Most likely that she hadn’t learned a single thing from living with Paul.
She was tempted. A big part of her wanted to listen to him and believe him, and think he would never yell or get angry again.
But she’d already done that. Far too often, she’d listened to Paul’s excuses. She’d believed his promises about changing. But of course, he never did.
She cleared her throat. “I know your temper just got the best of you.”
A line formed between his brows. “Lucy, I promise, I’m not usually like that.”
Paul had said that so often. That he hadn’t meant to yell at her; that she just made him lose his temper. That he hadn’t meant to break her arm. Or bruise her face. That she’d been so difficult.
And lazy.
Or ungrateful.
With effort, she tried to clear her head of the memories and move forward. “So . . . will both Loyal and Graham come for you?”
“I would be surprised if both didn’t come. It’s like them to do something like that, I think. One of us gets an idea, then the other two want a part in it. It used to drive my parents to distraction.”
“I bet it did,” Lucy said with a smile, in spite of her vow to stay aloof.
Before Calvin could reply, Katie interrupted. “I miss my brothers.”
With relief, Lucy bent to face the little girl. “I’m sure you do,” Lucy said. “And I’m sure they miss you!”
Katie tilted her head. “Will we see you in Jacob’s Crossing?”
Looking Calvin’s way again, she shrugged. “Perhaps.”
“I hope so.”
Calvin opened his mouth, then seemed to think the better of it and closed it again. Instead, he curved a hand around Katie’s shoulder just as John approached.
“Best of luck to you, Lucy,” John said.
“And you as well.”
He grinned, rocking back on his heels. “Thank you. I’m going to need it. I have a feeling it’s hard to start over again.”
Beyond them, under the bright orange-yellow glow of the fluorescent lights, people were gathering and already pulling their bags off the cart. And Lucy knew she’d stalled long enough. It was time to go. Time to put this meeting, this chance relationship, back to where it was intended to be. In the past. “I best go get my suitcase and be on my way,” she said. “And let you three get on your way as well—”
“Calvin! Katie!”
Lucy turned just in time to see two blond men engulf Calvin and Katie with warm hugs and hearty laughter, and shake John’s hand with broad smiles.
With a lump in her throat, she tried not to stare. Tried not to notice just how much his brothers looked like Calvin. Tried not to see how his expression had changed, how it had become less guarded, almost more innocent-looking as they teased him and picked up Katie.
“I’ve got our girl,” one of them said. “Graham, grab their bags and come on. The driver’s charging us by the minute and mile.”
“The drivers always do,” Calvin said. Then, for a split second, he turned her way again.
And one more time, their eyes met. Lucy ached to say something, to say anything . . . anything to try to explain herself.
But then the baggage handler tossed another bag out into the area. Hers.
She hurriedly grabbed the handles.
“Not so fast, ma’am,” the worker said. “You have to show your receipt.”
“Oh, yes. Of course.” Hurriedly, she pulled out the small slip of paper and handed it over. When she looked around again, the Weavers were gone.
She swallowed a lump in her throat and tried not to care.
“Calvin, you’ve been awfully quiet,” Loyal said as they rode in the back of a van to Jacob’s Crossing. “I would have thought you would have had more to say about your trip to Indiana.”
Calvin glanced at his uncle, chatting with the driver in the front seat. “John, you want to add anything?”
He turned around and grinned at them, looking far younger than his thirty-eight years in the dim light. “Sorry, Calvin. I don’t even want to think about our train trip right now. Feel free to tell Loyal and Graham all about it, though.”
Loyal chuckled. “It was that good, hmm?”
Calvin grinned. “It was that bad. Actually, I probably would have had more to say if the adventure getting back here hadn’t been quite so long,” he said, trying to joke, but feeling like every word was getting stuck in his throat.
Graham leaned back in his seat. “Your journey does sound eventful, but still . . . you seem different somehow.” He glanced toward Katie, who was curled up against the door, eyes closed and mouth open. “Did our silly sister wear you out?”
“Nee. She was fine.”
After a few more miles passed, Graham pushed again. “Then, is it coming home that’s got you out of sorts? Are you worried about seeing Gwen and Will again?”
The last thing he wanted to think about was either Gwen or Will. After everything that had happened on the train, and with Lucy, another couple’s romance didn’t seem that important to him.
But if he admitted that, he would sound even more despondent than he’d felt when he first left town. And that wasn’t how he felt now. But he also wasn’t eager to share his new feelings for Lucy. “I’m not worried about seeing either of them. How are they doing?”
Graham narrowed his eyes, as if he was trying to figure out if Calvin was being sarcastic or not. “I see that your time away did do you a world of good. Gwen and Will seem happy together, though Gwen did walk over and talk to Loyal and me the other day.”
“About what?”
“You,” Graham said flatly. “She was wondering how you were doing. I’m getting the sense that she doesn’t care for feeling so guilty.”
“I don’t know what to say to that.”
“You’re a better man than I am, then. She seems like a terribly selfish girl, to be asking after you, after she near broke your heart.”
“It wasn’t that broken.”
“You could have fooled me,” Loyal said. “For weeks after Gwen wrote you that note, you moped around the farm like your world had ended.”
He had moped. So much so, he was now embarrassed about his actions. “When I was out of town, I discovered my world didn’t end after all,” he joked.
Graham added, “For the record, I’ve never seen Will happier. He positively preens like a rooster whenever she is on his arm. Some people are saying a wedding will be happening between the two of them sooner than later.”
“Gwen made no secret about wanting to marry—”
“You,” Loyal interrupted harshly. “She had always said she wanted to marry you.”
“Things—and people—change.”
“At least she landed on her feet.”
Calvin knew their words were not being fair to Gwen. Though he’d certainly been upset about her moving on so quickly to Will, now that he’d gained some perspective, Calvin couldn’t say he’d been completely surprised. “I’m just fine, too, you know. You both can stop feeling sorry for me. And, I hope, we can drop this subject.”
“Don’t worry,” Loyal said with a grin. “We’re getting closer to home.”
“Yep,” Graham added. “Before you know it, we’ll all be back at work in the fields, and your trip to Indianapolis will be a faded memory.”
Calvin nodded, though he knew deep inside that he was not going to be able to forget everything.
Even if he wanted to, Calvin knew he would never forget the pretty blond woman with copper-colored eyes and a dimple in one cheek.
Who had enjoyed her day at the zoo with the kind of exuberance that rivaled Katie’s. Who had gone without regular meals through power outages and foreign train stations with a calm acknowledgment.
And who had also known heartbreak, but she’d elected to help her cousin instead of dwell on the pain.
And who’d run out of his life over a misunderstanding about a horse.
Though he’d let her leave,
he knew he was always going to remember her. No matter how hard he might try, he was never going to forget Lucy Troyer.
Then, like a bolt of lightning had just hit him, he remembered once again . . . he still had her journal.
Chapter 12
“Lucy! You’re here!” Mattie exclaimed, all smiles as her mother, Lucy’s Aunt Jenna, led Lucy through the front door after a long embrace. “I can’t believe you finally made it.”
Lucy rushed to Mattie’s side. As she did, she quickly took notice of her cousin’s pale skin and the new lines around her eyes. The stress of the past month had already taken its toll on her body.
“Finally is right,” she said with a smile before enveloping her cousin in a gentle hug. “For a while there, I wasn’t sure if I was ever going to see your front door.”
“I was thinking the same thing,” Mattie replied. “Mamm and I must have looked at the clock a thousand times, wondering if you’d ever make it here.”
“I’ve had a time of it. But it doesn’t matter. I would have gone through much worse in order to see you. Besides, you did the same for me, and more than once.”
A new awareness entered Mattie’s eyes as she looped her hand around Lucy’s elbow. “Indeed, I did.”
“I’ve never forgotten how much I appreciated you coming to see me after Paul died,” Lucy said.
“Well, of course I would be there.”
“I feel the same way now. It is a blessing to have the chance to help you.”
A shadow entered Mattie’s gaze. “I wish it wasn’t for this reason.”
“I know. But we’ll get through it.”
As Mattie led her into the front room, Lucy felt her cousin’s eyes on her. She felt like she was getting inspected. “Well, how do I look?” she teased.
“Much better.” Mattie tilted her head. “Especially given your trip here. I’ve been imagining the worst. It had to have been difficult, sitting by yourself for hours and hours on the train, and then later in the train terminal.”
“It wasn’t so bad.”
“No?” She paused. “Hmm. Now that I think of it, whenever you left a message on the phone line you didn’t sound too aggrieved.”
“The train breaking down and the storms were scary, but the whole time wasn’t a trial.”
“I’m so glad.”
Lucy was relieved Mattie didn’t need to ask more questions, because she knew exactly why things hadn’t been as bad as they could have been—because she’d been with Calvin Weaver.
As she thought of him and his sister, Lucy knew she would always be grateful for their companionship. For a few hours, she’d thought of herself as a woman again, not just the shell of one.
Actually, she had begun to think that the Lord had known exactly what He’d been doing when He had placed her in Calvin’s company. He had encouraged her to have fun, and to think in the present.
Being with them had felt so freeing. For a brief time, no one was telling her what to do. Or asking about Paul.
No one was causing her to remember things she didn’t want to. Or asking her to help mind her brothers and sisters. No work had begged for her attention. Instead, the journey’s time had been all her own. A true gift.
Yes, her day with them had been wonderful . . . until she’d witnessed his temper.
“Well, you’re here now, and that is all that matters,” Aunt Jenna said as she bustled out of the kitchen, a dish towel in one hand, a mug of hot tea in the other. “Lucy, dear, it is time you did some relaxin’ just like our Mattie here. Now, take a seat and sip some tea, why don’t you?”
Lucy took the mug from her aunt and inhaled deeply. The spicy orange-cinnamon aroma smelled like heaven. But she still felt obligated to remind her that she hadn’t come to Jacob’s Crossing simply to relax. “I came to help, Aunt Jenna, not be waited on.”
“Oh, don’t you worry. I’ll make sure you are put to work tomorrow,” she said with a wink and a smile. “But you can’t work and catch up with Mattie at the same time. Tonight will be a time to talk and enjoy each other’s company, jah?”
“Jah,” Mattie said instantly. “I must admit that I’m terribly interested in all that you’ve been doing.”
Before Lucy could utter a word, Aunt Jenna nodded her approval. “That’s settled, then. While you two catch up, I’ll bring you some snacks. Are you hungry, Lucy?”
“I am.” Then, noticing her wrinkled dress with some dismay, she murmured, “But soon, I’m afraid, I’m going to need to take a hot shower and get to bed.”
“We can offer you a bed and shower,” Mattie replied with a smile, “but not yet. First, let’s go to my sitting room and visit. I’m in no mood to let you out of my sight.”
They walked through the entryway, past the quiet family room. After crossing another threshold, they entered a beautiful room, lit with two kerosene lamps. One whole side was composed of sparkling clean glass, while another had windows that were open. The warm spring breeze fluttered through the screens, filling the room with the blissful aroma of fresh flowers and cut grass.
Even after they took a seat, Mattie still held her arm. Lucy used the opportunity to take another look at her cousin.
Careful inspection revealed faint smudges under her eyes. She also seemed to hold herself stiffly, as if she was in pain. And underneath her cousin’s bright smile and positive attitude lay something that Lucy could sense . . . a wealth of worries.
It was recognizable. Lucy herself had practiced that smile a lot during her marriage with Paul.
Mattie was not all right at all.
Moments later, Aunt Jenna carried in a finely crafted wooden tray loaded with a bowl of berries and two plates of zucchini bread. “Here you two girls go,” she said. “You enjoy, and relax. I’ll go put your bag in your bedroom, Lucy.”
Lucy stood. “Aunt Jenna, I’ll do that.”
“Nee. I will,” she said airily as she left the room.
“Tell me about your trip,” Mattie said when they were alone again. “What, exactly, caused your train to stop running?”
“I’m not precisely sure. It had an electrical problem or some such thing.” Lucy paused to sip her delicious tea. “At first, I was scared. The rain was pouring, and thunder and lightning ran across the sky. The lights in our car kept going off.”
“Lucy! And with you traveling alone, too!” Mattie set a thick slice of the moist bread on her plate and pushed it her way. “I bet you were terribly afraid.”
After taking a bite, Lucy spoke. “I was, at first. But then I soon realized that the only thing to do was make the best of it. Panicking and fretting didn’t solve any problems.”
“So what did you do? Crochet?”
“Nee!” Lucy replied with a laugh. “At first it was too dark to do much, and then I started talking to an Amish man and his sister.”
“Truly?” Her cousin mused. “I’m surprised about that, I must say. I didn’t think you ever spoke to men, especially to strange ones.”
“I usually don’t, but he was friendly . . . and then it turned out that we had something in common.”
“Oh?”
“He was from right here in Jacob’s Crossing.”
Mattie’s look of surprise mirrored the feelings Lucy had fostered. “Who is it?”
“Calvin Weaver.”
“Oh my word.” Mattie leaned forward, her eyes bright. “Lucy, our families have lived next to each other for years.”
“That’s what he said. I still can’t believe the coincidence.”
Looking at Lucy closely, Mattie said, “So tell me. How did you two get along?”
“At first, things were a little uncomfortable. He’s kind of a gregarious sort, and as you know, I am not.”
“All the boys in his family are,” Mattie said. “Though I would have to say that Calvin is the most outgoing. Loyal is slightly more serious; and Graham, well, Graham is a more introspective sort of person,” she added with a secretive smile. Playfully, Mattie nudged her. “Well, d
on’t be shy, now. What did you and Calvin talk about?”
“This and that.”
“Such as . . .”
“We just talked, I guess. About our families some.”
“Did you tell him about Paul?”
“Of course not. I didn’t even tell him I had been married.”
Mattie raised her brows.
Lucy rushed to explain. “There was no need, you know. It’s not like my past matters to him.”
Over the rim of her mug, Mattie’s eyes twinkled. “Perhaps you two will spend more time together here.”
“I don’t think so.” Her feelings for Calvin were too confusing. The last thing she wanted was to see him again.
“We are neighbors. Of course your paths are bound to cross.”
“He is not the reason I came to Ohio,” she said firmly, gently wrapping an arm around her cousin’s shoulders, enveloping her in a loose hug. “You are the person I want to spend time with.”
“All right.” Mattie clasped one of Lucy’s hands.
Lucy wrapped her other palm around Mattie’s, completely covering her hand. Oh, but Mattie felt so fragile and weak.
A lump formed in her throat. This girl was so different from the Mattie she’d known and loved every summer and Christmas when their families got together. That Mattie was boisterous and fun, almost a practical joker. Always the center of attention, whether she wanted to be or not.
This Mattie was quieter. Right then and there, Lucy made it her goal to help her cousin get back her old spark. “We are going to be busy, Mattie,” she said gently. “In between your doctors’ appointments and chemotherapy treatments, I’m going to make you laugh.”
The muscles in her throat worked as Mattie obviously tried to keep her voice light. “You may regret your vow.”
“Why is that?”
“I’m afraid I haven’t been the easiest patient. I’ve been moody and sullen.” With a thump, Mattie set her mug down. “At times, I fear my parents have not known what to do with me.”
“If you were easy, you wouldn’t be Mattie.”
When her cousin’s expression turned shocked, then offended, then very slowly turned to a spark of amusement, Lucy leaned back on the couch and grinned in relief.
The Caregiver Page 8