The Masquerade

by Rae, Alexa

  "I live with my mom." I said quietly.

  His arms wrapped around me. He pulled me into his lap and I molded myself to his form. His lips touched my neck when he whispered, "You don't have to tell me."

  I tilted my head up so that I could meet his gaze, "Even after I asked," he silenced me with peck on my lips that was intended to be quick, but drawled into a slow kiss that I refused to let him pull away from.

  "I wanted you to know," he whispered against my lips.

  "And I want you to know about me too," I said pulling away so that I could look into his eyes. "It's just hard for me to talk about it."

  He nodded. "I know. You can tell me whenever it feels right and I'll do whatever it takes to make it painless." I smiled pulling an image of us together, in bed, tangled between sheets. I would tell him everything as he ran his fingers through my hair. The thought was more than tempting.

  "Whatever it takes?" I asked lightly.

  He nodded and gave me a quick kiss. "Whatever it takes."

  "Clothes won't be required."

  "Don't go there," he muttered darkly into my ear. "I'll take you right here in the woods if you keep talking like that me."

  I shuddered. "Why is that turning me on?"

  He leaned his forehead into mine. I watched him squeeze his eyes shut. I imagined him trying to flush whatever image he had in his head that was tempting him. My hands found their way underneath his shirt. I dragged my fingers over his chest, listening in satisfaction to his shallow groans.

  "Don't," he told me sternly, but I ignored him and continued my pursuit.

  When my hands neared the hem of his shirt he snatched them away, holding my wrists in his hands to restrain me. His eyes hardened as they bore into mine. "I'm trying to be good."

  I moistened my bottom lip with my tongue. "I don't want you to be good," I pouted, my voice dropping a notch. "Be bad to me."

  His eyes widened for a second before he shook his head, composing himself. "You're going to pay for that." I assumed he meant right away but he suddenly stood up and pulled me to my feet with him. He laughed at the sight of my disappointment and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me against his chest.

  "You've told me over and over that you know nothing about me. I tell you a little about my family and you want to get in my pants," he remarked in amusement.

  I rolled my eyes. "Most guys wouldn't hesitate to my request."

  "If you were just some other girl I wouldn't. But you're not and if you were, you wouldn't be here right now." His emphasis of here was referring to more than just the sacred place he brought me to. I didn't question it. I knew I wouldn't get a satisfying answer.

  I leaned my head against his chest allowing myself to lean into his embrace. There wasn't another place in the world I could have felt more at home than in Ben's arms. Everything I knew and everything I believed was changing faster than I could comprehend. My guard was down and I didn't care.

  I didn't believe in love, but now I was beginning to think I just never wanted to believe in it. I was feeling things I never felt before. I desired him in a way that I thought was only found in movies. The contact of his skin against mine wasn't enough. I craved more to the point of starvation. Every second that passed with him was greater than the last.

  I was in love.

  His arms tightened around me. "I lived in New York City for most of my life. My mother was a closet musician. She encouraged me to tap into my music genes before I learned how to walk. When they died I had nothing left so I moved here for a while to seclude myself in my music. That's how I found this place."

  I smiled and whispered softly, "Music saved you."

  I felt him shake his head. "It healed me." He pressed his lips into my hair. "I don't have any pets because I'm always on tour, but there is a cat that hangs around my house in L.A. I don't like cats but we've come to a mutual understanding."

  I laughed, picturing a six-foot something rock star chasing a stubborn cat out of his house. "What's his name?"

  "Punk."

  I laughed and lifted my head to meet his gaze. His smile was wide and his blue eyes were open, staring down at me in the same admiration I saw a few nights before. I fell in love with that look, somehow knowing he saved it only for me.

  His hands slid down my arms. One of them took mine, and our fingers instantly entwined. He took a step back and led me over the bridge and to the opening in the forest where we had come from. I didn't want to go home, but it was still a school night and I had two tests tomorrow.

  "I'm all about black, but my favorite color is lime green." My eyebrows rose in surprise. He looked over his shoulder as though he expected that reaction. He laughed. "I drink more cups of coffee than I can count. I like pizza with everything on it and wild berry pop tarts are my weakness."

  I giggled. "Good to know."

  "I think Kurt Cobain was a legend, but my favorite band is Brand New." He turned to me. "I found them on your music playlist and I'd be lying if I said it didn't turn me on."

  Something in my stomach flipped over. Before I could hesitate I sang my favorite lyrics from Brand New. "Well take me, take me back to your bed," I sang lightly. "I love you so much that it hurts my head. Say I don't mind you under my skin. I'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in."

  Ben joined in with me, his raspy voice a stark contrast to mine. "When we were made we were set apart. Life is a test and I get bad marks. Now some saint got the job of writing down my sins."

  "The storm is coming," I sang.

  Ben carried the repeat, matching the lead singer's rugged scream. "The storm is coming."

  I didn't carry into the next final chorus. Ben tugged my hand and I was pulled against his side. In one swift motion, he tilted my chin up with his thumb and kissed me like he had before when I was beneath him. "Your voice is mesmerizing." I heard him say against my lips before he pulled away.

  My cheeks warmed and I looked away to hide my smile. Even though I was past Ben the awkward stage of being in the presence of a rock star, it was still a huge deal receiving that sort of compliment from an amazing musician.

  "Ditto," I told him, holding my smile.

  We slipped into the woods, hand in hand, leaving the serenity of the night behind us. Ben moved carefully, strategically choosing paths that were easier for me to follow, avoiding the decrepit logs and tangled vines with protruding thorns. Ben raised our entwined hands and kissed the back of my hand. I turned to him, pressing my lips together to hide the giddy smile that I felt exploding within me.

  "Your turn." Ben said, his blue eyes piercing mine.

  "Okay," I faced forward again. "I'm a Parkway Drive fan and besides yours, my favorite concert was Chelsea Grin, but I also worship Lana Del Rey and Amy Lee. I actually love coffee and pizza, specifically buffalo chicken pizza and my mom reminds constantly that I put too much sweetener in my coffee, but I tend to pour double behind her back."

  Ben laughed. "You eat cotton candy ice cream for dinner,"

  "Never without sprinkles," I interrupted, secretly gloating in the fact that he remembered the ice cream I ordered that night.

  "With sprinkles," Ben amended smiling. He looked down at me. "Sugar addict?"

  I shrugged. "I'm not ashamed."

  "There are worse things." He nodded.

  "Yeah, I could be a nymphomaniac." I muttered, holding back a grin.

  Ben shot me a bemused look. I met his eyes with a sweet smile and he laughed again. We continued back to his motorcycle discussing our likes and dislikes. We agreed on many things while disagreeing on many aspects that resulted in our laughter. There was an obvious chill in the air whenever I was with Ben and it wasn't the cold, but inside of me warmth radiated to the depths of my core and it was only present when he was with me.

  Ben dropped me off at my house, but before he let me leave he pushed me up on his bike and kissed me like he was trying to make the moment last for the next twenty-four hours until we'd see each other again. After unw
rapping my legs from around his waist I managed to find my way up the driveway without falling over. Ben's kisses left my knees week and my hands jittery. My dog barked from inside the house and I whispered loudly for him to shut it, hoping Adam wouldn't wake up. It was close to midnight and the boy, oddly enough, got to bed on time.

  "Goodnight, Ben." I called from the porch. He was leaning against his motorcycle with his arms crossed. His features were intense and his blue eyes smoldering as he watched me. He lifted his head up and cocked a crooked smile.

  "Goodnight, Ella."

  It wasn't until I locked myself in my house when I heard the rumble of his motorcycle's engine fading down the street. My chest tightened as I thought through the kisses we shared throughout the evening and felt as though I would lose it if I didn't feel his lips against mine soon. Ben told me he was going to pick me up again tomorrow. I would go to bed, unable to sleep with my thoughts drifting to the anticipation of tomorrow.

  Nineteen

  I twirled the hall pass around my finger, quietly humming the tune to a song I'd listened to on my drive to school that morning. One of the large wooden doors pushed open behind me and slammed shut. I didn't pay much attention until a familiar voice I hadn't heard in years called my name.

  "Ella?"

  I whirled around. "Kellan?" I questioned, my eyes growing wide in a mixture of confusion and surprise.

  One of my brother's closest best friends stood before me with a smile warming his matured face. The last time I saw him he had acne scars and a boyish figure. Now he was past six feet tall and packed some meat on his bones. His light brown hair was brushed off to one side exactly the way I remembered it.

  I took off into a sprint and threw myself into his arms. He staggered back a little, but wrapped his arms around my shoulders holding me tightly and chuckling. "How's my favorite Powerpuff Girl?"

  I groaned while I pulled away from him. "You're seriously never going to let me live that down, are you?"

  He brought his hands to his hips and I instantly recognized the familiar posture I was frequently known to present to anyone in my younger years. When he stuck his lower lip out in a pout I noticed the broken sore on the corner of his lip that was swelling. He'd gotten into a fight.

  "My name is not Ella, it's Bubbles," he horribly mimicked the seven year old girl I once was.

  Laughing, I put my hands to my face in embarrassment. "I can't believe I made you guys role play as that silly evil monkey."

  "Yeah and if we didn't do it right you bit us," he added, laughing.

  "That was one time!" I smacked his shoulder. He purposely flinched and hit me lightly on the arm with the back of his hand.

  "You look good, Ella."

  The circumstances of our encounter came back to me and I frowned looking around the empty school hallway. "What the heck are you doing here? You graduated like six years ago." He opened his mouth, but another voice cut him off short.

  "Who is that sweet honey you're talkin' to? She looks like sex on a stick."

  Like Kellan's, I knew that voice immediately. I turned to my right where the men's restroom was to see Chester walking towards me with his usual sloppy grin that I almost forgotten. It was the type of lazy smile that hung off his face, but the sight could make anyone's day.

  "Chesta' the Molesta'," I put my hands to my hips and leaned back. "Are you flirting with me?"

  He shook his head. His curly hair draped over his eyes. It looked as though he hadn't cut his flaming red hair since the last time I saw him. Everything about him looked the same. His face was decorated with freckles and his skin was still ghostly pale. He wasn't a very attractive guy. In fact, when he laughed his face scrunched up and he looked like some kind of wet naked mole rat. The visual was a strange one, but it fit him perfectly. His looks weren't his selling point, but his sense of humor was. Chester was the kind of guy that had you choking on your own laughter while rolling on the floor with soda streaming out of your nose.

  "Honey please, you know I only aim to tease." He opened up his arms and I jumped into them, holding onto my brother's other best friend.

  The three of them were the strangest group of kids growing up, my brother, the star football player, Kellan, the stoner, and Chester...the Molester. He was harmless, but his junior year of high school he was almost arrested for barely looking at some kid the wrong way in a public bathroom. The kid's father flipped out on him and almost called the cops. Everyone knew it wasn't Chester. The poor guy just looked like a pedophile with his Carrot Top hair and lanky figure. After that, rather than hiding in embarrassment he owned his nickname. It was a strange, almost sick joke, but if you took one look at Chester you understood.

  "Seriously, what are you guys doing here?" Something told me the administration wasn't aware of their visit and I was worried they would be caught for trespassing. The thought reminded me that I told the substitute I was going to the bathroom. I should have been back ten minutes ago. I would have to resort to menstrual cramps. He was a male teacher, which meant no questions asked. It was a power every female should take to her advantage.

  Kellan and Chester both exchanged hesitant glances, before turning to me. Kellan's mouth twisted into a hard smile that immediately told me whatever he said he was going to hold something back. I hadn't seen them in years, but I grew up with the guys. They were practically my brothers and I knew their quirks well.

  "We were actually just leaving," Kellan said when his gaze suddenly shifted above my head. "We got nothing, Eli."

  Eli? I spun around and locked eyes with my ex who stood a few feet away from me, his arms crossed over his chest. He tilted his head to the side, sparing me a moment's glance before he adverted his attention to the guys.

  "They were here earlier." Eli stated calmly, but the frustration was evident in his brown eyes. "They're not passing through. They want something."

  I frowned, my confused eyes burning into him. I hoped my stare would convince him to give me an explanation. What the hell was he talking about? And why the heck were Chester and Kellan involved.

  "Zakk and Vlad searched the perimeter of the square and found jack shit." Chester grunted. "Bastards move fast."

  I should have known. In fact I felt stupid for not catching on right away. Chester and Kellan ran with Eli's group now. They took orders from an eighteen year old. How hadn't I known about this? Chester and Kellan left Covington and received degrees from separate Universities. Why had they come back here, for this?

  "No," I groaned and turned to the two of them. "Don't tell me you're letting that asshole boss you around." Chester and Kellan exchanged another look that made me frown. What was up with all the secrets? What was I missing?

  "It's not what you think Ella," Kellan said slowly. "We're not the bad guys."

  "But your boyfriend is."

  My hands froze at my sides. Slowly, I managed to move my feet so that I could see Eli again. I tried to remain nonchalant, but my eyes gave away my shock. "What did you say?"

  "The rock star," Eli explained, bitterly. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out?"

  "I really never gave much thought to what you think," I shot back. "But I don't know what you're talking about."

  Eli moved so that he stood only a few inches from me. His once, warm and thoughtful eyes, had hardened to stone. He had rings underneath his eyes and his stubble left a dark shadow on his face. He looked rough and older than he actually was. My stomach lurched for him. He was suffering. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn't. I didn't want him to be in pain anymore than I wanted to live in darkness.

  "Yes you do and you're an idiot if you think you know him."

  I shook my head, instantly coming to Ben's defense. "You don't know anything."

  "I know more than you," he countered, staring down at me like I was a little girl, naïve to the harsh reality of the world. "You're living a lie. The worst part is I think you know it too, you just refuse to see it."

  "See what?" I practically sh
outed before lowering my voice. I didn't want a teacher to come into the hallway demanding answers for our lack of class participation...well at least mine. I wasn't sure if Eli was still considered a student at our school.

  "Let it go, Eli." Kellan snapped. I looked over m shoulder, sparing one of Eli's glares for Kellan. He looked down at me, "You may hang with them, but you're still one of us Ella."

  My frown deepened. "What does that even mean? Hang with who?" I crossed my hands over my chest and pressed my lips together in a firm line. It was my attempt to show them I wasn't going to back down. I wanted answers.

  "Just be carful, El." Chester said, his eyes stern. The look was rather out of character for him. He nodded to something Eli may have motioned to behind me. "We have to go, but we'll visit you soon."

  "Don't dodge me," I said with pleading eyes. I wanted to know what was going on and what it had to do with Ben. Eli had some sort of issue with him and I knew it wasn't because we were dating. "Who are you looking for and why are you wasting your time with them?"

  Eli gave a short laugh. "Ask your boyfriend. He knows what we're trying to figure out." He shoved his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. "In fact, when you get answers, run them by us."

  "I don't have a boyfriend." I snapped at him.

  "Now that's a lie." Chester grinned. "A pretty young face like yours always has some dude chasing her." Both Eli and Kellan turned to stare at Chester with guarded eyes. The three of them shared a brief pause. In their silence secrets were communicated and I never felt more frustrated. I hated being out of the loop now.

  "You're not funny," Kellan said finally. Despite his comment, he broke into a smile.

  Chester rolled his eyes. "You're just jealous because I get more pussy than the two of you combined."

  "It's the hair." Kellan joked.

  Unexpectedly I felt Eli's hands on my shoulders. I obliged to his silent request and turned to face him. Our eyes met and unlike the millions of stares we shared in the past, this time I didn't want to swim in his chocolate brown eyes that matched his hair color perfectly. They were cold and looked as though they had a lot of mileage. I wasn't angry with him for the other night. I only felt sorry for him. He had his friends, but in reality he was alone. We both lost our brothers, but I still had my mother and close friends to carry me through the day. Eli's parents were long gone. He had no one.