by Dannika Dark
The fact that he was roguishly handsome made me hate him even more.
“Do you like watching, lass?” he asked in a growly voice, his head turned away.
I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that he knew someone had walked in on him, but I was curious how he knew it was me.
Christian turned his head, and I quickly looked away before he could charm me into doing something I’d later regret. He said nothing, and his gaze nailed me to the floor as his body responded to someone watching him, his rhythm becoming more frenetic. The girl beneath him cried out, and for just a brief second, I imagined myself changing places with her.
It seemed like ages since a man had made me feel that way. I shifted my thoughts to distract myself from thinking about Christian in a sexual way. Cleaning a toilet, the smell of sauerkraut, men in lederhosen…
“You got what you wanted, Christian. You’re solo from here on out.”
“Not at the moment,” he said with a dark smirk.
I turned away, facing the doorjamb, but I could see him out of the corner of my eye through the crack in the door. I lowered my voice to a whisper so the girl wouldn’t hear. “I’m calling on that favor tonight.”
“Stay there, lass,” he murmured to his companion.
Christian appeared at the door, and the crack revealed the left side of his body from his eye to the flap of his unzipped jeans, which he’d attempted to pull up. He smelled like sex. “What’s the favor?”
“I don’t want Viktor to scrub my memory. If he asks you, tell him you did it. If he asks someone else, then make sure they don’t come near me.”
“And you trust me with that kind of request?”
“I have no alternative. So?”
“Aye. I’ll not take your memories. If this favor will remove me from your debt, I’ll make sure of it.” He stroked the vein in his neck, and his fangs descended. “Care for a drink, precious?”
I jerked the doorknob and slammed the door.
Why did seeing him with another woman have an effect on me? A sickly mixture of desire and hatred. Christian was worlds apart from the kind of man I found attractive—not only physically, but also personality-wise. The things he said when he opened his mouth should have instantly turned me off, but I found myself even more curious about him. In many ways, he was like every other Vampire I’d staked. But he’d also carried me to his car and covered me with his jacket. Ripping his shirt to make a tourniquet had been necessary to stop the bleeding, but why had he taken the extra measure to keep me warm? He’d also carried me to his bed but made no sexual advances even though I was drenched in blood like some kind of Popsicle stick for Vampires. Maybe I was more curious to know if he really hated me as much as he professed.
The sooner I forgot about him, the better.
I made a beeline for the front exit, passing by a table of men on the right who caught my attention. I was the kind of girl who noticed things—especially someone watching my every move.
It was Cyrus, the man who’d attacked Niko and me in the alley with his goons. He raised his glass and gave me a sardonic smile. When I glowered at him, his table erupted with laughter and he took a slow sip, resuming conversation as if I were inconsequential.
Outside, the streetlight cast a spell on the falling mist, the ethereal glow giving the appearance of a thin veil between two worlds. I pulled my hood over my head and circled around the right side of the building where I’d hidden my duffel bag in the alley. It took more than rejection to kill my spirit, but it was wounded. What did it take to get a leg up in life? The more I thought about my situation, the angrier I got.
“Let me go!” a young man shrieked.
I heard the familiar sound of physical blows—a skirmish up ahead. As I drew closer to the Dumpster, my heart thumped wildly. A bald-headed guy with rolls of skin behind his neck was straddling a man who might have been my age. With immortals, you could never tell. I didn’t look over twenty-five, and that was the age I’d forever remain even when I was three thousand. Sometimes you could sense a person’s true age in their eyes, and other times it had to do with how submissive and fearful they were in dangerous situations. This kid was new, and I picked up on his Mage energy. He was flaring, perhaps hoping that would lead someone to help him.
All it would do was attract the wrong kind of attention in a dark alley.
Like the juicer on top of him, gripping his hands and drawing out his energy for a high.
The young man’s head bobbed in my direction, his eyes glazed over, his nose a bloody mess.
Something came over me like I’d never felt before, even when taking out a lowlife. I felt rage.
Pure. Raw. Rage.
As I stood witness to the evil that thrived in our world, I wanted to kill every corrupt Breed in Cognito.
I wanted to be the Shadow for real.
Chapter 20
As I approached the two men, I drew my push dagger and then sliced it across the juicer’s back. “Get up, you filthy bastard.”
He roared and launched to his feet, raking me over with his heavy-lidded eyes.
Men like him deserved to die—deserved to suffer as their victims had. Why had I wasted time with only the most nefarious men when corruption came in lesser degrees? These men should be stamped out before they hurt more innocents.
He was high on Mage light, and that made him especially dangerous. I’d never been a fighter; I just knew how to move fast and get the job done. Still, the possibility of failure hovered as I took note of the openness of the alley, shifting my stance in search of a good angle so the Mage wouldn’t flash out of my grasp.
Which he did.
The juicer flashed beside me and put me in a headlock, seizing my wrist with his other hand. He squeezed until a sharp pain radiated through the bones in my wrist, but I refused to drop my dagger. I adjusted my grip on the handle and then rotated my hand in a circle until the blade slashed his arm. With nothing to stanch the bleeding, rivulets of blood ran down his arm, causing him to loosen his bruising grip on my wrist. I bit into his other arm and stomped my foot, seeking his instep with the heel of my boot in hopes he’d let go of my neck.
Tiny pinpoints of light flashed around me like pulsing stars.
We struggled, and when my blade pierced through his fleshy thigh, he let go. I staggered forward—gasping for air—and just as I pivoted on my heel, he struck me in the face with a closed fist.
Blood filled my mouth, the metallic taste triggering my fangs to descend. I quickly concealed them, relying on the element of surprise when he got close enough. All I could do was stand my ground and wait for him to advance.
The juicer paced around me with cool confidence despite a slight limp from the deep puncture wound on his right thigh. He reminded me of a cowboy getting ready for a gunfight.
“You’re not exactly seasoned,” he said. “Didn’t your Creator teach you how to defend yourself?”
I wasn’t concealing my energy, so he knew what I was.
Or thought he knew.
He flicked a glance at my dagger, and I tightened my grip on the T-shaped handle, keeping it close to my body. When he flashed at me the second time, I spun around—anticipating his attack from behind—and sank the blade into his chest. It wasn’t a stunner, so it wouldn’t paralyze him, but it would be painful enough to slow him down. Or so I thought. He pulled out the blade and tossed it across the alley, then gripped my neck with both hands.
Two long blades crossed in front of his throat from someone standing behind him—someone I couldn’t see.
“Let her go or I’ll slice off your head two ways,” I heard Niko say.
The man held his hands up, surrendering.
Niko kept his swords crossed, the sharp blades flush against the man’s neck. “I’m going to turn around, and you’re going to turn with me. Once you’re facing the street, I want you to walk. If you look back, I’ll show no mercy. Is that clear?”
A small trickle of blood trailed down the man’s n
eck, and his eyes widened in terror. “Yes,” he said, his voice quavering.
I glanced behind me at the empty space where the victim had once been. He had already fled the scene. When Niko turned and lowered his weapons, the man slowly staggered out of sight.
Niko’s dark hood obscured most of his face, giving him a formidable appearance with his stature, his sharp instruments in hand. He waited quietly while I walked around him and collected my dagger.
“Would you have known if he turned around?” I asked.
He tucked the blades into their scabbards. “I would have seen a flicker in his color, but they never turn around.”
“How could you just let him go? He was a juicer. If I hadn’t caught him, he might have killed the other guy… and you just let him walk.”
“Is there a ladder in sight?”
I searched the shadows. “Behind you.”
“Follow me.”
We reached the roof, and a damp wind made me shiver. This was my sanctuary. Any high place made it feel as though all the miseries of life were beneath me and the heavens were within reach.
I approached the edge and straddled it, one leg hanging over.
Niko cautiously followed, kicking his foot out until it met with the ledge. He used his hands to feel the width, which was plenty wide enough to sit on. He sat with both feet on the roof and then drew his hood back. The wind picked up his long hair, making him look like a fictional hero in a comic book.
“I let him go because people deserve second chances. The rogues who wander the streets aren’t all as far gone as you believe; they’ve begun their journey down the wrong path, but who knows where they’ll end up?”
“He’s just going to victimize someone else.”
Niko rested his forearms on his knees, his crystal eyes looking ahead. “Can you kill them all? The higher authority won’t arrest juicers; there aren’t enough prisons to keep them in, so they have to concentrate on capturing the most nefarious men they can. Maybe your Creator didn’t explain how it works, but the growing human population keeps us from acquiring new land, and the higher authority doesn’t want to use up all that valuable property for prisons. Locking up immortals for what is deemed a lesser crime solves nothing. There are some things we simply have to turn a blind eye to.”
“I can’t.”
“Then stop the crime at hand, but don’t become the executioner. Juicing is the equivalent of theft, and if someone broke into your home and stole a television because they have an addiction they can’t control, do you feel it’s just to take their head?”
“Maybe it depends on how big the TV is.”
Niko smiled and drew in a deep breath. “Winter’s coming. I can feel it on the tip of my tongue. Maybe you should think about finding a way to earn an honest living. It will put shelter over your head and give you honor.”
“And who’s going to hire an illegal rogue? Anyhow, the Breed world is for people with specific talents. I don’t mean just the business owners and finance guys, but everyone else can use their gifts to barter, train, track, or advise. There’s no honor in mopping floors.”
He tipped his head to the side. “Have you considered approaching the Mageri and coming clean?”
I huffed out a laugh. “I’m illegal, and I’m also a crossbreed. Accepting me isn’t the issue so much as the possibility that they might kill me after discovering what I’ve been doing. They’ll think I’m a liability. I’ve heard stories about how they’ve put down new Learners who turned rogue before becoming independent from their Creators. They scare me.”
Niko turned to face me, gingerly hanging his left leg over the wall. “Throw yourself upon their mercy. Trust that they will make good judgment and assign a Ghuardian to mentor you.”
A Ghuardian was a person assigned by the Mageri to train a Mage who was without a Creator. The name was old and spelled differently since it had a unique meaning among them.
I shook my head. “I can’t trust anyone with my life. No one wants me, Niko. Not unless they have a hidden agenda. I can’t put my life in the hands of someone who doesn’t value it.”
“Perhaps you’re looking at this all wrong. You’re waiting to be chosen by fate, by life, by others.” He reached out and touched my forehead, then trailed his fingertips down my brow, nose, mouth, and chin—seeing my face with his hand. “But it’s you who needs to do the choosing in life. You won’t always make the right choice, but that’s how we grow.” He lowered his arm and waited for a reply.
“I did. I asked Viktor, and he turned me away.”
Niko inclined his head. “You give up so easily. If you want to be a part of Keystone, then you must do something to work with us, not against. He’s not just looking for raw talent; he needs to know you have integrity. Show him you’re a team player who doesn’t need to always be the hero.”
If anyone else but Niko had said that to me, I might have tossed them off the roof. Instead, I stared down at the streetlights.
He gripped the ledge with his hands. “You tasted a different life with Keystone, and now you want it.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. No sense in denying the truth.
“It’s good to want things. Just make sure you understand what it is you’re really seeking. Darius was once a young Mage who was given more land than most young Learners. Maybe he misunderstood the gesture and assumed his Creator was impressed by material things, and that’s why he began extorting men for money. After he was stripped of his possessions—including the land—he probably felt like an inferior man. Years later, he can purchase any property he desires except for the one that matters. I’m certain his Creator shamed him for allowing that gift to slip through his irresponsible fingers.”
“He’s an evil man who kills humans. You can’t justify that.”
Niko sat up straight, his eyes seeming to look at mine. “That is true. But we’re not born evil. His desire to reclaim what he lost blinded him from making the right choices. Sometimes what we desire the most can change who we are, and it’s up to us to decide if that’s for better or worse. You must learn to control those desires so that you’re always on the right path, even if that means never attaining or holding on to the thing you want most.”
Niko’s words resonated in my head, and I considered the meaning. It was hard to ignore advice from someone as old as him, especially when he had nothing to gain from giving it freely.
“You told me to speak to Viktor, but now you’re saying I shouldn’t want to join Keystone?”
He swung his leg back onto the roof. “What I mean is that you can desire something without letting it be the force of every wrong decision to obtain it. If you want to be a member of Keystone, make sure you want it for the right reasons. But consider what you’ll do to reach that goal.”
The wind lifted my hair. “Darius has a chance of getting his land back if he keeps doing what he’s doing. Even if it’s wrong, he’s got a better shot than if he’d done nothing at all.”
“Look at what kind of man that’s made him into. Just imagine an alternate universe where he had made different decisions. Are you so sure he would have never reacquired it? Sometimes we have to relinquish those desires because we attach them to goals of no importance. Ambition can destroy you if you don’t learn to balance it with sacrifice.” Niko stood up and reached out for my hand. “Now put your big-girl panties on and make a choice.”
I reached for his hand, and he helped me up. “Big-girl panties?”
He laughed as we returned to the ladder. “Did I say that right? It can be a struggle to keep up with language when it changes so frequently. English isn’t my native tongue, but I’ve always found it colorful.”
“Thanks, Niko. You know… for not giving up on me.” I hesitated, still holding his hand. “Can I hug you?”
A blush tinted his brown cheeks.
I let go of his hand. “Sorry, that was a little weird.”
“Apologies. I’m usually not asked. People give hugs freely, or haven�
�t you heard?”
When he drew me into his arms, I wanted to weep against his shoulder like a child. It had been so long since anyone had hugged me—not since my father. I stepped back before he sensed my anguish over such a benign gesture.
Niko took my arm and we continued our leisurely stroll toward the ladder. “I was once as lost as you. Sometimes we have to be lost in order to find ourselves.”
“Viktor saved you?”
“No. It was long ago. I’ll walk you somewhere—a hotel.”
I stopped at the ledge. “I’m not leaving just yet. There’s something I need to do first.”
He bowed. “As you wish.”
When I saw he wasn’t following, I stopped at the top of the ladder. “You’re staying up here? Is it because of those guys in the bar?”
“It’s a night of celebration. Let Viktor know where I am. I’ll rejoin them when they’re ready to leave. It’s a nice evening, and I like the idea of sitting under the stars.”
I glanced up at heavy clouds aglow from the city lights. “There aren’t any stars.”
He smiled and looked skyward. “Clouds don’t make stars disappear; they only hide the brilliance of their light.”
“Stop being so profound. We might have to start writing those in fortune cookies and open up a store.”
Niko bowed, amusement dancing in his eyes when he looked up at me. “See you later, alligator.”
I smirked. “After a while, crocodile.”
I strutted through Flavors with purpose, grateful that Niko had shown up when he had. He didn’t just save me from a Mage who threatened to overpower me and juice my life, but he saved me from myself.
When I reached Viktor’s table, I sat in the vacant seat across from him. Claude was throwing darts, missing almost every one.
After a few beats, Blue and Gem stood up to leave, tapping Claude on the shoulder and coaxing him to follow. Aware that a Vampire could be listening in, I chose my words carefully so as not to mention Keystone.