“It was definitely an unusual day,” she mumbled.
That surprised a chuckle from Mattie. “I can’t believe you and Calvin were on the same train.”
“It was certainly a twist of fate,” Lucy agreed. “And, of course, Katie was with us.”
Graham smiled at that. “Katie has a way of getting into the middle of every major event.”
“She is a busy girl, that is for sure,” Mattie mused. Darting another quick glance Lucy’s way, she said, “I do hope Calvin will come over soon.”
Sure enough, at the mention of Calvin’s name, Lucy’s cheeks pinkened.
Leaning forward, Graham reached for Mattie’s hand and tucked it between his own work-roughened palms. “Calvin will stop by soon,” he promised. “He’s just been giving you some space.”
“I’ve had plenty of that.”
“Then I’ll tell him it is all right to stop by. I know he wants to see you, Mattie. Every time I come home after seeing you, he asks how you are doing.” Encompassing Lucy into his gaze, he added, “As a matter of fact, he asks how both of you are.”
“Now, isn’t that kind of him?” Mattie glanced Lucy’s way again. Although her cousin looked to be studiously examining a cut on her finger, Mattie knew she was hanging on every word about Calvin. Looking back at Graham, she said, “I know Calvin and I are gut friends . . . but perhaps he wants to see someone else, too?”
His eyes lighting up, Graham nodded. “I would wager he does.”
Lucy bit her lip. “I don’t know about that. We didn’t part on the best of terms.”
“That’s easy enough to fix, don’tcha think?” Mattie asked. Thinking of her cancer, and of the way it had snuck up on her and then taken over her life, she said, “I’m coming to learn that there’s some things that are out of our hands. And some things that aren’t too difficult to take charge of.”
“And you think this is one of those things?” Lucy asked, her tone tinged with sarcasm.
“Absolutely,” Mattie said.
Actually, she knew for a fact that patching things up with Calvin wouldn’t be too difficult at all. Only things involved there were words. Not needles or operations.
Or fear.
As if sensing an internal distress, Graham clasped her hand again and squeezed it gently. Grateful for his touch, Mattie smiled his way. Thank goodness for Graham. Thank goodness for good friends.
Chapter 15
John Weaver knew he was too old to be doing what he was doing—mooning about two women.
“John?” Amos called out, his voice as sharp and biting as a tack. “Are you ever going to help carry the trays inside, or do I need to get someone younger to help?”
Just to give the old guy grief, John said, “Definitely someone younger. Got anyone else in mind?”
“Unfortunately, no,” he answered as John met him in the large kitchen at the back of the building.
“Guess I’ll have to help you out, then . . .”
“Guess so. Pick up the tray and be smart about it.”
Hiding a smile, John picked up the tray loaded with three dozen donuts and followed Amos into the front of the store, where the bakery cases were. Just as he prepared to slide the tray into the glass case, he noticed a pair of customers waiting by the front door. “We’ve got customers already.”
Amos grunted. “No, you have customers. My day is almost done.”
And with that, he disappeared back into the kitchen, leaving John to stride to the front and unlock the door. “Good morning, ladies,” he said.
“Good morning. You kept us waiting long enough,” the elder woman said.
As John turned away and walked back to the counter, he mentally rolled his eyes. Obviously, he was destined to be surrounded by grumpy old folks today! “What may I get you?” he asked as the door chimed, announcing the arrival of two more customers. Thank goodness he’d already brewed two pots of coffee; they were going to need it today.
The elderly lady gazed at the tray that John had just brought in. “This is it? All you have right now are glazed and chocolate-covered?”
“Cinnamon rolls are coming.” That was, if Amos decided to bring them forward.
“I’ll have two chocolate for now. And a cup of coffee.”
As he rung the first pair up, he glanced at the new arrivals, and felt his heart jump. Jayne Donovan was standing there. Smiling at him.
He smiled right back.
“Stop standing around and smiling at women, John,” Amos griped as he carried in a plate of ten cinnamon rolls. “You’ve got customers to attend to.”
John ignored the old guy and smiled at Jayne. “Good morning.”
“Hi, John,” she said, her eyes sparkling. “I see you’re pretty busy today.”
“Well, I’m busy getting yelled at.”
To his pleasure, she laughed. “I have to go right to work, so can I have one of those rolls to go?”
“Sure.”
“I’ll get it,” Amos interjected. “You help the next folks.”
With some surprise, John realized that while he’d been smiling at Jayne like a lovesick pup, even more people had come through the door. Including that woman. The Amish woman.
Unbidden, his mouth went dry. “Gut matin,” he murmured.
Her eyes widened and a beautiful sheen of roses lit her cheeks. “And gut matin to you, John. May I have a glazed donut?”
“Of course.” As he handed her one, he looked behind her. “Your son isn’t with you today?”
“Nee. He’s at school.” She paused, then handed him a dollar.
Their fingers touched as the money was exchanged. John was sure he was imagining things, but he could have sworn he felt a little spark between them.
Just as he was thinking about that, Jayne stepped into his line of vision. “John, I hope you have a good day. Bye!”
He lifted his hand and waved her off. “Come back soon,” he said.
Behind him, Amos grunted. “Oh, brother.”
John felt his cheeks heat. He didn’t blame the old guy one bit. “Sorry.”
“It’s all right,” Amos said, his eyes merry. “But there are still customers in line, Romeo.”
John scowled, and would have said something, but just then he noticed the Amish woman was walking away. And he still didn’t know her name!
Stepping out from around the counter, he walked quickly toward her. “Excuse me. Miss?”
She turned. “Yes?”
“What’s your name?”
Behind him, Amos coughed.
“Mary,” she murmured with a smile, before walking out the door.
Mary. Well, now. That suited her, he thought as he walked back to the counter. She really was lovely, and so peaceful looking.
Amos harrumphed. “John? You working?”
“Settle down,” John snapped, then turned to the next customer. “May I help you?”
And so it continued, while in the back of his mind he wondered what the good Lord was up to. For twenty years, he’d had little to no interest in any woman. Now, all the sudden, he seemed to be attracted to two. One English, one Amish.
It seemed the Lord definitely had a sense of humor.
Another week had passed—and with it, another chemotherapy treatment. In between had been a blur of doctors’ visits, blood tests, and nausea.
And, for Lucy, worry. She’d so wanted to help Mattie feel better, to help keep her spirits strong. But no matter what she did, her efforts paled in comparison to the sickness that had taken hold of her cousin’s body. Mattie’s skin was pallid and there were dark circles under her eyes.
But still she tried her best. “Things will get better, Mattie. I promise, they will.”
“I doubt it.”
“We can’t give up hope, dear. Come, let’s pray.”
“Not now,” she mumbled, just as her body was racked by fierce tremors. “Lucy, I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”
Lucy bit her bottom lip to keep her voice smoo
th and strong. And to hide her worry and anxiety. “You must.”
“But the doctor didn’t say it would be this bad.”
“Ach. We both know it isn’t the doctor who knows everything. It is the nurses, jah?”
Mattie shivered again. “What did the nurses say, then? I don’t remember.”
“They said this time the chemo might make you sick. They said, for a lot of patients, the second treatment is worse than the first.”
“Then they were right about that.”
Mattie wrapped her arms around herself as she curled up on the couch. “Lucy, I am sorry. I thought I would be a better patient for you.”
“That is not why I came here, and you know it. I came to tend to you, not to sit and twiddle my thumbs.”
A lone tear slipped down her sweet cousin’s cheek as she looked her way. “I know you don’t mind, but I hate the idea of you seeing me like this. All I seem to be able to do is shake and throw up. It’s all awful.”
It was awful, but not in the way Mattie thought. It was awful to see her dear cousin suffer so. “It’s no worse than what you’ve done for me,” she said quietly. “Remember when you came to help me cook?”
“Because your arm was in a cast?” Mattie nodded. “Of course.”
“During that visit, you helped me more than I can say.”
Mattie turned her way. “Ah, now I know you are feelin’ flustered. Otherwise you wouldn’t have spoken of that time.”
Mattie was right. Rarely did Lucy ever choose to speak of her married life. And especially not the days when she’d been at her lowest. When Paul had made her life so miserable she’d wondered what had ever made her hope for a life next to Paul’s side. “Though I may not talk of it, I haven’t forgotten how good you were to me.”
“How good was I?” Mattie mused weakly. “I never said a word to the rest of the family about just how bad he hurt you.” After a moment, she added, “If I had, maybe he would’ve stopped.”
Lucy knew full and well that Paul never would have stopped. “You didn’t tell anyone because I asked you not to. Besides, what could you have done?” There had been no hope for any way out of her rocky marriage.
“My daed would’ve tried to help . . .”
Her uncle would have been no match for Paul’s will—or for her marriage vows. Besides, no lecture from her relatives would’ve stopped what happened when she and Paul were alone. “Shhh, Mattie. Do not speak of it.”
“But—”
“Nee. It’s all over now. There’s no need to worry yourself.” She didn’t want to talk about the past. Didn’t want to have to say that she had been very aware that most people in their family and her friends had had an extremely good idea of what went on in her marriage.
After all, while Paul had done his worst in private, he’d been open about his lack of respect for her. It didn’t matter who was around to witness his jabs—it was a rare day when she had ever been good enough for him.
Beside her Mattie shifted again. “I feel like my body’s on fire.”
“What can I do? Do you want some ice? Some cold compresses?”
“Nee. I’m sick and tired of ice.”
“Water? Juice?” She thought hard. “I brought some sodas home from the store. Do you remember how last time the soda helped your stomach?”
“I don’t want anything to drink.”
“Okay, then.”
Minutes passed. Almost a half hour.
Then, just when Lucy wondered if Mattie had finally begun to sleep, Mattie spoke. “Lucy, would you mind going next door to get Graham?”
“Graham Weaver? Why do you need him?”
“Because he’s my best friend in the world.”
“And here I thought your best friend was me,” Lucy teased. “I came all the way here from Michigan, don’t you know.”
As Lucy had hoped, Mattie chuckled. “And I’ll never forget your journey, neither. But I’d still be grateful if you went and got Graham for me.”
Lucy was just going to warn Mattie that her request was foolish. That all Graham could do was everything Lucy could—but then Mattie spoke again, her voice wistful and sweet. “Graham will sit with me for hours.”
“I can sit with you, Mattie—”
“I know. It’s just, he’s a gut friend.” After a ragged breath, Mattie looked Lucy in the eye. “Even if you don’t understand why I want him, would you still go see if he can stop by?”
Lucy got to her feet. “Of course. I’ll go now.” Leaning closer, she whispered, “But be warned. I’m going to tell your mother that I’m leaving you alone.”
A weak smile lit Mattie’s face. “I am willing to even put up with an hour of constant questioning and chatter in order to see Graham. Oh, I hope he’ll be able to come over.”
“He will,” Lucy promised. After everything that Mattie had done for her, Lucy was willing to do whatever it took to bring Graham back over.
Even taking the chance of seeing his brother Calvin again.
Chapter 16
Lucy’s pulse was beating loud, and she found herself checking and double-checking the state of her clothing while she approached the Weaver farm.
And wouldn’t you know it? Her palms were damp, too.
All were signs of one thing: She was near Calvin.
Oh, but this wouldn’t do. She was no innocent young girl. She’d already trusted a man based on charm and good looks—and had regretted that decision almost immediately. Surely that experience had taught her something?
Anything?
Schooling her features, she marched up to their front door and knocked. All she needed to do was relay the message and be on her way.
That was all.
“Lucy? Hi.”
“Hi.” Oh . . . against her best intentions, she was becoming tongue-tied around him again.
Standing in the shadow of the doorway, Calvin Weaver looked exactly as wonderful and handsome as he had every time their paths had crossed. Today his shirt was dark blue and it brought out the color of his eyes. For a moment, Lucy’s breath hitched as she was drawn again to his deep, almost mesmerizing voice.
His head tilted to one side. “Is there a reason you stopped by?”
Instead of standing and staring at him? With effort, she pushed herself back to reality. “Actually, I’m here for Mattie. She asked to see Graham. Is he here?”
His gaze clouded for a moment, then cleared with a new resolve in his eyes. “Graham? Oh, of course.” He stepped forward, joining her on the front porch. “Is Mattie all right?”
“I’m afraid she’s having a tough time of it today. She’s feeling sick and achy and sad. All she wants at the moment is Graham’s company. I’m hoping he’ll oblige her.”
“I know he’ll drop everything if she needs him . . .”
Just imagining such a thing made Lucy turn wistful. Were there men like that? Men who put women’s needs before their own?
Once again, their eyes met. Held too long. As if embarrassed, Calvin finally looked away and cleared his throat.
“Graham is in the barn,” he said, pointing toward his left.
Following the direction of his hand, she prepared to step back and walk away. It didn’t matter how she felt when she was around him, she had a duty to perform and that duty didn’t include investigating her feelings toward Calvin. “Danke.”
“Wait! I, uh . . . I was just heading that way. How about I take you there?”
“You have time?” Oh, but she was grasping at just about anything in order to spend time with him!
“Of course I do. Or I could just tell him to go see Mattie for you. Spare you the trouble.”
Walking the fifty steps or so wouldn’t be much trouble. But being in Calvin’s company a little bit longer might be, Lucy knew. If she left right away, Lucy could return to that retreat she’d built for herself. There in that safe place she would pretend she was functioning just fine. That she didn’t need other people to be happy. That she didn’t need anothe
r man in her life to complicate things. There, everything was as it should be.
Was as she’d hoped it would be.
Lord knew, she’d just been writing about that in her diary!
But, sometime during the past year, Lucy knew she’d also started to trust herself again. Oh, she was far from the vivacious woman she’d been before marrying Paul. But maybe—just maybe—she wasn’t quite as skittish as she used to be.
Maybe she wasn’t as fearful of her emotions. Or as fearful of other men. “Lucy, are you all right?”
“I’m sorry, I was woolgathering. You know, if you could go speak to Graham for me, I would be most grateful. I need to get back to Mattie. I would hate for her to be alone much longer.”
“Ah. I’ll go tell Graham, then.” But still he paused. Searching her face, looking for encouragement.
And, oh, she yearned to give him that—but it wouldn’t be good for her. Nor was it what she should be concentrating on. Keep your mind on your task, Lucy, she cautioned herself. That’s what is important.
“Please don’t forget to tell him to hurry. I mean, if he can come at all.”
“I won’t forget.”
When she raised a hand to tell him goodbye, he shook his head.
“The least I could do is walk you to your buggy.”
“That’s not necessary—”
“It’s on the way, yes?”
“You’re right. I . . . Danke.”
He closed the door behind him, and they set out, first walking under the few feet of covered porch before strolling out into the April sun.
Calvin smiled her way as they approached her buggy, parked in the shadows of the barn so the horse could stand in relative comfort. “So . . . are you settled in okay at your cousin’s house?”
“I am. Well, as much as I can, I suppose. There’s a lot to do . . .” Her voice trailed off.
“I imagine so.”
“How is Katie? And how is your uncle doing here? Is he enjoying being back in Jacob’s Crossing?”
Calvin chuckled. “Katie is as she always is—a handful. And my uncle, I believe he’s settling in fine.”
“He’s happy to be back here on the farm?”
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