Seize

by Clarissa Wild

  His footsteps come closer. I hear muffling sounds. I try to turn my head, but it’s locked in place by ropes. Thick ropes. Ones that I have never seen at a mental hospital.

  Suddenly, a black, velvety material is placed over my eyes.

  My breathing becomes irregular as I try to come to terms with what’s about to happen. I have to sit through it, force myself to live through it. I have to. So that when they’re done, and this is all over, and I’m out of this place, running for my life, I know that one day I’ll come back and hunt after them.

  He splays his hand on my back. I twitch from the pressure and attempt to rid myself of his touch. He pushes me down into the bench, and then I feel his hot breath near my neck. My face scrunches as much as it can muster when he presses his lips to my skin. This kiss surprises me. It’s delicate, opposite of what I expected. As if to seduce me instead of taking me against my will.

  I suck in a much-needed breath as he inches closer to my ear, dragging his lips along the way. It’s then that I hear a whisper.

  “Trust me …” He briefly sucks on my earlobe. “Do you dare?”

  For a second, my heart stops beating.

  It’s him. It was him this entire time.

  He’s here, touching me, and I feel so relieved, even though I definitely shouldn’t be. I’m being used and there are men watching us. I should be scared, but I’m not. In his presence, I suddenly feel safe.

  I’m not sure if I should allow myself to feel safe. I stupidly ran away from Sebastian and ended up right in their claws. It’s my fault for making the wrong decision, but the consequences are too grave to handle. Sebastian always wanted me to be safe. I should have listened.

  However, he works with them and now he’s helped them do this to me. How could I trust a man who does those things? Am I truly safe with him?

  And yet, when he slides his fingers over my mouth, I open for him anyway. I let him search my mouth, probe my tongue, fill me with his fingers.

  “When I say ‘suck,' you suck. Moan if you understand,” he whispers.

  I do as he says, moaning as loud as I can muster up. He chuckles, his teeth pushing against my skin. He nibbles my earlobe one last time. “Good girl.” And then he’s gone.

  Panic fills me, rising in my chest, making it hard to breathe. I don’t know what he’s going to do and if I’ll make the right choice, but I’ll take a chance. I hear a zipper coming down close to me and then I feel something that is hard and soft at the same time poke against my lips. His hand is on my chin, pulling it down so I open my mouth. The hardness enters me, sliding in with care. My body tenses at the feel of his length slipping over my tongue. The hot, rock-hard cock is familiar to me, and the way he deepens his thrust settles it. His hand skims across my cheek, cupping it while he fucks my mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut, pretending we’re alone as he touches the roof of my mouth and makes me gag. My saliva coats his cock and makes him thrust harder, deeper with every push.

  And then he pulls out again, just like that.

  I gasp for air, when suddenly his finger is inside my mouth again. I almost choke on it, but then I notice something has been placed on my tongue.

  His mouth is close to my ear again. “Suck.”

  I suck on the thing, which feels like a tablet, as well as his finger, which probes my mouth like he’s seeing if I’m actually doing what he wants. I didn’t even have a choice. He made the choice for me, and by God, I hope it’s the right one.

  When the tablet is completely dissolved, a nasty taste spreads in my mouth.

  “This will not be easy,” he whispers, and then his hot breath is gone again.

  Something in the back of my throat burns, but before I can even make a mental note of it, his cock is already shoved against my lips. He forces my mouth open and thrusts in, hard. He fucks my mouth relentlessly, no-holds-barred, as if he’s suddenly out to make me suffer. I get why he said it wasn’t going to be easy. It never was, but I didn’t expect him to go all out on me like this. Hitting the back of my throat with his cock has me gagging, and soon the reflex comes up and I make a sound. He keeps going, fucking my mouth until I almost choke on him. It’s like he wants to punish me or something.

  Suddenly, he slows down. I feel his fingers grip my hair tight and then relax, petting me in some weird, wicked way. Something’s not right. He’s going easy on me, which is not at all like him, especially not after the way he just ravaged me.

  And then I feel it, deep in the back of my throat. A sour prickle moving up my throat and onto my tongue. My body heats up, sweat rolling down my forehead. I feel sick.

  He’s already stepped aside when I vomit on the floor under me. It’s not from his cock, since he had already taken it out a while ago, but I have no clue what else could cause this sudden urge to vomit. And oh shit, here it comes again.

  This is not okay. I’m shaking heavily, my energy waning as my body empties itself.

  “This isn’t right,” he says. Finally, I hear his voice. The all-familiar trusted voice of Sebastian Brand, the man who said he would protect me and keep me safe. He lied.

  I puke again.

  Accompanying song: “Nice to Meet Me” by Zack Hemsey (Instrumental)

  It just keeps coming and coming. I can’t swallow, breathe, or even close my mouth without puke coming out.

  “I’m taking her to the doctor,” he says, and I hear him zip up.

  “No.” I hear his voice through the sitcom. It’s Newman.

  I’m torn between wanting to scream and curse at him or puke again. I decide it’s going to be the latter.

  “I am taking her to a fucking doctor. We’re stopping right now.”

  “Why not just let her die?” The way he says it, full of himself and loaded with amusement, makes the bile rise again.

  “Fuck. You,” Sebastian says.

  And then I notice that he starts fiddling with my restraints. I’m too tired, too numb to do anything but wait until he has me completely out of the shackles and in his arms. I’m being carried through the door, and the sudden cold makes me shiver.

  “Where are you going? We’re not done yet.”

  “I am,” Sebastian says.

  I moan. He shushes me, carrying me off to God knows where. I’m just glad I’m out of there, away from them.

  “You will have to finish this, Sebastian. Regardless of her condition,” Newman yells after him. I hear some snapping fingers. “Follow him.”

  He carries me through a hallway that feels endless, although that might just be my drowsiness. Sebastian pushes through something hard; a door, I think. Next thing I know, I’m on the sofa. A pillow is placed under my head, a blanket folded over my body, and then the fabric that was in front of my eyes is taken off.

  In front of me is a man who I once regarded as my savior. His blond hair falls over his eyes, masking his shame, which I can still clearly feel emanating from his body warmth. I’ve never been more happy to see him. I’ve never been more angry to be touched by him. Goddammit.

  He frowns, biting his lip, and hands me a glass of water and another pill. “Swallow that whole.”

  I moan, “What …?” pointing at the pill, wondering what it is. I’m still very listless, but at least my vocal cords have started working again. Not fully functional, but able to get the point across.

  Suddenly, someone bangs on the door. “Open up.”

  Sebastian’s head perks up, his brows heavily furrowed, and he stampedes toward the door. He jerks it open. “Stay away.”

  “Sorry, but I can’t do that. I’ve been instructed to keep an eye on her.”

  “Well, you can do so from the outside. Goodbye.”

  The man places his hand on the door. “I don’t think you understand …”

  “Oh, yes I do, but have you forgotten who you’re speaking to?” Sebastian’s raised voice brings me goosebumps.

  The man’s face grows pale. “I’m sorry, but they–”

  “You can keep watch outside the door, but you
’re not setting one foot into this room without my permission. Got that?”

  “But–”

  “She’s not going anywhere, trust me. Where’s she going to go? Through the wall? There are no windows,” Sebastian scoffs. “Now, leave us alone.”

  He slams the door, the sound making me jolt up. I just swallowed the pill, but I’m already feeling much better. I haven’t puked since I left that room they had me tied up in. Was this all part of his plan?

  “What did you do to me?” I ask, my voice fluctuating heavily.

  “It doesn’t matter; you’re out of there now.”

  “What were those pills, Sebastian?”

  He sits down beside me and grabs my hand, while checking my temperature with the other. “You’re heating up.”

  “Tell me about the pill, Sebastian.”

  The fact that I’m calling him Sebastian comes to no surprise to me, but it seems his brow pulls up the moment that I mention his name. I guess he’s unfamiliar with me being so straightforward. Too bad for him. He wants respect? He lost mine. I also lost the will to care.

  “The pill I gave you in the room made you puke.” I make a face, but he continues anyway. “This pill you took just now negates that effect.”

  “You made me vomit on purpose?” I say, pulling my hand away from his.

  “I did it because I had to.” He forcefully grabs my hand, pulls it toward him, and squeezes. “It was the only way to get you out safely, without suspicions.”

  “Let go of my hand, Sebastian.”

  “Why?”

  I cringe. “You’re disgusting.”

  I can’t even put to words how horrified I am by all that he’s done. By what he and those men put me through. I feel broken. Shattered in two. And the man who stands before me is a monster in my eyes.

  “I know. I’m a dick. I put my cock in your mouth for that reason as well.”

  “To make me puke? Because it worked all right,” I sneer.

  I’m being a bitch, but for good reasons. He was here and he used me. In front of them. There’s no way that I can forgive him for this. No way.

  “I know you didn’t puke because of my dick. You like it too much for that to happen.” With a smug smile on his face, he shrugs.

  “I liked it. Past tense. I did not like what you put me through in there. They saw everything …”

  “I know. It was wrong, and I don’t expect you to forgive me right now. But know that I did it so I could mask the fact that I was giving you a pill and make them believe it was due to my throat fucking that you vomited.” He sighs. “It was all part of the plan.”

  “I should’ve never trusted you. Trusting you has been the biggest mistake in my life.”

  He lowers his head and frowns. “I know how you feel about me.”

  “It keeps getting worse. These lies, the things you do to me, it all keeps getting worse,” I shout. “You are the reason that I am in here!”

  He looks up again. “I know, and for that I am sorry. I’m sorry for participating in their games, for letting myself be part of that, for not protecting you from them, and even making you a part of it. I’m working to make it right. I should’ve done this a long time ago. I should’ve pulled you out of their grasp sooner, back when I first saw you at that charity event.”

  I gaze up at him. “You keep mentioning that moment.”

  “It replays in my mind every single fucking day. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t save that one girl … not even one.” He shakes his head and makes a fist. “No matter what I do, I cannot change the past.”

  “You can’t,” I say. “But you can change the future.”

  I swallow, gathering some courage. My only way out of here is Sebastian, and I’m not going to let that slip, no matter how much I hate him right now.

  “Stop working with them,” I say. “Don’t give them anything. They’ve taken enough.”

  He bites his lips but doesn’t respond. There’s a pause. “I am not sorry for rescuing you. Even if I did it in the most embarrassing, foul way, it was the only chance I had and I reached for it.”

  I turn my head away. I don’t want to listen to him making excuses for himself as to why he could do that to me. How he could use me like that, in front of them … Tears form in my eyes just from the reminder of the ordeal. I blink them away.

  “Oh, my precious little fairy.” He leans in and grabs my cheeks with both hands. “Your eyes are glassy, but please don’t cry. Everything will be okay, I promise.” He caresses my cheek.

  As if everything could be okay again after what he and the men did to me.

  “But we have to go now. We’ll talk about this later and I’ll explain everything.”

  “You’d better …” I add. “You don’t know what I’ve been through.”

  “I have an inkling.”

  Someone knocks on the door. “Mister Brand? The doctor is here.”

  “Who is that?” I ask him as he stands up.

  “Someone I called to come in.”

  “Why? What’s he going to do?” I sit up straight while Sebastian grabs some clothes from a cabinet standing opposite of the couch.

  He throws them to me. “Put these on.”

  I do as he says and make myself appear presentable, despite the fact that I feel like I just threw up a bucket load. Sebastian must have a plan. Otherwise, he wouldn’t risk getting me out the way he did. He takes his risks big and dangerous, just like his personality.

  Sebastian opens the door and lets the man with a long white coat inside. The guard by the door smiles at us, but Sebastian quickly slams the door shut, almost right in his face.

  “How is she doing?” the man asks as he walks to me.

  I pull back into my shell, wrapping my arms around me, pushing my back into the sofa. I feel vulnerable, and I’m not about to let some random doctor feel me up.

  He doesn’t even get the chance to come close to me. The first thing Sebastian does as he stalks up behind him and turns him around is punch him in the face.

  The man is knocked out and falls to the cold, hard floor.

  In shock, I gape at him as Sebastian goes to his knees and drags the doctor through the room, placing him on the floor beside me. The man is bleeding from his nose quite heavily, but Sebastian quickly catches the drops with his finger. Then he fishes out his handkerchief and stuffs it in the man’s nose. I don’t even know why.

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “Getting us out of here,” he says as he gets up and walks to the cabinet in the room. Rummaging through the drawers, he fishes out a syringe and takes off the cap then he sticks it in the man’s arm.

  “What are you giving him?”

  “The same thing they gave you.”

  Chills run up my spine. That means he won’t be able to feel or move his muscles either, but he’ll hear and see everything that happens around him. It’s a cruel drug.

  I think Sebastian notices the guilt and shame on my face as he does this because he says, “There’s no other way. He needs to be out for a while. It won’t harm him.”

  “But he’ll remember everything that you did to him later and tell everyone.”

  Sebastian peels off the man’s coat and glasses, and then his pants and shoes until there’s nothing left. It’s as if he didn’t even hear me. Or he just doesn’t care.

  “They’ll know. Everyone will know what you did, Sebastian. You can’t go back now. Unless you intend to kill him to shut him up, which I will not be part of.” I hold up my hands.

  He looks up at me with raised eyebrows, not the least bit concerned by what I just said. “Relax, I’m not killing anyone.”

  He stands up and slides on the man’s pants and shoes. Then he tucks his hair into a tight ponytail. I realize what he’s going to do. No wonder he didn’t want the blood to spill onto the clothes; it would look odd to see a doctor stained in blood walking down the halls like it’s nobody’s business. The outfit makes him look freaky, though, like he’
s playing a doctor in a show or something. However, his blond hair fits perfectly.

  I clear my throat. “Okay … But you realize this is it, right? You just made a decision that can’t be changed.”

  “I know.”

  I gasp when I realize that he doesn’t seem to care. “The men will find out. Newman will come after you. You said they’d kill you for it.”

  He puts on the doctor’s coat, and suddenly he is not himself anymore. It’s like he completely vanished and turned into someone else entirely. Except he still has his quirks, the ones that he’ll never brush off. Like straightening the coat and patting out the wrinkles in his pants.

  “Let them try.”

  His words bring power. Goosebumps cover my arms. I know this is it. This is the moment where everything changes. The point of no return. Sebastian has chosen me, my safety, and his love for me. Over his own safety. Even over his own life.

  I get up from the sofa and let the blanket drop off my body. I no longer need this cover; this sheet will not protect me. If I want a life, I will have to go find it myself. If I want to be safe, I will have to be my own protection. Taking control of my own destiny is what I should have been doing all along.

  The sourness in my throat is gone. My senses are back and my body is invigorated. I will deal with my mental instability and emotional breakdown later. Now is the time to plan an escape.

  Sebastian takes a step toward me and gazes at me with certainty. Deadlocked. He knows what I feel, what surges through my body, right in this very moment.

  Determination and desire. Two words that can bring destruction if acted upon.

  I intend to extinguish their breaths.

  Maybe even his, too, if I get the chance.

  Sebastian rummages in his shirt’s pocket, underneath the coat, and fishes out a knife. The same knife he used to taunt me each and every time.

  He holds it out to me.

  “Take it.”

  It’s like he’s offering me the choice to do it—right here, right now.

  Strange emotions flood me as I reach for the blade. I’m appalled at the sight, but somehow I feel honored that he wants to give it to me. This thing he feels is precious and important—his tool for destruction. Now he wants to give me the opportunity to destroy.