by KD Jones
“Is that why all my previous requests to lead my own mission have been denied?” Quinn suspected that his uncle was being overprotective and the look of guilt on his face proved it.
Devlon chose his words carefully. “I may have kept you from missions that I deemed too—unstable.”
“Damn it, Uncle Devlon!” Quinn stood and paced back and forth. Fury filled him, and for the first time it was directed at his idol from childhood. “How could you hold me back like that?”
“I may have been wrong, I admit that. You have to understand, I know what it is like to see all three of my own sons face danger and one almost died. Your mother would not survive losing her only child after losing her amahlo. It would crush her will to live.”
“So now you’re willing to allow me to take on a mission that may be dangerous. Why?”
“For sake of my grandchildren.”
“Are the rebels threatening to hurt little Milly?” Quinn would take on anyone who dared to hurt someone he loved.
“It’s not the Earth rebels that have me concerned right now. What I worry about are the Drastans who have supplied the rebels with Drastan weapons. I have set up cameras on all the ships, hoping to catch Drastans in the act. I had anonymous tip that there is a group gathering who plan to take over command of the fleet.”
“What? That’s treasonous!”
“The mission I wanted to offer you is to seek out this group covertly and discover if they are a true threat to my family.”
“I’ll do it, you know I will.”
“You need to really think about this first. Especially since you have been spending time with Squirr—the Earth female.”
“We are not fully mated. I still make decisions on how I want to live my life.”
“If you become involved with the female, your decisions will now affect her.”
“Having a mate and family didn’t stop you from going on missions.”
“Son, don’t use me as an example. I have made too many mistakes to count. My biggest, though, was leaving my amahala to have to raise our boys. I didn’t cause her death but I am responsible for not doing more to make her life easier. My sons grew up not knowing how much they mean to me, but we are working to make amends thanks to Maggie, Rachel, and Lily. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes.”
“Is this my decision to make or are you still making the decisions for me?” Quinn knew his uncle meant well but he was still angry that he was purposely kept from moving up.
“It is your decision, but I don’t want an answer until tomorrow. I need to know that you have really thought this out. If you care for this female, then you need to consider her safety. Liam and Kyle will not be taking any missions that keep them from their amahalas. They worry constantly about their children’s safety. Jared also worries over his Lily and his young stepson. If you take this mission it could be weeks or months away from your female. Think about what that will mean for both of you. If you have shared sex, she may already be carrying your child. I don’t want to have another child grow up without their father.”
Quinn nodded without commenting. What could he say? Everything his uncle was telling him was the truth.
“You’re excused, warrior.”
Quinn quickly left the office, feeling all sorts of mixed emotions. He was angry with his uncle but could also understand why he was being so protective. He needed to sort out his thoughts and there was only one place that helped him do that—the gym.
Chapter 8
Squirrel frowned at the mediko who asked her to get on the exam table. She wasn’t here for him and she didn’t care for his brisk attitude toward her.
“No, I’ll wait for Mediko Estro.”
“He’s running late. I am qualified to give you a checkup.”
“I don’t know you. You haven’t been here before.”
“I just transferred from the ship Firestorm. Now get up on the exam table human.” He reached for her elbow and she knocked it away.
“I said no!” She moved backward and tripped, falling onto the floor.
“Get away from her!” Tagar barged in and with one hand lifted the mediko up in the air by his neck.
Holy hell, he was strong! Squirrel was too stunned to move.
“What is going on in here?” Jared demanded as he walked in. He immediately went to aid Squirrel who was struggling to get to her feet.
“This male was touching Lihali after she told him no.” Tagar growled.
Jared frowned. “Lihali?”
“That’s me. I’ll explain later.” She walked over to Tagar and touched his arm. “Its okay, Tagar. I’m fine. You can let him down now.”
Tagar lowered the mediko to the floor. She didn’t let go of Tagar until he let go of the other man.
Mediko Romer gasped for breath and stepped as far from Tagar as he could get. “Do you see? This is why we should never have brought these people to the command ship. We never should have come to this horrible planet to begin with!”
Jared glared at the male. “Mediko Romer, you are relieved of duty until further notice.”
Romer grumbled as he stormed out of the mediko. Squirrel wrapped her arms around her middle trying to stop from shaking. The hate that poured out of Romer was nothing like she had ever experienced before and it was directed at her.
“Squirrel, are you okay?” Jared asked with concern.
She nodded but no words came to her.
“Did he hurt you?”
She took a shaky breath. “No. He wanted to examine me but I told him that I would wait for you since I didn’t know him.”
“He pushed you on the floor.” Tagar growled angrily.
“He tried to reach for me. I panicked and pushed him away then tripped and fell.”
Jared looked worried. “May I examine you? I need to make sure you didn’t injure yourself when you fell.”
“I will wait outside,” Tagar told her gently.
“Thank you for coming to my rescue, Tagar.”
“Any time, Lihali,” Tagar told her as left the room.
She looked at Jared and saw that he was frowning. “What’s wrong?”
“Why does he call you Lihali? It’s a form of endearment.”
She felt heat rise to her cheeks. “He was calling me miss because he knew that Quinn hated for anyone to call me Squirrel. Tagar asked what he could call me and I told him the only thing I could think of, which was what Quinn calls me. Was that wrong?”
“No, I was merely curious. Let me scan you to see if you were injured.”
She sat up on the exam table and waited while he scanned her. “You have a few bruises but otherwise you are doing really well. I’ll give you a booster shot to help with your healing.” He pressed a pressurized needleless air pen up to her arm. There was no pain involved. “All done.”
“Thank you, Jared.” She was already feeling better.
“It’s my pleasure to aid you. Don’t listen to what Mediko Romer said.”
“How can I not? I thought it was the human rebels that were bigots but that kind of hate isn’t just tied to humans.”
“What is a bigot?”
“It means he’s prejudiced against me because I am human. It means if he had a gun in his hands I would be dead and he would be thrilled about it.”
“I agree he spoke out of line but that could be that Tagar almost squeezed the life out of him. Don’t take it personally.”
“How can I not when he hates humans like me?”
Tagar stuck his head back inside with concern. “Do you have need of me?”
She had to work to calm herself down. “I’m fine, thank you, Tagar.”
Tagar nodded and went back out. Jared gave her a pointed look. “Not all of us feel that way, just like not all humans hate us for being aliens.”
That was true. She looked up when the door opened again, and this time it was Lily. She was smiling until she saw their expressions. “What’s wrong?”
Squirrel tried to giv
e her a smile. “Nothing.”
Lily didn’t look like she believed her but she let it drop. She turned her eyes to Jared. “Have you told her yet?”
“I was waiting for you to come.”
“Tell me what?”
“I was able to track your DNA with Earth’s database,” Jared told her.
“Did you find my family? What my name is?” She would love to have a different name to go by than using Squirrel. She never liked that nickname anyway.
Lily came closer. “We found a name: Natalie Fanning.” There was a long pause as Lily looked at Jared.
The name meant nothing to her, it didn’t ring any memories from her. She suspected there was more. “What are you not telling me?”
Lily motioned for Jared to leave them alone. Once he’d gone to the back where his office was located, Lily put a hand on her shoulder. “You were given up when you were a baby. Your mother was a --sixteen-year-old girl named April Fanning. There was no father’s name listed on your birth certificate.”
She felt like she had suffered an extreme blow to her gut. She had stood up but now she sat back down on the exam table. “So I’m a fatherless, unwanted bastard?”
“Natalie—”
“Don’t call me that name. I don’t know that name.”
“You’re not unwanted. We want you here. Quinn wants you here. It doesn’t matter where you came from; it matters where you choose to go next.”
“I need some time to process this.”
“Talk to Quinn, honey. He’ll be worried about you.”
“Maybe.” She left the mediko without glancing at Tagar. She knew he followed but he gave her the space and silence she needed. Soon she realized she wasn’t going in any real direction. She stopped and turned to Tagar. “Could you take me to the room with the windows that looks out over space?”
“Of course. It’s this way.”
She followed Tagar to the lift. They went up several floors before getting off. Tagar entered the room with the windows first. No one was there and she was grateful. She went to the window and stared out into space. Tagar stood next to her silently and stared out the window too. Then he spoke softly, she almost didn’t hear him.
“My younger sister and I were abandoned when we were just children. We had different fathers. My father was a commander but when he died in battle, my mother went to another male who got her pregnant. My mother was young and had no one to help her with us; she suffered stages of dementia. This was before our medical advancements kicked in.
“When I was ten years old, I came home from school to find my mother crying. My little sister was only six months old and she was wailing for help. My mom handed my sister to me and told me to take care of her. Then my mom walked out the door of our home. She never came back.”
“I’m so sorry, Tagar.”
“I used to wonder what I had done to make her leave. I thought it was my fault.”
She put her hand on his arm. “It wasn’t. The fault lies with her. She should never have abandoned her children, or she should have found someone to take them in.”
“It took time for me to understand that.”
“Who took you and your sister in?”
“Several different families volunteered. They didn’t mind having me; I would be a warrior and would bring honor to a family. I had to fight them to take my sister in with me. She was such a little thing. You remind me of her.”
She smiled. “What is her name?”
Tagar’s face lit up. “Arisa.”
“So you were able to keep the two of you together?”
“Yes, I refused to leave her or let anyone take her from me. We used to look up at the stars and talk about distant planets and meeting new species. When I left to go on my first tour she made me promise to bring back rocks from the different planets I visited. I’ve been on tour several years now but in my quarters I have jars filled with rocks that I will give to my sister upon our return.”
“What is she doing on your home world while you are away?”
“She is training to be a mediko.”
“You must be so proud of her.”
“I am but I miss her terribly.”
She turned to look at the stars and the moon. Earth felt like it wasn’t really her planet anymore. There was nothing down there for her, no one wondering what had happened to her. All these years she had fantasized that there were parents who cried over losing their daughter and maybe a brother or sister who missed her every day.
The name Natalie meant nothing to her. It was just another name like Squirrel that had been given to her with no real meaning or purpose. She preferred the name that Quinn had given her, Lihali. Suddenly, she wanted to see Quinn.
“Do you know where Quinn is? I would really like to see him.”
“I can find out for you.” He tapped his communicator. “He’s in the gym. Do you want me to take you there?”
“Yes, thank you, Tagar.”
“It is my pleasure.”
Chapter 9
Quinn circled his cousin Kyle on the training mats where they were practicing their hand-to-hand combat skills. He had come to the gym an hour ago and worked out hard to release some of his pent-up anger. His cousins came in and immediately knew something was wrong. Instead of asking him to talk about it, they offered to practice with him.
Now they were ready for him to answer some questions. Liam asked, “What happened?”
“Did you know that Uncle Devlon kept me off the riskier missions?”
Kyle shook his head but Liam wouldn’t look him in the eyes.
“You knew, didn’t you, Liam?”
“I did. He was only trying to protect you.”
“Well, he’s given me a choice this time, but he tried to talk me out of it by using—Squirrel.”
“What do you mean?”
“He said that because I was with her, she might be carrying my child.”
Liam nodded. “It could be true. I got Maggie pregnant early on, and Kyle and Rachel are expecting now. I’m surprised Lily isn’t pregnant yet.”
Quinn was still frustrated. “Uncle Devlon says that I’ll be too worried about her to concentrate on the mission. I’ve worked too hard to let anything get in my way, especially someone I just met.”
The three men were so deep in their conversation they didn’t see the small shadow by the door as it slipped out of sight.
*****
Squirrel moved back out of the gym as quietly as possible. Her heart felt broken over Quinn’s words. I’ve worked too hard to let anything get in my way, especially someone I just met. She was in his way, keeping him from going on missions that he wanted. She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t belong with Quinn on the command ship but she also didn’t belong on Earth anymore. There wasn’t anywhere for her. Once more, she was all alone.
“Lihali, are you okay?” Tagar asked with concern.
“I’m going back to my quarters to rest. I don’t want to be disturbed, by anyone.”
“Did you speak with Quinn?”
“No, he’s busy with his cousins.” She didn’t say anything else as they went back to her quarters. As she entered the door, she turned back to Tagar. “Could you show me how to change the security on my door? I want to be the only one who can unlock it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until Quinn comes by to help you do that?”
“I don’t want to see Quinn right now.”
Tagar looked uncomfortable but he helped her reset the security alarm. Only she would have access. As soon as Tagar went outside into the corridor, she locked the door and broke down into tears. All her emotions rose up and overwhelmed her.
She knew it was too good to be true. Good things never happened to her. First she lost her memory, then she almost died in that blast, found out she didn’t belong to a family, and then she fell in love with a sexy alien only to find out he thought she was holding him back. Squirrel had nowhere to go and was wanted by no one. She d
idn’t know what she was going to do.
*****
“Father was only trying to get you to think about what you would be signing up for. I can’t stand to be apart from Maggie and Milly; I would worry too much about their safety and could make a mistake, jeopardizing not only my life but also those of my team. I’m not missing anything by taking less dangerous missions because I know that what I was given is a gift and precious. Missions can come and go but people, those I love, cannot be replaced,” Liam told him with emotion.
Kyle moved up and placed his hands on Quinn’s shoulders. “Liam’s right. The closer that Rachel gets to her delivery date, the more I want to remain close to her. I help Father and Liam plan out the missions so I am part of things. I’m learning that it’s equally as important to be behind the scenes looking at it from a distance as it is being on the front lines. It can be just as dangerous because we’ve already faced one attack on board. The dissension here must be uncovered, but we can all work together to discover where the problems lie without endangering you.”
“So I should just accept doing less than I am capable of because I don’t want to put her in danger?” Quinn was calmer and a lot of what his cousins were saying made sense to him.
“Rachel calls it working smarter not harder.” The men shook their heads at that.
“I don’t know what I should do,” Quinn admitted.
Liam looked him the eyes. “Let me ask you this: if you went deep undercover on a mission and something happened to Squirrel, how would you feel?”
“Devastated,” he whispered automatically. He would be devastated if something happened to his Lihali while he was gone. She was more important to him than any mission. He was falling in love with her—no, he had already fallen.
“How do you feel about her?”
“I’m in love with her.” His answer was immediate.
“Could you live without her?”
“Never!” Everything fell into place. He knew that his Lihali was the most important thing in his life, a precious gift. “I can’t lose her.”
Liam patted his shoulder. “Then tell her that.”