I can see it in her eyes.
Her body isn’t filled with life.
Her soul is wrecked by evil.
“Yes, my dear … do you see now?” Newman says. “This woman isn’t worth your love.”
“No …” I shake my head, taking a step back with each ragged breath.
“She isn’t even worth her own life,” he says.
“Lillith …” my mother murmurs. “I killed him. I killed your father.”
Accompanying song: “Skyfall” by Adele
Time stops. Everything around me ceases to exist. Even my heart seems to have stopped.
Life has just fallen apart. The ground feels like it opens beneath my feet and I’m swallowed whole by the earth.
My father has been long dead, and my mother just admitted that she was his murderer.
Tears roll down my cheeks as I face the woman I once loved. Scars inside my mind open up, memories from long ago pouring out. Her fearful but determined gaze brings me back to a time where I realized people were imperfect, hateful, scared creatures only interested in their own survival.
People are selfish, and in their effort to preserve themselves, they commit the most heinous of crimes.
7 months ago
When I come inside the house, the first thing I hear is a door slam. It’s so loud; I jolt up and down from the sound.
“Hello?” I call out, looking around.
No one responds.
There’s no one in the living room and I don’t think it came from upstairs. I make my way to the kitchen and find my mother staring at the water pouring out of the faucet. She leans over the sink, one hand on the counter, the other on her cheek. She glances at me when I walk in, and then she immediately turns her head again, grabbing some of the dishes and putting them in the water.
“What’s wrong?”
She sniffs, scrubbing the plates hard. “Nothing …”
“Yeah, there is. I heard the door slam. What is going on?”
“Nothing!” she yells, dropping the dishes. Water splashes all over the floor. She still won’t look at me.
“Mom, look at me,” I say, turning her around. What I see makes me gasp. One side of her face is red and swollen, and when she spots me gaping at it, she folds her hand over the mark.
“What happened?”
“Nothing … I slipped.”
“Yeah, and what about that slamming door?” I scoff. “Someone was in here, wasn’t there?”
“Don’t worry about it, he left. It’s nothing. How was your day, darling?”
“Mom …” I say, grabbing her hand and forcing it down. “Who was it? He did this to you, didn’t he?”
“What?” she says, laughing, trying to turn around again. “Of course not. Now, go on, tell me about your day. Oh, I forgot, there’s some fresh juice in the fridge. Want some?” She tucks one of her hands in her pocket and opens the fridge with the other.
“Mom. Stop lying.”
I know he hurt her, whoever he was. Must’ve been one of those men she flirts with, but I’ll find out who it was and I’ll make sure he is punished for it.
I jerk her arm when she refuses to answer me and speak the truth. It’s then that a bottle falls from her pocket, the one her hand was in. She immediately glances at the bottle. I gaze at her and see the fear seep from her eyes. I lunge for the bottle at the same time she does. Lucky for me, my reflexes are better, and I grasp it first.
“Lillith …” she murmurs as I get up on my feet and read the inscription.
Polonium-210.
She snatches the bottle away from me. Her face has taken on an unrecognizable darkness. I take a step back as she holds the bottle close to her chest and stares at me.
“Go to your room.”
I frown, my eyes going back and forth between her and the bottle. My mom isn’t my mom anymore.
“Go. Now!”
Accompanying Song: “The Hunt” by Johnny Jewel & Nat Walker
Present
“Polonium …” I whisper. “You poisoned him?”
Tears stream down her face, her lips curled by disgust. “I’m sorry, Lillith.”
My legs are shaking beneath me. “You poisoned my dad?” I utter in defeat.
“I had no other choice …” she mumbles.
“How could you?”
I can’t keep the tears at bay anymore. What I see in front of me fills me with misery. My world is crumbling down in front of me. The woman I once knew and loved is the one I should hate the most.
“I’m sorry …” she says again. “I didn’t want to, but he made me do it. I had no other choice, Lillith. Please, believe me. He would’ve killed me if I didn’t go through with it.”
“Who?” I snap.
Her eyes move to my shoulder, glancing briefly at something behind me before returning to me. I freeze. Oh God, no … this is what’s been happening all along. Of course, it all makes sense now.
It was him … Newman.
He came into our house after buttering up to my mom. She’d been flirting on and off with him, pretending it didn’t happen while she was betraying my father behind his back. I should’ve known it was him, instructing her to kill him when the time came and she could no longer refuse. He threatened her, hit her in the face, reminding her who was in charge. It all happened before I came home, but I can see it play out in front of me.
She wanted to be loved. Instead, she got death and a punishment suitable for a monster.
Newman remains where he is, unmoving, and it strikes me as odd. Maybe he didn’t see my mom pointing him out as the one responsible with her eyes. So I make a move to prevent my cover from being blown and him knowing that I remember everything.
I pretend that I never saw her eyes move. “You won’t tell me, huh?” I say.
She shakes her head. “I’m so sorry …”
“Sorry won’t bring him back,” I snap.
Even if my question was fake, the anger I feel is real. “You’re a murderer.”
She killed him. No matter what way she twists this, her words cannot hide the truth. Ultimately, she was the one who gave the poison to him, not Newman. She sacrificed my father’s life so she could save her own.
“I had to. I had to …” she repeats, her voice growing softer.
“No!” I yell.
Blinded by rage, I jump at her, slapping her straight in the face. Newman is right behind me, yelling at me, but I don’t hear anything anymore. All I can see is my father’s withering face, his dying body, and beautiful soul that was drained out of him. It’s all because of her.
I hate her.
My fingers wrap around her neck.
I want to kill her.
Something hits my head from behind.
Stars appear in my view and I black out.
Hours later
I wake up strapped to a bed. I don’t know where I am or how I came to be here, but I do recognize the room as the same one that I was in before. My head feels like it’s about to explode. My body ignites with energy the moment I realize that I saw my mother. She’s alive. And she killed my father.
I push myself up from the bed, only to discover that I can’t move. My ankles and wrists are bound to the bed. There is no escape. I’m trapped.
I scream. “Help!”
I do it again and again, thrashing in the bed, trying to draw attention. I’m hurt, I can feel it, and yet nobody seems to care. The back of my head is bleeding, probably from the fact that I was hit with a blunt object. Whatever it was, I’m surprised I can still feel it and remember everything. I almost come to expect memory loss nowadays, especially after something as traumatic as what I just learned.
Suddenly, someone opens the door. It’s Newman. With his arms crossed and a smug smile on his face, he leans against the doorpost, staring at me.
“How are you?”
I gaze at him, my eyes catching the G pinned to his shirt, before answering. “Hurt.”
“Rightfully so.”
/> “I was talking about my head.” I will give him no emotions whatsoever. It’s what he wants. Showing emotion only means he’s won, although I’m not sure how long I can keep it up.
He muffles a laugh. “Keep telling yourself that.”
“Who are you, exactly?” I ask, adding to my lie in order to keep up the charade.
“Don’t pretend that you don’t know. I can see through all that.”
He circles his finger in the air. “That little thing you’ve got going on there? Playing pretend? Yeah, it’s not working.”
He laughs. “My name is Hubert Newman, but you already know that. Sebastian told you everything there is to know about us. I know he did; I can see through his lies. I wasn’t entirely convinced at first, but when I saw your little act, I realized that you were both playing us. I know Sebastian is messing with us and I know that you’re part of his game. Do you think I don’t notice your hatred? Did you think that I wouldn’t recognize the face of a girl who sees her worst enemy standing right in front of her?”
In shock, my eyes widen, and my heart starts to race.
“Surprise? Nah … I don’t believe it.” He cocks his head. “You should know that I’m doing everything I can to thwart his plans. No worries, I’ll roast him first. He should pay for his insolence. After that, I’ll make sure that he never comes between us and our mission.”
“What mission?”
He smiles like the devil. “To use and abuse anything and everything we deem interesting … because this is our world, our playground, and I will not allow anyone to ruin it.”
I swallow, fear careening through my veins, causing my body to jumpstart into action, but I won’t allow myself to feel threatened by him—not anymore. I’m past that point. Creatures like him deserve to die a slow painful death. I won’t give him my anxiety because it would cause more harm than good.
“Did you come here just to belittle me? Because it’s not working,” I say, seething. If I were free of these restraints, I’d be at his throat right now.
“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow. “Pity.”
He smiles widely. “Then I’ll have to take it up a notch. Did you know the poison your mother used on your father is a rare product produced by uranium in a reactor? An element so rare it can never be bought on the black market, let alone a legal one. Of course, you must know by now that our means are … shall we say … endless.”
He squints then lowers his head. “It has an ugly side effect.”
Side effect? What’s he talking about? I know reactors have something to do with radiation, which explains why my father got so violently ill all of the sudden.
“You see, when someone comes into contact with radioactive material although very limited, it causes violent reactions inside the body. Your mother, of course, being the stupid sow that she was, took a sip from the wrong cup.”
“Don’t you dare call her names!” I yell.
“Oh? You still care? Did you forget about the part where she told you that she killed your dad?” He gazes at me, and when he sees the frustration on my face, he bursts into laughter.
“This is too good to watch.”
“Shut up. Just shut up.” I don’t want to hear about how my mother poisoned herself in the process of killing my dad. It’s too much right now. I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel; pity, hatred, fear, sorrow. It’s all coming at once.
“Oh, my dear girl, I’m not finished messing with you yet. You see … your mother didn’t want to wait until nature’s call.”
I sit up straight as far as my shackles will take me, gasping for air. “What?”
“You didn’t hear yet? And here I thought the nurses were quick to tell,” he hums. “Seems they’ve been taught well here. Better keep your mouth shut or else …”
“What is happening to my mom?” I yell.
“Nothing.” He grins. “Not anymore, that is. When she went on a bathroom break, there was a little accident. I guess the nurses didn’t think to keep their eyes peeled and accompany her. Hmm … or maybe it’s because I told them not to bother.”
“WHAT happened?” I shriek.
What was left of my heart shatters when he opens his mouth and speaks. “She couldn’t live with the guilt anymore, so she hung herself with the shower curtain.”
Accompanying song: “Hurricane” by Thirty Seconds To Mars
Hours later
I’ve lost all sense of reality. Whether it’s night or day, I wouldn’t know. The lights are always on and there are no windows to see the sun or the moon. A whirlwind of emotions storm through my head, too fast for me to keep up. I thought I had lost my mother to strangers, monsters in the dark. Turns out, she has been alive all this time. I found her, only to lose her again. Twice I have experienced the death of my mother.
Twice they have to pay for their sins.
I stare at the ceiling, blinking away the nothingness clouding my judgment. I want to cry but can’t. I have no more tears to shed. I hate her, but I loved her. I missed her, but I’m glad she’s dead. She deserved to die for what she did … but not like that. Not alone and miserable.
Still, nothing I can do will change this fact. I will just have to learn to live again.
However, I can’t get this creeping thought out of my head that there was more to it than I’m seeing now.
My door creaks open, and I lift my head to see who comes in. It’s a nurse; a different one from the lady I hit on the head. I swallow as she steps closer and sweeps her eyes over me as if she’s checking if I’m really strapped to the bed. As if she’s afraid that I’ll hit her, too.
She’s right, I might.
My muscles can only think about one thing and that’s getting the hell out of here.
The woman pulls a syringe from her pocket.
“What are you going to do with that?” I ask.
She doesn’t answer. Instead, she comes even closer and rolls up my sleeves. I push myself away from her as far as I can, cringing. Whatever is in that syringe, I am not having it. I don’t trust anyone here. It can’t be good, but I’m locked in place, unable to escape.
“Get away from me!” I scream, jerking on the restraints.
When the needle enters my arm, I yell, “Fuck!”
At first it’s hot, and then I can slowly feel the numbness creep in. At first, it’s only my arm, but then it moves down to my legs and soon my entire body is affected. It feels like exhaustion. Although I know that can’t be it, because I’ve just slept, but I can’t help but feel drowsy. My eyes barely stay open and when I open my mouth, nothing comes out. My throat has gone dry, my vocal cords unable to pronounce words. One last look at her guilty face and I’m gone.
Accompanying song: “Angel” by Massive Attack
When I wake up again, my head feels woozy. Everything is still a blur, and I have to wait until I can make out where I am. A small room with one light shining right into my face. I blink a couple of times, pushing the sand from my eyes while I try to awaken my muscles. It’s impossible. They are strapped yet again. This time my chest is against the chair, and I struggle to breathe as I look up. There are rows of windows in front of me. Figures are behind them, and I don’t know what they are, but once they move, I realize they are people.
What in the hell is this?
My lips part but my vocal cords can only muster a groan.
“Good morning, Miss. Did you have a nice sleep?”
The voice comes from the speaker. I don’t know who it is, but I recognize the sound. Shivers run up and down my spine. It’s then that I realize I can feel the cold air rush over my body as a door opens behind me. I no longer care about whose voice that was. All I care about is the fact that I’m naked and that there are people staring at me right now.
I howl, but the only sound coming from my mouth is a tiny squeak. I feel weak, vulnerable, and left alone to someone else’s mercy. I wish I had the strength in me to move, to whack the person who just came in. Wish I wasn’t awake enough to reali
ze this is all happening.
I try to swallow, but nothing happens. I can’t see anything. All I hear is footsteps coming closer and my own heart beating out of control. If my body could tremble, it would be shaking violently right now. I feel trapped in a body that no longer belongs to me. I plead in my head to make it stop, but who can listen to me? Me, and I’m not going anywhere like this.
Something touches my back. I lose it.
My mouth opens again, no sound coming out except for a soft moan while I’m practically screaming. I can feel everything, and yet I can’t move. Why? What is the point? Is this just to scare me, or do they actually intend to harm me? It has to be Newman. He brought me somewhere where his men could use me. Finish the job.
I flinch as two fingers slide up my back and then down again, tickling my still numb nerves. Everything is going haywire; my senses are on high alert, but my muscles are incapable of acting on it. More fingers are added and soon an entire hand is placed on my ass cheek. Rubbing up and down, he feels me up, while I am unable to stop him. I know it is one of them, but who? If only I could see him, I would send him a death threat with my eyes.
If I ever get out of here, they’ll pay for this with their lives.
My lips quiver, which is a clear sign that control is coming back. I gasp as a finger slides down my legs and skims my pussy. Heat rises to my cheeks, but not from arousal. No, this is pure embarrassment. Cold-hearted humiliation. He pokes and prods at me, slipping and sliding his finger up and down my pussy like it is his to play with. I am disgusted to the point of wanting to throw up, and I would have if it weren’t for the fact that I still can’t feel anything besides the upper layer of my skin.
His hand moves toward my sides and slides up my body until it almost reaches my arm. There, he grabs ahold of my breast and squeezes it. Even for a ruthless man, his touch is soft as he brushes his fingers along my nipple and pinches it softly, twisting until I let out another groan.
Seize Page 10