him, trying to hold tears back, silently telling him that yes, this night… This…this was the right thing to do.
“Emma…my love. It was always you,” he moaned as he shuddered into her. “Always and only you. I…I…oh, God.”
“I know.” A tear slipped out of the corner of her eye. She finally let go and melted into his arms and into his kisses. “I know, Danny. I know.”
For a few moments she lay in his arms, exhausted, invigorated. Aching for more.
Her heart was swollen and her throat was full. In England this had never seemed possible. And even yesterday she couldn’t have imagined doing this with Danny. But if this was wrong; if celebrating, honoring and enjoying the man she’d committed to spending her life with was wrong, then she certainly didn’t want to be right.
She turned and nuzzled her face into his chest, curling into his steady heartbeat and clasping his hand under her chin. She could feel his smile against her head as he stroked her hand.
Something hard rubbed against her palm. His wedding ring. The lump in her throat tightened. “I can’t believe you kept on wearing your ring even when I was on the other side of the world. Even when I asked you to put my things in storage, and when I told you about the divorce papers.”
“I’m still married.” He took her left hand and massaged over her bare ring finger. He didn’t need to say anything more. Her stomach tugged and tied itself in knots.
“I still have my ring.” She reached across to her bag and dug out
the little white box. She’d taken it off, yes, but there had been a part of her that hadn’t been able to let it go.
“You brought it with you?”
“I carry it everywhere. Some strange kind of divorcee I’m going to be if I can’t bear to leave my wedding ring at home. Worse, pawn it, sell it on eBay. No way.” That word…divorcee. Was that the right thing? Now, after this? After they’d proved that the attraction was still as intense? That they could make each other feel so good?
He wrapped her more tightly in his arms as if he would never let her go. “When you left it hit me how bad things were. God, I missed you so much. I used to lie in my bed and try to wish you back home. I’d talk to you late into the night telling you about my day. How much I wanted you home, how much I was trying to get my head straight. I think I must have gone a bit crazy.”
Maybe not as crazy as his words were making her feel now. Safe. Wanted. Found. “I nearly came back. So many times I nearly came back to you, I nearly rang, I missed you so desperately. But I wanted it to be forever and I couldn’t trust you past a morning without you going out to the bottle shop.”
He held the ring and looked at it for a few moments then put it back in its box. And didn’t, as she fleetingly thought he might, try to put it back on her finger. She didn’t know what to make of that. She felt him drifting away a little, the anchor slipping slightly. ‘“You didn’t trust me. It’s okay, I didn’t trust myself.”
Her throat hurt, turning from such an elevating thrum to a dark dull pain. Was there any point in going over this again? But there was, they needed to exorcise it from their relationship before they could move forward. “I wanted it all, Danny. I wanted you, I wanted the happy—I wasn’t ready for it to go wrong.”
“Me neither. It hit me so hard and so fast I didn’t know what to do. I was drowning in self-pity, in depression and a need for something I just couldn’t seem to quench.” He kissed her then, softly until the pain lessened. “I do now. I have strategies, people I can talk to, a great support network in Bas and Megan. I deal with it now.”
“I know and I’m so damned proud of you. Should we…?” Try again, she wanted to say. But it was too soon to think about that. Too early for them to make promises neither of them could possibly keep. And yet…there was that hope again. Flickering.
Truth was, she’d lost sight of what the right thing to do truly was.
Although, lying here on a beach instead of being at her best friend’s side the night before her wedding was probably not high on the list of right things. Sitting up, Emma pulled her straps around her neck and tied them. “We should go. I mean quickly, before they start to miss us and we have to face a whole lot questions. Danny, I have to stay with Megan at the hotel tonight, to make sure she gets her beauty sleep. Then we have all the prep—you know…nails, hair-I, well, I just want you to know that I wish things were different.”
He pressed a finger to her lips and she wondered what he was thinking, hoping. But it was too dark to read him and the tone of his voice was neutral. “Hush. It’s probably for the best.”
It wasn’t. How could leaving him be for the best? He wanted her, she wanted him. They were married. All the rest of it could just go to hell.
But she wasn’t that naive. They couldn’t forget the past, the way they’d both turned away rather than toward each other. There had been too many mistakes, too much heartache to be able to wipe the slate completely clean.
CHAPTER SEVEN
“So that’s pretty much everyone dropped home to wait for Father Christmas and his sleigh bells. Just you and Megan and Sleeping Beauty.” Dan smiled hesitantly at Emma and then nodded over to the back of the coach where a sleeping Bas was slumped across three seats, his furry reindeer antlers drooping over one eye, his head on Meg’s knees. He was drooling a little. Snoring a lot. Dan felt an uncharacteristic pang of affection for his mate. “Just beautiful. No second thoughts, Meg?”
Megan glanced at Emma and then back at Dan and she gave a rueful smile. “I did have, to be honest. I had a bit of a wobble, didn’t I, Em? But look at him, he’s like a big soft bear. How could I not promise to love that for ever and ever, Amen?”
Dan laughed. “I hope you have a lifetime supply of earplugs.”
“I sure do.”
“Great. Because you’re going to need them.” You had better not break his heart.
He kicked the bus into gear and set off towards the bridal party’s hotel. Not far from the groom’s—but enough distance that Bas wouldn’t accidentally bump into Megan before the big reveal at the altar, or table or whatever they did when marriages were on a beach.
Dan glanced again at Emma, unsure what his next move was going to be. Making love was one thing. There was also a lot of smiling and long slow lingering looks happening. But what that all meant he hadn’t a clue.
Getting back together?
A fling?
One last hoorah before she disappeared on him again? He wasn’t naïve enough to think that sex once was a passport to forever.
Guilt joined the line-up of emotions swirling in his gut. He should not have gotten carried away. Making love had been amazing, but life wasn’t just filled with glorious sex, unfortunately. He knew that he—they—had another side to their personalities that could be selfish and self-centered. At least he had. And it was hard enough fighting the booze on his own, but what if he slipped? What if he brought her crashing down again?
But…he glanced at her gentle smile again as she laughed at something Megan said and his gut tumbled…what if he didn’t slip? What if anything was possible? What if there was another miracle?
Megan was still rattling away behind him. “Great night, eh? I have to say, it’s been wonderful having everyone here, giving up their time and their holidays for us. Especially you, Em.”
“No worries. It was a no-brainer for me.” Emma’s voice was happy and light as she laughed with her friend. “Promise me you’ll come over and see me when you get back from honeymoon? Brisbane’s not too far away, you can pop over for a weekend.”
Brisbane. Dan’s heart lurched. She’d be gone soon enough, anyway—with all those dreams of hers, taking another piece of his heart with her.
Megan’s sing-song voice rose. “Try and stop us. We’ll be over every other week.”
“Perfect. It’s a great place, by all accounts. I can’t wait to have a look round, try out the wine bars…” Em laughed. “Oh, and on another note altogether, you never did tell me why you decided to have a wedding on Christmas Day? It seems a strange time to do it.”
“Because we can. I think we’re one of the only countries in the world where we can get married on that special day. So why not? Combine the two and have one big blow-out party? It’s just something I’ve always dreamed of—a white dress, and a beach, and Christmas Carols—yep, I’m officially weird. And hey, Dan! Bas and I wanted to say thank you for being such a great help. It’s so good of you.”
“Aww, and now you’re making me blush.” Because he’d do pretty much anything for his friends, and for Emma too.
Right now she was smiling and laughing and looked so damned content, and he’d done that to her. Hell, if he could make her look like that, make her feel like that, then maybe there really was hope for them.
“We’re here, ladies.” He pulled up outside the hotel and turned to look at them. Bas was snuggling against Megan, and Emma was trying to pull Megan up from Bas’s knee.
Em screwed up her face and tugged on Megan’s arm. “Hey, beautiful bride. It’s time to go.”
“Give me a second to kiss my husband-to-be good night one more time.” Megan tugged back and Emma toppled onto Bas’s knee too.
The hapless groom started to grin. “Gotta love all this attention. The bride and the bridesmaid, eh? What dreams are made of. Or have I died and gone to heaven?”
“You’ll be going to hell if you don’t let go. Now’s good,” Dan ordered, and grasped Emma’s hand. For once in his life he needed t
o tell her how he felt. Every part of him ached to touch her again. To kiss her.
Emma stared at his hand and seemed to understand. She turned to Megan. “Room one-twenty-two. You go on ahead, Meg. I’ll catch you up in a minute. Go.”
They watched in silence as Meg tottered off the bus and up the hotel steps. Gradually, Bas’s snores split the quiet. Dan led her outside, through a slatted gate to the deserted pool area.
“Emma,” he whispered as softly as he could. “What we just did—”
She shook her head. “I know, it was stupid…you don’t have to say any more. We shouldn’t have. Not after everything.” There was a soft laugh, half sad, half wistful. “Thing is, I just can’t seem to control myself when you’re around.”
“I know the feeling.” And there he was again reaching for her, running his fingers over her cheek. He’d been about to suggest they do it all again, and again, a beginning… at least something. Because he wasn’t sure he was ready to give up on her yet—not after what they’d just shared. “Whatever the hell else is going on, the passion’s still there.”
Tired shoulders shrugged, half-heartedly. “So it’s a good job I’m going to Brisbane then, eh? That makes things clearer.”
“You’re not leaving for two weeks. We could do a lot in that time. Get to know each other again…spend some time together. Like the old days.” But even as he said it he saw the guarding in her eyes. Because for her, the old days were tainted. So yeah, he’d broken her once and she sure as hell didn’t want to go through that again.
One corner of her mouth lifted. “And then what? You come to Australia with me or some wild idea like that?” It was an off the cuff comment but her eyes brightened a little. “Actually, it’s not such a stupid idea. They do have cops in Brisbane.”
“Brisbane?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
His gut clenched. Because it would mean leaving here. It felt like the suggestion came out of left field, but he really should have been prepared for it; she’d been honest about her plans from the start. He just hadn’t figured he could be part of them.
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