"Over at the Rocky Hollow Club in Cactus Gap. One of my patients told me about it this afternoon. Do you want to go?"
Jessie picked up the fabric panel she'd sewn for Cameron's den. "I've never been to a Valentine's Dance."
"Well then, you're in for a treat. I'll pick you up at six, we'll grab a bite at Sarah Sue's, then head on over to Cactus Gap."
Jessie smiled as she handed him the curtain panel. "It's a date, Dr. McCade. You going to wear your Stetson?"
"Don't I always?"
"Not always." Jessie sighed and fluttered her eyelashes at him. "One of these days . . ."
His eyes glittered dangerously seductive. "What are you saying? You want me to wear my hat in bed?"
Jessie shrugged. "A girl can always dream, can't she?"
Cameron climbed down from the ladder and tossed the curtain aside, amorous intent shining in his eyes as he advanced toward her.
"Hey, what are you doing? It's going to get wrinkled," Jessie cried, making a mad dash for the curtain. "I don't want to iron that sucker again."
"It'll be fine," he said, catching her arm and pulling her to him. "I'd like to make all your dreams come true, Jess."
She snuggled closer and looped her arms around his neck. "You've already made two of them come true."
Cameron nibbled her lips. "And which ones would those be?"
"You've moved back to Salt Fork and you're making my clinic a reality. I'm thankful for that. You don't know how much. I've felt so guilty about TR dying because there was no doctor close by."
"That wasn't your fault, sweetheart."
"I know, but I feel bad about TR. I wasn't a good wife. The chemistry between us was nothing compared to what you and I share."
"That wasn't your fault either," Cameron said. "You need to let go of the guilt, Jess. You were doing the best you could at the time."
"You can't know that."
He kissed her forehead and gave her a hug. "I know you. You don't do anything halfway. And you're stubborn as hell."
Jessie searched his face. "Yeah, well. Building the clinic and getting it up and running has helped me feel a little better."
"I'm glad, Jess. Now I'd like to make that other dream of yours come true."
Jessie smiled. "I'll go get your Stetson."
The doorbell rang and the look of consternation on Cameron's face made Jessie giggle.
"I wonder who that could be?" she asked.
Cameron shrugged. "Whoever it is, I'll get rid of them quick."
Jessie skipped along beside him, down the hall and down the stairs. She could see Ruth through the glass panes of the front door. "Be nice to your mother, Cameron."
He sighed. "I'm always nice to my mother. What I really want is to be nice to you." He patted her butt when he passed her on the way to the door.
"You can be nice to me later, Dr. Cowboy. I'm counting on it."
****
The Valentine's Dance was over, and Jessie had to admit it was the best dance she'd ever gone to--after the prom, of course. Both times she'd been Cameron's date. But she'd been his last minute choice all those years ago, no matter what he'd told her.
Tonight, she'd been his first choice. And it felt wonderful.
She leaned her head against the leather-cushioned seat of the Jag, humming one of the love songs the band had played, smiling dreamily, thinking about all the slow dances they'd shared.
The miles flew by and the lights of Salt Fork soon came into view. It took several minutes to realize Cameron hadn't turned off the road heading toward her place. He'd driven right past.
"Where are we going? I thought you were taking me home."
"I'll take you home later. We're going to Lover's Point."
"Lover's Point?"
"Yeah, there's something I want to do up there and it involves you."
She smiled hugely. "Are we going to make out?"
He chuckled, the deep sound flowing through her. "We can, if you want."
"Oh, I want."
Cameron revved the motor and the car shot up the steep incline of the bluff overlooking the canyon. He cut the motor, turned in his seat and faced Jessie.
She suddenly felt nervous, which was ridiculous. She'd come a long way from the scared fifteen-year-old she'd been that first time she'd sat parked on the bluff with Cameron.
"I would have thought there'd be more cars up here on Valentine's night," she said, looking around.
"Lucky for me, we have the place to ourselves."
He leaned across the console and took her hand in his. He kissed her knuckles and her palm. "I brought you up here because this was where we first kissed. It's also where we started over last October. You remember?"
Jessie nodded. "I remember."
"I've fallen in love with you, Jess. I think I fell in love with you the first time we parked up here after the prom, but I was too set on carrying out my plans to stop and realize it."
"Cameron, I--"
He put his fingers over her lips. "Let me finish, sweetheart. I know you had a crush on me when we were kids. I'm hoping it's grown into something more. I'm hoping you feel the same for me as I feel for you now." He fished in his sports coat pocket, drew out a square jeweler's box of black velvet and opened it.
Jessie gasped when she saw the large diamond ring glittering in the moonlight that was spilling through the windshield of the Jag. "Oh my . . ."
Cameron took her left hand in his and pulled her close, laying her palm on his chest. She felt the steady beat of his heart and the heat of his skin beneath the smooth fabric of his shirt.
"Jess, I love you like I never thought I could love anyone. I want you to be my wife, share my life and have my babies."
A tear slid down Jessie's cheek and she bit her lip. This is what she'd dreamed of ever since she could remember. Her most precious wish was coming true.
But it was too late.
How could she marry Cameron now? She'd broken up his tight-knit family. She had come between him and Dallas. Ruth might say Dallas would come around, but Jessie didn't put much faith in the statement. Dallas McCade was a man who held a grudge.
And what about children? Children she would never be able to give Cameron. Children he so obviously wanted and took for granted she could give him.
Jessie still felt remorse about not giving TR a baby. How much worse would she feel, not being able to give Cameron a child? A child, Jessie suddenly realized, she wanted very badly.
"Jess? You haven't answered. I'm asking you to marry me."
Jessie took a deep fortifying breath. Would she regret turning down Cameron's offer? You bet, but the alternative seemed far worse. Besides, she was used to living with regret. And she was used to living without Cameron in her life. She'd been doing it for the last seventeen years. She could keep on doing it.
Shaking her head, Jessie tried not to cry. "I'm sorry, Cameron. But I can't marry you."
Chapter Eleven
Cameron went through the motions of seeing patients, looking down throats and into ears, listening to heartbeats and lungs, writing out prescriptions, but his mind wasn't on the work. He kept berating himself for springing the marriage proposal on Jessie too soon.
That's what came from not thoroughly planning things out. Oh, he'd planned to take her to Lover's Point and he'd bought the ring. But he hadn't taken her feelings into consideration. He'd thought she loved him, but now he realized she'd never actually said the words.
Well, neither had he, before Friday night. But that didn't change the fact that he did love her. And she loved him, too. There was no way she could respond to his kisses and lovemaking so deeply if she didn't love him.
Cameron made notes on a patient's chart and gave it to the nurse. He walked to his office and closed the door. Sitting at his desk, he gazed out the window at the reddish brown fields stretching almost to the horizon.
He was glad he'd moved his practice to Salt Fork, and he enjoyed living in the house in the middle of town. But i
t all felt hollow and empty, because he'd pictured Jessie at his side every step of the way.
Never in a million years had he imagined a refusal when he'd asked her to marry him. They'd gotten along so well; not only in bed, but in every little way as well. He didn't remember the drive back to her house that night. He'd been in a state of shock.
He shook his head. Valentine's Day would never be the same for him. Not if he took Jessie's refusal seriously. Why had his proposal backfired? Something was going on in that stubborn brain of hers. Something keeping her from taking what Cameron was offering. It had something to do with TR Devine, he was sure of that.
Acting on impulse could only get a man so far. Especially a man who'd planned every little detail of his life up to now. Cameron decided it was time to make a few new plans. Comprehensive plans, if he wanted to convince Jessie they belonged together.
And he'd never wanted anything so badly that he could remember. He smiled when he spotted a robin on the brown lawn outside the clinic window. A sign of spring and rebirth. A new beginning.
Oh yeah. It was time to make new plans and put them into action.
****
The pounding in Jessie's head woke her from a restless sleep. Slowly, she opened one eye and peeked at the clock on her nightstand. Ten-thirty. Groaning, she rolled over and covered her head with a pillow to block out the bright morning sunshine. She had made it through another night without Cameron, and it was hell.
She hadn't seen or heard from him in days, but it was her own damn fault, wasn't it? She'd thrown his marriage proposal in his face, so what had she expected?
Maybe a phone call? An email? Maybe a demand to know her reasons? But no, she'd heard nothing.
Cameron hadn't even tried to change her mind when she'd said she couldn't marry him. He'd just snapped the velvet jeweler's box closed, apologized and drove her home. The silence had hung heavy in the dark car. It was one of the worse nights of her life.
Jessie swung her legs to the floor and stood. For a split second, she felt dizzy and caught hold of the bed poster for support. She waited for the room to stop spinning, before heading to the bathroom. She really needed to take better care of herself and stop wallowing in misery and self-pity. She'd only brought it on herself after all.
After washing her face and combing her hair, she felt somewhat better. In the kitchen, Jessie started the coffee maker and soon the lovely aroma of coffee filled the air. Pulling her robe closer around her shoulders, she stood at the kitchen sink and stared out the window, waiting for the coffee to brew.
Yeah, she should really stop indulging in this pity party. She'd gotten through some tough times in her life before this. She could do it again.
The coffee maker stopped gurgling and Jessie poured a cup of coffee. Hoping a jolt of caffeine would jump-start her body, she took a sip and the hot liquid scorched her tongue.
Good, she was beginning to feel again. Her whole body had been numb since Cameron had left her on her doorstep Friday evening. Valentine's Day. The day dedicated to love. The day she'd stomped on Cameron McCade's heart. The day he'd told her he loved her and wanted to marry her . . . and she'd refused.
What in the world was wrong with her? Her most secret wish had come true and she'd thrown it away? Why hadn't she talked to him about her not being able to have children? Why hadn't she told him she loved him?
Smooth, Jess. Just flat out refuse his love and proposal. She'd never been good with the man/woman thing. But that didn't begin to explain her actions. She must be sick in the head.
Jessie took another sip of coffee and squared her shoulders. She was through with crying. She'd go into work today and pretend nothing had happened. She should be thankful Cameron had returned to Salt Fork and was practicing at the clinic. That was one dream that had come true.
And if she had to live the rest of her life without the man she'd always loved? Jessie sighed. She seemed destined to live with some kind of regret hanging over her. She'd move on somehow. She always did.
****
Cameron rushed up the steps of City Hall, adjusting the tie he'd thrown on just minutes before. He'd almost forgotten the City Council meeting tonight. The meeting where he was going to be presented a plaque thanking him for taking the position at the clinic. Jessie would also be there, since she'd been the one to get the clinic up and running.
They'd planned on attending together, but that was before. Before Jessie had refused to be his wife.
And he hadn't had a chance to put any new plan into action. Hell, he'd been so busy he hadn't even thought of a plan. The flu had hit the residents of Salt Fork with a vengeance and Cameron was kept running from dawn to dusk, seeing patients.
When he opened the council chamber's doors, the first person he saw was Jessie. She was wearing that blue dress that had nearly driven him out of his mind with desire when she'd worn it to his mom's birthday party last fall. Damn, that seemed like a lifetime ago. So many things had changed since then.
Mayor Vandeford came forward to shake Cameron's hand, a welcoming smile on his face. "Dr. McCade, so glad you could make it."
Cameron shook hands with the man, eyes still focused on Jessie who was standing across the council chamber talking to a group of people. "I'm honored to be here. How's your daughter doing? She fully recovered from her accident at the homecoming game last fall?"
The mayor nodded. "Oh yes, and she's back to cheerleading which she loves. My Hilda's a little trooper. I can't thank you enough for your quick actions that night."
"No problem. That's my job. Glad to hear she's okay."
Just then the doors opened to admit more people, and Cameron was glad to see his mother, Austin, Kelsey and Tyler among the crowd. The mayor greeted the McCades, then turned away when someone asked him a question.
"Oh, Cam," Ruth said, a little out of breath. "I thought we were going to be late. I wouldn't miss this for the world. I'm so proud of you."
He hugged his mom and ruffled Kelsey's hair. "Dallas couldn't make it?"
Ruth sniffed and fished in the pocket of her coat for a tissue. "He's still angry about . . . well, you know."
Tyler smacked Cameron on the shoulder. "Don't worry about old Dallas. He can't stay mad forever."
Austin looked around the chambers. "Quite a crowd here tonight. We'd better grab some seats. Break a leg, Cam."
The mayor returned to Cameron's side. "Sorry about that. Duties and all. I'm sure you know most of the people here, but there are a few new faces. Let me introduce you around before the meeting gets underway."
As Cameron followed the mayor and shook hands with various councilmen, he kept Jessie in his peripheral line of vision. She'd glanced his way only once, then quickly looked away. She seemed pale. Was she ill or just uncomfortable?
Damn, he missed her. This situation was totally unnecessary. Two people who loved each other, enjoyed the same things and shared incredible sexual chemistry should be able to marry and have kids. What could possibly be keeping her from accepting his proposal?
The meeting was called to order. Cameron sat beside the mayor and Jessie sat three seats down the table.
Old business was discussed and Cameron listened with half an ear, his mind on his personal problems and what he could do to fix things between Jessie and himself.
Because if things weren't fixed soon, Cameron had the sick feeling that Jessie would be lost to him forever.
****
Jessie couldn't remember when she'd felt this uncomfortable and uneasy. With Cameron sitting so close, yet so far away, she was unable to keep her mind on the business at hand
In a few minutes, she was supposed to stand near Cameron and present him with a token of appreciation from the Chamber of Commerce. She was going to have to touch him while she fastened the gold pin to his jacket, smell his unique smell, feel the heat from his big body. The body she'd become intimately acquainted with over the past several months. The body belonging to the man she loved with all her heart, but had
refused to marry.
What in the world was wrong with her?
"And now we come to the part of the program that's my favorite," the mayor announced. "Tonight, it's with great pleasure and honor that I present a hometown boy who has come back to roost, a man who has taken on a position that is near and dear to our hearts. Ladies and gentlemen, Dr. Cameron McCade."
Everyone stood and the room rocked with applause and whistles. Jessie watched from her vantage point as Cameron walked to the front of the council table where the mayor handed him a large wooden plaque.
Ruth and his brothers were sitting in the audience and Jessie could see the pride in Ruth's eyes as everyone applauded loud and long. Jessie craned her neck looking for Dallas, but he was nowhere to be seen. The big rancher was obviously still angry with Cameron. Maybe when he found out she'd refused to marry his brother, Dallas would forgive Cameron and be friends again. She should feel good about that, but it afforded her little comfort.
Mayor Vandeford looked Jessie's way and nodded. It was her turn. She swallowed her discomfort, took a deep breath and made her way to the podium. She was a grown woman. She could handle this. It would soon be over and she could go home to her empty house and have herself another good cry. Sooner or later, she'd run out of tears.
Jessie stood behind the podium and waited for the applause to die down before speaking. She kept her eyes forward, not wanting to look at Cameron before it was absolutely necessary. "I would also like to welcome Dr. McCade back to Salt Fork," she said. "As president of the Chamber of Commerce, I'm happy to offer my heartfelt gratitude to him for filling a much-needed void in our community. Now, the citizens of Salt Fork can receive quick efficient medical treatment without having to drive eighty miles to the nearest hospital."
Jessie paused and took another deep breath. With her knees shaking and hands trembling, she hoped she could perform her part in this presentation without losing her composure and embarrassing herself.
Mayor Vandeford stepped back and Jessie walked over to stand beside Cameron. His blue eyes fastened on hers and she couldn't seem to break the contact.
The Doctor Wears A Stetson (Contemporary Western Romance) Page 15