“What are you doing?” I yelled, kicking him again— this time on purpose.
He ignored my attempt at violence and kept a straight face.
“Steph,” his voice cracked. “Do you consider an omission just as bad as a flat out lie?”
I sat up and faced him. “Why?” He dropped his head and took a deep breath. “Nate?”
“It's nothing,” he said unconvincingly. “Try to get some sleep.”
Monday April 16
I walked through the doors of Webster Grove High School for the first time in over a week. Though I wanted to suppress it, the truth was inevitable; the time had come to snap back to reality. In my life, that simply means I’m back to lying, hiding, and dreaming.
Lying about who I’m really dating, hiding the fact that I’m madly in love with Alexander Rivera, and dreaming of the day when I didn't have to live with gut-wrenching guilt...
“Hey,” Bridget said, as I pulled a book from my locker. “I’m happy you’re back. Life is boring without you, Steph.”
“Sorry.”
“How are you feeling? Happy? Excited? Nervous?”
“About?”
Bridget slapped Nate in the arm as he walked up. “You didn't tell her?”
“Tell me what?” I asked.
“Oh, crap,” Nate rubbed his head. “The prom court nominees are supposed to be announced today—“
“Okay, so?”
“The school voted last week,” Bridget took over. “Rumor has it you and Nate are in the running.”
“I don't want—“
“These are the nominations,” Nate assured me. “Nothing official. If we're nominated, we'll just push Bridget and Isaac's campaign.”
I turned to Bridget. “You want to subject yourself to that kind of humiliation?”
“Heck yeah! Why not?”
“I wish you the best,” I said, shutting my locker.
We walked toward Mr. Rivera's class and crossed the threshold with five minutes to spare before the warning bell.
Our gorgeous dark-skinned teacher looked up. I tried to avoid eye contact and took my seat in front of Bridget and next to Nate. Isaac scurried in and stopped short.
“Steph,” he whispered, still planted several feet away. “Can we talk for a sec—“
“Keep moving, Isaac,” Nate interrupted.
“Ooo,” Bridget sounded behind me. “Are you guys planning me a surprise birthday party?”
“Steph,” Isaac ignored her. “Please.”
“Fine.” I pushed myself away from the desk and followed him into the hallway. “What?”
He pulled me into a hug. I kept my arms plastered to my side as he squeezed tighter.
“I never wanted it to be like this—“
“You lied—“
“I'm sorry, Steph. I wanted to be honest with you—“
“But you weren't.”
“I understand. You're upset—“
“Angry.”
“About what exactly?”
“She’s gone,” I yelled as a group of students started to gather around to eavesdrop. “She left because of you.”
“I’m sorry—“
I managed to pull away from his grip. “You need to tell Bridget the truth, and, from the sound of things, probably throw her a party.”
“Her birthday isn’t until July,” he said, rolling his eyes.
The second and final bell rang and the class quieted down on cue. Isaac and I scurried in and took our seats.
“Okay, ladies and gentlemen,” our teacher said as he stood in front of the chalk board. “Today is a busy—“
“Good morning Webster Grove High!” A high-pitched, peppy voice rang out of the overhead intercom, interrupting Mr. Rivera. “This is Rachel Canter, your student body president, coming at you with the announcement you've been waiting for all year.”
“Here goes,” Bridget said, clapping her hands.
“The nominee results are in. Without further ado, nominations for senior class prom king are, in no particular order: Isaac Peyton—“
Bridget shrieked and blew her boyfriend a kiss.
Rachel continued, “Maxwell Hughes, and Nathaniel Bryan.” Nate sunk a little lower in his chair and ran his fingers through his hair. “Nominations for senior class prom queen are, in no particular order, Bridget Wright—“
Bridget shook the desk behind me with excitement. I turned and smiled at her, trying hard to laugh with her and not at her.
“Oh my goodness. Well, this is flattering.” Rachel giggled over the intercom. “Me, I'm the second nominee.” She took a moment to regain composure. Although I couldn't see her, I imagined she was wiping a tear and fanning herself dramatically. “Bridget Wright,” she said again. “Rachel Canter and Steph Ghijk.”
The announcement droned on, but I barely listened to another word before Rachel finally wrapped it up.
I rolled my eyes and looked across the room. Alex bit his lower lip and ignored the stare. Nate stood up from his desk and wrapped his arms around me.
“I know you don't want this,” he whispered. “But you deserve it. I'm happy for you, Steph.”
“Mr. Bryan, sit down—“
“Don't get your panties in a bunch, Mr. R. I was just congratulating my woman—“
“Stop!” Alex snapped. The few whispers in the class died down as Nate regained his seat. “Let's get started” he continued, sending one final glare at Nate before turning his back to move to the chalkboard.
Bridget leaned forward. “Is it just me, or has Nate been pushing Mr. Rivera’s buttons lately?”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “It's not you. I promise.”
Chapter Three
Sunday April 29 5:30PM
“That's a wrap,” I yelled to the cast as they filed out for the evening.
It was closing day for The Music Man and my latest round of costume designs had stolen the show yet again.
Today was a blur. Bridget had come into the dressing room at the beginning of rehearsal refusing to go on stage, simply because she didn't feel like performing. After bribing her with a promise to go shopping for prom dresses next week, I finally talked her into her first costume. She wasn't the only one acting out of sorts. Nate was fidgety and muttering all night, never truly focused on the task at hand.
I pushed their odd behavior aside as I moved around the room, straightening up the mess my fellow classmates had left behind. I sealed countless make-up lids, picked up stray clothing, and gathered a few forgotten personal belongings. After twenty minutes of cleaning up, I took a break and sat in front of the long, illuminated cosmetic mirror. I smiled at the reflection. I finally looked like myself again.
After a few moments of rest, I got back on my feet and started picking up the few remaining stray items. I noticed Nate's jacket sitting on the table across the room. I pulled the phone off the counter next to me and hit the second button on speed dial; the first was reserved for Alex.
“Yeah?” Nate said on the other end.
“Hey,” I started. “You left your jacket in the dressing room—“
“Oh God,” he said quickly. “Steph, I need you to bring that over. Tonight.”
“Okay, I'm practically done here. I'll be over as soon as possible.”
“Thanks.” He hung up without another word.
I ended the call and walked across the room to pick up the jacket. As I lifted it from the table, two envelopes fell to the floor. I picked them up. One was sealed and blank. It was the very same one Nate had tried giving me in the hospital. The other was taped shut and had my name written on the front, but in unfamiliar handwriting.
“Hey,” a voice whispered behind me. Alex wrapped his arms around me and pressed a warm kiss to the back o
f my neck.
“Alexander Rivera! Are you out of your freaking mind?” I turned to face him.
“Everyone is gone,” he assured me. “The last of the group left fifteen minutes ago.”
“Still,” I started. “You're getting careless, mister. What if someone had forgotten something? Anyone could walk in here. Then what? Do you like your life outside of bars?”
“I do—“
“Then use your noggin,” I said, tapping him on the head. “Inside the walls of WGHS, you're Mr. Rivera and I’m one of your students. None of this... us being... whatever we are.”
“Whatever we are?”
I shrugged. He bit his lip and stared at the envelopes in my hand. “What are those?”
“Don't know.” I shoved them into the pocket of Nate's jacket.
“You ready to head out?”
“Are you sure everyone is gone? The last thing we need is to be seen leaving together.”
He nodded.
“What about Miss Holt—“
“I've told you, kiddo,” he said. “That situation is taken care of.”
I sighed. “Yeah...”
But how?
Sunday April 29 6:00PM
I rode to the end of Main Street with Alex.
We drove up to his one-story house on the corner to find Nate pacing back and forth on the front porch. Alex mumbled something as I got out of the car and moved toward my best friend.
“Here,” I said, passing the jacket in his direction. “I was gonna come over—“
“Thought I'd save you a trip”' he said, immediately checking the pockets. He looked up to watch Alex walk up the porch step behind me. “Mr. R, would you mind if I borrow Steph for a couple minutes?”
Alex leered at Nate for a few silent seconds.
“Sure. Take your time.” He unlocked the front door and disappeared into the house.
I turned to Nate. “What's up?”
“Let's sit,” he said, sitting on the edge of the top step. I followed suit.
He reached into the pocket and retrieved the two envelopes. He passed the labeled one to me. “This is from Isaac. He asked me to make sure you got it.”
I stared at the envelope in my hand. He'd probably given the note to Nate knowing I'd never take anything from him. Since our moment alone in the hallway two weeks ago, Isaac and I hadn’t spoken to one another.
“And the other?” I asked, eying the remaining envelope.
“I've been debating on sharing this with you,” he started.
“Okay.”
“This one is from me. I... I don't want to be another person in your life who isn't telling you the truth. I'm putting all my cards on the table.”
He passed it to me. I started to rip open the seal when his hand landed on mine.
“Steph,” he said quietly. “Keep an open mind.”
I nodded and pulled the letter out.
I proceeded to read the words, written in small, inked shorthand. Nate spilled his heart and soul in a few short paragraphs. In his note, he made a startling revelation (and with heart-wrenching conviction, might I add). His words were honest, meaningful, and carefully chosen.
I read it once. Twice. Three times.
After ten minutes of silence, I met his gaze.
“Well?” he asked with anticipation.
“Nate,” I started, not knowing exactly what to say. “You know that Alex and I are—“
“Yes.”
“And I'm not planning on ending things with him—“
“I don’t expect you to,” he said. “I just... felt like I owed this to you, Steph. I can't be honest with myself if I'm not being honest with you. You’re the last person I ever want to lie to.”
I smiled. “You know I love you, right?”
He nodded.
“And all this time I thought you had a crush on Miss Holt.”
“Maybe before I knew better…”
I started to read the note again.
“You're scared,” Nate observed.
“Me?” I said, taken aback. “No! Nate, not at all—“
“Then you're still willing to go to the dance with me? It won't be awkward?”
“Nathaniel Bryan,” I said, taking his hand in mine. “There’s no one else in the world I’d rather go with.”
Chapter Four
Monday April 30
I sat on my bed putting the sketch pad to good use. I tried to draw daily, but my desire for art had long subsided. I grew up hoping to conquer the fashion world by twenty-five. All I ever wanted was to meet, shadow, and become Adriana Holbrook. With the opportunity dangling in front of my face, I'd be stupid not to take it.
So where are all the doubts coming from?
Back in the real world, life was chugging along with major adjustments. I lived alone, ate two meals a day outside the house with either Nate or Alex, and hoped for the day when I'd wake up and realize mom's absence was merely a dream. Despite the supposed truth, I thrived on the possibility that mom would come crawling back, begging me to forgive her for leaving.
I missed her.
I turned and watched the door. I listened closely, waiting to hear the sound of her heels clapping across the hardwood floor downstairs, water falling into the bottom of her cast-iron tub down the hall, or mindless humming as she helped Calvin make dinner.
A light tap sounded before the door creaked open.
“Steph?” Calvin stood in the doorway.
I sat up and tried to move toward the window. He stepped forward and gently grabbed my wrist.
“Steph, please—“
“Caroline is gone.... The rent is due on the first, that's tomorrow. You know what that means? I'm homeless. So, let's do the math. You, plus Nick and Isaac, plus a really bad idea, minus any thought or concern for anyone else's feelings, equals a runaway mother and an abandoned daughter. I think you can understand why I don’t’ have much to say to you.”
“Maybe you’ve forgotten,” he started. “I terminated the lease on my apartment last month, Steph. I was supposed to move in with you guys right after the honeymoon.”
“You want to stay here?”
He nodded. “If you don't mind.”
I shrugged. “How else will the bills get paid?”
He smirked. ”Can we talk?”
“…I suppose.”
He took my hands and sat next to me on the window seat. “I don't expect you to forgive me, but I want you to understand some things. Despite her history with Nick, Caroline and I had something good going. She wasn't the mean, vindictive person Nick had painted her to be. You and your mother have been the highlight of my life, hon. I made a mistake,” he admitted.
“If mom supposedly burned down her parent's house, attempted to kill her whole family, and kidnapped me, how is she not in jail? Wouldn't the cops have found her by now?”
Cal ran his fingers through his hair.
“Your grandparents... they're good people, I'm sure. But there wasn’t room in their lives for scandal. Caroline's pregnancy was more drama than that family could handle in one lifetime. Nick says they played dumb when the police showed up. They never mentioned Caroline leaving or your disappearance. As far as everyone knew, you and Caroline were safe with Isaac and Nick next door. The investigation went on for a long time without a lead; it was an open and shut case. The insurance company wrote a check, they rebuilt, and life moved on for her parents. Nick and Isaac, however, weren't as easily satisfied. They've spent the better part of fifteen years looking for you.”
I sat quietly for a moment and tried to take it in. “If you move in, I have one request.”
“Anything.”
''Don't invite them over. I'm not ready.”
“Fine.”
“And I want you to get off of Alex's back. We're together. Quit screwing with it, and stop threatening to tattle to your grandmother. What are you, four?”
“Ouch—“
“One last thing.”
“Yes?”
“Find out how your brother ditched Miss Holt. He won't tell me anything and it all just seems a little weird for her to just stop—“
“Karen?” he asked, fighting a smirk. “He didn't tell you the news?”
I shook my head.
“Well, he promised her something on the condition that she stopped blackmailing him.”
“Which was?”
“His first born child.”
“What?” I screamed, jumping off the window seat.
“Whoa, Steph,” Cal laughed. “Calm down, hon. I thought you could use a laugh. I guess you're not in the mood for jokes.”
I turned back to him and lowered my eyebrows. “Well?”
“She's finally landed the one thing she's always wanted.”
“Which is?”
“An engagement ring from a Rivera.”
“Oh, ha-ha,” I said sarcastically. “So now you're going to tell me Alex is marrying Karen?”
“No, of course not,” he shook his head. “Blake is.”
Tuesday May 01
Calvin spent the next ten minutes telling me about the events I'd missed after passing out at the wedding. Apparently Miss Holt couldn't stand the sudden focus of attention being on me, so she made her biggest attempt at causing a family scandal and getting all eyes on her. The moment Alex looked in her direction, she pulled his younger brother into a long, passionate kiss.
Unbeknownst to both of them at the time, that one surprise-attack kiss was about to ignite a fire.
According to Cal, Blake and Karen have been attached at the hip since the ceremony. Miss Holt no longer has a vested interest in Alex, his job security, or my involvement in ruining her plans to happiness. She claims to be madly in love with Blake Rivera, and he's pretty much singing the same song. Personally, I assume Karen is settling for any Rivera she can get.
Cal stayed until sometime after nine. With four days left until he had to move, he decided to head home and start packing. I curled into bed shortly thereafter and drifted into a deep, dreamless sleep.
The Webster Grove Series Page 19