Seize

by Clarissa Wild

  He asked for it. He wanted me to do this.

  Tears well up in my eyes, but I push on. The belt creates cracks in his skin, covering his body with welts. Drops of blood seep through his skin, painting a dreaded picture as the belt sweeps it across his back. I howl louder with each blow, unable to restrain myself. I’m losing it. Losing myself in this. Losing him.

  This is not what I want.

  It is what I needed, but not what I want …

  My heart breaks with every blow I deal, my fear dripping out through the slits. Everything is coming apart. My hands are shaking, and my whipping becomes slower and slower, less intense with every strike. Seeing the destruction that I cause is painful and to think that it’s because of what I feel makes me sick. I caused this. My feelings for what the men did to Ashley and I caused me to hurt Sebastian. Physically. Emotionally. And he asked me to do it.

  He asked me to cause him the same pain that he caused me.

  He wants to feel what I felt. I shut him out, so the only way for us to reconnect is through pain. I realize now that he’s doing this because he actually cares about me. Because he’ll accept anything from me, even this pain. He gives me his body to use and abuse. Willingly.

  The belt shakes in my hand. I can’t do this.

  He loves me so much he would give up anything for me.

  Now, for the first time, do I understand why he wanted me to run instead of come to him.

  It was his first selfless act, the first of many to come.

  How could I not see that? How could I be so selfish now? How could I take from him what I accused him of claiming?

  He sits here in front of me, offering me his body. Offering up his very heart in exchange for my love. That’s all he wants. My love. In exchange for everything. His wealth. His freedom. His heart. Even his life.

  I sink to my knees, the belt dropping to the floor.

  My arms wrap around his body.

  He gave me his body to abuse, believing it would heal me. Instead, it gave me a look into his soul. He trusts me unconditionally, proving to me that he is not only telling the truth, but feeling it as well. He needs me and I need him. We are irrevocably each other’s. We belong together. No matter how fucked up our love story is.

  It’s hard to realize this, but it brings my heart and mind peace.

  His breathing has stopped as I hug him tight. My head rests on his back while he doesn’t move a muscle.

  “I can’t …” I mutter, blinking away the tears. “I can’t do it.”

  “It’s okay,” he says, grabbing my hand. “You can continue whenever you want. Whenever you desire. Whenever you feel the need to hurt someone, hurt me instead. Take out your pain on me. I can take it, and I will, because I love you, and I won’t hold it against you. My body is yours as much as my heart.”

  He takes my breath away.

  “I … I don’t hate you. I just want to, but I can’t.”

  I am his and he is mine.

  “Why … why does it have to be like this? Like …” I sigh.

  “Lovers in pain?”

  “Anguish,” I say.

  “Life is hard. It’s even harder when you don’t have anyone to share it with.” He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses it. “But I have you now. I can deal with anything.”

  I can’t help but lift my head and gaze at him. I’m awestruck at the words coming from his mouth. That he feels so deeply for me … I should have known.

  I start kissing his back, planting my mouth on every painful scratch and welt that covers his skin. He hisses as I touch the sore spots, but moans as I continue. His blood is on my lips and I drag out my tongue to taste him like he has tasted me. He’s sweet and bitter at the same time, an intoxicating mix of man. My man.

  “What are you doing?” he asks.

  “Experiencing what you experience.”

  He chuckles, but then groans from the pain it gives him. “Clever girl.”

  “I learned from the best.” I smirk as I kiss his skin, licking up his blood, like it’s becoming an addiction. Tasting, touching, and licking him is like drinking alcohol; it’s never enough and kills all my brain cells.

  “I understand why you like my blood,” I say.

  “Do you now?” he muses.

  “It’s for the same reason I love to be ravished by you. It gives you a certain … high.”

  A muffled laugh comes from his mouth. “You know me too well, little fairy.”

  He groans as he moves his body. There is a certain spark missing from the way he talks. His flair. He’s lost it.

  Is it because of what I did? Me, hitting him with the same belt he used to hit me?

  Or is it because he cannot be what he is; a man who lives for control?

  He’s given it all to me, exchanging powers, thus depriving himself of that which makes him thrive. My heart aches for that man, the man who could subdue me and turn me into a woman eager to please him. A woman begging for submission.

  He made me take it away, for just a little while, and at this moment, I realize it is exactly what he wanted me to experience. To know that what I’m missing is what we both truly need.

  We’re two sides of the same coin. Why try to fight it when you can win by giving in?

  I reach for the belt, and I feel his body tense from the noise. I crawl to his front with the belt in my hands. His eyes are shadowed by his lowered lids, his face completely void of the intensity I’m used to, the flame that I’ve grown to love.

  Even if I can’t speak the words … I know it’s true.

  He needs a girl who he can claim. Someone who will resist him, fueling his desire to take without permission. And I will give him that because I choose to.

  Kneeling in front of him, I hold out the belt, lifting it above my head as I duck to the floor. “Please … control me, Mister Brand.”

  Accompanying song: “She and Him” by Omniflux

  When nothing happens, my eyes dart up to meet his. He blinks a couple of times, his back straightening as he furrows his brows. He tilts his head.

  “What is it that you want?” he asks.

  “I want what you want …” I say. “Use me.”

  He grabs the belt, but doesn’t take it from my hands.

  “Is that what you truly need?” he asks.

  “Yes, Mister Brand.”

  A hint of a smile builds on his face. “And what if I don’t?”

  “I’ll run,” I say. “I’ll flee from this room, away from you, away from this life as a prisoner to your body.”

  He smirks, muffling a laugh. “And you think you can just do that?”

  “You promised me freedom. Pure freedom. Even from you.”

  “You’re wrong.” His voice is rougher, lower, almost like what I’m used to.

  “You said it yourself; I could run if I wanted. You love me. You love me so much that you can’t hurt me, and hurting me means not giving me what I want.”

  His eyes narrow. “Just because I said that I love you doesn’t mean that you can leave. I won’t ever let you leave me.”

  I stare at him, a devious smile on my face, as I prepare my reflexes.

  And then I make a dash.

  Before I have a chance to even get past him, he has me by the ankles. I fall down to the floor, bruising my knee as he drags me across the carpet back to him. “Oh, no, you don’t.”

  “You can’t stop me.”

  “I’ll stop you if it’s the last thing I do.”

  He pulls me back toward him, ensnaring my wrists with his strong hands, forcing them behind my back.

  “You want to be tied up?” he growls. “Fine, I’ll take away the tiny shred of freedom you had.”

  The lion is back and ready for the prowl.

  I try to hide my enthusiasm as he ties my hands behind my back using the belt, looping it around until I can’t move anymore. Then he spins me around, almost making me tumble, but I keep my balance.

  “I gave you the opportunity to release yourself
of your anger, your fear. What do we say?”

  “Thank you, Mister Brand.”

  “Good. Now remember what I did. I still love you, but you’re bad for wanting to run. Each and every time you do, I will punish you. Don’t you know there’s no escaping me?”

  He grips my hair so tight I squirm. “Yes, Mister Brand.”

  “What am I to you?” he asks.

  “You are Sebastian. You’re mine.”

  “And you are mine. I own you. Your heart, your body, your soul, and your mind. Remember it.”

  He smacks my inner thigh, causing me to close my legs, but then he smacks them again and pushes them apart.

  “Don’t close your legs from me. Ever.”

  “Yes, Mister Brand.”

  “Now … you created some painful lacerations on my back. Quite the vicious little fairy, aren’t we?”

  “I’m sorry …”

  “Don’t be. I’ll make you repay this debt.”

  Somehow, that statement riles me up even more. I must be sick, but if I am, I don’t care anymore. I need this. I love how rough he handles me when he pulls my hair back and makes me look straight up into his eyes. His fire is back, and damn, do I enjoy the burn.

  With one hand, he lowers his zipper and takes out his cock, which is already rock-hard, probably from capturing me. As he said, hunting riles him up. The sight of his hardness makes my mouth water. I’m so into his domination. I’ve already lost my sanity long ago, somewhere along this disturbing path that I stumbled onto.

  I don’t regret anything right now.

  “Pain makes me weak, Lillith. I hate being weak.”

  “I know …”

  He slaps my tit, making me squeal. “You know my name.”

  “Yes, Mister Brand.”

  “I gave you my pain, because that is what you needed. And what you need is what I need, because I am not happy when you aren’t happy. So … tell me, are you happy?” He cocks his head. “Show me.”

  I smile for him as best as I can, because he’s pinching my nipple.

  “Good.” His hand that was gripping my hair now forces me down to his lap. “Now it’s time for you to make me happy.”

  He pushes me down to where my mouth meets his cock, which bobbles up and down the moment it comes into contact with my lips. I writhe when he tugs on my nipple and twists it.

  “Go on. Suck my cock.”

  I open my mouth just as he pushes my head down, thrusting his cock inside. I gag a little from the initial feeling of his shaft deep in my throat, which makes him moan out loud.

  “Fuck, yes,” he groans, making my pussy flutter. “Lick it.”

  My tongue circles around his shaft, coating it with the wetness as he pushes my head up and down. He uses my hair as a handle, gripping it tight before shoving me back over his cock. My face is buried deep in his lap, smelling the tangy scent of sweat mixed with dry-cleaned pants.

  “God, I needed this,” he says, lifting my head again. “After all those beatings, coming is the only way to relieve myself of the pain. So make me come, little fairy. If you suck hard, I might actually come twice.” He pushes my head down again, making me gag on his thickness, which pulsates in my throat.

  “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he murmurs. “Having my hot, salty cum dripping down your throat. You want me to fill your pretty little mouth?”

  He pulls my head away again, making me look him in the eye. “Answer me.”

  I nod.

  He slaps my tit. “With words.”

  “Yes, Mister Brand.”

  “Say it. Say you want me to come all over that tongue of yours.”

  “Please … come in my mouth,” I say, licking my lips. “I want to taste your cum.”

  “If you’re good, I might give it to you, but you hurt me bad, fairy. What are you going to do about that?”

  “Anything to make you happy again.”

  He smiles, caressing my cheek. “Such a good girl. You help me and I’ll help you.” He leans forward to kiss me, but then groans from the pain. “Goddammit. It hurts.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. I asked you to. And now I’m asking you to suck. No, scratch that, I’m not asking. Just suck and make me come so I’ll feel better,” he says, pushing my head down again.

  He sits back with his hands flat on the floor, leaning backward while I lavishly lick his crown. The way it bobs up and down in my mouth makes my pussy thump with need. I’m done denying the attraction, the obvious need for each other’s satisfaction. I’m done trying to fight it all.

  So I suck and lick, kissing the base, slipping and sliding my tongue all over him until he growls. He pushes himself back up, flattening his hand on my head while forcing me down again. I feel like he gets a kick out of pushing me to my limit, knowing he’s causing me to gag by thrusting my head over his cock. Knowing he’s in charge.

  “That’s it, little fairy. Take it deep,” he growls.

  His cock touches the roof of my mouth as I let my tongue slide up and down. I feel like it’s growing in size, or I’m just having trouble breathing because he’s shoving me down so hard and fast. With my hands tied behind my back, I feel like there’s nothing I can do and I’m left to his mercy. Just what I crave.

  “Oh, yes … can you feel it? I’m going to come so hard,” he says.

  A loud roar escapes his mouth, and his cock begins to pulsate inside my mouth. He pushes me down so far that I can’t breathe, and then a hot jet squirts into the back of my throat.

  “Take it, take it!” he growls, tightening his grip on my hair. “Swallow it all.”

  His cum is salty and slides down my throat, causing me to squirm while he holds me down. Arousal has my clit thumping as I swallow a stream of cum, half of it dripping down his cock. After the third wave, he pulls me up by my hair and gazes at me.

  “You didn’t swallow it all.”

  He slaps my tit. “C’mon. Lick it off.”

  He points at his crotch then lowers my head again. I stick out my tongue and lap up all that’s left, making sure that he’s clean before I come up again.

  “Good girl. What do we say?”

  “Thank you for your cum, Mister Brand.”

  He smiles, swiping his thumb over my lips. “That sure did the trick. I feel better already. But you know what would make me feel even better?”

  I shake my head as if I don’t know, but I’m expecting some other sexual activity that I’ll find hard to resist.

  “Seeing you writhe, unable to come.” He smirks but my happy face has disappeared.

  Oh God, he’s going to torture me with sex instead of pain.

  “Please, no …” I mutter as he slowly gets up from the floor.

  “You are mine, Lillith. Remember that. Obey me and good things will come. Disobey me, and I will punish you.” He stands up. “Now stay there.”

  He walks to the closet and fetches the ties that hold the robes together. He comes back to me and grabs me by the waist.

  “On your belly.”

  I do as he says, and he immediately grabs my ankles and ties them to my thighs. Some sort of frog position this is and totally immobilizing. He goes to fetch the curtain tiebacks and loops them around my thighs, connecting it with the belt right around my elbows, forcing my legs to open up and lift.

  “All your pretty holes exposed for me to use,” he murmurs, rolling me around on the floor like a toy. He positions me so that I’m facing a mirror, and then settles behind me.

  I gasp for air when his index finger slides down my pussy. Just once.

  “So sensitive …” he says, biting his lip. “I wonder if this pussy of mine wants more.”

  “Yes, please.”

  He smacks my ass, making me squirm, but there’s nowhere for me to go.

  “Beg.”

  “Please, touch me, Mister Brand.”

  He grins, and then I feel his finger slide up and down my folds again, ceasing all thoughts in my head. I’m a sinner f
or wanting his touch, but I don’t care anymore.

  “So wet …” he says. “Purr for me.”

  I moan as he pushes a thumb inside, swirling it around. He plays with my pussy, sliding and slipping his fingers down and up, coating everything in my wetness. He toys with my clit, rolling it between his fingers and gently tugging before circling around it. I’m in complete delirium, desiring only him right now. My senses are on high alert as my muscles are constricted, and it adds to the intensity of his play.

  He thrusts his finger inside, first one, then two. A hard smack to the ass has me groaning as he keeps fucking me with his fingers. He’s merciless, and I love every second of it. I’m getting close, so close to bursting that I moan out loud and cry when he hits me again.

  “No coming.”

  “Please …”

  He slaps my other ass cheek. “Not. Allowed.”

  He pulls his fingers from my pussy again, the emptiness it leaves overwhelming as I struggle to breathe. God, he has me. He truly has me.

  “This is my pussy and I will say when it can come.”

  “Yes, Mister Brand,” I say, licking my lips.

  He brings his fingers to his mouth, dipping out his tongue to lick them. “Hmmm … delicious.”

  He lowers his fingers to stroke my clit again, causing me to pant.

  “Do you know what gets harder every time I do this?”

  “What?” I ask.

  “My cock.”

  I swallow away the lump in my throat as he scoops up my wetness and smears it over his cock. I can’t see it in the mirror, but I can see his hand moving and his eyes are incessantly watching me from under his eyelashes, which is enough for me to know what’s going on.

  He licks his lips and moves closer to my ass. Swiping his cock against my entrance, he makes me moan from need.

  “Please …” I beg.

  “What?” He pushes the tip in.

  “Oh, fuck me, please …”

  He muffles a laugh. “Oh, I will. I’ll fuck you so hard that I’ll have you screaming.”

  He plunges in without warning, causing me to gasp for air as he claims my pussy with just one thrust. His fingers dig into my skin as he grasps my thighs and rocks against my body, fucking me as hard as he promised. He growls out loud, slapping my ass while thrusting, riding me like he truly owns me. It’s like he puts all his rage into this. The rage that I caused by whipping him. The rage he asked for.