Alice in Murderland

by Samantha Silver

  “It’s been really nice to be here,” I said with a smile. “Everyone’s been so welcoming.”

  “I’m happy to hear it. Well, I’ll leave you here with Chase. Nice to meet you.”

  “Yeah, you too,” I replied.

  “Getting to know everyone in town?” Chase asked with a smile, and I nodded.

  “Definitely. Word spreads fast around here. It seems like everyone I run into already knows who I am.”

  “That’s definitely Sapphire Village for you. There aren’t any secrets here. Well, at least, there weren’t up until a few days ago, anyway.”

  “I’m sure you’ll find the person who killed Edith Chalmers,” I told him.

  “Of course you will, Chase,” Cat confirmed.

  “I will. It bothers me that someone in this town went to that extent, though. Cat knows what I mean. Whoever killed Edith is almost certainly someone who knew her, which would likely make them a local. When you know everyone in a small town like this one, it’s hard to imagine that any of those people could kill someone.”

  Cat nodded. “Yes. It’s definitely not good.”

  “Now, I have to have you two go over exactly what happened when you found the body yesterday, for the report,” Chase said, and Cat and I settled in to go over what had happened once more.

  Chapter Eight

  “I can’t believe you’re a suspect in the murder!” I blurted out as we left the police station.

  “It’s ok,” Cat said. “I didn’t kill her, and Chase isn’t a complete moron, not like the old police chief. It’ll be fine.”

  “Are you sure? Because you had an argument with her the day before someone fed her poisoned mushrooms.”

  “I’m sure,” Cat smiled. “Now, what did you want to do today? I see your suitcase showed up. I can help you get your place ready, or if you want you’ve been invited to have lunch with the rest of the family at Brixton Road.”

  “That sounds nice, actually,” I said. “I’m a bit nervous, but honestly, I kind of want to meet the people I’m biologically related to. I’ve never really had a family. All mom’s family lived in New England, and we only saw them once every few years. I was never really close to any of them. And of course, dad left when I was five.”

  “Well, you’ll find that our family is a little bit crazy,” Cat said. “And that’s probably not what will surprise you about Brixton Road the most.”

  “Where is Brixton Road, anyway?” I asked. “I looked it up on Google Maps last night and nothing showed up. And it’s not like it should be hard to find, this whole village has like fifteen streets, tops.”

  Cat grinned. “Yeah, Brixton road isn’t exactly on Google Maps. It’s a bit more than just one road, as well. Come on, I’ll show you.”

  More confused than ever, I followed Cat, but we just ended up back at the bookshop.

  “What’s going on?” I asked. “I thought we were going to Brixton Road.”

  “We are,” Cat said. “The entrance–at least, the entrance you’ll use the most–is in here.”

  I shook my head and followed Cat into the bookshop. She made her way to the bookshelf on the far right side of the wall.

  “I do hope you’ll never re-open this shop,” Archibald said suddenly, appearing out of nowhere. He was sitting – well, floating – on top of the counter right now.

  “Why’s that, Archibald?” I asked curiously.

  “All those people without any taste. Those who know nothing of the greatest works in the English language, who search for books written by people with names like ‘Tom Clancy and J.K. Rowling.”

  “There are ghosts in J.K. Rowling’s books,” I replied. “In fact, they’re all about magic.”

  “And I imagine they’re all factually incorrect. Not that I would know, I refuse to read anything written after the year of my death; English prose has truly gone downhill since then.”

  “Oh you love being snooty at the customers,” Cat told Archibald. “Francine used to enable you, too. And you’re out of luck, Alice is re-opening the shop soon enough. Now we’re going to go into Brixton Road, are you coming?”

  “Are you joking? Of course I’m not coming.” Suddenly, Archibald disappeared.

  “He hates Brixton Road,” Cat said. “Everyone at Brixton Road, since they’re all magical, can see him, and he’s not exactly a people person.”

  “Gee, you don’t say,” I grinned.

  “See that book there? On the third shelf at eye level, titled ‘People and Personalities in Oregon Fly Fishing, 1948 to 1957?” Cat asked.

  “Yeah,” I said, laughing. “Surely there are zero people on the planet interested in that topic.”

  “Exactly,” Cat said with a grin. Tap the book three times.

  Feeling foolish, I nonetheless did as Cat asked. As soon as my finger touched the book a third time, there was a loud creak. The bookcase in front of me suddenly opened up, and a large glowing red circle appeared in front of me.

  “Go on in,” Cat encouraged.

  “Uh, definitely not,” I replied. “What on earth is this? Some crazy magical portal? I’ve seen the Twilight Zone. I’m not going in there first.”

  “Fine,” Cat replied. She stepped forward, as if she was going to enter the portal first, when suddenly she grabbed my hand and pulled me in with her. I let out a shriek as the two of us fell into the portal.

  As soon as I hit it, it was like a tornado had started right there inside the bookshop. The air began to swirl all around me, so strongly that I couldn’t see anything. I was half expecting to see a cow fly past when, just as suddenly as the swirling wind began, it stopped.

  When I finally dared to open my eyes again, my mouth gaped wide open. We were standing in the middle of a tiny town–there seemed to be about three streets–that looked as though it was designed by a five-year-old.

  It was a bit as if a game of Candyland had come to life. In front of me was a sidewalk, but it wasn’t made with regular bricks. Instead, the bricks were round, and every color of the rainbow, like giant M&Ms. Red, blue, pink, green, purple, brown… they were placed haphazardly around, with the parts around the round colors being white. The houses were all brown, with white trim and pastel pink roofs. The grass growing from the lawns was such a pastel colored green it was almost unnatural, as were the flowers that peeked out of the flower beds.

  The trees were strange as well; rather than having leaves, like normal trees would, they looked more like giant mushrooms, with swirled patterns like peppermint candies, in a variety of colors.

  The sky here wasn’t blue, either; it was more of a pinkish-purple, the kind of color you get when the sunset is absolutely phenomenal. Stars twinkled bright, despite the fact that it was the middle of the day, and none of the constellations looked like any I recognized.

  As I looked down the street I noticed about four people walking. One was obviously a witch, tall and lean, with black-and-orange stripped leggings, a pink tutu, a shirt made entirely of bright red sequins and a black witch’s hat. I couldn’t help but stare just a little bit. Maybe by witch standards Cat wasn’t a weird dresser at all. One man with so much facial hair he looked more like Chewbacca than a human walked past us and nodded, Cat smiled back at him.

  “That’s Keith,” she told me when he went past. “He’s a werewolf. The full moon just ended, he’ll be looking a lot more human in a day or two.”

  “Oh,” I said, not really knowing how else to react. A werewolf? Really?

  “Come on,” Cat said. “Let’s go over to my mom’s place.”

  I followed after Cat. The colored bricks were actually really soft, it was a little bit like walking on a trampoline rather than a road, and Cat and I half-walked, half-jumped down the street, turning left onto one of the two side streets, until finally we reached a large brown house. It had the same pink roof as all the others, with a decoration out in front that looked like a giant Christmas tree made out of cotton candy. The baby blue color didn’t look the least bit natural.


  “This is my mom’s place here in Brixton Road,” Cat told me.

  “Why is it called that? What is this place?” I asked, looking around. Everything about it was so weird. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before.

  “When a few witches originally settled in Sapphire Village, they created Brixton Road, which was originally just the main road, hence the name, as their own little sanctuary, away from the humans who can’t use magic. We’re actually in the middle of the forest, technically, although to non-magical creatures this place is completely invisible. Satellite images don’t pick it up, and if a person managed to wander through to where we are now, they would simply be turned around by the magic without realizing it. The portals can only be accessed by people with magical powers, and they’re built in the homes or workplaces of magical beings. Mine is inside the walk-in fridge at the back of the cupcake shop. Some magical creatures, like me, spend most of their time in Sapphire Village. Some, like Keith we just walked past, almost always stay in Brixton Road. Most of our family prefer to stay in Brixton Road, but my sister Peaches splits her time pretty evenly. You’ll see her around more than anyone. Also, I should warn you. Our grandmother is not easy to get along with.”

  “Ok,” I gulped, suddenly wondering if this was a good idea after all. I suddenly found myself feeling incredibly nervous. I was about to meet my entire family. Cat was all right, but she was just one person. And a pretty fun one, at that. But inside this house were a whole bunch of people who shared my genetic makeup, and I didn’t know any of them.

  “Come on,” Cat said, and I followed her into the house. She didn’t bother knocking, just walked in.

  Chapter Nine

  “Mom! I’m here, and I brought Alice with me!”

  Not a split second later it sounded like a whole herd of elephants was making its way toward the front door. I prepared myself for the onslaught, but rather than elephants, I was met with about a dozen witches and wizards, all of whom suddenly enveloped me with hugs, kisses and introductions.

  “Oh it’s so nice to finally see you again!”

  “You’ve grown so much!”

  “Of course she’s grown, Jasmine, you dunce, you haven’t seen her in almost thirty years.”

  “Don’t call me a dunce!”

  “Don’t act like a dunce!”

  “Ladies! You’re in your fifties. Stop bickering like a couple of teenagers. Set a good example for your niece! Your daughters are a lost cause, we don’t know if Alice is as well, yet,” said a voice from the back. I strained my eyes to see a woman who was barely four feet tall and at least in her eighties, looking every inch the typical witch. Her grey hair hung down the side of her face in strings, her nose was crooked and a large scar covered some of her left cheek. Despite all that, it was obvious that earlier in life she would have been quite beautiful.

  “Hey!” I heard Cat protest.

  “That’s not fair, I’m nothing like Cat,” announced another woman about my age, who looked exactly like Cat except that her hair was a light pastel coral color, halfway between orange and pink.

  “I wasn’t talking to you now, was I girls?” the old lady replied.

  “No, but you were talking about us. And it wasn’t nice.”

  “Awww, did Grandma Cee hurt your feelings? Well, maybe if you were better grandchildren, I wouldn’t have to.”

  “I run my own business!” Cat argued.

  “Yes, and if I ask you to do anything more complicated than a simple enlargement spell you wouldn’t have a clue how. You’re a witch, not a human. Act like one!”

  “Yeah, Cat, you’re a witch, act like it,” Peaches fired to her sister, sticking her tongue out at her.

  “And you never learn your spells properly!” the old lady fired back at Peaches. “I’d feel so bad for your poor mother having to replace all the panes of glass you accidentally make disappear while trying a simple cleaning spell, except that it’s her relaxed parenting that allowed the two of you to be such mediocre witches in the first place!”

  My two cousins looked so abashed at the scolding that I was half tempted to laugh out loud.

  “Mom!” cried out a pretty, plump, friendly looking witch with fiery red hair wearing a rather unflattering blue-and-white checkered dress that looked like it belonged on the set of Little House in the Prairie. Surprisingly enough, I immediately noticed that she had exactly the same blue eyes as I did, on top of the same color hair. My heart raced a little bit at this realization; I’d never known anyone that I could share genetic traits with.

  “Alice is here for the first time; you can pretend to be nice for at least thirty seconds before you scare her away from us forever, right? Alice, it’s lovely to meet you. I’m Sage, Cat and Peaches’ mom, and your aunt. The octogenarian horror here is my mother, Cassiopeia–but almost everyone calls her Grandma Cee—but don’t worry, her bark is a lot worse than her bite.”

  “Grrrrrrr,” Grandma Cee imitated, showing her teeth, but Sage ignored her.

  “This here is your Uncle Vulcan, and your other aunt Jasmine,” Sage continued, motioning to a tall, stern looking man with reddish-brown hair and a blonde woman with the same face as Sage, but who was tall and skinny. They both smiled at me.

  “It’s so lovely to finally meet you,” Jasmine said. “You look so much like Jennie did at your age.”

  “You really do,” the man said, nodding. “I’m glad you’ve decided to come back to your roots.”

  “Come on, come on, let’s get all of you to the table, I bet you haven’t eaten anything all day,” Sage said, herding us all into a huge dining room. The house had looked like a decent size from the outside, but the interior was absolutely enormous. The dining room was easily bigger than my entire apartment back in Miami; with a large, dark wooden table in the center capable of easily fitting at least fifteen to twenty people. Matching chairs surrounded the table, which was the obvious centerpiece of the room. A large, old-style chandelier hung down from the ceiling, but also had strings of crystalline lights extending outwards toward the far reaches of the room, toward the gorgeous, dark-panelled-wood walls. It felt like we were in the middle of a castle in the Black Forest, about to sit down for a royal feast.

  The table was bare, apart from the place settings for everyone.

  “Do you need any help in the kitchen?” I asked Sage, but she laughed friendlily in return.

  “Oh dear me, no. Thank you, though. Everything’s all set; I just need to bring it out.”

  “At least let me help with tha—” I started, when suddenly Sage pointed her finger at the dining table and what seemed like at least fifteen dishes appeared all of a sudden, like magic. Well, I supposed it really was magic, wasn’t it?

  “Oh my God,” I said, staring at all the food laid out on the table. There were pork chops, mashed potatoes, gravy, Brussels sprouts sautéed with bacon, honey and sesame coated carrots, at least four different salads and enough wine to keep a small Italian village happy for a night.

  “It’s just a small family lunch, nothing special,” Sage told me with a smile.

  “This looks amazing,” I replied. “Oh my God.” I didn’t dare to admit to Sage that most of my cooking skills consisted of nuking a Lean Cuisine in the microwave for dinner most nights.

  “Well thank you, you’re too kind,” Sage said, sitting down at the table. Everyone else followed suit.

  “I’m sitting next to Alice,” Grandma Cee said. “I want to get to know what kind of person my granddaughter is.”

  “The kind who really, really likes pork chops,” I said, grabbing a piece and putting it on my plate. Cat laughed from her seat on the other side of me.

  We all ate in silence for about five minutes or so, with the occasional murmur of appreciation of the food aimed at Sage. I had to say, it was probably the best meal I’d ever eaten in my life. I realized where Cat’s cooking skills came from now; her mom was hands down the best cook I’d ever met in my life.

  “So,” Grandma Cee
finally said. “What did the woman who raised you teach you about magic?”

  I shrugged. “Honestly, nothing. Until I met Cat yesterday, I didn’t know magic was real. I’m still not sure it’s sunk in.”

  Grandma Cee nodded. “I suppose that was probably for the best. She was protecting you, after all.”

  “Protecting me?”

  “Yes. It’s time you knew the truth. Your mother wasn’t killed in a car crash. She was hunted, killed by a group of dark witches and wizards who steal the powers of other magical beings to make themselves more powerful.”

  “What?” I whispered.

  “The woman who raised you, Corrine, she knew the truth. Your mother had told her, just before she died. She was not really supposed to tell her, but she knew she was in trouble. She had seen some of the Others following her, and knew it was likely she would be their next victim. She asked Corrine to take care of you, to take you far away from here and to raise you as a non-magical human as best she could if anything happened to her. That night, she was driving when she was ambushed by the Others. They left her body, and it was reported by the humans that your mother died in a car crash, but that was not the case. Her soul, her powers, was taken by the Others.”

  “Do we really need to be telling Alice all of this?” Vulcan asked quietly. “She’s young, and she’s so new to the magical world.”

  “That’s why it is important, and that’s why I’m telling her everything,” Grandma Cee snapped to her son in reply. “The Others are the reason we called Corrine and got her to convince you to come back here. You are no longer safe in the human world. The Others are back, and they are coming after our family again. When Francine was killed by them a few weeks ago, we knew. Our family protects us, but only when we are together as a group. That is why you had to come back. The more Calliopes that are together, the more powerful we are and the less likely they are to succeed. We lost Francine because of her stubborn refusal to accept that the Others have returned. We will not lose you as well.”