Seize

by Clarissa Wild

  “I did it because I care about you. At first, I didn’t want to admit it, but I do. I tried everything to keep you at bay and to tell myself that I didn’t want you, but I do. I fucking need you now.” He grabs my face with both his hands and stares me dead in the eye. “And I’m not going to let you get away. Ever. Again.”

  He caresses my cheek with his thumb and leans his forehead against mine. “Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”

  “I think that I have no idea what to think right now.”

  He laughs. “You’re a bit overwhelmed, which is understandable.”

  A tear rolls down my cheeks. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s the stress my body is trying to release through tears.

  “I think that you are handling this quite well, actually.”

  “Whatever that means right now …” I mumble.

  He wipes my tear away with his thumb, his smile slowly disappearing. “I know you probably hate me right now, and you should. I shot those pictures of your friend and kept them in my home so I could show them to you one day. I had always imagined seeking forgiveness for the horrible things I did, and for what they did as well, but never thought it would happen like this. Still, I know nothing that I say will make things right. Which is why I will keep you with me so I can show you that I do care. So you will want me again.”

  “But―”

  “Shh…” He places his hand over my mouth, preventing me from speaking. “Don’t say anything you’ll regret. I don’t want to hear it. I will tell you when I am willing to receive your judgment, but it’s not today. Today, there is much more work to be done, starting with sending those pictures to them so they will stop looking for you and leave us in peace.”

  He smiles, his voice darkening with every word he speaks. “And today is also the day that I will regain your trust by whatever means necessary. I may be sorry for the things we did to you, your mother, and your friend, but I’m not sorry for making love to you the way I did. I have wicked cravings, and I don’t deny that they are rather … objectionable, but that is just the way I am and you will have to learn to accept it. I know you will, in time. You crave them, too, after all. Which is what I plan to do for the rest of today after I’ve sent these pictures off. The talking part is done now, so I’ll continue with my conquest to rule your body. Make it mine again. Hearing yourself beg is the only way to realize how much you truly need me.”

  With his body, he presses me down on the mattress, making me painfully aware of the fact that we’re both still naked, that I’m trapped in this room, and that his cock is growing firm again.

  There is no way I can say no. Even if I said it a million times, he wouldn’t listen, and it wouldn’t be true. Because deep down in my heart, I know that I still want his love.

  However wretched it is.

  Accompanying song: “Cain” by Cousin Marnie

  Providence, Rhode Island – June 8th, 2013

  It’s been six days since I’ve been outside. Six days since I found out the truth about my horrifying experience, since I discovered Sebastian had been part of the plot the whole time. Six days since Sebastian contacted the men and told them that he had captured me and taken me back where I belong.

  They had not contacted him up until now, which had us both anxiously waiting. I’m still uncertain as to what Sebastian’s motives are and whether he truly wants to bring them to justice, but I can do nothing other than trust him. He accepts nothing less.

  His wound has healed, but mine hasn’t. A scar is in its place, on both his shoulder and my heart. It seems as though being shot hasn’t had the slightest effect on him. His strength and conviction are even more present than before. These last few days, he has degraded me and turned me into a slave for his love. I’ve grown accustomed to his roughness, his bad streak, his never-ending lust. My body and mind have come to expect no less from him, and I even find myself enjoying it. I’ve left my morals behind me, and I feel free around him. There is only one thing keeping me from letting go completely: Ashley.

  Sebastian promised me that he would do everything to get her to safety, too, but it’s not going to be easy. The men do not trust him anymore, so they’re probably keeping tabs on him, which is why he needs to regain their trust.

  I’m sitting at the table, eating lunch with Sebastian when his phone rings. As he takes the call, his face turns pale. “What? You told them?”

  He suddenly slams his fork into the table, startling me. “You promised me that you’d do it! I don’t fucking care about your safety.”

  He spews the words like spitting lava from his mouth. “Fuck you, too. I’ll deal with you later.”

  He slams the phone down on the table and roars out loud. I’ve never seen him so violent before, and it makes me want to back away from this room slowly, except, I know he wouldn’t allow it.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  “Fucking imbecile at the hospital!” Sebastian rages, shoving his chair back and getting up. “I told him to keep his damn mouth shut, but he couldn’t take the pressure yet again.”

  “What happened?”

  Now he directs his anger toward me. His icy blue eyes could almost kill someone right now; that’s how sharp they look. “I told them that you were at the hospital, and I got one of the doctors who work there to lie for me. And now he stopped lying.”

  “Oh, no…”

  He’s pacing around the room like a madman. “Oh, yes, and he told them that you were missing. Again. Succumbed to their pressure.”

  My eyes widen, and my stomach knots. I’m suddenly not hungry anymore. It takes one second to realize what this means. “They think I’m with you.”

  “Yes. The doctor said they’d be calling me in a minute, which is why I’m going to the library right now.”

  “I’m coming with you.”

  “What?” he snaps. “You’re insane for even suggesting that.”

  “I don’t care. Now that I know everything, I’m going to tell them what I think and then kill them,” I sneer, lost in rage just thinking about them.

  He laughs. “You don’t stand a chance.”

  Fury has blinded me from reason. “I can try. At least that’s worth something.”

  He squints, standing still for a second. Then his lips part. “No.”

  What? That’s all he’s going to say? No? Just like that.

  “I need to come with you, Sebastian. I have to see them with my own eyes. You can’t take this from me.”

  “Oh, yes, I can.” He turns around and grabs his coat, adjusting his tie before zipping up. “You’re blinded by rage right now. That’s fine, but I will not let you risk your life. You’re far too precious to me for that.”

  I’m flattered by the compliment, but it’s not enough to persuade me. I get up from my chair and stampede toward him. This time, I’m not taking no for an answer. In the back of my mind, the light has gone off and all I can think of are their despicable faces haunting me in the dark. Watching me, prowling on Ashley and I, pouncing on us like rabid dogs. I want to slit their throats.

  I’ve never felt the urge to kill before, but boy, is it a rush.

  “Stay. Here,” Sebastian barks, pointing at my room. “You will not leave your room until I come home.”

  “I’m tired of sitting idly by while you go off to meet them. I want to see their faces when I tell them that they aren’t even worthy of being the shit on the bottom of my shoe. I want to hear their screams as I jam a knife in them.” Licking my lips, I look at the metallic glint of the knife tucked in his front pocket. This is the first time that I’ve thought of holding it as a weapon myself.

  A slight smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “I admire your fire, little fairy. I’m glad you found it again.”

  He places his thumb on the fingerprint scanner that opens the door. “But do not waste it on them. Let me handle this.”

  He opens the door, blocking my way when I try to push past him so I can tag along. Oh, hell no. The smell of freedo
m lights a spark in my veins that sets me ablaze. I’m no longer that weak woman I once was. Broken, brittle, and bruised, I have mended my own shards and put them back together with black tape and glue. Nothing on this earth will stop me from getting out of here.

  So I launch my pretty red, pointed shoes right into his backside, flipping the point straight into his crotch. Sebastian cringes, groaning, and he grabs his junk with both hands, sinking slowly to the floor.

  “Sorry, Sebastian. Nothing personal,” I say, running past him while I have a chance.

  “Or maybe it is!” I yell afterward.

  He deserved that pain for all the things that he agreed to participate in. He’s been a bad guy, so a kick in the nuts is a nice retaliation. Serves him right.

  I rush down the hall, ignoring his roars as he calls out my name and demands that I stop. Tasting freedom is riveting, and for the first time in ages, I feel alive. My legs take me down the stairs, not caring to wait for the elevator, and I run down to the lowest level, sprinting out the door. Fresh air has never smelled this good. I move through the crowd on the sidewalk, careful not to bump into anyone. Gazing back, I check to see Sebastian anywhere, but it seems that he’s not following me.

  It’s then that my face meets a hard wall, and I stumble back on my feet. The wall isn’t made of stone, but of human flesh, and the eyes staring down at me make me choke on my own breath.

  “Look what we have here …”

  Two minutes ago

  Right when I’m getting up to my feet, my phone rings again, so I pick it up.

  “What?” I snap.

  “She escaped, again. How could you let this happen?” It’s Arthur.

  “I don’t know,” I lie. “I just got a call from the doctor; I thought she’d be safe there.”

  “Well, she’s probably too smitten with you to sit back and stay where she belongs. It’s your fault. You got too close, now you have to sit on the burn.”

  “No, I’ll fix this, I promise. I’ll make her hate me even more. Trust me; I’ve been doing my very best. I’m just fucking her and messing with her head. That’s all I’m doing.”

  “Right …” He clears his throat. “We should meet.”

  “Yes, I’m coming to the club right now.”

  “No, that won’t be necessary,” he says.

  “What? Why not?”

  “Well, Hubert thinks that you never brought her back there to begin with, and I have a suspicion that he might be right.”

  “What? No, that’s not at all the case.” I pull at my collar to get rid of this choking feeling.

  “Whatever it is, we will find out soon enough. We’re on our way to your home right now.”

  My eyes grow wide. It takes me a few seconds to respond. “Ah–okay.”

  Fuck.

  “The car is just pulling up, so we’ll be there in a few minutes.”

  “You’re already here?” I ask, a little too loud.

  “Yes, does it surprise you?”

  I close the phone.

  Fuck! I have to get her back right now.

  I scramble out of the door, almost tripping over my own shoelaces, which are loose because of my hastiness, but at this moment, it doesn’t matter. I rush down the stairs, not bothering to take the elevator because it’ll only slow me down. As I run out the door, I frantically look around, trying to find her.

  When I do, my heart is ripped out of my chest.

  Arthur has his hands clutched around her side, horror clearly visible on her face as they drag her back to his limo. Gaping, I watch, anger and fear tearing me apart as she’s stuffed into the car and the door closes. I stumble across the pavement, my hand reaching for a ghost that has long disappeared.

  My little fairy is gone, taken by the evil of this world. I failed her.

  After all I did to keep her safe, she’s still snagged away from me, just like that.

  Defeat washes over me, tugging at my heart, but then I push it away again. I won’t go down that easily. I made a promise, and I’m sticking with it, no matter how tough it gets. I’ll get her out of there, and I’ll set her free, even if I have to sacrifice my own life for it.

  I will give her the peace that she deserves.

  Accompanying Song: “XL-TT” by Hiroyuki Sawano

  My screams do not penetrate through the thick hands that cover my mouth. A man is pressing me into him, holding my hands behind my back while someone else puts a rope around them. A grin is plastered across his face, one that I recognize. This guy is one of them, the monsters were coming for me and now they have me in their claws again.

  I yell for Sebastian, for help, for anyone, but all I hear is their faint muttering and laughter.

  “Stop crying, girl,” one of them says.

  His voice sends chills down my spine. I recognize the sound.

  “It’s no use. No one’s going to come looking for you.”

  It’s him; the man who took Ashley and used her like a sex doll. The one who stole my mom from my dad and then killed her. Newman. He’s in the front passenger seat, looking back at me over his shoulder with a smug smile and a cigar in his hands.

  “Lucky we found you wandering across the street,” he says. “Wouldn’t want you to fall into the wrong hands.”

  “Let go of me,” I scream through Arthur’s hand.

  He shushes me. “Now, now, calm down. Nothing to be worried about. We’re just taking you back to where you belong.”

  The one in the front seat, Newman, twirls his finger close to his scalp. “Back to the nutter.”

  Fear drains me of my energy while I struggle to breathe. The stench of Arthur’s hands on my mouth is making me want to hurl. However, I’m not going to let them take me without a fight.

  So I kick and scream, biting his hand, making him yelp as well. The back of my head is smacked, and everything spins. With a banging headache, I continue pushing and shoving at everything around me, trying to make it as hard as I can for them, trying to give Sebastian enough time to come and save me.

  If he is even coming to save me.

  How would he save me from this? One against four is never going to work. He can’t win, and he doesn’t want to. He said so himself; he still needs their trust in order to defeat them.

  This is when I realize that nobody will come to rescue me. It’s all on me now.

  “Say, pretty girl, how much do you know?” Newman says. “Can you remember me?”

  I want to shout and tell him to fuck off, but I realize that anything I say can be used against me quite literally. If I say anything that pisses them off, I know that I’m done for. They don’t give a shit about my life; they’ve proven it. There is only one way that they will ever let me live, and that is when I lie.

  So I shake my head and breathe through my nose to let the anger out.

  “You don’t know us?” He laughs. “Oh, this is too good to be true.”

  He puts the cigar in his mouth.

  “Maybe Sebastian was telling the truth after all,” the one beside me says. “He did say that he was well on his way with his book. Maybe it is going according to plan and this little redhead just can’t seem to stay away from him, that’s all.”

  “Maybe so, but it’s still dangerous to have her walk on the streets like this,” the one holding me down says. “Whatever she forgot will undoubtedly someday resurface and I’d prefer it to be kept quiet.”

  My eyes widen at the sight of his other hand reaching into his pocket. Oh no … Then he switches the hand he was holding over my mouth with the one carrying a cloth. I know what that is … I know all too well. The smell, the burning sensation in my throat, the way it fills my lungs with toxic fumes has me screaming bloody murder, but to no avail. Darkness is falling over my eyes—no matter how much I try to keep them open, force myself to stay awake. I cannot lose, because if I do, these monsters can do with me whatever they desire. My body is trembling, my eyes skidding right and left, waiting for them to pounce me like hyenas.

&nbs
p; They’ll devour me whole.

  Accompanying song: “Nice to Meet Me” by Zack Hemsey (Instrumental)

  Hours later

  A raging headache and stabbing pain in my stomach makes me tumble over and puke. I’m only half-awake and yet it keeps coming. My body does not take well to being drugged. After I’m down, I roll back and lie down. It takes a few seconds for me to realize where I am. On a bed in an icy white room, covered in only white padding. I swallow as I let it sink in. The lamp above me sways back and forth, a sign that either someone was in here just a second ago or that the wind is blowing, which is impossible. There are no windows. That, or I’m losing my mind for real this time.

  I don’t recognize this place and yet I do. For some reason, it feels familiar, even though I’ve never been in this room before. What is this place?

  I sit up straight, careful not to move too much because I might puke again. I lied a couple of seconds ago. There is actually a window, but it’s inside the door, and the only thing I can see is more white walls. On wobbly feet, I walk toward the door and gaze outside. Nothing. Not a soul in sight, nor anything else tangible.

  This is it. I’ve truly gone back to the institution.

  When it sinks in, I place my hands on the door and yell, “Is someone there?”

  No one responds.

  I start slamming the door. “Let me out!”

  Nobody is coming to let me out nor will anyone tell me where I am or what I’m doing here. If this is truly the institution and the men have really brought me back here, then I’m lost for good. I knew after I ran from this place that if I ever came back here they wouldn’t let me out of their sight. I was right. They locked me up in a room with no exit, no way out. I’m trapped.

  I scream and yelp, banging on the door like mad, but it feels like I’m the only one in this entire building. I sink to the floor on my knees, sobbing, drowning in my own fear. I feel helpless and confined to a place where I do not belong.