by Hall, Marie
Blue eyes search mine. “Lili, I can’t tell you what tomorrow will bring, but I can tell you that right now… I’m not going anywhere. I don’t want to go anywhere.” He touches my temple. “I’ve been wanting to ask since the day I met you,” he starts.
“Yeah?”
“Your eyes. Where’d you get them?”
Blinking my lashes, I ask. “You like them?”
“I think they’re fucking gorgeous.”
And maybe the language is a little crass, but my stomach twirls and dances at the blunt honesty of his answer. “My father is Spanish. Literally from Spain, many Spanish descend from European stock. I got my eyes from him.”
He grabs my face. “Then that’s one good thing I can say about him.”
Setting my cup down, I gather every ounce of courage I possess and slowly close the last few inches between us. Not because of him, because of myself. Because I’m afraid if I don’t give myself a second to say this is all right, this is okay, and exactly what I want, I’ll bolt like I did the last time.
Right before I close my eyes, I see his pupil’s dilate.
The kiss is soft. Unsure and exploratory.
Until he moans.
Or maybe it’s me.
All I know is my body’s on fire. Hard fingers dig into my thighs then tug me against his warm, muscular body.
I wrap my leg around his waist as his hand slides slowly up my own, under the swell of my breast and then he’s cupping me.
Here I am surrounded by strangers, letting a guy grope me, looking like any other groupie. But I’m not. Because this is Ryan and this is the moment I’ve been waiting my entire life for.
The perfect kiss.
His lips are so warm, gentle and then his tongue is gliding along the seam of mine. I part them with a moan, which only seems to spur him on.
Growling, he shoves in and ahh… it’s so good.
Intense.
Crazy.
Passion.
My fingers twine through the curly ends of his hair, tugging gently on the strands. Our tongues twirl, moving in a rhythm as old as time itself. Our kiss is so raw and wild that our teeth keep knocking against one another, his tongue is twirling inside my mouth, running along my lip, my gums, twisting with my own and I my head is spinning. My body is shaking, heat zips through my thighs, settles into the bundle of nerves at the center of me and I moan, loud and long. It’s never been like this, no kiss has ever made me this insane, this desperate.
“You taste so good,” he moans, “like strawberry candy, and…” he kisses me on the neck, leaving a wet imprint, “beer.”
“Beer?!” Giggling, I slap his chest, taking a second to gather myself-- to breathe through the trembles wracking my muscles. My core aches for him; my body is like a live wire. Breathe on me and I’m pretty sure I’ll come, right here, right now.
His grin is cocky, so masculine and sure of himself it makes my toes curl, especially because he flexes his chest muscles, turning the already solid flesh rock hard.
“I bet you’re ripped underneath this shirt.” I tug on the sleeve of it.
“Woman,” his voice cracks, “you make me crazy.”
I’ll admit, hearing those words, it shoots a heady thrill through me. Empowers me. I’m so much smaller than him, but at the moment I know I’m the one holding the power.
“Get a room,” Alex’s voice cuts through the lust filled haze we’ve steeped ourselves in.
Casting him a dirty look, I flip him the bird. “Way to ruin a perfect moment, Alex.”
“Perfect, huh?” Ryan growls in that smooth whisky voice of his I’m coming to love, “I like the sound of that.”
“Glad to see you two lovebirds have decided to kiss and make-up. But please, spare me the encore.” Alex reaches around me and grabs a cup, then heads for the beer cooler.
“Ass.” Ryan throws an empty cup at his head.
Alex swats it away, chuckling as he wanders back out into the crush.
We laugh at the same time. Leaning my head against his, I nod toward the dance floor. “Do you want to dance?”
“Yeah, I don’t… do that.” He says, rubbing his hand over his hair, messing it up further.
Which I love. I love his slightly messy look, actually there’s not a lot about him I don’t like. Patting his hair into some semblance of order, I shrug. “Baby, I’m Latina. We make you guys look good. All you have to do is stand there and look pretty.”
Complexion gone ruddy, his smile’s huge. “Is that so?”
Hopping off the counter, I hold my hand out for his. “Mmhhmm. It’s encoded in our DNA. Didn’t you learn that in school?”
An electrical charge of anticipation flares through me the moment he takes my hand. But I’m not lying, I can dance my ass off.
The room is thick with bodies, I’m bumping into and being bumped into by people, but I never tear my eyes from his.
When I find a spot with just enough room, I plant my hands on his shoulders and lean in, “Remember, stand and look pretty.”
I nibble the corner of his ear and smirk when his Adam’s apple bobs.
Then I let the music take me, finding the rhythm in the bass beat. Swishing my hips, I roll them across his, grinning when his hands cup my ass. Running mine up my body, then I trickle my fingers through my hair, making sure to swish it under his nose, already knowing how much he likes it. He never seems to want to stop touching the strands.
My heart threatens to beat out of my chest when he starts moving, gyrating himself into me. I feel his hardness, and a part of me desperately wants to turn around, take his hand and guide him upstairs, but I’m not ready for that.
So I dance, moving my body on his the way I wish I could behind closed doors.
Eventually I stop thinking altogether.
I jump, I laugh, I live.
***
Ryan
The way she moves.
It’s like sex and it’s driving me nuts.
But it’s more than the sex, it’s her. Liliana. I never want this night to end. Want to stay like this forever, pause this moment and live in it every day for the rest of my life.
I still can’t believe we’re here.
In the car I could have sworn it was over before it’d ever even begun.
I touch her, move with her, and something dark and deep inside of me feels lighter. She’s so beautiful and every guy in the room knows it.
They keep looking at us, eyeing me like they can’t figure out what she’s doing with me.
I don’t know either.
When she’d said she was scared in the kitchen, for a second I’d wanted to vomit. All the ugliness churned up like a frothing cesspit, reminding me I’m tainted, dirty, not good enough for someone like her.
But I’d also lied, the demons aren’t gone.
They’re still there, they’re here right now. Nipping at my heels and telling me I’m disgusting, and the second she finds out she’ll hate me forever. Never want me in her life again.
Desperate, I grab her hips harder, grinding myself on her, forcing myself to forget, to live only in the now, in the beauty of her smile, her sexy eyes, and the silky movement of her body.
Terror tries to clamp hold of my insides… she can never know who I really am. I’ll treat her so good she’ll never wonder or care. I’ll make her forget she’d ever met the darker side of me and maybe, if I’m lucky, I’ll forget too.
Chapter 11
Liliana
I don’t know how long we dance, but the sun is coming up before we finally decide to head home.
And guilt tears at my insides. My mother is probably really worried, I’m grown, but she’s still my mom.
Excusing myself, I head out to the car, holding the straps of my heels in my hands while I dial home. It rings once before she picks up.
“Mama?”
“Mija?” she sounds sleepy, her voice echoes slightly. They’d installed a new device into her bed last month, one that at the pu
sh of a button will allow her to answer the phone, but it puts all calls on speaker, which means it feels a little like talking through a tunnel.
“Mama, I’m so sorry. I lost track of time and--”
“No worries, mami. Alex called me a couple hours ago, said you were having fun and not to worry, he’d take good care of you.”
Heart going all melty, I look up at the boys standing on the stoop. Alex is rubbing sleep from his eyes and yawning loudly. Soundlessly, I mouth ‘thank you’ at him. Giving me the thumbs up, he winks.
Ryan smiles at me.
“Are they being good to you?”
I think maybe I’m falling in love. Yes, I adore them. I feel like I’ve known them my whole life… so many thoughts flood my head. But I don’t want to have this talk over the phone. “Yes. How’s Javi?”
She yawns, making me want to join in.
“Oh, you know… fine. Ade probably read thirty comics to him before he finally fell asleep. He’s still sleeping. You don’t have to come home yet.”
I smirk. “Mama, I’m surprised at you. Are you telling me to be a delinquent?”
“Oh please.” I hear the smile in her voice. “If anyone has learned their lesson about sex and children, I think it would be you. Besides, look at is as catching up on lost time. You’re young, be young. Go have breakfast. We’ll be here.”
Ryan comes up to me then, wrapping his arm across my shoulder. I lean into him, feeling secure and ridiculously giddy.
“Breakfast?” he whispers and I nod. “That your mom?”
I nod again.
“Tell her I said hi.”
“Mama, Ryan says hi.”
“Oh, I like that boy. Tell him I said hi and tell him he shouldn’t be such a stranger.”
“Okay, Mama.” I point to the phone with an apologetic smile.
He kisses the top of my head.
“Okay, go then. You don’t want to be talking to your mama when there’re two good looking guys with you. Not cool, right?”
I snort. “Yo te quiero, mami.”
She blows me a kiss and then the line goes dead.
“Did I ever tell you that I think Spanish is the sexiest language in the world?” Ryan tugs on my silver halter top, running his fingers along my stomach, making it dip and dive and swirl with crazy, hot emotions.
Alex sticks a finger in his mouth and acts like he’s ready to puke. “I’ve had about enough of this. Get me home, man, I’ve got a massive hangover looming.”
Kissing my cheek, Ryan leans over and opens the door for me. Slipping in, I thank him.
Grumbling, Alex slides into the back seat, slumping forward and not bothering to latch his seatbelt. “I’m gonna hurl.”
“Don’t do it in the car. Stick your head out the window or something,” Ryan mumbles and starts the car.
“I’m not a dog, dude,” Alex moans louder and grabs his skull.
“No, but you are a baby,” I can’t help chiming in.
Giving me the evil eye, he groans. “You’re lucky I like you.”
A second later Ryan looks at me and says, “Sorry. Wanted to take you out to breakfast, but I don’t think he’s gonna make it.”
I shake my head. “That’s okay. I guess you can just take me home.”
“What about breakfast at my place? I’ll cook for you.”
“You can cook?”
“Yeah,” he tosses me a flirty grin, “it’s encoded in my DNA.”
I laugh, remembering I’d said the same thing about my dancing.
“He’s not lying either,” Alex cracks open an eye, “his mom’s a chef.”
I turn to say something to Ryan, but instantly think better of it. He’s silent again, staring at the road with a hard intensity, but it’s the white knuckled grip that makes me realize Alex had somehow hit a nerve.
I wish I knew what he was hiding, but then again, maybe I don’t want to know. Sometimes the wounds run too deep, and they’re ugly and painful, and worse than you could ever imagine.
Somehow, I’m pretty sure that’s the case with Ryan.
So I pat his knee, over and over again until his fingers relax and the vein in his neck no longer stands erect from clenching his teeth.
His mouth’s tipped down and the light that’d sparkled in his eyes all night is gone. This is new, we’re on the precipice and intuitively I know that the only way to reach him isn’t to demand he open up, but to approach like I would a stray dog-- with a gentle hand and a loving touch.
He doesn’t look at me, but he grabs my hand and holds on as if for dear life all the way back to his apartment.
***
Ryan
Grabbing a carton of egg whites, a bag of spinach, some mushrooms, and cheese I make her an omelet.
It’s just her and I. Alex had walked inside, grabbed two motrin’s, drank them down with some juice and locked himself into his room to sleep it off.
Leaning over my shoulder, her breasts pressing into my back, she sniffs and then moans. “Mmm… I love omelets.”
And I all I want to do is say screw it, fling the pan into the sink and take her to my bed. It’s a test of wills to stay and not react.
“I’m sorry I don’t have real eggs,” I mutter, shifting, trying to get my erection to go down, not be quite so noticeable.
She lays a gentle hand on my arm and my body runs cold. This is harder than anything I’ve done in a long time. Pretend like I don’t want this, her, now. I don’t just want to have sex with her either, I want to know her, consume her, make her mine in every way so she’ll never forget, never look back and wonder if she’d made the right choice tonight.
But tossing her over my shoulder will only turn her into every other woman I’ve ever brought home and she’s different. She doesn’t deserve to be treated like just another easy lay.
Tonight something changed between us. Something huge and impossible and I don’t want to blow it. So I clench my teeth and act like her touch isn’t driving me insane.
“I’ve never had a guy cook for me. In fact,” she walks around me, “I’ve never had anyone other than Ade cook for me. You have no idea how much I’m loving this right now.”
“You know, a guy can get used to these kinds of compliments.”
Folding the eggs over the filling, I gesture for her to bring the plates.
The egg splits apart as I slide it on.
She laughs, the sound so open and light that it almost hurt’s to hear.
“Encoded in your DNA, huh?”
“Pft,” I drop the pan in the sink and then grabbing two forks, head toward the table, “I never said it would look pretty, only that it would taste good.”
“Hmm, we’ll see.”
I love the way she constantly challenges me. Sick, but true. I’m not one of those guys that feels emasculated by it, I like that she wants me to prove myself, because it makes me want to do it, reach deep inside myself and be the best.
Sitting, I push one of the forks toward her. “Well?”
Stabbing the egg, she tears off a piece and then looking me straight in the eye, slips it in. It’s one of the most erotic sights I’ve ever seen-- the way her mouth curls around the food, how her tongue slips out, teasing the crumbs inside, and the kittenish purr that falls from her lips when she swallows.
“Yummy. So,” she hikes up a leg on the chair, flashing a long expanse of thigh and my mouth goes completely dry, “where’s yours?”
“You’re a tease, Liliana.” I grab my fork and slice into the other half.
Her smile turns serious, but her gaze stays soft. “Does it bother you? I feel so free around you, like I’ve known you my whole life. Like I can be myself.”
Breathe in. Breathe out.
Pretend you don’t want her.
Don’t need her.
I swallow my bite. “I want you to feel like that with me.”
“I had a really great time tonight.”
I keep waiting for the impatience, the hurried tension I alwa
ys feel when I invite a woman over, the need for her to get out of my house. To leave me in peace so I don’t have to keep seeing her face, keep smelling her scent.