As awkward as Ana felt, Tash’s calm chuckle told her that the other woman wasn’t fazed about what had been going on. “It’s fine. Normally, I sleep like a baby, but since…” She trailed off for a moment. “Some nights I wake up with nightmares.”
Ana felt her heart squeeze; she knew that phase.
“I can tell you that they will stop,” she offered. “I wish I had more advice or another suggestion for you, but is there anything I can do? Anything that helps?”
Tash shrugged with a defeated, but appreciative, smile. “I don’t think so. The only thing that seemed to work was… well, let’s just say that I can’t ask it of him right now.”
Ask it of whom? Ana wondered curiously.
Could she mean Pierce? They were friends, after all.
Tash looked away and before Ana could press any further, Morgan’s footsteps echoed down the stairs.
“Sorry,” he said. Ana could tell that something was bothering him. And it wasn’t because of any ‘twin thing.’ Frustration was written all over his face.
“It’s fine,” she reassured him with a smile. She’d been planning to scold him, but not with the way he looked. “I just wanted to briefly meet with the two of you about this coming weekend.”
She turned to Tash. “If at any point you feel uncomfortable, I want you to tell Morgan. I’ve already instructed Tony and Gino to make sure that they get you out of there if something happens or you don’t feel safe.”
“Thanks, Ana, but really, I’ll be ok.” Ana could practically hear the excitement and relief in Tash’s voice. She knew that the other woman was probably looking for any way to escape the nightmares. Any distraction – no matter how dangerous.
“Morgan.” She returned the discussion to her brother. “Tony and Gino are going to be in the background looking for any potential threats. Meanwhile, Pierce and I are going to try to identify the woman as soon as possible so that you two can approach her.”
“Don’t you think maybe Tony should stay with the two of you?” he interjected.
“No.” She shook her head. “It’s a large room and there’s going to be almost seventy people there. We have limited resources, I can’t chain half of them to one spot,” she replied incredulously, annoyed that he was questioning her.
“I don’t like it.”
“Like what? This is my job, Morgan. I’ve done much more dangerous things that you don’t even know about – for good reason.”
“No,” he said gruffly. “I don’t like that you’re having to work with Pierce. Alone.”
“Why?” she asked cautiously, her heart starting to race.
What if he had heard something? What if he saw something? What if he somehow knew?
“Because, Ana.” He sighed. “I’ve told you. Pierce has his own agenda – if he hasn’t proven that to you already. He’s unpredictable and I don’t want you being forced to be involved.”
Too late. She was already involved, not in the way he thought, but at least the decision had been her own.
“I’ll be fine, Morgan. He’s not going to do anything that I don’t tell him to. Trust me.” His persistent need to protect and watch over her was really starting to suffocate her. She loved him, she really did, but he needed to stop treating her like the broken girl that she’d been three years ago. She was stronger now; she just didn’t know how to make him see that.
Morgan didn’t respond, he only shook his head as though she had no idea what she was saying.
“Anyway,” she continued, hoping that was the end of his dissent. “While we are finding her, I want you two to mingle with as many people as you can. I don’t want her to realize that you’ve been planted there. If you just hole up and wait for us, it could be too obvious when you go to speak to her immediately after talking to us.”
“So, you’re just going to come find us and point her out?” Morgan asked.
She was about to say ‘yes’ when Tash spoke up.
“What about if you have a drink delivered to us? You know, like ‘compliments of the lady in red’ or something. And then we will know to meet you at the bar and you can point her out without our conversation being too conspicuous?”
Ana just blinked. That was actually not a bad idea.
“I think… that is a really good idea,” she replied and Tash smiled in response. “It’s obvious that this woman is extremely cautious so any precaution that we can take to prevent our association from being too obvious we should.”
“Good idea, Tash,” Morgan murmured.
“Ana, we need to get dresses,” Tash said as though the thought just came to her.
Ana stared at her blankly. What was she talking about?
“Dresses… you know. As in an outfit for the night,” Tash elucidated. “I mean, unless you have something that fancy. I didn’t bring anything like that with me…”
Ana groaned. She hadn’t even thought about that. “You’re right, again.” God, she wouldn’t have missed a detail like that before; her distraction with Pierce was making her sloppy. “Crap.”
“Why crap? You love to go shopping!” Morgan exclaimed.
Yeah, well not since showing half of her body became a problem.
She rolled her eyes at her brother. “Ok, well, we can go to Harrod’s tomorrow, if that works for you?”
Tash nodded. “I just have PT in the morning. Hopefully, today is the last day for the air cast.”
“Sounds good. Do you want to meet there or here?”
“I’ll probably come back here first. I’m still not too familiar with where I’m going. Plus, I’ve heard how big the store is – I’ll probably get lost if I get there on my own.” She laughed lightly.
“What am I – chopped liver?” Morgan asked.
Ana rolled her eyes; she wasn’t the only one who had enjoyed shopping.
“Yes, tomorrow you are,” she said firmly. She was actually looking forward to some girl time; she needed to talk to someone. “Plus, don’t you want to keep an eye on Pierce? You’re the one who is so convinced that he is going to go off the reservation.”
He glared back at her.
“Just because I’m convinced doesn’t mean that I care. Pierce can do whatever the hell he wants,” he said nonchalantly. “Just as long as it doesn’t involve you.”
Ana swallowed over the lump in her throat.
“I’m going to run to the market,” Tash said quietly.
Neither Ana nor Morgan broke their stare for a prolonged second before she finally turned to acknowledge Tash. “Ok, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then. What time do you get done? Like ten?”
Tash nodded as she stood. “I’ll be back soon.” And then she left Ana alone with her brother and his scowl.
“What’s wrong, Morgan? What’s going on?” she asked with a sigh, walking over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water from inside.
“Something is going on.” Ana froze, staring into the inside of the fridge, waiting for the ax to fall. “Pierce is up to something.”
The sound of the fridge shutting covered up her relieved exhale.
“Is that why you were upset when you came down here?”
“I just get the feeling that he is keeping something from me,” he said as he stared hard at her. Ana tried to keep her expression as blank as possible while she thanked the gods that the stupid ‘twin thing’ didn’t exist, otherwise he would have a good idea just what was going on.
“Why do you think that?”
“Just the way he’s been acting lately.” He shook his head. “Ruder to you than is normal for him. Keeping to himself. And the biggest thing… he hasn’t brought anyone home the past week or so. Hell, I don’t even think he’s gone out at night and that is not like Pierce.”
“Oh…” She dropped her gaze. Yeah, he hadn’t brought anyone home because he’d been with her.
“Ana…” His voice dropped. Shit. “What’s going on? What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing,” she insisted.
&
nbsp; “You’re not a good liar. What’s going on? Do you know something?” He swore. “I knew I was missing something. I came home the other night after the movies to find two sets of dishes in the sink. And then there was the fucking comment he made the other day about seeing you later to apologize.” She stared as her brother quickly began to put together the little breadcrumbs that had been left behind. “Ana, tell me what the hell is going on with Pierce. Is there something going on between—”
“No,” she interrupted him firmly before he went too far. “There is nothing going on and I don’t know anything more than you.” That was a lie, so she decided to continue quickly with something that was as close to the truth as possible. “I was making dinner the other night when he came home and he asked for some.” She laughed. “Actually, he told me that he wouldn’t tell me what he found out about the auction unless I made him some. So, I did. And he told me what I wanted to know.”
Morgan raised an eyebrow at her skeptically.
“You freaking went to the movies with Tash the other night, but you don’t see me here accusing you of having something going on with her!”
“Fine,” he admitted gruffly. “What about the apology?”
Ana rolled her eyes. “
“Ok, but if I find out that there is more to this, I’ll—”
“You’ll what, Morgan?” she retorted.
Enough was enough.
She was tired of being babied. She had enough lingering insecurities as it was; she didn’t need her own brother acting like she was weaker and needed more coddling than she did.
“What will you do?” she asked again, her tone even angrier. “I’m a grown woman, Morgan. I will make my own choices and my own mistakes. You need to accept that and you need to stop trying to shield me from everything. If you trust in my decisions – like you yelled at Pierce to the other day – then you shouldn’t be scolding me for them today.”
“I can accept it, Ana, but not when I have to pick up the pieces afterward. And especially not when I can do something to avoid the whole goddamn disaster. Let’s face it, you haven’t made the best choices when it’s come to men and I’m not about to just sit here and let the wool be pulled over my eyes while you let yourself be fooled into thinking that Pierce cares about you.”
“Seriously?” she stared at him incredulously, the hurt his words had caused only fueling her anger. “I’m sorry you think I’m just some child to be looked after, that I can’t take care of myself and handle my mistakes. You aren’t responsible for my life, Morgan; you never were. Not to mention, that was three years ago. Not only am I not the same person, but Shane was a fucking psycho as you well know.”
“Yeah, well, so is Pierce,” her brother responded acerbically.
Ana swallowed the words she was about to say. There was no arguing with Morgan when he was like this. This is why they hadn’t talked for years, because when Morgan got it in his head that she needed to be protected from something or someone, that was the end of it. Either she let him do as he wished and followed his every order to the letter or he cut her off, ‘not wanting to be in any way responsible for the outcome.’
“Well, I hope you feel like the savior that you always need to be, Morgan. I hope that belittling me and insulting your friend, however much of an unpredictable ass he might be, has in some way validated your hero-complex. But, for the future, you can save it for someone else. I’m not some damsel-in-distress. I’m a grown woman and I don’t need you to be my hero anymore; I’m more than capable of saving myself.”
And then she grabbed her water bottle from off the counter and turned into the staircase, taking the steps two at a time as she heard her brother yell after her.
“Ana…” She kept walking. “Morgana!”
Closing the door to her room, she burst into tears.
Chapter 20
A thrill of excitement moved through her as she and Tash walked into Harrod’s. She used to enjoy shopping because new clothes had made her feel beautiful and she’d like to think that Shane had paid just a little more attention to her with them on. But towards the end of their relationship, even that hadn’t done the trick. And then afterwards… well, with the way the fashion trends were today, less always seemed to be more, except she couldn’t wear less without risking exposure. Another (minor) reason why she’d jumped at the chance to work in London: permanent sweater weather.
Today though, for the first time in ages, she was excited to find something to wear.
She was excited to see Pierce’s reaction to her in something sexier than flannel or a sweater.
“You ok?” she glanced over at Tash whose eagerness yesterday for this moment seemed to have diminished.
Tash attempted a smile. “Yeah, I mean, this place is incredible,” she replied in awe.
Harrod’s was definitely a place to see when in London. The department store had everything that you could ever dream about buying – oh, and it had its own gift shop. There were a ton of other places that she could have suggested, but for some reason, when Tash mentioned shopping, this is where she knew that she would find something that would knock Pierce off of his feet.
“I figured you would like it.”
And there was the sad smile again. “I do,” she began. “Just not as much as I thought I would.” Tash sighed as they stepped onto the escalator. “Not because of the store… I don’t know. The old me would have died coming in here. I mean, look at that.” She pointed to the Egyptian décor encasing the escalators – from sphinxes to Egyptian statues – it was almost like a museum, except the only artifacts on display behind the glass windows were Hermès and Prada.
“It is pretty incredible,” Ana agreed. “But, I know what you mean.”
They stepped off the moving staircase and made their way into the women’s eveningwear section, suddenly immersed in a sea of silks, satins, and jewels.
“I used to love shopping… until everything that happened with my ex.” Ana paused to let out a small laugh. “I thought today would be the same except now, surprisingly, I’m excited to find something sexy to wear…” She trailed off as she pulled out a black silk dress with a plunging neckline.
Sleeveless. No good.
“For Pierce?” Tash asked.
Ana stopped in her tracks to sheepishly meet the other woman’s gaze. “I know.” She sighed again heavily. “I know.”
“Ana, I don’t want you to think I was saying that you shouldn’t get involved with him.” Tash placed her hand on her arm. “I just want you to be careful. You’ve been so nice to me and I’d like to think that we are friends; I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Thank you,” she replied. “And I know that I’m probably heading in that direction, but I can’t seem to want to turn around. All I want to do is turn to him.” She pulled out a navy-blue sheath dress that had spaghetti straps. “What do you think about this one?”
“I love it personally, but I think you should wear something a little brighter,” Tash replied.
“I didn’t mean for me. I meant for you.” She held the dress out for Tash to take.
There was no way she was wearing anything with spaghetti straps.
Did this store have anything with sleeves?
“I know I’m probably being foolish and I know that you and Morgan are probably right, but I always made all the right decisions, you know?” The question was rhetorical. “I made all the right decisions and they almost destroyed me. What incentive could I possibly have to want to do that again?”
“Wait, Morgan doesn’t know, does he?”
“No.” Ana shook her head vigorously. “No, he thinks that Pierce is just trying to pull one over on me with the mission and he’s already pissed that I won’t listen to him. I can’t imagine what would happen…”
“I was going to say…” Tash trailed off. “I mean, he loves you and he doesn’t want to see you get hurt, but at the end of the day, it’s not his choice to make.”
“That’s e
xactly what I tried to tell him. I just wish he could understand it. He, more than anyone, knows what happened to me; you would think he could understand where I’m coming from. Instead, he just thinks that I’m making more wrong choices; he refuses to see that I was making all of the right ones before…”
“He does like to be the hero. I’ve only just met him, but seeing how he treats me, I can only imagine what he feels for you.” Tash paused for a moment to think before asking, “Do you know Cyn? When I first met her, she was running from a bad end to a relationship. She wanted my life – my lifestyle – because of the control that it gave her over men. In a lot of ways, most people would consider it making all the wrong choices, but sometimes that is what you need to do to heal. You just have to be prepared to accept the consequences of those choices. In her case – in my case – the consequence of only having a professional relationship is knowing that you will always be perpetually alone, that you will never have something deeper.”
Ana nodded as she continued to listen, moving to another rack of dresses, really beginning to worry if there was anything in this department that would cover up the scar on her shoulder.
“In this case, I think that as long as you know the potential consequences of getting involved with Pierce, as long as you know that chances are he will never want more than sex, I think you should do what makes you happy. Forget Morgan. I mean, at some point it would probably be wise to tell him before he finds out the hard way – I think that would be much worse. But, right now, it’s too early for that.”
“Do you think the pleasure right now is worth the pain later?” Ana wondered out loud. “Am I fooling myself? I see how he is… I hear how he was… Am I just asking for trouble?”
“I… I don’t think anyone but you can answer that, doll. And unfortunately, I don’t think you’ll know until you get there.” Tash pulled out a deep purple velvet dress, quickly shoving it back when she saw the gaudy jewel detail on the front. “From my experience, I think that sometimes, you have to have to live in the moment; you can’t always make all the safe choices. And if Pierce wants you and you want him and it’s giving you something that you’ve never had before… then I would take advantage of that.”
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