by Elle Cross
I knew this sounded weird, but it was almost as if we all knew each other from Before. But I knew that wasn't right. They didn't look familiar to me at all.
I gathered my gear into my back pack like I always had as if it were any other ordinary day. Except this time, there was this feeling of either dread or anticipation that something was going to change.
I was going to choose hopeful anticipation.
My hands lingered over the books splayed on the dining table. Normally, I’d have closed the books, and placed them in their rightful place in the book shelf, yet I knew that they belonged with my dad where they could be used, and not collecting dust. A pang in my heart squeezed my chest.
I was tempted to bring dad’s scriptures to town with me at least, but he’d always zealously guarded them, and so I left all the books as they lay. It was almost as if Dad could come in at any moment, and get right back to where he had left off in his research. I smiled at the image.
The bit of paper with the coded cipher called to me among the scattered books, and I lifted it from where it laid on my mother’s notebook. Touching it now, I felt a sort of kinship, like this piece of paper connected me to my parents and the life we’d once lived.
I tucked that piece of paper in my pocket, as if I carried with me a bit of legacy.
We walked as a unit to the town and maybe because of the company or perhaps because of the circumstances but I was observing every sort of thing. Like how the grass seemed greener, and how I was able to hear more. Maybe it was just my imagination.
Every time I looked back, one of the men would be missing, only to re-appear a bit later. Creed was always there though, walking alongside me in casual conversation; he made it seem like he didn't know what was happening. Or rather, that he would let it go on without an explanation.
As we approached the town, Creed stopped me with a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Look, the townsfolk don't seem very trusting of strangers. They would probably look at me a little oddly if I were to walk in with you like this. You know?"
I did. And I kind of expected it. "Okay, so you just wanna hang out around here or what?" I really didn't care what he decided to do. He was grown, as was I. Neither of us needed babysitters and I had my dad to focus on.
He smiled then, and he looked more wolf than man. “Nah, I have something else in mind. Just stick to your normal routine. Pretend I’m not here. I got this.”
I blinked at him and how very aware I was of him. Pretend he’s not here? Okay, that’ll happen.
Walking into the town I let out a breath I didn’t realize I held. Thankfully, there wasn’t an attack that the town was recovering from overnight. Good. I didn't need to be emotionally distracted, not that I would have minded to help, but I really needed to concentrate on my dad.
I needed him to wake up and start spilling his secrets.
The parishioners who took care of the church greeted me, and I stiffened for a moment to see what they would say about Creed, but it was like they couldn’t see him. I wasn’t exactly a tall woman, but Creed was easily over six-feet tall and well-muscled. There was no way I was hiding him with my body, that was for damned sure.
I tried not to be self-conscious that I felt Creed at my back. How had he become invisible to the townsfolk? He said to pretend he wasn’t there, so could that be part of the reason why?
I was informed that my dad had been moved down to the basement, because it was cooler and offered more privacy. I thanked them and skipped down to the church basement, but slowed my pace when I heard raised voices.
"We can't put this off another night, Zorah. They gave us one day and one night to think about it. What will they bring tonight?"
"What do you mean? You cannot possible think to entertain their wishes, Gabriel! They cannot be trusted to keep their word!"
"But they can be trusted to keep their word about destroying this town. We were able to hold on, but just barely."
“And why do you think that was so? We were only able to do that because of the preacher's wards in the first place."
"If it weren't for the preacher, we wouldn’t have needed wards, and you know it." Gabriel's voice was lethal. I had never heard him speak like that before, let alone to his wife. And though I knew he wasn't really angry toward her, it was still unnerving to see that he would raise his voice at all.
I didn't know whether or not I was able to go back up the stairs without them hearing, or if I should just reveal myself to them. But I needed to know what they were talking about with the preacher remark and why he had implied that my dad was the reason why we needed the wards in the first place.
Creed’s intake of breath warned me that someone was coming. A moment later, Kirby bounded down the stairs.
"Hey, Soli, when'd you get here?" Kirby raised his hand for a high-five and I obliged him.
"Hey there, I literally just got here."
Zorah and Gabriel shuffled from where they were having their conversation around the bend. "Oh hey!" They had on their political face on. They looked between Kirby and me, trying to calculate what we were about. "Soli, how good it is to see you. Were you here to visit with your dad?"
"Yup. I was just chatting with Kirby a sec."
My answer seemed to put her at ease. She hadn't wanted me to have overheard them after all, and I didn’t blame her. No one wanted to be caught talking about anyone in a negative light.
But despite her discomfort, I really wanted to know the context of their conversation. I weighed it out in my mind, going back and forth about maybe bringing it up.
Oh hells, why not.
"Okay, forget it." I just spoke up right in the middle of Zorah's talk about the tomato gardens and making something like a chili cook-off or like a salsa taste-off to raise the community spirits, and it was the silliest thing considering what I'd just heard and the fact that my dad lay not a hundred feet away unconscious.
They had just been arguing over his body about agreeing to someone’s ransom demands—I could guess who was doing the demanding—and she had the nerve to talk about her fucking tomato garden?
I raised my hands in a stopping gesture. “Stop, okay, just stop talking. Whatever the hell you’re saying is pissing me off.”
Zorah looked at me like I was the one unhinged. Her eyes grew so large in shock that the whites of her eyes were the only things on her face that I could see. It was kind of hilarious just thinking about.
She was stock still, and so was the mayor. They were both looking at me like I just grew ten heads.
"Yeah, sorry, but I'm not really sorry. I'm not going to pretend that I heard nothing because I didn't. In fact, I totally heard you. You know, talking about my dad like he wasn't just lying there. So, are you going to explain yourself or what?"
Gabriel seemed to realize that he was allowed to talk. He coughed a little, and then started to speak in low, soothing tones, as if he was talking down a crazy person. "Okay so that may not have been the best part of the conversation to walk into, but hear me out, I have every respect for your dad. He has helped this community in the past."
I barked in laughter. "Helped this community? What you trying to do, get my vote? Mayor, my father has singlehandedly preached away Hellfire on numerous occasions and you're telling me that ‘he's helped out in the past?’ It's not like he was setting up bake sales."
Gabriel had his hands raised as if in surrender. "I get that Soli, which is why we fought hard for him to stay underground."
I blinked like he was saying crazy words. "What?"
Gabriel and Zorah shared a look. "The people from his past. They already knew he was here. They had found out that this was where he was going. I mean the fact that they tagged him with this tracer was probably obvious."
I had drifted over to my dad as Gabriel was talking. His normally dark face was ashen and gray. But it didn't look like he was breathing at all, but I knew he was alive. I could feel his pulse going. It was thready but there.
"What happened
here last night? What didn't you tell me?"
Gabriel and Zorah rubbed their faces, but it was Zorah who spoke. She looked bleak. "They took the children, Soli. Whatever children they could find, they took."
I blinked, stunned. “Who? Who was the person from the past? Who took these children?” Something told me it wasn’t the Reapers after all. They wouldn’t be so picky.
Zorah swallowed. “AEGIS. They’re the ones that started this whole thing. And, this is how they’re finishing it.”
I was stricken. Who would do this? Take children? I sat heavily onto a chair. I looked up at them. “You told me it was a Skoll attack. I should have known it was a lie. No one would have survived.”
Gabriel looked weathered and drawn, as if he’d aged years overnight. “There were Skolls. Only, they didn’t get into the compound. They were the distraction. They kept to the perimeter.”
Zorah added, "It could have been worse. It could have been so much worse, but there were those wolves at the perimeter."
I perked up to hear about wolves. "Wolves?"
Zorah nodded, her fingers twisted together. “Yes, wolves. It was nice to hear them. Just their wolf song was comforting to hear."
It always gave me a feeling of otherworldliness, but it wasn't really a bad thing I realized. It was more that I found the wolf song moving. Like it resonated with me somehow. "The wolves...helped?"
Zorah looked like she was going into her head space. "Yes, they helped. They used to be our guardians, before they were destroyed. Whatever the reason for them being here, I'm glad that they were timely.”
I had a feeling on why they may have been close by.
“The wolves drove the Skolls away, and that was when we noticed that we’d been attacked. From the inside." Zorah could no longer continue, whatever emotion she held back gripped her throat.
I wanted to shake the information from her. The knot that I held in my stomach uncoiled as the anger grew inside of me. "Tell me what this has anything to do with the abduction!” My voice was clear with conviction and purpose and I wanted my words to permeate into the very fiber of her being.
Zorah stood straight and still, her eyes glassy and unfocused as she addressed me. “AEGIS activated their spies. There were spies among us. One moment, they were our people, laughing and talking, and the next, they were like robots. Unyielding as they picked up our own and left.”
I blinked. “Who? Why? Where?” I didn’t know which I wanted her to answer first. “And you two were talking about my father. Why would they want him anyway? And how did they not see him if you all were so distracted?”
She bit her lip, and it was fascinating to see the normally stoic Zorah St. Clair upset. Silent tears spilled from her eyes. "I’m not sure child, maybe he wrapped himself in spells, but he had been overlooked when they had been trying to find him.
There was something else, though. Words that she kept behind her teeth, not allowing them to spill forth.
I needed those words. “There something else you need to say?” No Ms. Zorah. No Ms. Mayor. I didn’t know who this woman was, and I didn’t feel like lending her anymore respect until I did.
Her lips curled back as if straining against telling me. “The preacher...he’s not your father." Her breaths came in gasps, as if she exerted herself physically.
I looked at her like she was crazy. “I lived with the man my entire life. There are pictures of him holding me as a baby. Why are you lying?”
"He is your dad, that's true enough. He's the dad of your heart, but he isn't your father. You share no biological kinship with him."
Memories of childhood swam through me. How once upon a time, my dad taught me to ride a bike. He taught me to play hide and seek. He taught me to shoot. And he taught me the word. My mom taught me to draw and to cut and to create something from nothing. How were they not my parents?
I hadn't been able to hear much of anything after that announcement and there was a loud ringing in my ears. I had the vague notion of people talking to me, but all I felt was this blessed numbness.
Someone put tea in my hands. The dandelion and chicory blend was supposed to be like an imitation of the coffee that had once been so prevalent in the world Before.
And then I realized who had done it. I had come back into myself by degrees and I was staring at a pair of honey-golden eyes. He was talking to me. "Soleil? Are you here with me?"
I nodded along with him and as I did I realized that he was talking again.
“Soleil? Do you know where you are? Do you know who I am?” he asked.
I finally answered. "Creed. You're called Creed."
He smiled and I realized that he had a little dimple in his left cheek. Just a slight indent. I dipped my finger into it and giggled. "Is this something that's part of you or something you made up?"
He looked at me, a furrow in his brow. "What did I make up?"
I just waved him off. I didn’t have the strength for that part of the conversation. Then, as if something snapped inside of me, my head cleared. "Okay, I know that you can't say anything to me, and clearly the St. Clairs can’t seem to say anything either, but someone has to be able to tell me something.”
Creed looked me straight in my eyes. “That is exactly what we planned on doing. And we have the perfect person.”
I needed to sit outside. The church basement had started to feel small and awful. There was nothing quite like finding out that everything you were sure of in life was basically a lie to make you need fresh air.
Creed sat beside me. "That was a lot to take in. I didn’t want that for you."
He had mentioned that he and Osiris, whoever that was, had planned a way for me to talk to my dad. The conversation with the St. Clairs kind of preempted that plan. "You could say that." I turned to him. "You knew, didn't you? All this.” I gestured with my hand to indicate the rest of the town. “You knew all about it and couldn’t say anything. My dad. Any of it."
He sort of nodded, but was more like a shrug. "I still can't say."
Damn. So whatever hold he had on him was still there even if I knew what was going on. "So, you can't elaborate any more than she could?"
Creed shook his head. "No. More's the pity. Not that I could anyway. I don't know much about your dad’s time with AEGIS, and all that went on there."
I looked at him curiously. "Then why are you here?"
"We're here because we were here from Before." He looked at me meaningfully.
I blinked. “You…and your pack. They survived the reaping?”
“I wouldn’t say survived. But yes, there were enough of us that were able to hide and lay low and be a shelter for other shifters. Hide from AEGIS and the Reapers.”
The way he said it made them seem like two completely different entities. “I’m glad for that, then.” I didn’t know what else to say.
Creed laid a tentative hand on mine when I would have rather retreated into my memories. “Your dad had a lot to do with that, you know. He cast a shield over us and kept us safe in the Hill Country and mountain basin. Shielded us so we could grow.”
I nodded to indicate that I heard his words, but it was hard for me to make that connection with the Reggie Bishop I knew. Creed’s thumb played over the back of my hand and I couldn’t help but think that his mocha skin was well-suited to my caramel. And together, we were caramel mocha.
I took my hand back from him and raked my fingers through my hair. “Did Zorah say anything important that I should remember? I kind of tuned her out.”
He laughed without mirth, a kind of pulse in the back of his throat. "If it helps, she seemed to have difficulty speaking as well, so she might be under the same restrictions as me. She only admitted to working at a lab, ramina. What she didn't make clear was the fact that you were taken from your real family, taken to be preyed upon like some lab rat. Or worse. Used like a broodmare to create some other kind of monstrosity."
He didn't seem to be talking about a simple test tube or genetic splic
ing. The way he was simmering, it seemed he meant actual breeding and mating.
The thought of it made me sick. It wasn’t like I was sitting around dreaming about my wedding day and meeting Mr. Right, but being seen as nothing more than a living test tube was particularly abhorrent.
I hid a shiver. "It's that lab, right? AEGIS? She couldn't say anything, but it was whatever lab that's been doing this? The one in that coded message?"
Creed nodded. "Yes. They were the ones that created the monsters of this world."
I pinched the bridge of my nose. "My dad. Ma? What were their roles in all this? Keep me close like some prized pig for slaughter?”
Creed grumbled in his chest. “Your dad. Your mom. Reggie and Lena Bishop. They saved you. They smuggled you out of the lab when you were just a baby and kept you. Raised you as their own.” The passion behind his words was arresting.
"Your mother saved you again that night she walked out of the protected wards." There was no censure there, just unmarred facts that Creed thought I should know.
The weight of survivor’s guilt still squeezed my heart. “What lured her away from the wards?” I asked quietly. “Do you know?”
He was pensive. "I believe it was the shimmer folk. They were hungry."
I nodded. Shimmer folk were also known as the weird folk. The fae.
"The night your dad left you, he visited the elders. He had every intention of coming back to you. But he was fulfilling his promise. He thought it was time for you to know your past. He would have told you."
The unspoken But he didn’t make it hung in the air.
“You know the whole ‘keep her past secret for her own safety’ is highly overrated, right?” I tried to keep the bitterness from my voice but failed. I knew that none of this was his fault, but I had no one else to vent to. “I mean, whatever happened to ‘knowledge is power’ anyway?”