She pushed at his massive chest as hard as she could. "We have to stop. I can't do this. Shouldn't . . ."
"Damn it, Jess." Cameron grasped her shoulders, barely restraining himself from shaking her. "TR is gone. Let him go."
"I know TR is dead, but a wife should be loyal to her husband . . . to his memory. His battles were my battles . . . are my battles."
"Even when you don't know what you're fighting for? You said yourself you don't know what the feud was about. It's not your feud. Hell, it wasn't even TR's. It was about something that happened years ago when our grandfathers were young."
"Do you know why they were fighting?" For some reason, the answer was important. Jessie felt like she was in a dark tunnel and had just spotted a pinpoint of light. If she found out the reason for the feud, then she'd have one less thing to feel guilty about. Maybe she could move on and not feel as if she were betraying her husband.
"I don't know the reason, but we can find out." Cameron grabbed her hand and started for the door.
"Where are we going?"
"To the ranch. My mother will know what that damned feud was about."
****
Ruth sat at the old oak table in her kitchen. She looked from Cameron to Jessie, then back to Cameron again. "I haven't thought about the feud in a long time. Grandma told me about it when I first married your father, but nobody mentioned it much after that."
Jessie sat across from Ruth, waiting impatiently. What could have happened to make TR's grandfather hate the McCades so much that his grandson carried on the feud after his death? Suddenly, she wasn't sure she wanted to know. Ignorance was sometimes bliss. She didn't want to betray TR, but it was time to move forward. She'd been given another chance with Cameron. She couldn't let it slip through her fingers. But the guilt . . . she had to get past the guilt.
Ruth folded a dishcloth, smoothing the material with her palms. "Grandma said it was the silliest thing, really. She couldn't understand why the men acted so stupid." She reached over and patted Cameron's hand. "Nothing personal, dear. Men just can't help themselves. Not that you act stupid, at least, not often."
Jessie shot a look at Cameron to see his reaction. His eyes held a glint of amusement. All the McCades adored their mother. That had to be a point in their favor.
"Anyway," Ruth continued, "Grandma said it was just a misunderstanding. 'All's fair in love and war,' if you get my drift?"
Cameron took a deep breath. Probably praying for patience, Jessie thought.
"No, we don't get your meaning," he said. "Tell us what happened."
"Well, Grandma was engaged to Travis Devine before she married Grandpa."
"TR's grandfather?" Jessie asked.
Ruth nodded, her cheeks turning pink as if she were embarrassed.
"So what?" Cameron said. "They obviously broke up and she married Grandpa."
Ruth shook her head. "There was a little more to it than that. The night before the wedding, Grandpa persuaded her to run off with him. It caused quite a scandal. Travis was left standing at the altar, so to speak. He never forgave Grandpa or Grandma."
"Why didn't she just end the engagement?" Jessie asked.
"She couldn't. Everything was in place. It had something to do with the land. This land. Grandma was an only child. She brought a good portion of the Diamondback Ranch, only it wasn't called that back then, to her marriage. Grandpa came home from the war and swept her off her feet. They fell in love, but Travis wouldn't release her from the betrothal. He wanted the land, you see."
"Are you sure he didn't love her?" Jessie said.
"Travis Devine never loved anyone but himself," Ruth said. "He married TR's grandmother shortly after the scandal. Her parents had money. Not a whole lot, but enough."
"So why did Grandpa sell old man Devine the mineral rights?" Cameron asked.
"He was trying to smooth things over with Travis. Grandpa had a chance to expand the ranch, but was short on cash." Ruth shot Jessie a mischievous and conspiring look, no doubt thinking about Jessie's recent lack of cash flow. "Travis had become something of a recluse, always making threats against the McCades, obsessed with the Diamondback Ranch. Grandpa offered the mineral rights on the northeast portion of the ranch, the part that adjoins the Devine place. It was sort of like an olive branch."
"It didn't help though, did it?" Jessie said.
"No, it didn't. Travis bought the rights and held them over Grandpa's head, always threatening to lease them to one of the big oil companies. He knew Grandpa would be powerless to stop them from drilling on the land."
"So why didn't he make good on his threats?" Cameron said.
"Luckily, the big companies were too busy drilling off-shore. They haven't bothered looking for oil around here in years. Only until recently . . ." Ruth trailed off as she looked again at Jessie.
Cameron scooted back his chair. "I know about Jessie and the mineral rights."
"You do?" Ruth asked.
He nodded. "We talked about it when I was here last time, remember? Anyway, thanks for telling us about the feud. I'm going to take Jessie home now."
"My truck's at the garage," Jessie said.
"Then I'll take you there."
He guided her out the door, his hand resting on the small of her back. His touch sent shivers down to her toes. She tried not to blush at Ruth's knowing smile.
On the road to town, Jessie sat in silence. The feud had happened so long ago; it seemed foolish now. True love had won out over greed. TR's grandfather had nursed the grudge because he'd lost the land. He had taught TR to hate and mistrust the McCades. Sighing, Jessie knew she had never hated the McCades. In fact, she'd lost her heart to one when she'd been very young.
She turned her head slightly and studied Cameron's profile. The lights from the instrument panel cast a soft glow over his rugged features. He caught her eye and winked, setting butterflies loose in her stomach. He was dangerously handsome, the attraction between them almost frightening.
Cameron was right. She had been living in the past. With Ruth's explanation, Jessie finally understood TR's hatred toward the McCades.
"Why so quiet?" Cameron asked, glancing at her.
Because I want you so much it scares me. Of course, she couldn't tell him that. "I was thinking how much time and energy TR wasted on that feud. Travis Devine's hatred affected TR's life and mine."
"Does this mean you're going to put the feud to rest?" he asked.
Jessie swallowed hard and nodded. "Yes, I guess I am."
"Good. I'm glad, Jess." Cameron's smile burned a hole right through her midsection.
"Does this mean you'll sell Dallas the mineral rights?"
The muscles in the back of her neck tightened. Letting go of the feud was one thing; letting go of those mineral rights was something else. "No, I've told you before. I'll never sell the mineral rights."
"Why not? You realize the feud was pointless. Why not let Dallas buy back the rights?"
"I promised TR, and that's one promise I won't break. I hate breaking promises. I hated breaking the one I made to your mother. I had to lease the rights, you know. I had to make that phone call."
"You did? She seems to be taking it well," Cameron said.
"I still hate that I had to do it."
"Try not to worry about it, Jess. You did what you had to do."
The lights of Salt Fork were straight ahead. Cameron turned into the station and parked next to Jessie's pickup. He got out, walked around to open Jessie's door and helped her out.
"So what happens now, Jess?" he asked.
"I'm not sure. You're the one who always has a plan."
He frowned. "Right, a plan. Would you believe I don't have one this time?"
That made her smile. "Wow, this must be a first for you."
Cameron stepped close and touched her cheek in a gentle caress. "Help me, Jess. I don't know where to go from here. I want you so much, I hurt. But I can't see my way through. For once in my life, I'm acting on imp
ulse. I don't know what I really want. Not only in my personal life, but my professional life as well."
"Cameron, I--"
He placed a finger over her lips. "Help me find the way, Jess. Nothing feels right anymore. All I know is that when I'm with you, everything feels better."
Cameron gathered her in his arms and kissed her tenderly. "Help me, sweetheart."
Jessie knew she was fighting a losing battle. She didn't want to betray TR, but Cameron was right. It was time to move forward. She'd been given a second chance. And Cameron seemed open to explore what they felt for each other. She couldn't let it slip through her fingers.
Jessie wiggled free from Cameron's hold. He said he wanted to continue where they'd left off. Then maybe they needed to go back to where it had all begun.
"Jess?" Confusion and desire burned in his blue eyes. "Let me love you, please."
If only he could. Jessie took his big hand in hers and tugged. "Come on, Cameron."
He hung back. "Where are we going?"
"Lover's Point."
"Lover's Point? Why?"
She placed his hand on her heart. "Because that's where all of this started."
"And that's where you think it should end?"
"Not end," Jessie said. "Begin. Let's make a new beginning."
"I'd like that, Jess. I'd like that a lot."
Chapter Seven
The drive to Lover's Point took less than ten minutes. Ten long minutes that had Jessie wrestling with second, third and fourth thoughts. Could she put years of self-blame and sorrow behind her and move on? Or would this just cause more inner turmoil?
Cameron turned off the main road and drove up the bluff leading to Lover's Point. He parked the Jag on the ridge overlooking the deep canyon and cut the motor and the lights. The moon glowed brightly in the dark sky and a trail of wispy clouds floated across its silver face.
Jessie gripped the door handle, ready to hurl herself from the car. She wasn't ready . . . she wasn't sure . . .
"It's all right, Jess. We're not going to do anything until both of us want to."
Jessie's heart turned over at the tenderness in his voice. She licked her dry lips. "It's silly, but I'm nervous."
"I'm a little nervous, too." Cameron leaned against the doorframe and faced her in the darkness. "The last time I was up here, it was with you. You were nervous then, too. You'd never been to Lover's Point. You'd never been kissed."
"You remember it was my first kiss?" How sweet was that? Maybe he cared for her more than he realized.
"I remember feeling glad I was your first. You were so innocent and so damned young." Cameron snagged her gaze, his eyes tender and hot at the same time. "I remember a lot of things about that night."
"Like what?" Jessie tucked one leg beneath her, positioning herself toward him.
"Like I was glad I asked you to the prom. I was glad you accepted my invitation."
"But I was your last resort," Jessie said. "The prom was only a few days away. You'd broken up with Patti and there was no one left to ask."
His eyes burned into hers. "You weren't my last resort, Jess." His deep voice wrapped around her like a caress.
"I wasn't?" Her heart thudded in her ears.
"Not by a long shot," he said. "There were several girls in Girard and Cactus Gap who would've gone with me. You were not my last resort."
"Really?" Jessie's stomach did a belly flop. All these years she'd believed she was his last choice. That it had been a total fluke when he'd asked her to the prom. She'd been wrong. What else had she been wrong about?
"Yes, really." Cameron leaned closer. "Know what else I remember about that night?"
Jessie leaned closer, too; she couldn't help herself. "What do you remember?" she asked softly.
"I remember how beautiful you were in that dress. You looked so grown up. And sexy. I'd never seen you out of your coveralls."
Cameron reached for her and slipped his fingers behind her neck, drawing her across the console until they were only millimeters apart. "I'd give anything to see you out of your coveralls again." She felt his warm breath on her lips.
"Why did you come back?" Jessie asked, searching his eyes in the darkness.
"I couldn't stay away, Jess. I just couldn't stay away." He ground out the words as he clamped his mouth on hers.
Jessie's heart shifted in her chest. She gave in to the whirlpool of passion, kissing Cameron like she'd been longing to do, tasting him, savoring the feel of him.
After a couple of minutes, Cameron pulled back and smiled a smile so sexy, so intimate, whatever barriers Jessie had erected crashed and burned.
"This is good, Jess. This feels right." He pushed the bucket seat away from the steering wheel and hauled Jessie onto his lap. He wrapped his arms tightly around her and brushed his lips across hers, back and forth, teasing, taunting.
Jessie's breasts grew heavy. Her nipples ached to be touched. She felt Cameron's arousal thrusting against her. She wriggled until they fit snugly together. The layers of clothing only intensified the wanting, the longing, the desire.
Cameron scattered fleeting kisses over her eyelids, her cheeks, the tip of her nose. He kissed the corners of her mouth, nipped her chin, caressed her face with his lips, but never tasted her fully.
Jessie thought she might die if he didn't kiss her, really kiss her. His words echoed in her ears. This did feel good; it felt so right to be in his arms again. She tried to catch his mouth, but he held her captive with one strong hand tangled in her hair.
"Please, Cameron." A liquid heat gathered low in her stomach.
"Tell me what you want," he said, quickly dipping his tongue into her mouth, only to retreat again.
"Kiss me. Please kiss me," she said.
With his hands on either side of her face, he slanted his head and fastened his mouth on hers, plunging deeply, grinding his lips against her softness. He shifted his lower body to stroke her from below. She groaned into his mouth.
Cameron cupped one breast, kneading gently through the layers of cloth. "I want you, Jess. Let me make love to you."
Jessie knew if she rejected Cameron now, she would regret it for the rest of her life. She was so tired of the turmoil and self-reproach. She was ready for a new beginning with Cameron. She loved him. She'd loved him forever. Maybe she could make him love her back.
Cameron touched her cheek. "Jess?"
She caught his hand and kissed his palm. His blue eyes glittered in the dark interior of the car.
"Is that a yes?" he asked.
"Yes, oh, yes!" She couldn't resist him any longer; she captured his mouth in another heart-stopping kiss. "Let's go to my house."
He smiled his killer smile. "Excellent idea." Kissing her one more time, Cameron set her from him and started the car.
"It's getting late," Jessie said, buckling her seat belt. "I'll need my pickup in the morning for work."
"All right. We'll go back and get your truck. Then I'll follow you home." He leaned over and took her mouth again before reluctantly breaking contact.
They didn't talk on the way to the garage. Cameron stopped the car beside her pickup. "Go on, Jess. The quicker we get to your house, the quicker we can get naked and into bed."
The provocative words flowed over her like warm honey. Her body pulsed with desire. She didn't know how she made it to her truck; she was sure her feet never touched the ground.
Jessie kept glancing in her rear view mirror on the drive home, mesmerized by Cameron's headlights. Feelings of elation alternated with misgivings. This was a big step. Could she handle the aftermath? Could she make Cameron love her?
****
She parked at the back of the house and so did Cameron. He stood close behind as she opened the door, then followed her into the dark kitchen. Jessie switched on the lights and made a beeline for the heater. She struck a match and the blue flame leapt to life.
"Sorry it's so cold," she said. "I turn everything off before I go to work. I better
light the other heaters, so we won't freeze to death."
Cameron reached for her. "I don't think we need to worry about that."
Suddenly shy, Jessie slipped from his arms and dashed to the living room. "You don't realize how cold it actually is. I won't be long," she called.
After a few minutes, she came back to the kitchen and stopped in the doorway. Cameron stood by the stove, warming his hands, his presence filling the room. He turned to warm his backside, and his eyes fastened on hers.
"Come on over here, Jess." He held out his arms, and she walked straight into his embrace.
Cameron enveloped her in a bear hug, slowly rotating so she could be warmed by the fire. She wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his chest. For a moment, they stood just like that, taking advantage of the heat from the stove. Soon, a different kind of heat built between them.
Jessie looked up. Cameron's eyes were heavy with desire. Her stomach jittered nervously. "Do you want a drink?"
He shook his head and gave her a smile so sensual, it stole the breath from her lungs. "No, all I want is you." He slid his hands to her bottom and pulled her hard against his body.
"There's something I need to tell you," Jessie said.
He rubbed his hands up and down her spine. "What is it, sweetheart?"
"I haven't . . . done this in a long time."
Cameron's hands stopped rubbing. "Exactly how long do you mean?"
"I haven't been with anyone since TR." She thought she might as well confess it all. "I haven't been with anyone except TR."
Cameron moved his hands again. "It'll be good between us. I'll make it good. I promise." He kissed her, dipping into her sweetness. His tongue swirled around her liquid warmth.
Jessie closed her eyes, tilting her head back. Her lower body readied itself, growing damp, throbbing to be filled. Her knees sagged. She kept from falling by clasping her arms more tightly around Cameron's waist. How many years had she dreamed of this moment?
Cameron hooked an arm under her legs, lifting Jessie with ease. She grabbed hold around his neck and nestled her head in the crook of his shoulder.
The Doctor Wears A Stetson (Contemporary Western Romance) Page 10