“That's the only way to do it,” Tanya giggled, and a little while later she heard some woman say, “Look, that's Tanya Thomas,” but the man who had talked to her said she just looked like her, and was a lot taller, and the woman who had spotted her agreed immediately, and nothing happened. “And younger,” Tanya added under her breath, as Mary Stuart pushed her. They were down about fifty dollars by then. And at ten o'clock they walked into the restaurant for a hamburger, and she saw several people stare at them, but Tanya pretended not to notice. The waitress was particularly intent on watching them, but she wasn't quite sure, and she didn't dare ask, and they actually got to eat a meal in peace, which was rare for Tanya. And then they went back to the slot machines till nearly midnight. In the end, they had forty dollars left and split it between them.
“Wow! We won forty dollars,” Mary Stuart said happily, as they locked the door of the bus behind them.
“No, dummy.” Tanya laughed at her. “We lost sixty. Remember? We started with a hundred.”
“Oh,” Mary Stuart said, looking momentarily crestfallen, and then they both laughed like kids as they got undressed and got ready to go to bed on the bus. The two long couches in the green sitting room in the rear turned into beds, and there was a good-size table between them.
“You know, you look just like Tanya Thomas!” Mary Stuart drawled at her as Tanya brushed her mane of blond hair in the bathroom. It was like being roommates again in college, and Tanya stuck her chin out. She'd had a small implant put in years before, and a little liposuction just beneath it, which gave her the neck of a very young woman.
“But taller and younger!” they intoned together, laughing still harder.
“And don't forget the ‘younger,’ “Tanya reminded her. “I paid a fortune for having all this shit done.”
“You're hopeless,” Mary Stuart said, laughing as she put on her nightgown. She hadn't had this much fun in years, and for the first time in months, she didn't miss Bill at all. Suddenly, she had her own life, and his rejection of her seemed sad but much less important. “You don't look any different than you used to,” she said, looking at Tanya carefully in the mirror. But neither did she, and she had done nothing for it.
“That's the whole point,” Tanya explained. “What I'd like to know, though, is how come you don't look any different, and you claim you've done nothing. I think you're lying,” she teased, but she knew better. Mary Stuart just had great bones, a great face, great genes, and she was a beautiful woman. They both were.
They went to bed chatting like young girls, and they talked until two in the morning with the lights off, and then finally they went to sleep, and didn't wake up until nine the next morning. She had told Tom she'd call him in the hotel when they were ready.
Tanya made coffee in the kitchen, and sweet rolls in the microwave, while Mary Stuart showered. And then Tanya showered afterward, and they were both dressed in blue jeans and cowboy boots by nine-thirty. Neither of them had bothered to put on makeup.
“You know, I never do this,” Tanya confessed, looking in the mirror with amazement. She never went out that way in L.A., she couldn't afford to, but here it didn't matter. And it was a real luxury for her to have the freedom to do that. “I'm always afraid I'll run into a photographer somewhere, or a reporter. But here, what the hell,” she said, smiling. She felt better just being there, and so did Mary Stuart. They both felt free of their heavy burdens.
And a few minutes later, they walked back into the casino. Tanya had called Tom and told him they were almost ready to get going. They had closed up their beds, and he was going to finish cleaning up for them, and get gas, while the two women went to spend another twenty dollars on the slot machines. And this time they each doubled their money. Their friend of the night before was gone, and in his place were a dozen more like him, but absolutely no one paid any attention to Tanya. Mary Stuart thought it was amazing.
“Maybe you should go out without makeup more often,” she said as they boarded the bus. Tom was waiting for them, and he put on another pot of coffee.
“Thanks, Tom,” Tanya said when she saw how nice the bus looked. Mary Stuart had to agree with her, she thought it was the only way to travel. She loved it, and she could see why Tom called it a land yacht.
They drove out of Winnemucca shortly after ten, and continued their trek across Nevada all through the afternoon, and when they got to Idaho, the countryside began to look greener. It had been unbelievably barren in the desert. But Idaho was more inviting. And they rolled on doing just what they had before, reading and sleeping and talking. Tanya checked in with her office and returned some phone calls. But for once, there was no crisis. No one wanted anything from her, and there were no new traumas or lawsuits.
“How boring,” she teased Jean on the phone when she told her how quiet it was. But Tanya was grateful for the respite. There was only a message from Zoe confirming her flight time. She was going to arrive at Jackson Hole shortly after they did. And a van from the hotel was picking her up at the airport. Tanya figured they'd arrive at the ranch around five-thirty, just in time to change their clothes and have dinner. But she said nothing to Mary Stuart about the message from Zoe, although she was beginning to wonder if she should warn her. But Mary Stuart had been so relaxed on the trip, Tanya hated to spoil it, so she didn't. And for the last few hours of the trip, they both slept, and when they awoke, they were dazzled by the Tetons. They were the most spectacular mountains either of them had ever seen. Mary Stuart just sat and stared at them, and without even realizing it, Tanya starting humming and then singing.
It was a moment neither of them would forget for a lifetime. And as Tanya sang, Mary Stuart reached a hand out to her, and they sat holding hands, as they drove through Jackson Hole, toward Moose, Wyoming.
Chapter 11
“You have to check our stock of AZT constantly,” Zoe warned Sam as he handed her bags to the skycap. “You have no idea how quickly we run out. And I try to give away as many free samples as I can. It's expensive,” she said, handing the man a tip and her ticket so he could check her baggage. “And you have to kick the lab constantly. If you let them, they'll take forever. Particularly with the kids, that can be a disaster. You want to know as fast as you can what's happening to their white counts.” She was frantic as she got her ticket back and he walked her to the gate. She was frowning as she talked to Sam, and tried to remember all the concerns she had wanted to share with him at the last minute.
“This could come as a shock to you,” he said gently, as they went through the metal detector, and then past it. “But I went to medical school. I'm board certified, and I have a license. Honest. I swear.” He held up a hand, and she laughed nervously.
“I know, Sam. I'm sorry. I can't help it.”
“I know you can't. But you have to try and relax, or you're going to have a heart attack right here, and never get to Wyoming. And I hate doing CPR in places like this. It's so obvious, and it makes me look like an ER doc, instead of a humble locum tenens.” He was teasing her, and she wanted to relax, but she just couldn't. She felt so guilty, about leaving all of them and Jade, that she was sorry she was going, and if she could have backed out without feeling like a total jerk, she would have. But she had promised Tanya, and she knew she needed the rest. Otherwise, she would have stayed home and gone to work. She had just gone through the same performance at home with Inge, about instructions for Jade, and when the baby had started crying, Sam almost had to drag her down the stairs with her suitcase.
“I can see why you never go anywhere,” he said as they sat down to wait for the plane. He thought she looked pale and he wondered if she was sick again, or just stressed and nervous. Probably a little of both. He was glad she was taking a vacation and he loved doing locum tenens in her practice. He liked working for her too. But he was willing to sacrifice her company for the moment, she was obviously in dire need of some time off.
They had never talked about her personal life again. Ever
since their first night out, Zoe had kept the conversation entirely to business. But he still hadn't given up. He had promised to cook dinner for her and Jade when she got back from Wyoming, and she had at least accepted. She saw it as an opportunity for continued friendship. Sam didn't.
“You won't forget to check on Quinn Morrison, will you? I promised him you'd come by every afternoon after the office.” He was one of her favorite patients, a sweet man in his seventies, who had contracted AIDS after prostate surgery, and he was doing poorly.
“I swear,” Sam promised. She had also left him ten thousand instructions at the office. And as he looked at her with a gentle smile, he put an arm around her shoulders. “I'm also going to check up on your daughter, and make sure your au pair isn't beating her, or having sex in your bedroom while Jade watches Big Bird.”
“Oh, God, don't say that,” Zoe groaned at the prospect. She hadn't even thought of Inge doing a thing like that, and he laughed at her reaction.
“I'm going to put you on Prozac if you don't stop it. Or at least Valium.”
“What a nice idea,” she said. Actually, she had just started AZT that week, as a precaution. She was a great believer in doing that prophylactically, even before symptoms, and recommended it to all her patients. She had even told Sam that, in case he saw any new patients. “I really shouldn't have gone on this trip,” she said, torturing herself further, and he suggested they go and get a cup of coffee.
“I don't know another human being who deserves it more,” he said seriously, as he ordered two cappuccinos. “I'm just sorry you're not going for two weeks instead of one.” But they both knew she could never have done it.
“Maybe next year.”
“I'm impressed,” he teased. “You actually think you might do this again? I figured this was a once-in-a-life-time deal.” It might be, but not for the reasons he was thinking, and she didn't say that.
“We'll see.” She looked coy then over her coffee. “Depends how much I like it.”
“What's not to like.7” He had been to Yellowstone Park once, and absolutely loved it.
“Depends how cute the cowboys are.” She was teasing him, and he didn't think he liked it, but he was nonetheless willing to take it from her.
“Oh, great. You tell me you're becoming a nun, and now you're going to Wyoming to chase cowboys. Terrific. See if I cover for you again. Maybe I'll give all your patients placebos.”
“Don't you dare!” she laughed.
“I wear cowboy boots too, you know. And I can buy one of those dumb hats, if that's what gets to you. Funny though, I can't see Dick Franklin playing cowboy,” he mused, and she laughed at him. He loved to give her a hard time about the illustrious Dr. Franklin. Sam really didn't like him. He thought he was a pompous, pretentious asshole. They had disagreed about surgical treatment for breast cancer at a medical meeting in L.A., and Franklin had treated Sam like a novice. And although he wasn't a surgeon himself, he certainly had valid opinions. But Dick Franklin didn't think so.
“I'll bring you back a cowboy hat,” Zoe promised him, and he grinned. She still hadn't convinced him about the validity of her celibacy, and he had every intention of continuing to annoy her about it.
“Just don't bring home a cowboy.”
“I'll call you,” she said as the plane pulled in. She was flying to Salt Lake City, and then transferring to a smaller plane to Jackson Hole, Wyoming. She had timed it perfectly to arrive at almost the same time as Tanya.
“Say hello to your friend for me. I'd love to meet her sometime.”
“I'll tell her to call you,” she teased. Everyone in the world wanted to meet Tanya. She was everyone's dream girl. And then suddenly he looked serious as she picked up her bag and got ready to board the aircraft. “Take care of yourself. You need a break, Miss Z. Use this time for yourself. You've earned it.” She nodded, touched by the way he looked at her, but unable to respond to him, and then she saw him narrow his eyes with an unspoken question. “I just thought of something. Do you have a medical bag with you?” he asked, looking worried.
“Yeah. Why? I put one in my suitcase, but I checked it. Do you need it?” She looked around, wondering if he had seen something she hadn't. She was usually careful about volunteering her assistance in public, but if she was needed urgently, she always did it. “Is someone hurt?”
“Yeah. You. After I hit you over the head with my shoe. You're on vacation, you dope. I thought you'd do something like that. I want you to leave it in your suitcase.”
“Well, I wasn't planning to run around the ranch with it. I just thought I should have it in case something happened.” And then she looked at him pointedly and asked him a question. “Are you telling me you don't take one when you go somewhere? I'd feel lost without it.” She knew damn well he would too. They all did.
“That's different. I do relief work.” He looked mildly embarrassed, and she laughed at him, and then he put an arm around her and pulled her closer, but he knew she would never have let him kiss her. “Just be good to yourself. Forget all of us, if you can. If I really need you, I'll call you.”
“Promise you'll do that?” She looked genuinely concerned, and he nodded. It was why she liked leaving her practice in his hands, because he listened, he cared, and he did exactly what she wanted. He didn't try to change the world and turn everything upside down while he was on duty. And he was truly a great doctor, and she knew that. She had always thought he was foolish being satisfied with doing locum tenens.
“I promise you I'll call if anything comes up,” he reassured her again. “Promise me you'll get some rest and come back with pink cheeks and a little fatter, even if you do spend all your time chasing cowboys. Get a little sunshine too, and lots of sleep.”
“Yes, Doctor.” She smiled at him, and she thanked him again for keeping an eye on her practice, and a moment later she walked slowly down the gangway toward the plane. And he waved for as long as he could see her.
He stood watching the plane until it pulled away, and then he walked slowly out of the airport. And almost before he'd reached the door, his beeper went off, and he went to a phone to answer a call from one of her patients. He was off and running. And she was in the air by then, on her way to Wyoming.
The flight to Salt Lake took just over two hours, and she had a two-hour wait then for the next plane, and they had already had a time change. She thought about calling Jade, but she decided it might upset her to hear her voice so soon and not understand where she was. She decided to wait till she got to the ranch instead, and she sat in the airport and drank coffee and read the paper and sat lost in her own thoughts. She so rarely had time to do that. And she mused over the fact that she had heard from Dick Franklin the day before. Much to her surprise, he called her. He had been stunned, and very moved when he got her note. He didn't ask to see her again, but he said that if she needed anything, she should call. He appreciated her honesty, though he wasn't worried, and he assured her that her secret was safe with him. He asked her how it had happened, and she told him, and he said he wasn't surprised. And she had the feeling, when they hung up, that she wouldn't hear from him again. But in her mind, it was just as well. She had no room for him or any man in her life now.
It was a luxury just sitting there on the airplane, without phones, without beepers, without patients, without anyone needing or wanting her, without having to figure out how she could help them. As much as she liked her work, she knew she would really enjoy the vacation. And she really wanted to shore up her energy and her strength. She knew she would need them. She had every intention of continuing her practice till the bitter end. She had already made that decision. She was going to give her patients everything she had to give, until there was nothing left to give them. And Jade too. But she had to figure out what to do about Jade. She had no family to leave her with, and no friends she thought were responsible enough to take good care of her, or else they were people she liked but weren't good with children. She'd been thinking of talk
ing to Tanya, and she had no idea what she'd think of it. But it was a possibility at least. Zoe knew that eventually she had to do something.
The flight to Jackson Hole left on time, and Zoe landed on schedule at exactly five-thirty. She had no idea where Tanya was by then, she knew she was arriving by bus that afternoon. She had planned to reach her at the ranch, and the hotel was sending a van for her. Her bags were among the first ones off, the driver was waiting for her, and everything went smoothly.
The young man who drove the van was wearing jeans, boots, and a cowboy hat, and he looked like everyone else in Wyoming. He was long, lanky, and lean, had short blond hair, he said his name was Tim, and he was from Mississippi. He was attending the University of Wyoming in Laramie, and working at the ranch for the summer. He said he loved it because of the horses. And as he drove her there, he told her about it. But Zoe found she could barely listen to him, she was mesmerized by the mountains. They were the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, and the late afternoon sun shimmered on them in blues and pinks. There was snow at the very top, and they looked like the Swiss Alps to her. She had never seen anything like it.
“They're spectacular, aren't they, ma'am? They kinda take your breath away, don't they?” She agreed with him entirely, and let him rattle on for the half hour it took them to get there. He said he had an uncle who was a doctor too, he was an orthopedist and he'd set Tim's arm once. Did it real good too, because when he rode in the rodeo last year, the arm he'd broken before hadn't bothered him at all, but he'd broken the other one, and his leg too. But he was riding again this year. The story definitely had local color.
“Is there a rodeo here?” she asked with interest.
“Yes, ma'am. Wednesdays and Saturdays. Bull riding, broncos, the young kids ride steers, calf roping. You been to the rodeo before?”
The Ranch Page 18