by Anne Hampson
‘But—!’ Loren stared, her great eyes wide and disbelieving. ‘Then why did you marry him?’
A shrug and a frown. Janet spoke after a small and rather impatient silence.
‘I was too young to make up my mind.’
‘You were twenty-four,’ Loren reminded her. I am only approaching eighteen, she thought, and yet I have made up my mind - and I’ll never change it, never.
‘Robert was too persistent. I should have had more sense than to give in to his persuasions.’ Janet had talked a lot as she unpacked and put her things in drawers and wardrobes. Loren sat on her bed, as she had so often done when she was a child, and watched her cousin. After unpacking Janet had taken particular care with her makeup, and she had spent a long while on her hair. Vaguely Loren recalled that this performance had always taken place when Janet had a boy to meet. At other times she would go about with rollers in her hair and lashings of grease on her face.
‘Has Thane given you to understand he’s in love with you?’ Janet’s voice cut in on Loren’s reflections, jerking her back to the present.
‘He hasn’t told me, not yet.’
Janet turned her head; in the dim light Loren saw what looked very much like bitter disappointment on her face and the incredible idea that Janet had come to Moonrock especially to meet up with Thane again crossed Loren’s mind.
‘Not yet? You sound very confident that he’ll do so.’
Loren stood up.
‘I’d rather not talk about Thane.’ Short tones and crisp - and so very unlike Loren to use them. ‘I’m going to bed.’
‘I definitely do not like your cousin.’ Dena and Loren were out riding before breakfast a couple of days after Janet’s arrival at Moonrock Station. ‘Sorry if I offend, but you know me well enough by now to be sure I’ll speak my mind. We of the inland are straight, and we like straight people. Janet is not straight.’ Loren said nothing and Dena continued, “You told me she was once in love with Thane. Well, she’s in love with him again - or at least she thinks she is. Know something?’ Dena slanted her friend a glance, and took in the slight pallor that tinged her face. ‘I’m of the firm opinion that as soon as she realized she’d had enough of her husband she decided to have another go with Thane.’ They were cantering through the bush tracks; Loren became deep in thought, dwelling on Dena’s words which she knew were true.
‘I believed her to be broken-hearted,’ Loren said in a low voice. ‘That’s why I asked Thane if she could come. She sounded terribly upset in her letter. ’
‘Well, she’s not upset, that’s very plain to see. No wonder her marriage broke up; that girl doesn’t know the meaning of the word constancy.’ A small pause and then, ‘How long is she staying?’
‘I don’t know. A few weeks at least.’ Loren had expected Janet to stay until she had recovered a little from her unhappiness at the failure of her marriage. ... An ironical twist marred the beauty of Loren’s mouth for a fleeting instant. She had felt so upset for Janet, and had determined to do her utmost to comfort her and help her to get over her misery. But she should have known because there never was anything deep about Janet. She lived on the surface of life, accepting what pleasures came along and not troubling herself about tomorrow.
Janet was still in bed when Dena and Loren returned from their ride and Loren later learned that she had ordered breakfast in bed. Prim had taken this up to her, she informed Loren, but
added in a faintly derisive tone,
‘She isn’t ill, Miss Loren, and you only have meals in bed when you are.’
On finishing her breakfast Loren went up to her cousin; she was propped up, with a filmy thing round her shoulders. The breakfast tray was down on the floor beside the bed, while on the table was a cup of tea gone cold.
‘What’s that horrible noise out there?’ was the first thing she asked Loren. ‘It’s absolutely shattering. I was woken up by it -and at the most unearthly hour! There it is again!’
‘It’s a jacko - a kookaburra. Two of them live in the eucalypt. They’re as tame as can be. Thane feeds them from his hand.’
‘A bird, is it? I think it’s hideous. Can’t someone shoot the darned thing?’
Loren’s eyes sparkled.
‘I’ve just said they’re tame. We love having them. And no one ever shoots them because they don’t do any harm.’
Janet smiled faintly, but her voice held a sneer when she spoke.
‘Proper little Australian already, aren’t we?’ She allowed her lids to droop, veiling her eyes. ‘I took a stroll yesterday while you were having your siesta, and I talked to one or two of the stockmen’s wives. Heard all the station gossip, and most interesting it was too. Thane’s been having a time with his grandmother, it seems. Domineering old so-and-so who won’t admit she’s entering into her dotage.’
A sudden frown settled on Loren’s wide brow.
‘Thane wouldn’t be pleased if he knew you’ d been gossiping to the stockmen’s wives. Dena told me when I first came that I must be friendly but not familiar. ’
‘So the Boss of Moonrock’s stuck up, is he? Never noticed it in the old days, but then he was younger,’ Janet added reminiscently. ‘He’s changed; he’s more exciting, though—’ She broke off, her eyes glinting with amusement at Loren’s expression. ‘Do you know how exciting? — or are you still the little mouse you used to be?’
‘I’m afraid,’ said Loren assuming an air of dignity, ‘that I have no idea what you’re talking about.’ Deliberately she avoided Janet’s gaze, knowing full well that the amusement was
still in her eyes. A strange pause ensued before Janet spoke.
‘The women - in fact all the people on the station - are expecting a wedding soon. ’
Loren’s heart gave a little thud. She had been staring at the underwear on the floor, dropped there last night and never picked up, but at Janet’s words she lifted her head sharply, soft colour fusing her cheeks.
‘They - they have to talk about something.’
‘But you’re expecting to marry Thane, so cut out the naivete and shy maiden pose. We now know the reason why he insisted on your coming here. It certainly was a puzzle to me that he wouldn’t let you stay in England and make you an allowance from your money, it being so much simpler from his point of view. But now it’s plain what he had in mind.’
‘Plain?’ Nerve-ends twitched all over Loren’s body.
‘Come off it! You must know what he’s about—’
‘Thane loves me!’ Loren cut in, impelled by some desperate desire to stop the flow of Janet’s words even though she was not quite sure what her cousin meant to say. ‘I know he does! I can tell.’
‘Love?’ Janet’s brows shot up. ‘You idiot, Loren. Why in heaven’s name don’t you grow up and get wise to the ways of men? Love!’ She burst out laughing and it was some time before she sobered up sufficiently to speak. ‘Thane’s gran is mistress here until Thane marries — everyone knows that. But she’ll step down if he gets himself a wife; she’s told him she will. And so,’ continued Janet in a softly-purring tone, ‘he’s decided to take you.’ She looked rather pityingly at her. ‘Are you really so stupid that you haven’t seen through the whole thing? I’d have cottoned on at once.’ Idly Janet breathed on her fingernails, then polished them on the counterpane, her narrowed gaze on Loren’s face, from which the colour had faded as suddenly as it had risen.
Like a deluge of freezing water several things struck Loren, things that had happened since she came to Moonrock. Gran Amelia’s warning which at the time had been so cryptic, ‘... just you be prepared ... and think well before you fall in with Thane’s plan. What good a little hothouse plant like you will do in a place like this heaven knows. I never thought to see a namby-pamby like you ...’ Then Prof s saying it was an odd business, her coming as the Boss’s ward. Everyone had considered it strange that he had not made some provision for her so that she could have stayed in England, Prof had said, and ended by declaring that there was some
reason of which Thane alone knew but which all would learn about eventually. Even Dena had had her suspicions at one time, Loren now knew, but Dena was now of the opinion that Thane was in love with his ward. How wrong she was!
Loren also remembered the amused glances she had received from the first moment of Thane’s taking a real interest in her; she recalled Gran Amelia’s asking her, on the morning following the shed dance, if Thane had said anything ‘ significant’.
Dumbly she stared at Janet, accepting the accuracy of her deductions and admitting that she should have reached them herself, long ago, when she first came to Moonrock. Icy fingers of disillusionment clutched her heart and her throat was too dry for speech. What a simpleton she had been! - sublimely believing Thane to be in love with her. She should have known that a man like the Boss of Moonrock would never fall in love with anyone like her.
‘He c-could have married Felicity.’ Loren spoke in an abstracted way, not to Janet at all, but to herself. ‘If it were only because of Gran Amelia he could have had her. It would have been much simpler than bringing me over here.’ Loren was staring unseeingly at her cousin, vaguely recalling her own assertion that Thane would never marry just to best his grandmother, but not in any way heeding the recollection. Janet was frowning in puzzlement, but triumph looked out from her eyes, triumph which Loren missed because her cousin’s lashes came down suddenly.
‘What are you mumbling about? Who’s Felicity?’
Loren continued to stare at her cousin in a dazed sort of way, the icy chill which had pervaded her whole body giving way to the numbness of despair.
‘She’s a girl who lives on another station. Thane’s a friend of her father.’ Automatic words; Loren scarcely knew what she said. ‘He could have asked her to marry him.’
A moment’s silence followed.
‘The reason’s obvious,’ submitted Janet at length. ‘Thane never really wanted a wife - I knew that. And didn’t his father always say so? It used to trouble Mr. Benedict, if you remember?’ Loren merely nodded. She had taken a step backwards, as if she wanted to get out of this room where all her hopes had been shattered. ‘When a confirmed bachelor is forced for some reason to take a wife he naturally chooses a girl who’ll be meek and docile and not expect too much of him. ’
Janet’s words were reminiscent of those uttered by Dena when she had declared that Thane would not have much time for a wife, even if he did marry. Her function would be to provide him with sons, so ensuring the succession and the keeping of Moonrock in Benedict hands.
‘Are you going to marry him, now that you know he’s only
making use of you?’ Heartless words, and Loren flinched. She
shook her head dully, saying she would tell Thane that he and
she must return to the old relationship of guardian and ward.
Janet watched her as she swallowed convulsively; the older
girl’s lashes came down again, masking her expression. ‘I
shouldn’t give him any reason, if I were you,’ she murmured,
polishing her nails again, then examining them with deep
concentration.
‘Why shouldn’t I give him the reason?’
A careless shrug and then,
‘Please yourself, of course. But were I in your place I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing he’d made a fool of me; I’d be most anxious to save my face.’
Loren nodded. She would take her cousin’s advice. Thane should never know that she had been stupid enough to trust him, and to fall in love with him. Tears began to press against her eyes and she turned away, only half aware of the jacko outside, laughing in his customary manner, proclaiming to the world that it was good to be alive.
Loren’s opportunity came later in the day when she was sitting in a little arbour, staring into space. Thane saw her there as he was striding through the garden, intent on discovering why the sprinklers had not been working. He stopped, smiled, and on a rather boyish impulse which seemed far removed from the Boss of Moonrock, bent down to place a kiss on her forehead.
She stiffened visibly and spoke in an icy voice that in no way resembled her own.
‘I don’t think you should keep on forgetting your role like this, Thane. You’re my guardian and I am your ward, and I prefer to keep our relationship on that footing. ’
The silence of amazement followed as Thane straightened up. ‘What sort of a joke is this?’ he asked, looking rather anxiously into her eyes as if he were wondering if she were ill. ‘Do you know what you’ve just said?’
Her head came up as she endeavoured to appear proud, and coldly indifferent.
‘Of course. I’ve asked you to remember your role - and keep to it. ’
Another silence. Thane’s mouth had tightened, but his expression was still one of puzzlement, as he stood there, the man looked up to and respected by everyone, having been rebuffed by a slip of a girl ... and appearing more hurt than angry. He might have been truly in love with her the way he was acting, Loren thought. But of course he was not in love with her. He had tried to make her believe he was, simply because he knew she was not the kind of girl who would marry for any other reason than love.
‘I seem to remember,’ Thane said in a very soft tone, ‘that you once said you didn’t mind in the least that I hadn’t acted in the way a guardian should. ’
‘Oh, that,’ returned Loren airily. ‘I expect I was feeling in a flirting mood.’
‘You—! ’ Evidence of anger now, in the sudden flaring of his nostrils. She had seen them flare like that before, when Cooper had defied him. Gran Amelia’s flared on occasions, Loren recalled. How like his grandmother he was at this moment! How formidable and arrogantly superior. ‘You’re lying! You’re not the sort of girl to flirt.’
So he had realized that, had he? Which was understandable, since she had never quite managed to throw off her shyness when Thane was giving her his attention. ‘What’s happened?’ he demanded when she did not speak. ‘Answer me!’ Loren merely swallowed and then gave a little cry as she was brought to her feet by the rough drag on her wrist. Thane brought her close beside him and he was so angry now that her heart jerked with a thud that startled her. He stared down into her pale face and rasped, ‘Who have you been talking to? Someone must have said something to make you turn like this. Don’t stand there looking like a terrified schoolgirl! Answer my question!’ ‘I haven’t b-been talking to anyone.’ She gulped away the fear in her throat, afraid of him and half inclined to tell him the whole truth. But no, she would not let him see how stupid she had been. ‘I don’t know why y-you’re so angry. I’m n-not asking anything unreasonable of you. ’
He released her. No sign of a furious temper now as he looked at her, but his eyes glinted and his mouth was tight. For the first time in his adult life he was smarting under the rap of humiliation. A nerve twitching in his cheek gave evidence of the deep emotion which disturbed him. With a stir of memory Loren recalled that he had suffered humiliation at her hands on two separate occasions when he was a teenager. She wondered if he also were remembering this.
‘Very well,’ he snapped. ‘From now on I’m your guardian -nothing more!’
His manner after that became one of total indifference; he never spoke unless it was necessary; he had not ridden with her in the morning or walked with her in the evening for the past two days. But he had been charming to Janet, and naturally this change could not go unnoticed by people like Prof and Stew and Dena. Gran Amelia ‘had not been with them’, as Dena put it. She sat at the dinner table looking vacantly in front of her, so she had not noticed that Thane’s interest had been switched from one cousin to the other. Prof had spoken to Loren about this one afternoon as they sat, as usual, having their chat on the verandah. He had been hesitant at first, but as this approach was ineffective in drawing Loren out he said bluntly,
‘What’s gone wrong between you and the Boss, Loren?
We were all expecting a wedding here with great
celebrations and feasting and dancing in the shed. ’
She turned dull glazed eyes to his.
‘You know why he brought me here, don’t you?’
A swift frown crossed Prof s face, but he nodded in answer to her question.
‘We all guessed, eventually, when it became apparent that he meant to marry you.’ A small pause and then, ‘I suppose you know that your cousin gossips with the stockmen’ wives?’
‘She talked to them once, the other day—’
‘She did yesterday, and the day before. Dare say she’ll be over again later today. She was in Jed Holmes’ place yesterday when I passed. Can’t say I care a great deal about Jed’s wife. Women here must natter or they’d go mad, but Jed’s wife can be dangerous.’
Loren’s eyes remained on Profs face; she noted the anxiety written there, anxiety for her, and for the Boss.
‘I did tell Janet that Thane wouldn’t like her to gossip with the wives of the stockmen and I took it for granted that she would take notice of what I said. ’ Prof was thoughtful and she paused a moment before adding, ‘Why have you brought that up? - the matter of Janet’s going over to the bungalows, I mean?’
‘She been saying that you discovered the reason for the Boss’s interest in you and that you’ve told him where to go.’ Loren stared in disbelief. How could Janet have repeated that? - and after she herself had advised Loren not to enlighten Thane as to the reason for her wishing to bring their relationship back on to its original course.
‘I’ll have to talk to Janet. She mustn’t keep on going over there and gossiping.’
‘You’d better talk to her, because if the Boss gets to hear of it there’ll be trouble for your cousin. It won’t matter to him that she’s a guest in his house.’
‘He seems to be quite fond of her,’ Loren murmured absently, ‘ so he might not be angry with her. ’
‘Fond?’ Prof’s eyes were compassionate, his voice low and rather gentle. ‘I asked you what went wrong,’ he reminded her, and after only the merest hesitation she confided the whole to him, because she was dreadfully lonely and unhappy and Prof was fatherly and understanding. He listened with visibly rising anger. Loren had never seen this kind of expression on the benign old face; strangely, it gave her comfort, told her that she was not quite alone with her misery.