by A. M. Kusi
River took another sip, savoring the earthy sweet notes on his tongue before swallowing the drink, feeling the warmth down to his belly. “It’s different, but really good. I like it.”
Ella pulled up a stick from the pile, placing a large marshmallow on top of it before handing it to River. He took it from Ella and stared at her in disbelief.
“What? You don’t like s’mores?” She looked worried for a moment.
“I can’t say. I’ve never had one,” River admitted.
Ella’s mouth gaped open in disbelief. “What? Never? Not even as a little kid? You didn’t ever go camping?”
River shrugged. “Nope.”
“Well, we can pop your s’mores cherry tonight. Trust me, it will be worth it,” Ella said.
River smiled and agreed. “Only if you’re gentle.”
She bit her lip, blushing.
Ella showed him how to roast the marshmallows, having the graham cracker and chocolate ready for him. She handed him the final concoction and he took it curiously, turning it in his hand, not sure where to start. “You eat it all together?” he asked.
“Yes, just take a bite. I promise you won’t regret it,” Ella encouraged.
She watched as he brought the sticky treat to his mouth, testing the temperature with his tongue.
River bit into the s’more as Ella waited patiently for his opinion. It took him a full minute to finish chewing, but he nodded and stuck his thumb up with approval. Ella’s own smile grew wide with satisfaction as she made herself one. They washed the rest of the s’mores down with their drinks.
“That was…delicious,” River said, holding his sticky fingers out in front of him.
“I can’t believe you’d never had a s’more in your life. That’s like, sacrilegious.”
“Not much chance for that where I grew up,” River explained.
“Well, now you have yet another new thing you have tried. Tell me s’mores were on your bucket list.”
River laughed. “Nope, but they should have been.” After a moment of silence, River reached his hand out to hold Ella’s. She pressed her own marshmallow-covered fingers in between his.
“Tell me about a challenge you have had in your life,” Ella said.
River thought for a moment before answering. “It was hard growing up in a predominately Caucasian neighborhood, going to white schools. I never seemed to be light enough for them. On the flip side, I never seemed to be black enough for the few brothers and sisters on the playground either. My green eyes kinda freaked them out. People would think my mom was my nanny. I just never really fit in. The first time I felt like I did fit was when I met Jax on the soccer team.” River took another sip of his drink before continuing.
“In college it got easier. I guess just knowing that everyone would judge me by the way I looked rather than even trying to get to know me first has been one of my biggest challenges. I realized I needed to stop trying to fit into their box and create my own mold. I just wanted to be around positive and accepting people.”
Ella listened. “Wow. I never realized how lucky I am to at least not have my skin color counting against me in life. For the record, I love your eyes.”
River felt her words in his heart, knowing she meant to bring him comfort. He lowered his face and kissed her lips. She tasted like s’mores. He felt the overwhelming attraction that was always simmering between them as she returned his kiss. He bent his forehead to hers for a moment before sitting back in his chair. He licked his lips, tasting toasted marshmallow and mead mixed with Ella. “I’m kinda tired. Can we head upstairs?” If he kept kissing her, it would make it more difficult for him to fulfill his promise to keep things slow like she needed.
Ella swallowed the rest of her mead as she gathered the items together on the tray. River offered to carry it, and she let him. She put the fire out and headed inside after him. Once in the kitchen, they set everything on the island.
“I need some water. You?” Ella asked abruptly.
“Nah, I’m good. I’m gonna head up,” River said. “Come say good night before you go to bed?”
“Okay.” Ella nodded.
***
Ella poured herself a glass of cold water, buying herself some time to think. Was she ready for this? I’m about to find out.
Ella ran up to her room to brush her teeth and put a dab of scented lilac oil on her neck. She changed into just a white tee shirt and a pair of red boy shorts underwear. She looked in the mirror, and spoke aloud to herself. “This is it. This is the next step. You are ready.”
Taking a deep breath, she opened her bedroom door and walked down the dark hallway to Mac’s old bedroom. She paused outside, raising her hand to knock.
She heard a noise. Ella pressed her ear up to the door, listening more intently. Suddenly, she realized what the soft rumble was. River was snoring, which meant he was sound asleep.
Ella knew how tired he was after a long day of traveling. She was disappointed that she would miss a chance at getting closer to him, yet grateful at the same time. She realized just how much he had given her that day.
Ella smiled as she walked back to her room and climbed into her bed, alone.
Chapter 18
The next morning, River tapped on her bedroom door. She opened it to see him standing with his hands in his pockets.
“I’m sorry I fell asleep last night. Did you try to knock?”
“That’s alright. I’m glad you got some rest. I heard you snoring through the door, so I didn’t bother. You were really tired.” Ella chuckled before asking, “Breakfast?”
“Sounds good.” River followed Ella downstairs to the kitchen where Maggie was busy finishing up breakfast.
Maggie looked up to see Ella first, and her smile grew larger than Ella thought possible when River came into view.
“Good morning!” Maggie said with a smile, widening her eyes suggestively when she met Ella’s gaze.
“It certainly is,” River said, showing off his perfect white teeth.
Ella looked sheepishly at Maggie. “Morning.” She shuffled River to the kitchen door that led to the breakfast nook, saying, “I’ll be right out. I’ll bring coffee.”
“But if I stay to watch, I can figure out your secret,” he said mischievously.
“I won’t make it that easy.” Ella smiled, placing her hand on her hip.
River gave her cheek a quick peck before taking the hint and leaving the women alone.
“Well that might be the sexiest walk of shame I’ve ever seen.” Maggie said, while Ella walked over to the espresso machine and started their lattes.
“It’s not like that. We didn’t sleep together.” Ella shot her friend a warning look.
“Where did he sleep then?” Maggie pressed.
“Mac’s room.”
Maggie’s mouth gaped open in surprise. “Wow, Ella, that’s a big step for you.”
“Can we not make a huge deal out of this?”
Maggie nodded. “Okay. I came in to find a tray full of s’more stuff this morning. Looks like you two had fun last night.”
“Sorry, I should have cleaned that up. I was a little distracted last night. Can you believe he had never tried a s’more before?”
Maggie frowned in disbelief. “What? Really?”
Ella wiped the steamer clean with a damp cloth before picking up the two hot mugs. “Really.”
“Glad you rectified that situation.” Maggie smiled, knowingly.
“You sure you don’t need me here today?” Ella asked.
“I’m sure. Now, go have fun! Fly, little bird!” Maggie said, raising her hands and flapping her invisible wings, making quite the spectacle of herself.
Ella burst into laughter before making her way to the table where River was waiting with two plates already brimming with savory breakfast quiche.
After they enjoyed their breakfast together, Ella asked, “You ready to go?”
She had taken the time that morning to plan some fun excursions for them while she’d waited for him to wake up.
“Yeah. Where to?” River asked.
“Now it’s your turn to be surprised,” Ella said, smiling.
***
Taking a left from the inn, they drove in River’s Tesla down the mountain towards town, where they made a right until signs for the highway eighty-nine came into view. There, at Ella’s direction, they merged towards Burlington.
Disbelieving, River took in what Vermont deemed to be a city. There were none of the skyscrapers, billboards, or congested traffic he was used to in Boston, but rather green trees and parks scattered everywhere they drove. Grassy areas were filled with dog-walkers, and people were reading on blankets laid out in the bright June sun.
As they rode down Main Street, River saw Lake Champlain in the distance, separating Vermont and New York State. Ella instructed him to take a right at the lights where they passed a movie theatre and a busy food co-op. She pointed left at a second light, and then the next right took them to a grey concrete, pillared parking garage. They parked and he followed her to a dingy elevator that smelled rank with weed, stale cigarette smoke, and god knew what else. When she led him out into the fresh air and down a thankfully clean alley, he was surprised to see the wall covered in a giant mural. The painting was a mix of mostly light-faced people, captured as if they were in a parade. Ella turned onto a brick street that was cut off from traffic and surrounded by shops and restaurants on either side.
“Church Street,” Ella stated simply.
After that, they walked to the Farmhouse Tap & Grill where they got a light lunch. Next stop was Lake Champlain Chocolates to try some of the well-known truffles, while they watched the workers make caramel right in front of them. Ella brought River over to Ben and Jerry’s Scoop Shop for ice cream, where he threatened he might burst from any more food. They enjoyed window shopping, exploring the kitchen and home goods stores, talking and laughing as they walked hand in hand.
Ella and River returned to the car thoroughly exhausted at three in the afternoon. River drove them back to the inn, reaching his hand out to hers once they got onto the highway. John Legend played on the radio, and Ella sang along.
“That was fun,” River stated.
“Lots of new experiences,” Ella agreed.
“Did you always want to run the inn? Or did you just do it to make him happy?” River asked. They both knew he was referring to Mac.
“I never really had a plan for my life. It was more about survival before Mac. He pushed me to major in business, because he saw I had a knack for it. I really don’t like being told what to do, so he knew I had to be my own boss.”
Ella and River laughed together before she continued, “I honestly do love the inn. It’s more than a job to me. It’s my independence. The inn is something I helped take from a humble place and grew it to a better thriving one. I hope to continue that work. And, part of it is wanting to make Mac proud. The inn is his legacy. It was like his child. It’s a piece of him that I will always hold close to my heart.”
River took a breath before asking, “Have you ever thought of hiring a business coach? You know, to help guide you in the areas that you need help in, like online marketing?”
Ella patted his hand and smiled. “Why hire one when I have you?”
River looked at her for a moment before turning his eyes back to the road, feeling pride swell in his chest. “I guess that’s true; your boyfriend does know a thing or two about that stuff.”
Ella tensed, pulling her hand away and back into her lap. “Boyfriend?”
They hadn’t gone as far as labeling what they had together yet. “Isn’t that what we are doing? I thought we were dating,” River asked, carefully.
Ella looked out the window at the passing trees, taking slow, deep breaths.
“Are you seeing someone else, Ella?” River asked, concerned.
Ella looked back to him, seeming shocked. “No. I—I wouldn’t do that to you.”
River sighed with relief. “What is it then?”
“I didn’t know we were labeling this. It’s a surprise to me is all,” Ella explained.
“Is that okay? Dating is getting to know one another. I want to see you exclusively. I am not the sharing type,” River said, picking up her hand and bringing it to his lips for a comforting kiss.
“Okay, boyfriend,” Ella said, seemingly testing the word out. “For the record, I don’t share either.”
River’s grin widened into a full smile as they drove the rest of the way to the inn.
***
They spent the evening at the pub, talking with Lucas and Ms. Matty, who was there for the beginning of their meal.
“I see you found your game. Good for you.” She said, giving River’s biceps a squeeze, before patting him and making her way out the door.
Lucas seemed happy monopolizing the conversation with River in between helping customers, chatting to him about soccer and the upcoming World Cup. Ella had an extra cranberry vodka, feeling safe in River’s presence.
Ella and River walked back to the inn in a comfortable silence, enjoying the warm June evening. The stars were out, and Ella could see the glow of the lights off the back patio of the inn. She led River through the back silent except for the creak of the spring on the door. Ella shivered with anticipation as they walked through the dimly lit hallway and up the stairs towards her bedroom. She opened the door and led him inside. She felt more nervous than she did on the night she’d lost her virginity.
“I’ll be right back. I want to change into some comfortable clothes and brush my teeth,” River said.
Ella nodded and closed the door behind him to do the same. She put on a faded blue tee shirt and dark purple boy shorts— her usual sleeping attire— before rushing to brush her own teeth. She was interrupted by a knock at her bedroom door.
She walked over and opened it, seeing River shirtless with only a pair of grey sleep pants on. She took in every muscle and shadow on his beautifully sculpted body. She felt like it was getting harder to breathe, seeing the rise and fall of his chiseled chest.
“Oh, sorry. I just wanted to say goodnight,” River said.
She watched him take in her current state. She was being vulnerable with him, but she knew he understood that showing him her scars wasn’t something she took lightly.
Ella realized why he was apologizing just as the extra vodka cranberry hit her. Vodka—always a freight train out of nowhere. “Oh? Do I get a kiss good night from my boyfriend?” Ella asked, seductively inviting River with her eyes.
“Umm…yeah,” River said, sounding surprised. He leaned down to kiss her just as she wrapped her arms over his soft light brown skin, pulling him tighter against herself. Ella let out a moan as he sucked in her bottom lip.
River tensed before pulling away.
Ella saw his eyes darkening with what she hoped was the same need as her own.
“Ella—”
“I want you to stay.” Ella pulled River into her room, stumbling backwards, but he caught her.
“You’re drunk.”
“Maybe a little tipsy,” she answered, pulling his face down for another kiss.
River backed up, holding her a few inches from his body. He took a few breaths and swallowed hard. “Baby, we can’t do this.”
Baby. She liked the sound of it coming out of his mouth, even though he was rejecting her. Again. “What? Why? Isn’t this what you want?” Ella said, suddenly feeling exposed and defensive. Was something wrong with her? This was the second time he was refusing to go further.
“Yes, god, I want you so much it hurts. You are breathtaking. And I’ll be honest: I’ve wanted to strip you down and memori
ze every curve, map every inch of you with my mouth, since I met you. You have no idea of all the things I’ve wanted to do to you since the moment I first saw you,” River said, his gaze intense and needy.
Ella stood, stunned by his admission, relief flooding over her insecurities. She was tempted to give every part of herself to the sexy man who stood waiting in her doorway. She saw his eyes darken, and heard his breathing grow shallow. “Show me,” she whispered.
“Do you trust me completely, Ella?” River asked, breaking the silence. His voice sounded rough.
Ella was at a loss for words. Her craving for him pushed reason from her mind. His question challenged her to think intently, searching deep inside herself for an honest answer. “I want to.”
River nodded, not showing if her words disappointed him. “I want to make love to you until you scream for me to stop. I want to hear you cry out with pleasure, but I won’t do it until I know you trust me completely. I won’t be like all the other men in your life who took from you without giving anything in return. I won’t use you, Ella. I won’t abandon you. Until I know that you truly believe that, I’m fine with just being close to you.”
Heat reverberated through her body. How had he known exactly what she needed to hear? “Stay with me?” she asked.
River nodded and followed her to her bed. Climbing under the covers, he wrapped his arm around her as she lay on his chest. His heartbeat was the last thing she heard as she drifted off to sleep in the arms of the man who had shown her the most love any man ever could. The fact that he cared enough about her to deny his own body.
As waves of comfort and safety washed over her, Ella realized that the warm feeling that blossomed in her chest was growing stronger. Love.
Chapter 19
Ella opened her eyes early the next morning. Careful not to wake River and end her bliss, she didn’t move. His arms were still around her, hugging her close to his chest. As Ella had fallen asleep listening to his heartbeat, she was convinced it was one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. She stayed still, memorizing the feel of his closeness. She felt the familiar tingling that his touch always brought where his warm chest connected to her cheek. His hard body emitted heat like a furnace. She stayed nuzzled against him, feeling the velvety softness of his skin.