by K. A. Gandy
“Sometimes, I just want to be normal again. I wasn’t joking, earlier. I know it doesn’t help to throw a pity party, but don’t you ever think about it, Patrick? What would life be like if we just stayed here?”
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but he lets me talk.
“I know we have responsibilities, but, if things are going to change anyways, maybe it doesn’t have to be us who bears those responsibilities. We could just be you and me. No expectations, no political games, no pressure.” I sigh, knowing it’s not realistic even as I say the words. “It’s not home, and Helena’s a pain. But the people are nice and friendly. They’re normal people, even if they live a different way than we do. Not one person has tried to pressure us, or butt into our family. They’ve just accepted us as we are. No expectations. When is the last time that has happened for either of us?”
“Be honest with yourself, Sadie. You know there’s no way you could deal with Helena permanently. You look like you want to strangle her every time you’re in the same room together,” he says dryly.
“Okay, so maybe not here. I’d miss my family too much, anyway. But back in Jackson Flats, it could. We’d have family there, and friends if Nell convinced Atlas to go back.”
He reaches out for one of my hands, and I give him the one under the pillow. He slowly runs his fingertips along my palm, soothing me with the simple touch. “I have thought about it. What it would be like, if you were a normal girl, and I was a normal boy. And we fell in love two hundred years ago, before any of this mattered. It would have been a gloriously simple life. Because I believe we’d still find each other, in any time, in any life. But this, right here and now, is the life we were given.”
I let his words sink in, and deep down I don’t disagree. “Do you have to accept the throne? In the past, there were ways someone could step down. Just because your father accepted the throne, doesn’t mean you have to, right?” My voice comes out small, quiet in the dark.
“I’m sure there is a way.” His voice is hesitant, telling me all I need to know.
“I understand.” I try to sound light, and airy, even though it feels like a lead weight has been tied around my neck, and I’ve been tossed into the deep end of a pool. The life you knew is gone, Sadie. There’s no use wishing for something different now.
“We don’t have to decide any time soon. My father is still a young man, in good health. He’ll rule for years before we would be expected to step up. By then, we’ll know the right thing to do.”
“I hope so,” I whisper as he climbs from the bed to don his pajamas, but he doesn’t hear me.
Med Check
We’re up before dawn to start the journey to the safe house, so Paige can meet the king’s doctors. Mav looks solemn as they load the heavily pregnant woman on a stretcher into her aircraft, not making a single wisecrack as we load behind them. Patrick is last in line to board, and Mav puts out a hand to stop him before he can climb the steps. I stop and turn, halfway up, to hear what she has to say.
“This is a real’ good thing you’re doing, hea’. I know they gave you a hard time, but that poor baby’s real’ sick, and I’m proud to help y’all today.” Her voice cracks at the end, and it’s the first hint of emotion I’ve ever seen from her.
“I feel the same way, Maverick. We appreciate your help, and we’re glad we can help at least this one mother and child. Hopefully soon we’ll help them all.”
She nods. “Well, a’right then. Let’s go get her some help.” Patrick gives her a smile and nod in return, before boarding the plane.
Without further ado, Mav brushes past us to the front, and shuts the cockpit door behind her. A moment later the engines hum to life, and her voice flicks over the speaker. “Somebody holler when the patient is secure for takeoff.”
I sit next to Patrick in one of the far back seats, and as we buckle in, he says, “She’s good people.”
“That she is,” I agree.
We watch in contemplative silence as the two doctors in ubiquitous black hover around her, checking vitals and securing machinery for the flight. After what feels like an eternity, they’re satisfied. One settles in at her head, and straps into a harness while the other raps twice on the cockpit door before coming back to settle in towards the middle of her gurney, which I can now see they attached to a permanent anchor in the floor of the plane.
Mav wastes no time in getting us airborne, and the now-familiar lurch stays with me long after we’ve left the ground. Thankfully, it’s a short flight to Colkanska, and Patrick thought ahead and procured me some of the lemon-ginger soda that I fell in love with back at the Missiana safe house. I sip it slowly, savoring the flavor and listening to the beep of medical equipment over the steady drone of the airplane. We’ve been on a lot of flights, but this is the most somber our team has spent together. I send up a silent prayer for the doctors to help Paige when we arrive, and close my eyes, soda resting on my knee.
Not two minutes later—or so it seems—Patrick gives my shoulder a gentle shake. “What is it? Just resting my eyes until we land,” I mumble.
“Sadie, we already landed, and they’ve unloaded Paige. We’ve got to move to the van.”
I rub my eyes groggily. “Okay, I’m coming.” I try to stand, but in my sleep-addled state I forget that I’m buckled in. “Oof, ow.”
He chuckles. “Hang on, speedy.” I feel the backs of his knuckles as he patiently unbuckles me, and then offers me a hand up, which I gladly accept.
With a sigh, I follow him off the plane. A mid-sized white transport awaits us, with a different set of medical staff already waiting to take over Paige’s care, just as Atlas arranged. There’s an open space in back where she’s placed, and they hover around her gurney, taking vitals. Patrick leads me to the front, which has normal passenger seating, and an already-snacking Nell.
“Good morning, sunshine!” she sing-songs, and I shake my head at her.
“Just wait until it’s your turn, Nell. And I’ll remember this constant cheeriness.”
She snorts, “I’m pretty sure we’ll be honeymooners forever, right MM?” She elbows Atlas, and he shrugs one shoulder without concern. “Not everyone is fertile Myrtle like you, and I’m okay with that—I’ve got other plans.”
My interest is piqued. “Oh, yeah? What kind of plans?”
She blushes. “Well, I think I’d like to be a doctor. Atlas says he could get me training, even though I haven’t had a baby yet. Or, you know, that you and Patrick might grant me a waiver? No pressure, I mean. I get that there’s rules, and you can’t give me special treatment. But, if I pass all the classes Atlas can get me, I’ll have proven that I’m capable by then, and might be eligible for a work study waiver.” She rushes through the last part, as if she expects us to laugh at her.
I look at Patrick. “Is that a thing we can do? Give waivers, so women can study what they want?”
He nods in confirmation. “Usually, there has to be a specific reason, such as a death in the family with no other heirs to take over a business that’s necessary for a community’s survival. However, there are workarounds, especially if a woman shows an exceptional aptitude for an in-demand profession, and her husband doesn’t object.”
I shoot him a dark look, and he quickly amends, “Not my rule, just stating it as I remember.”
Looking back at Nell, hope mixed with disappointment in her expression, dishwater-blonde curls still in a wild tangle from our early morning, I make a snap decision.
“Nell, I hereby grant you a waiver to study the profession of your choosing, at the time of your choosing. You’ve more than earned it, and if your husband objects I’ll kick him in the kneecap.” I wink at Atlas, who’s unconcerned by my threat.
“Uhm, it doesn’t sound like you’re allowed to do that, Sadie,” Nell points out.
I turn back to Patrick. “That rule was from before there was a monarchy in the North American Alliance, right Prince Patrick?”
“Err, yes?”
Her grin spreads ear-to-ear, and she bounces in her seat for a second. “Oh, my gosh, you are such a cool bestie. Can you rule anything you want? Because I’ve got ideas,” she says heavily, with a wink.
I roll my eyes at her insinuation. “No, I think this will be a worthy-causes-only sort of situation.”
Atlas trades a weighty glance with Patrick before tipping his head in my direction. “You cool with this turn of events?”
He gives me a long look, and I know he’s remembering our talk last night, and I feel instantly bashful at my sudden change of heart. “Yep, one hundred percent okay with it. She won’t abuse it.” He kisses me on the top of the head, and hands me another soda.
Nell instantly starts rattling off all of the training classes she wants to take and talking about how cool it is watching the doctors working with the pregnant women. Her happiness and excitement are infectious, and I smile as she talks our ears clean off. Before long, she’s convinced Glitch to hack into the National College database, to get her a list of courses to become an obstetric specialist.
Maybe this royalty thing won’t be so bad, after all.
✽✽✽
The safe house is teeny tiny. It’s only got one bedroom, one bathroom, and a large open living area which Atlas’s team has turned into a miniature hospital over the last few days. It’s impressive what they’ve pulled off, so far off the beaten path. The king’s doctor is poring over Paige’s chart and checking the recordings on all of the machinery she’s hooked to. We’ve been here nearly two hours, and he hasn’t touched her yet except to take her vitals when we first arrived. Mav and the Resistance doctors are probably already back at their compound by now.
I heave a sigh, and stare back out the window. It’s flat as a pancake here and it reminds me of home, except the trees are all wrong. Back home it’s all pines and palms, not whatever these trees are.
“Okay, I believe I have a diagnosis, but further testing will be required to confirm it. Due to the extended period of time she’s been receiving the paralytic medication, it has suppressed her natural responses indefinitely.”
That doesn’t sound good. “Can you help her?”
He looks grim. “The exams so far are inconclusive. We’ll need to do extensive testing to see if we can get micro-responses to stimuli before pushing a full round of reversal medication. The normal reversal tried by your counterparts wasn’t incorrect, just insufficient. Her utter lack of response isn’t a good sign. However, we’ve got a more pressing matter to attend to; she’ll be ready to deliver this baby sooner than we’ll be able to complete the necessary tests and treatment to wake her. Given her lack of response to stimuli, we’ll need to surgically deliver the baby. I need to know how you’d like to proceed with care of the child, and—”
My guts twist, and I suddenly feel hot. “I— I’m going to go take a walk.” I dart out the door, without waiting for an answer from anyone.
I walk among the thin-barked trees, and do my best to block it all out. Apparently, when the going gets too real, I need to walk it off. Staying in that room and listening to the doctor cordially lay out how he was going to cut her open and remove the baby she had no idea existed . . . well, it was too much. I lay a hand on my own stomach, and worry floods my thoughts.
How am I going to protect my own child from this same fate? If it’s a boy, he’ll rule the world one day, but if it’s a girl, Patrick’s title won’t matter one bit. She’ll still be expected to marry and have babies and get matched to a stranger one day, when she’s old enough. Assuming we manage to protect her, and what will undoubtedly be rare, pure genes. She’ll be hunted, just like I’ve been.
Resolve hardens in my chest. No, she won’t. If I have to become queen myself to change things, I won’t let this happen to her.
Turning on my heel, I march back to the tiny safe house with new steel in my spine. For myself, I might not want a crown. But for my baby? I’d walk through hell and back without blinking an eye, and I hadn’t even met him or her yet.
I let myself back in the front door, and Patrick looks relieved to see me. I cross to his side and give his hand a reassuring squeeze. The doctor is still talking, but it seems like they’ve finished discussing Paige’s care, and moved onto Nell asking about his training. I stifle a smile at her enthusiasm.
“Excuse me, doctor?”
He turns to face me. “Yes, Sadie, is it?”
“Yes. Do you think—” I pause, finding the words hard to say in the moment. “Do you have what’s needed here to do an initial pregnancy health check?”
“Of course. We have everything needed here to care for any stage of pregnancy, per the king’s orders.” He gestures vaguely at the wall of gleaming white machines lined up against the pale yellow wall.
“Fantastic. When you’re done with Paige’s care, would you mind checking me out? I’m pregnant, and we haven’t been able to do any of the initial tests yet. We’d just like to know the baby is healthy, and everything is progressing well, if possible.”
His gray eyebrows nearly shoot off his forehead in surprise. “Why, of course. As I discussed with the rest of your party, we won’t be delivering the baby right away. So, now is as good a time as any. If I’m not mistaken, you’re the king’s new daughter-in-law, correct? He didn’t mention this joyous news.”
Patrick interjects, “He doesn’t know yet, and we’d appreciate you keeping this to yourself for the time being.”
“Of course, sir. Doctor-patient confidentiality still applies,” he says tightly. When no one says anything further, he gestures to a chair next to the wall of machinery. “Let’s get started with a blood draw. Are you squeamish?”
Oh boy.
Egress
“You and the baby are both healthy, according to everything we can tell at this stage,” the doctor says, snapping off his gloves. “Congratulations. This is excellent news for you both, as well as the entire NAA.”
Relief floods my limbs, and I gaze up at Patrick to see a matching expression on his face. The smile he gives me is huge, stretched ear-to-ear.
One of the machines behind the doctor dings, and he turns, and presses a button. “Ahh! Your blood tests are finished, too. Would you like to know the sex of the baby?” He turns back toward us with a smile.
“Yes!”
“No!” Patrick and I blurt at the same time.
Nell hollers from the seats across the room, “I vote yes!”
“You don’t get a vote, Nell,” Atlas says blandly, saving us the trouble.
“Rude,” she says, but doesn’t look offended. She’s still too hopped up on excitement about training to be a doctor.
A knock on the door saves us from continuing the discussion, and the doctor’s face falls. “Perhaps another time. You have my contact information if you decide you’d like to know.”
Atlas crosses and opens the door, letting in the secondary medical staff. “Our transport back to the airstrip is ready, if you two are done?”
Patrick looks at me, before nodding. “Yep, time to head back. Paige is in good hands.” We all turn to look one last time where she’s laid out on the bed, still asleep.
I walk to her side one last time and give her hand a squeeze and lean down to whisper in her ear, “We’re doing our best for you, Paige. Fight to meet your baby. Fight to wake up, you’re safe now.” I run a hand across her hair, smoothing it away from her face, and for a moment, it seems like one of her eyes twitches, but then nothing.
I place her hand gently back on the bed beside her and follow our group back out to the white transport, and back to reality.
Five minutes later, we’re on the road and discussing Paige’s future.
“It sucks he couldn’t wake her up. I thought as a specialist he’d be able to wave a magic wand.”
Glitch s
norts. “He’s a physician, not a magician.”
“But still, he’s the top of his field. It’s just a letdown. It’s depressing to think even when we get them out, they still may not get to live their lives again. I wanted all four of the women we saved to be saved, that’s all.”
“I did too, hon,” Atlas murmurs.
The rest of the transport ride is a somber affair, with each of us lost in our own thoughts. It’s so bittersweet. Our baby is healthy, and I feel like I can breathe a huge sigh of relief. But my heart hurts for Paige, and I can’t help but go down the terrible rabbit hole of how many more women we may rescue, only to be too late.
We pull up at the airstrip, and all pile out to find Mav’s out of the cockpit and checking something on the front of the plane.
“Everything okay, Mav?” Atlas calls out when he notices her eyeing the nose of the aircraft.
“Yeah, I think it’ll be okay, we smacked a bird on the way back, just doing an extra preflight to make sure there’s no damage. The plane does it automatically, but I’m old-fashioned. Jus’ like to be thorough when you’re going to be in the air. It ain’t a car, you can’t just pull over if there’s a problem.”
“Well, this day keeps getting better. Poor bird,” Nell mutters darkly.
“I know. How often do you think that happens?” I ask, never having considered it before.
Atlas crosses to her side, to join her in checking the plane over, and the rest of us take the moment to stretch our tired limbs.
“How is it that the less you do, the more tired you are?” I ask Patrick.
He chuckles. “It’s been an emotional day. That takes it out of you.”
“True,” I agree, giving him a small smile. He snags me around the waist and leans in for a kiss.
“Patrick, there are people here.” I give him a playful smack on the shoulder, and he grins at me happily. It’s infectious, and I grin right back at him.
“I don’t care,” he says simply, and kisses me right there on the tarmac. Within a heartbeat, I get lost in him, completely forgetting the people, the cold, the long, emotional day. All I know is Patrick, and his lips warm on mine, and tingles down to the tips of my toes.