by Rae, Alexa
"Funny," I said when I turned to face him.
When his eyes fell to my face, his eyebrows knit together, scrutinizing my expression. He cocked his head to the side and his lips pressed into a line. It was like he was trying to solve some difficult math equation scribbled across my forehead.
"What?"
His eyes connected with mine, "What's bothering you, Ella?"
Oh crap. "What do you mean?"
He closed the space between us. He raised his hand and the back of his knuckles gently brushed along the line of my cheekbone. "You're worried."
I tried to laugh it off. "Can you blame me? My boyfriend and his best friends are getting ready to risk their lives to save me."
He shook his head, "It's not that." His thumb moved underneath my chin and tilted it up, leaving me no choice but to give him access to my eyes. He searched them, seeming almost desperate. "Ella, tell me what's wrong."
There was no way I was telling him, not with everything at stake, including his existence. The burden I had to bear was mine and mine alone. I had the chance to save everyone and I wasn't going to terminate that chance. Though I couldn't tell him the truth, I couldn't lie to him either.
"I'm just afraid of losing you," I whispered, the truth, and closed my eyes to avoid direct confrontation of the facts I withheld.
I walked through the entire day in the life I would no longer have, trying to convince myself that this was real. My blood type, zombies, Ben, it was all so difficult to fathom. No matter how many times I thought about my decision the only thing I could come up with was, not Ben. I would give up my life for him. I would endure the pain, over and over again for the rest of my life if that meant Ben could be free. I never believed in soul mates and I don't think I ever could, but Ben was something else. His jagged puzzle piece, splintered and broken, fit perfectly together with mine.
"You're not going to loose me," Ben said fiercely. His hand clasped around the back of my neck and pushed forward until our foreheads brushed against the other. "I've said it before and I'll say it a million times more. You're mine Ella. Every part of you is mine and I feel sorry for any poor sucker who thinks differently. You're all I have and I'm not letting you go."
I don't know where it came from but a single tear slipped over my cheek. He erased it with the pad of his thumb, his blue orbs penetrating my soul, his darkness mending with mine so that our demons could play.
"You're making it really hard for me to change your mind," I mumbled. Or making it really easy for me to follow through with my decision, knowing he'd do the same for me. I'm just not going to give him that option.
"I can make it really easy to get your mind off it." His voice dropped several notches.
I shuddered. "You better hold true to your word."
Without warning, he scooped me into his arms, my weight seemingly trivial to him. He carried me upstairs to his bedroom and set me down on the bed. His eyes ravaged over my body until they captured my gaze. I arched an eyebrow, prompting him to make a move.
He dragged my body forward until he leaned over me. I didn't give him time to make the next move. My hand found the nape of his neck, pulled him down, so that I could crush my lips to his. He responded hungrily, moving me back until I lay on the bed with his body over mine. His teeth tugged at my bottom lip before he pulled away. One of his hands brushed my hair behind my ear, before his lips claimed mine with a fervent need that left me breathless.
His hands moved underneath my shirt, cupping my breasts. I smiled into our kiss before his lips moved to my throat. I felt his tongue brush along the skin behind my ear. I sighed lightly, when he did it again, and left a trail of kisses from my neck, over my jaw, and back to my lips. I flicked my tongue over the small silver ring pierced through his lip. He groaned and in response, his hand pushed the small of my back to his chest, lifting me off the bed. We couldn't get close enough to the other.
My hands gripped his shirt and pulled it up. I only made it halfway when I felt him suck on a spot beneath my ear that stilled my fingers and released a sigh from my throat. He gave a mischievous grin and finished the job I started by pulling his shirt over his head. He quickly tossed it to the side and brought my face back to his.
There was a new urgency about our kiss that made it difficult for me to contain myself. My hands rubbed his bare chest, highlighting every muscle and every tattoo on his broad shoulders. He shuddered underneath my touch, a slow ripple that moved throughout his body. We broke away from the kiss, our chests moving up and down in unison, when our eyes met.
I touched his cheek with my hand. He stared at me intently, as though memorizing every move, every touch. His hands reached for my shirt and he slowly pulled it over my head like he was waiting for me to protest.
When it landed on the floor, his hands roamed over my curves. His touch, skin against skin, was overwhelming, and my body ached for more. With his hands still caressing my skin, I slid my lips lightly over his. He responded with a kiss that was much more intimate.
His body hovered over mine, as he continued to kiss me with the same desperation that was there before. I moaned into his mouth when one of his hands caressed my breast, concealed by my red lacy bra. One of his hands slid behind my back, pulling the upper part of my body off the bed so he could unclasp my bra with the other hand. I pulled away the garment and tossed it behind me. His eyes fell down to my chest before they met mine. He leaned down and kissed my collarbone, before laying me back down on his mattress.
A burning sensation grew between my legs as he kissed me, exploring every part of my mouth with his tongue. Feeling my bare breasts against his chest ignited a fire within me. I wanted more of him, but I noticed he wasn't making any moves towards my pants. The burning grew and I wrapped my legs around his waist to ease it. The improvement to our position only made it worse when I felt what he wanted from me behind his own jeans.
He wasn't going there, to respect the boundaries I had made before. Each time I wanted him, but tonight was different. I needed him. I needed to feel every inch of his body and the need only grew as he worked his lips and tongue with mine.
"Ben," I finally gasped, dragging my lips unwillingly away from his.
His eyes flashed to mine instantly, his hand cupping my cheek, while the other was preoccupied with my left breast. I moaned at his gentle touch, my eyes momentarily rolled to the back of my head. A light smile touched his face at my reaction to his thumbs incessant movements.
"Take my pants off."
The seriousness returned to his face, his eyes boring into mine. "Ella," he began, but I cut him off.
"Please," I said softly, my hand rubbed the lower part of his chest and trailed slowly lower to the waistband of his jeans.
His hand left my cheek and touched the button of my jeans, but stopped there. "You don't have to do this because,"
I put my finger to his lips and shushed him. "Ben, I want this." I exhaled, anticipating the words that were coming next. It felt right to say it, even if he didn't feel the same. "I'm doing this because I love you."
His eyebrows drew apart. His expression softened and I watched a million different emotions ran through them. Fascination lingers in his eyes as he gazed down at me until he dipped his head down, his lips covering mine in a delicate caress as he slid his mouth over mine.
Our pants were off before I had the chance to look down. His lips moved against mine gently, treasuring every feel that our touch brought. Still managing to kiss me, he pulled me off the bed and adjusted me so that I was lying with my head against his pillows. He kneeled over me; gazing at me as if I was the last thing he would ever see. In his blue eyes, usually dangerous, I found nothing, but adoration and pure lust. It made me want him even more. I expected to be self-conscious under his gaze but that was close to impossible with him. The fact that I was bare and in front of him made me feel even closer to him than I did before. I was home and I was in pure and utter bliss.
"You're beautiful," he murmured,
touching my cheek. I blushed and I could have sworn his eyes began to change color but he blinked hard and shook his head a little.
"Are you alright?" I asked softly.
He nodded and slid his lips over mine, imprinting my memory with the taste of him. After a slow, passionate kiss he leaned back and tugged the covers out from underneath us and pulled them over our bodies. I felt him hover over me, his body positioned between my legs.
"We can still stop," he told me gazing into my eyes.
I shook my head, "Don't you dare."
He chuckled and his lips moved to mine while he tugged off our remaining clothing garments. My arms wrapped around his back, my fingers dug into his skin, before a gasp left my mouth when he rocked me into oblivion. His mouth covered mine to mute the way my body responded to his.
.
The late afternoon carried into the evening. Every touch left an evanescent mark where a plethora of raw emotions lingered before replaced by another. My ulterior motives were lost in the back of my mind, my thoughts carried to another universe driven by his lips. I wasn't a virgin, but I didn't expect there to be much more to sex than what I'd already experienced. However, the last coherent thought in my mind was so that's what the big fuss is about.
Thirty
I watched the sun fall between the clusters of naked trees through his bedroom window. My head lay on his bare chest, slowly rising and falling in a pattern that matched his even breaths as he slept beneath me. My fingers traced the outline of a tattoo of crows in flight on his upper chest that ran over his shoulder, among his other tattoos I found the birds, known as symbols of death, to be the most interesting.
I was careful when I finally worked up the courage and the will to move. It tore me apart every time I tried to separate myself from his sleeping form. We spent the entire day together, tangled between the sheets, with breaks to eat and for Ben to check his phone when he thought I wasn't looking. I already knew they planned to fight at midnight, but they would never get the chance. The Undead, along with myself, would be long gone before then.
I pressed my lips to his chest. They had encountered his skin in areas all over his body, but his chest was a popular location. This time my mouth took an excruciatingly long time before I could pull away. It would be the last time my lips would ever come in contact with his skin.
I removed myself from his bare chest, my touch light on his skin before it was gone completely. The thin cotton bed sheet draped over the two of us slid off my bareback. I quickly replaced myself with the sheet, hoping not to stir him in his sleep. I noticed in our shared evenings that he was a heavy sleeper.
I moved quietly around his bedroom to retrieve actual clothes that I hadn't worn since yesterday when I came home from school. Throughout the entire day I wore Ben's shirts around his house when his band mates weren't around to see me. I was relieved when they left just before Ben fell asleep. I could make a clean escape without drawing attention to myself or raising questions.
When I was dressed, my shoes in one hand and keys in the other, I looked back at the man I loved sleeping peacefully with the bed sheets draped over his torso, concealing the lower half of his body. His hair, tousled and black as night, draped into his face. His long, dark lashes were a stark contrast to his pale skin that became more evident when his eyes were closed. His face was relaxed. The constant tension in his jaw and the ice in his coarse expression were absent, replaced by the innocence of a man freed from a monster that caged his humanity.
I turned away, feeling a shard of ice rip through my chest causing the features in my expression to contort into pain almost as though it were physical. My throat was clogged with the sobs that I refused to let go as I quietly moved throughout his house. I walked in a trance; dazed from the moments we shared, still playing on repeat in my mind. It wasn't until I was in my car with the engine running that a single tear slipped over my cheek.
My eyes were blurred and I could hardly see through the windshield as I backed out of the gravel drive. I sucked in a deep breath when I pulled the car out and continued my drive through the winding road with my final destination set in mind. I contemplated leaving Ben a note, but I thought how horribly cliché and decided against it. A note would immediately give myself away if he happened to wake up before I had the chance to meet the Undead. Without a note he would search for me first before jumping to conclusions, buying me time.
.
I parked my car two blocks down from Baker Field, right off a side street that hardly anyone in the town used. I locked the car, put the keys in my pocket, as a routine, but I knew it wasn't necessary. I wouldn't be coming back for it. I walked with a quick pace so that my thoughts couldn't carry off too far to second guess my decision. Every step I took was one step further away from turning back. I turned onto the desolate side street where there was a decrepit warehouse in front of the baseball field. Its abandonment cast a foreboding shadow over the location. I had reached the point of no return.
I found myself drawn to the middle of the road. The dotted yellow line was faded and the cracked asphalt seemed to suck the color from it over the years. I stood strictly on top of the small broken lines as though my life depended on it. I recalled the nightmare I had just weeks before where I found myself chanting I cannot fall off, I must not fall off. I liked to believe dreams were a warning from your subconscious, but I couldn't find the relevance of that dream. Fall off what and why the hell not?
I stood alone, waiting, listening to silence. Not even the sound of cars in the distance could disrupt the dead calm of the night as the sun slipped over the horizon. The street lamps cast a sickening glow over the surrounding area, providing little light to the street. My hands grew sweaty the longer I waited and I found myself balling them into fists at my sides to remain calm.
I waited. A street lamp in the distance flickered. The wind picked up, shaking the trees, and pushing what leaves they had left off the branches. My eyes scanned the empty road, searching for movement or any sign of sudden attack. Would they catch me from behind or would I have a conversation with someone? I preferred to get the whole thing over with before the longing of Ben's strong arms became too brutal to ignore.
"Hey!" I shouted my surprisingly strong voice shook the quiet calm. "You know it's rude to keep a girl waiting!"
"My apologies."
I whirled to put a face to the familiar voice I'd heard hours before. The 'substitute teacher' stood before me, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. I blinked a few times for my eyes to focus. His gaze moved from my shoes to my face, slicing right through me.
"You came alone," he stated almost as if he didn't believe it himself.
I put my hands to my hips in full bitch mode. "I said I would."
He gave a dry laugh and nodded like I had said something else. "I never introduced myself before, did I?" He extended his hand. "I am Michael." He said his name as though he were some hot shot and expecting me to bow before him.
I stared at him without moving. "I can't say it's a pleasure, Michael."
"I'm more than delighted to have found you. I've heard much about you, but you're not quite the little girl I imagined."
I frowned. "What?"
He shook his head. "Another time. I can't keep the others waiting. Your overprotective rock stars have made them quite restless over the past couple weeks."
Two men wearing dark suits appeared on either side of Michael, one blonde and the other brunette. Their entrance was like they had been dropped from the sky. I noted their faces that lacked expressions. They were blank canvases in desperate need of emotion to comfort whoever laid eyes on them. Two more sets of famished, black eyes roamed over my body. One of them smirked, igniting the malice in his eyes.
"So this is Ella," he said. His voice was a sneer. He tipped his head back to tousle his shaggy blonde locks as if he were given a cue to do so.
"So much sass," I commented while making a sizzling sound with my tongue on the roof of my mouth. His e
yes narrowed. The brunette's lips turned up into a hard, but amused smile.
"Are you ready, Ella?" Michael asked me.
I glared at him. "I'm assuming my family is safe and my friends are okay?"
"Of course."
"And Ben, he's immune to whatever punishments you had planned for him and his band mates. That was the deal. You can do whatever you want with me, but they have to be free."
"I am a man of my word, Ella. A deal is a deal."
My stomach was tied in uncomfortable knots that left me unsettled with nerves rising. I was going to be sick if they didn't get whatever they had planned over with soon.
"Okay," I exhaled. "I'm ready."
"No!"
My breath caught in my throat when I heard the deep roar of his voice shake the silence of the night weighing down on us. The blank expressions of the three men darkened. Before I could say or do anything I felt the presence of someone standing beside me. Great.
Instead of looking up, my eyes swept down to his shoes, eyeing the black combat boots, the laces tied into sloppy knots, the toes scuffed, and the black leather worn. My gaze trailed up his long silhouette. His hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides, his arms flexed so that the veins running down his arms and to the backs of his hands were prominent. I finally looked at his face so that I could see the anger seething out of him.
"No fucking deal," Ben spat.
"Yes!" I said quickly. "Deal!"
"No!" He barked back. I opened my mouth to shout something at Michael, but Ben caught my attention first, in the way that he squared his shoulders and his eyes sliced to mine. "What the hell are you doing?"
I couldn't answer him, shocked by the fury in his eyes that was directed towards me. I faced Michael, who also didn't look too happy with me. "I swear I didn't say anything. I'm sticking to the deal. My blood is yours if you follow my guidelines."