They traveled up the mountain for nearly half an hour and then they reached the barricades where they had to leave the trucks. They were directed to go the rest of the way on foot, and join the others on the line. They were passing buckets of water, while planes overhead were dropping chemicals on it. The fire was blazing hot, and there was a constant roaring sound, like a huge waterfall, and they had to shout to be heard above it. Tanya took her sweater off, and tied it around her waist, she was wearing one of Gordon's T-shirts, and she had never been so hot in her life. She could feel her face getting blistered, and sparks were flying around them. It was terrifying as they fought the blaze, and they weren't even in the front lines. She couldn't even imagine what it must be like for the others. She was sorry she didn't have gloves as she burned her hands, and she could feel the ground hot beneath her boots, as trees fell and the wind raged on, and small animals rushed past them, heading down the mountain, but there had already been endless carnage. And she saw Zoe from time to time. They had formed a medical station with some doctors and nurses from town. People were starting to arrive in droves to help and it seemed like hours later when she saw Gordon. He walked right past her, and then he turned around with a look of amazement, and he came back for a minute to see her. He wondered if anyone knew who she was, and he doubted it. She was just standing there, working like all the others. She took a break for a minute then, she'd been working for hours, and her arms were so sore she could hardly lift them.
“What are you doing here?” He looked tired and filthy dirty, but the run to the other ranch had gone well. All the horses were safe there, and he had come up to fight the fire with the others.
“Zoe and I volunteered. I figured they could use some help.”
“You sure look for enough ways to get into trouble, don't you?” He shook his head at her, he didn't like the idea of her fighting the fire. If the wind changed, some of them could get trapped. It was easy to get killed fighting a fire like this one. “I'm going to the front, be sure you stay back here, I'll come back and look for you later.” She wanted to tell him not to go, but she knew it was his job, he had to defend the ranch from the fire with the others.
The planes continued to drop chemicals on the fire all night, and at noon they were all still there. Most of them were ready to drop they were so tired. And mattresses were brought up and laid on the backs of trucks, so people could sleep and form shifts. There were as many as ten people sleeping in the back of each truck. They were so tired they would have lain down anywhere and passed out. It was early in the afternoon when Tanya finally saw Zoe. She hadn't seen Gordon since that morning.
“Are you all right?” Tanya asked with a look of concern, but Zoe looked surprisingly well and very calm.
“I'm fine,” she smiled. “We've done pretty well, nothing but small casualties so far. They say that if the wind doesn't change, they'll have it out by nightfall. I saw Gordon a while ago. He said to say hi if I saw you.”
“Is he okay?” Tanya looked worried, and Zoe smiled as she nodded.
“He's fine, scorched his arm a little bit, nothing much. I think he's sleeping in the trucks right now.” The two women stood together drinking coffee for a little while, and then went back to their stations. It was something of an adventure for them, and they both liked the fact that they were useful. And they were planning to tease Mary Stuart for not coming. They both knew she hated being anywhere near road accidents, and fires, and anything frightening or out of control or potentially dangerous. Tanya was actually glad she had evacuated with Hartley, there was no real reason to be here. It was just nice to be able to lend a hand, and Tanya was happy to be there near Gordon, even if she never saw him. And this way, she could keep an eye on Zoe.
They were there till four o'clock that afternoon when the forestry service told them that the fire was officially in control. They thought they'd have it out completely before nightfall. A cheer went up all around, and half an hour later a band of filthy but happy people went back down the mountain. They went in trucks and vans and cars, they went on foot, and they talked and joked, and shared stories of what had gone on at the top, or off to the side, or on the trucks, or in the air. Everyone had a story. Tanya was walking when Zoe and the other doctors rode by. They looked tired but as though they were having a good time, and Tanya saw John Kroner among them. She waved at them and they drove on, and she walked slowly down the hills toward the valley. She was tired, but she didn't mind the walk, as she looked across the valley at the mountains. They were always there, her friends. She knew she would always love them.
“Need a ride?” a voice behind her said, and she turned to see who it was. It was Gordon, with a black face and a hard hat, driving his truck. His eyes had been covered with goggles, and she could see where he had burned his arm. It was covered with a bandage.
“Hi there, you okay?” she asked, and he nodded. He was exhausted. They were offering food in the dining room, and he didn't even think he'd have the strength to eat it. She hopped in with him, and instinctively she leaned over and he kissed her, and then they both looked shocked at what they'd done. It seemed so natural to them now, and they reminded each other that, particularly in this crowd, they had to be careful. “I'm sorry, Gordon, I wasn't thinking.”
“Neither was I,” he said with a broad smile. All he wanted was to go back to bed with her, and sleep for about twelve hours, and wake up next to her in the morning.
“What do you do about the horses now?” she asked, taking a swig of water from his thermos. It smelled of smoke, but she was desperately thirsty.
“We'll bring them back tonight. I'll come get you when I'm done,” he looked at her with a smile, “if that's all right with you.”
“Sounds good to me.” She lay her head back against the seat, looked out the window, and started singing. It was just an old Texas song, one of her favorite ones. He knew it too, and he started singing with her, and the people they passed smiled. As she sang, they began to realize who she was, and they were amazed to realize that she had come with them. It impressed a lot of them, and it had made a big impression on Charlotte Collins. Tanya had worked like a dog all night. She had been on the mountain for seventeen hours with all the others, and worked harder than most whenever Charlotte saw her. And Zoe had done the same. She'd actually had a great time with the other doctors.
When they got back to the ranch, before they brought the guests back, the dining room was opened to all the workers, and a huge meal was served of fried eggs, omelettes, sausages, bacon, steaks, fried tomatoes, there were cakes and ice cream, and fried potatoes.
“The only thing they don't have is grits,” Tanya complained with a grin as she took a seat next to Gordon.
“Damn right, they don't know how to eat here,” he laughed with her. They chatted easily and Zoe came and sat next to them, along with John Kroner and his lover. They talked about the fire for an hour, and then slowly everyone went back to where they came from. But Gordon still had to round up his crew to go and get the horses.
“You're going to be dead tonight,” Tanya whispered to him as they walked out of the dining room, “are you sure you want me to come by?”
“What do you think?” His eyes, as he looked at her, told the whole story.
“I think you're one tough hombre, Mr. Bronco Man,” she said, and nearly kissed him.
“Watch that, or I'll be out on the highway with my thumb out, looking for a job on another ranch.”
“I doubt that.” She had seen that night how hard he worked and what a great job he did. Charlotte Collins would have been crazy to can him. “But I'll be careful, I promise.” They were just too comfortable, it was as though they were meant to be together.
“Maybe you should hang on to this one,” Zoe said of Gordon with a smile, just as the bus returned, and they spotted Mary Stuart.
The bus and the vans came back at seven o'clock, and there was an informal buffet dinner waiting for everyone, in the same hall where she and Zoe
had eaten with the volunteers, and they really weren't hungry.
But they sat with Hartley and Mary Stuart anyway, talking about their adventures. They hadn't even had time to get back to the cabin yet. Zoe had been putting away supplies after the fire, and Tanya stuck around to help her after Gordon left to get the horses. But a noticeable camaraderie had sprung up among all those who'd fought the fire, and Zoe commented on how perfect for each other Gordon and Tanya seemed to her whenever she saw them together.
By the time they got back to the cabin that night, the fire on the mountain was completely out. It was on the news, and word spread all over the ranch quickly. Tanya got in the shower, and then soaked in the Jacuzzi for an hour, and as she got out of the tub and wrapped herself in a large towel, she heard a tapping on her window. She pulled back the curtain and saw a filthy black face there, with his goggle marks, and she wanted to reach out and put her arms around him. Mary Stuart and Zoe were already in bed. None of them slept the night before, and both of them said they were exhausted. Tanya was tired too, but she was waiting for Gordon, and it had taken hours to soak the smell of smoke out of her skin and her hair. She was all pink and clean now and smelled of perfume. He was beckoning her to come with him. He was too tired to wait, he was dead on his feet, but she signaled to him to hold on for a second, and she ran to the door of her cabin. She had had an idea as she lay in the Jacuzzi.
She turned the light out outside and in the living room, so no one would see them there, and she stood talking to him from the doorway.
“Come on,” he said urgently, he was anxious to get going.
“I want you to come inside. No one's going to know. The others are asleep, and after last night, if anyone sees anything, you can tell them you were talking to me about the fire.” It had been an unusual day and night and he hesitated only for a minute, and then slipped into the living room and closed the door behind him. All the curtains were closed, and she beckoned him straight into her bedroom.
“What's up?” he asked nervously. “I don't think we should spend the night here.”
“I want you to have a Jacuzzi,” she insisted. “You're exhausted. Come on. If you want to go after that, I'll go with you.” He knew he'd never want to go anywhere ever again once he took his clothes off, but he didn't argue with her. He didn't have the strength. They'd had a hell of a time getting the horses back, and he was beyond exhausted.
She turned on the tub for him, and helped him peel his clothes off. He was like a little kid only too happy for the assistance, and a moment later he got into the huge sunken tub, and she turned on the jets, and he lay there with his eyes closed, feeling as though he had died and gone to Heaven. He opened his eyes once as he started to drift off to sleep and looked at her. “Tanny, I can't believe this.” She didn't tell him that her life at home was even more luxurious. That wasn't the point between them. She just let him soak in the tub, and she washed his hair for him, while he lay there luxuriating. It was the best gift she could have given him, and she was glad she had insisted he come in with her.
He lay in the tub for nearly an hour, and then he glanced up at her. He hadn't been to sleep yet, but he looked a hell of a lot better. “Want to come in?” he asked, and she laughed. She was still wrapped in a towel from her own bath, and she couldn't believe that he could even think of such things, as tired as they both were. But the moment she got in the tub with him, it was obvious that he had other things on his mind than sleeping.
“I can't believe you. I thought you were dying an hour ago.”
“I've been resurrected. Select parts of me anyway.” She laughed at him, he was certainly in good form, and they made love in her Jacuzzi. It was midnight when they got out again, and they'd been in the water for so long that she said she felt like a little shriveled-up raisin. “You shore don't look like one,” he drawled, caressing her bottom, and then she turned and looked at him,
“Do you want to go back to your place or stay here?”
He thought about it for a moment, and knew he was a fool, but he just couldn't resist it. Just this once, he decided to take a chance. “I may regret this, especially if you don't kick me out around five-thirty. That's real important.”
“I will,” she promised him.
“Then let's stay here… I don't think I'll make it to my cabin.” Even more than that, he didn't really want to. They slipped into her enormous bed, and he thought he'd never felt anything as comfortable. The sheets were clean, her flesh was smooth, she smelled of perfume and soap, even her hair was clean. He had never felt better in his life, and he was asleep even before she could turn the light out.
He held her close to him all night, and she woke him up gently, as promised, at five-twenty. She had set her alarm clock.
“I hate to do this to you, baby,” she whispered into his neck, and he rolled over and put an arm around her. Even in his sleep he was affectionate with her, and she loved it. “You've got to get up.”
“No, I don't,” he said in the dark, with his eyes closed. “I died and went to Heaven.”
“Me too… come on, get up, sleepyhead…” He opened his eyes finally, and with a groan he got out of bed, and slowly put his clothes on. They were still filthy from the fire, and he was clean, but he only had to wear them as far as his cabin, and then he would shower again, and dress for work. But he hated to leave her.
“Thank you,” he said, as he stood looking at her, “that was the nicest gift anyone could give me,” he meant the Jacuzzi as much as her loving, and she smiled at him.
“I thought that would do you good.” And as they stood there, she remembered it was Wednesday. “You're not riding in the rodeo tonight, are you?” she asked, and he hesitated and then shook his head.
“I think I'd either fall asleep or fall off before I got out of the pen. I think I'll pass tonight.”
“Me too,” she said, after the fiasco on Saturday night, she hadn't planned on going either.
“Why don't we spend a quiet night listening to music? Do you mind coming to the cabin again?”
“No, sir.” She smiled and kissed him, and told him she would see him later. And then he slipped out on silent feet and was gone before anyone could see him. And when she saw him at the corral at nine o'clock, he looked clean and organized and official in a white shirt, a cowboy hat, and a pair of jeans. The horses were all sorted out and saddled, everyone looked rested again. Other than a faint smell of smoke in the air, you would never have known that anything had happened. But it was all anyone could talk about all day. The fire on Shadow Mountain.
It was a peaceful day for all of them, and that afternoon, after lunch, Mary Stuart called Bill in London. He was working in his room, and he sounded a little surprised to hear from her. She usually sent him faxes now and rarely called him. But he seldom called her either.
“Is something wrong?” he asked, startled to hear her voice. It was ten o'clock at night in London.
“No, I'm fine,” she said matter-of-factly, and asked him how work was, he said it was fine, and then there was an awkward silence. She told him about the forest fire then, and that Zoe and Tanya had volunteered, but she had been evacuated to another ranch. She didn't say that she had gone with Hartley. And then she totally stunned her husband. “I thought I'd come to London next week,” she said quietly.
“I told you,” he said, sounding irritated. “I'm busy.”
“I'm well aware of that. But I think we need to talk. Otherwise I'm not going to see you till September.” Apparently that didn't bother him. But it bothered her a lot. That was part of the problem.
“I might be back at the end of August.”
“I'm not going to wait another six weeks to see you,” she said simply.
“I miss you too,” he said, still annoyed, “but I'm working day and night. I told you that. Otherwise, I'd have had you come with me.”
“Would you rather I just send you a fax?” she snapped at him. It was ridiculous, he wouldn't even take the time for her
to tell him it was over.
“Don't be disagreeable. I don't have time to see you.”
“That's the entire point of my visit. You don't have time to speak to me either, or make love to me, or be my husband. I don't actually think it has as much to do with time, Bill, as interest.”
“What exactly are you saying?” he said with a little chill running up his spine. He was suddenly beginning to understand what she was saying, the faxes, the silences, the fact that she didn't call. He was getting it. But very, very slowly. “Why are you coming over here?” he asked her bluntly. He had always hated surprises.
“To see you. I won't take a lot of your time, I won't even stay in the same hotel if you don't want me to. I just think that after twenty-one years, we ought to say a word or two to each other before we throw the whole mess in the trash can.”
“Is that how you feel about us?” He sounded both appalled and startled, but she couldn't deny it.
“Yes, it is, and I'm sure you feel that way too. I just think we ought to talk about it.”
“I don't feel that way at all,” he said, sounding crushed. “How could you say that?”
“The fact that you can even ask me that is the saddest thing I can think of.”
“We've both been through a great deal… And I have this very important case in London… you know that…”
“I know, Bill.” She sounded tired listening to him. He was so totally without insight that she wondered if it was even worth her while going over to see him. Just talking to him depressed her. “We'll talk next week.”
“Are we talking or signing papers?” he said, sounding angry.
“That's up to you.” But it wasn't. It was up to her. And she knew it. He'd probably go on like that forever, married to a woman he never touched, looked at, or spoke to. As far as she was concerned it was not too appealing. And having just spent ten days talking to Hartley constantly, the idea of going back to a silent, loveless marriage made her suicidal. She just wasn't going to do it. It was over.
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