“I don’t know what you mean,” she said. While her father was not right next to her, he was close enough that she felt she needed to maintain some formality.
“I know Adelaide. I can see her feelings. I know you can as well. To dangle that in front of her is not kind, Thea.”
“Everyone deserves to be with someone they can love, Casimir,” she said, turning to him. “I am merely trying to help that along.”
“You’re fighting a battle you are not equipped to wage. Love has nothing to do with this.”
“What happened to hold onto hope until the end?” She gazed out at the room, refusing to look at him.
“I will hold onto hope until I take my last breath,” he said quietly. “But I think your efforts to change his mind, and change your fathers will not work. I see your sister suffering for it.”
“I will not give up hope,” she said mulishly. “And until I see all hope gone, I see no reason for everyone to be suffering at all times.”
Casimir shrugged. “It’s your sister. I understand your thoughts, but in the end…I am not sure you do her a kindness.”
Thea didn’t answer. She didn’t know what to say. Finally, she spoke. “I miss you.” Her voice rose barely above a whisper.
“And I you. I think of our last walk together.”
She knew he didn’t refer to the walk that afternoon in the garden, but the walk in the forest. Where they had kissed.
“I would stroll in those environs again,” Casimir said. She could hear the longing in his voice.
“As would I, my lord, but my chamber is most…crowded these days.” Thea still didn’t look at him. She was afraid someone would see everything in her eyes. “Know that walk…” She couldn’t finish, and she looked down at the table.
“I love you, Thea.” Casimir spoke in a whisper. His lips barely moved. “Always. You know that, do you not?”
She nodded. “Indeed I do, my lord.” She raised her voice. Some of Sebastian’s knights were approaching. “I have no doubts that you wish me nothing but happiness.”
“How could I not?” Casimir said in a normal tone. He smiled at the knights. After a moment, they nodded to him. “You have made the wisest choice.”
“I have, have I not?” The thought of who her choice was made her smile. “My father has taught me well.”
Casimir laughed. “I believe he has taught you too well. What are simple princes to do when pitted against one of Aland’s daughters?”
Thea was right in assuming her father paid mind to her conversations, for he joined in from a few seats away when Casimir spoke.
“Hope for the best, Prince Casimir,” Aland said with a laugh. “Thea, my dear, I will ask you to show Ulric to his chamber when we are ready to retire. Will you do so?”
“Of course, Father. The one closest to the doors?”
“No. The one near the solarium. He needs to be able to know what goes on. That will allow for him to hear all within your chambers without disturbing you or your sisters.”
“Who will keep him to his room, Father?” Thea struggled to keep the anger from her voice.
“His honor as a prince,” Aland said flatly. He met Thea’s eyes, and both glared at one another. “Do as I say.” Without waiting for a response, he turned away from her.
Thea was so angry she couldn’t speak. He was worried about their reputation, and then he put a man in the middle of their chambers with no one to watch over him? Ulric could say anything he chose should he succeed, and while she and her sisters could speak to the contrary, the words would be out there.
What was her father thinking?
“Princess Thea? Are you all right?”
Thea started. Casimir was looking intently at her, a question on his face.
“I am sorry, Casimir, I wasn’t attending. Yes. I am fine. Just lost in thought momentarily.”
He leaned back, not speaking. “What is it?” He asked quietly.
“I was considering the logistics of this evening. I have not had a chance to think on them until now.”
She could see that her answer made no sense to him. Much as she loved him, she was in no mood to explain. She knew, from her father plopping Ceridwen’s ladies in the rooms each night that everyone other than she and her sisters stayed asleep. She felt certain that Ulric would as well. He’d have no chance to see or hear anything. She still routinely stomped around in front whatever lady was on duty at night, and none ever woke up. So Ulric was doomed even before he began.
Her anger at her father’s decision spread to the underlying anger at Catrin. Ulric was as good as dead. He didn’t even have a chance. She couldn’t let him just walk to his death this way.
“Father, a word if I may?”
Aland turned to her, annoyance plain. “Yes?”
“What have the ladies-in-waiting told you?”
Whatever he’d been expecting, that wasn’t it. She could see the surprise on his face. “What do you mean?”
She struggled not to smile. He didn’t even know what she was referring to. It wasn’t wise to bait the king, even less so in a hall full of the members of his court. “I apologize for not being clear. I am wondering what Mother’s various ladies who are stationed in our chambers nightly have told you. As they are there by your orders, I felt certain they reported to you.” She lowered her eyes because she didn’t want him to think she was challenging him when he was already in a less than pleasant humor with her.
Aland didn’t immediately answer. Thea looked up, hoping she wasn’t consigning herself to his anger.
“They have told me that they see all of you ready yourselves for bed and then retire. They report no other activity until morning.”
Thea could tell he’d chosen his words carefully. “So what, father, do you expect Ulric to discover? The ladies of the bedchamber have seen nothing amiss.”
“I expect that he will uncover the mystery.” Aland’s voice fell flat.
“No, you don’t,” she said softly. “You have no more hope of him discovering anything than I do.”
Aland looked at her, not speaking. His nostrils flared, which meant he was angry. Thea didn’t care. Ulric was a popinjay, but that was no reason to let him walk to the scaffold.
“I have made the offer. Ulric has accepted the challenge.”
“Father,” she said, placing her hand on his under the table, out of sight from the court. “We don’t have to do this. Not like this. He’s a fool, but that is no reason to condemn him. If it were, the bodies would be stacked along the castle walls.”
He snorted briefly. Then his face settled back into the stern look. “I do not go back on what I have said, Thea.” He made to turn back to her mother.
Thea looked around. The musicians were playing. Ulric sat with a group of young men who were laughing together. Her sisters moved about, mingling with their court and the guests. . There was a feeling of gaiety, of hopefulness in the hall. No one was looking at her and her father talking. She glanced at Casimir. He’d thoughtfully turned away from her, allowing her and Aland a modicum of privacy.
Thea put her hand on his arm to stop him from ending the conversation. “I don’t want him to die, Father. That’s exactly what is going to happen. We cannot stop that if we leave things as they are. I know you. You don’t want to put him to death.
Aland stilled. She could see that her mother had heard part of her words. Thea hoped she’d not gone too far.
He faced her. “No, I do not. I do not relish ending the life of anyone. As king, I have laid out the parameters of the challenge. Ulric has accepted. I cannot change things now, Thea. Much as I might wish otherwise.”
“You could stop this foolish challenge! You could say, I don’t think you’ll succeed!” Her desperation made her insistent.
Aland shook off her arm. “You forget your place, daughter.” With that, he gave her his back, ending the conversation.
Thea sat very still. There was nothing more she could do. She couldn’t tell anyone
. She couldn’t warn Ulric. There was nothing she could do. This poor, foolish peacock would lose his head by the end of the week.
“Thea? What is it?” Casimir asked her again.
“I can’t save him,” she said quietly, leaning back in her chair. She felt dead inside. Up until this moment, her father’s challenge hadn’t seemed real. She’d thought she could stave off disaster.
But she couldn’t. This is what Catrin meant, that those who ruled were truly alone. There was not a single thing she could do without endangering others.
“Is that your place?”
Her head whipped towards him. “What do you mean?”
Casimir shrugged. “Your father has been clear. Succeed or die. It’s a choice that most men do not get to make—the manner of their death. Ulric has chosen, and he will succeed, or he will die.”
“That’s something good in your eyes?”
“There is nothing wrong with being willing to die for something…or someone,” he answered, giving her a look that seared her and then looking down at the table.
“I would not ask it of anyone.” Her voice was firm. She hoped that Casimir was not thinking of this as an answer.
“It’s not a matter of being asked. It’s deciding what is worth the risk. Ulric has done so. I respect that.”
“I don’t! It’s a foolish choice!” Her anger at her inability to help this situation crept into her voice, which wasn’t fair to Casimir. She realized he didn’t know that Ulric didn’t stand a chance.
“But it’s his choice,” Casimir emphasized. “The freedom of choice is important. Ulric is not an heir. He will have to live under a sibling. We assume they get along, but who’s to say? No one knows what really goes on with families. He’s taking a chance that he can change the course of his life, which, up until now, probably wasn’t an option.”
She thought on his words. He was right. Very few members of royal families had much choice. She was the one chosen to rule. Her father was generous in allowing her, up until this point, to remain unmarried. Normally, she would not have been given such a choice. She hadn’t thought about it from the perspective of a younger son.
“Be that as it may, and I understand what you are saying, I think win or die a foolish and extreme set of choices.”
“Life is harder as a man.”
Thea choked on the inappropriate giggle that bubbled up her throat at that starkly delivered bit of dark humor. “You cannot be serious, Casimir! You can go where you wish, do as you wish, you are not held back by threat of reputation! Things that would ruin me would make you more a man!”
“You can marry better. My brothers would not have a chance with you, Thea. You are a Crown Princess. They will never be able to be more than the younger sons of a king. Your sisters can marry the heir to a throne. My brothers cannot.”
“You think that is why Ulric is here? Even though he might die?”
“It’s the only way he will get a chance at you.”
Thea looked at him, bemused. “In case you have forgotten, I am betrothed.” She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. That fact created one of her larger problems.
“As I believe I have shared,” Casimir said, giving her his own scathing look, “Nothing is certain until the vows are exchanged. Yes, you are betrothed, but a prince who has defied death? He would be most appealing.” He shrugged again. “I know you are a strong woman, and you will be a strong queen, but men and women do not think the same.”
“While that may explain his desire, I cannot see the sense in it.” Thea huffed. “The odds of succeeding are, at best, equal to the odds of death. I care not for such odds.”
“Your concern for him speaks well of you. Are you sure you do not find him appealing?” Casimir leaned in, gently teasing her out of her bleakness. “He has held his own with both myself and your betrothed. He’s not dull witted.”
“Stop it, pest. I am not fickle. Once my heart is given, it is given.” She couldn’t look at him when she said the words. She was afraid her heart would spill right out of her eyes.
“When can you go for a walk again?” Casimir whispered.
“Are you mad?” She lowered her voice. “We have had a lady-in-waiting constantly on duty. Now we’ll have a prince. There is no way.”
“I need to see you, Thea. I need to.” The teasing was gone, replaced by a quiet desperation.
“I know. I feel the same,” she said. “But I cannot see a way.”
“A way to what?” Sebastian had returned from dancing to stand in front of where Thea and Casimir sat.
“A way out of this should Prince Ulric…stumble.” Thea looked at Sebastian directly. “I fear such an outcome.”
“Are you so concerned for him?” Sebastian didn’t try to hide his irritation.
“Are you not?” Thea didn’t hold back either. “Do you wish his death?”
“Not at all. He is a man and has made his decision. A man is made for risks,” Sebastian said. “Don’t you agree, Casimir?” He grinned, his face mocking.
“Absolutely, Bash. I told the lady the very same thing. A man, particularly a prince, must make his own way in the world.”
“You’re both fools,” Thea said, rising. Ignoring their looks of surprise, she touched her father’s shoulder. “My lord, may I retire to our chambers to ensure Prince Ulric’s quarters are ready?”
“Of course,” Aland waved lazily at her as though he hadn’t been snarling at her earlier. “Take one of your ladies with you. Marek!” He looked around, and Marek appeared from the shadows.
“Sire?” Marek asked, leaning forward.
“Take the Lady Thea and her lady to her chambers. Let no one in until I arrive.”
Marek bowed, and stood back to let Thea pass.
She gave a scathing look to both Casimir and Sebastian, and swept past them. Lisette came hurrying forward as she saw Thea leaving. The members of the court bowed as she passed, and without looking to the left or the right, Thea left the hall.
“My lady, how may I assist you?” Lisette asked. In an undertone she said, “What is wrong?”
“Men,” Thea said, with impatience. “I do not understand how they think!”
Lisette laughed. “No one does, Thea, not even them. Slow down! There is no need to rush!”
“I can’t. I want some time alone before this farce gets underway,” Thea said. She didn’t slow her pace even though she could feel Lisette, with her shorter stride, hurry to keep up with her.
She swung open the doors to their chambers and walked in. Without breaking stride, she went to the chamber off the solarium her father had designated. Taking a candelabra from the solarium, she went in and lit candles. Once she’d put the candelabra back, she stood at the door and looked out into the solarium.
Through all this, Lisette had just watched, making no comment. “What are you about, Thea? I can sense you’re holding something in. You can tell me.”
Thea looked at her. “No, Lisette, I cannot. I wish I could be unburdened, but I cannot share with anyone. I don’t know what is going on,” she crossed her fingers behind her back, sending up a prayer for forgiveness for lying to her best friend. “I don’t feel good about this. You know Father has had one of Mother’s ladies in here every night?”
Lisette nodded, but didn’t speak.
“What do you hear from that? What have they been saying?”
Lisette suddenly looked uncomfortable. Thea stepped closer to her. “Do not withhold. Tell me. Even if it’s bad.”
“The report is that the ladies all fall asleep. No one was being honest at first, but now they are. The thought is…” she broke off.
“What?”
“That they are being given a sleeping draught,” Lisette almost whispered. Thea could tell she didn’t like saying the words aloud.
“Is my father aware of this?”
Lisette shook her head vigorously. “Oh, no! No one has told him. I believe that Lady Tremaine is afraid to tell him. It would fall on her, as
the head of the Ladies of the Bedchamber. Who wants to admit that they are not doing their duty? Not that such has kept her from talking to others,” Lisette finished scornfully. “She’s not fit for the honor your mother accords her.”
Thea sighed. “Worse and worse, isn’t it?”
“Thea, do they fall asleep?”
“I have seen them in the middle of the night, and yes, they are asleep,” Thea said carefully. “But not due to any action on the part of my sisters or I.”
“I wouldn’t think so,” said Lisette in a normal tone. “But you asked what people were saying.”
“It’s worse than I thought.” She turned back to look at Ulric’s room. Over her shoulder, she said, “It’s only going to get worse, Lisette. I can feel it.”
In an uncharacteristic move, Lisette stood next to her, and put an arm around her. Thea rested her head on the smaller girl’s shoulder. What she wouldn’t give to tell all, but she couldn’t risk Lisette.
She stood upright, squaring her shoulders. “Well, then. Let’s no longer delay. Would you let Marek know he can search our chambers? Then I am going to lie down, and if you would, let the king know that Ulric’s chambers are prepared?”
“Will you be all right?” Lisette gave her shoulders a squeeze.
“No, but there’s no helping that, is there?” Thea couldn’t stop the bitterness. “We can only go forward.”
Lisette nodded and hurried from the room. Thea watched her, and then went into the solarium as Marek walked through.
“You are alone, my lady.”
“Thank you, Marek. When His Majesty comes, will you let him know that you have checked, and I am resting while I await him?”
Marek nodded and left. Thea went to the sleeping room and lay on her bed. Running from snide princes all afternoon and the verbal fencing this evening had worn her out.
She’d just close her eyes for a moment.
***
Thea woke in a room not her own. She wasn’t in bed any longer. She stood in what appeared to be the circular tower room where she’d initially met Catrin. Yes, it was. She spied the table that was curved to fit right up to the wall. She looked up. Unlike the last time, sunlight streamed in through the slits at the top of the room. That meant that Catrin had to be here as well.
Thea's Tale (Sisters Of The Curse Book 1) Page 19