by Kip Nelson
“I agree,” Mack said, “go ahead and put together a team,” she left, and while she did so Mack got together another group to go back to the docks for some more fish.
“I know we're all going to get tired of eating fish pretty quickly, and we don't want to have so many that we end up eating the entire population, but catch as many as you can and bring them back here. Take some guns as well, just in case Flint decided to come back to shore.”
That patrol left almost immediately. They were nervous about going back to the docks. None of them really wanted to interact with the sailors again, but when they got to the docks there were no signs of Flint or the sailors. The sailors were gone for good, and the people of New Haven were free to fish in peace. It would have been easier if they were able to take a boat out, but the only boats left were those that ran on electric motors. At some point, they would build another one to take out into slightly deeper waters to fish properly with huge nets, but that would take time and manpower they did not have at that moment.
Back in the settlement, Grace was putting together her patrol. A large group was going to be needed, since they would be trekking for a matter of weeks, and hopefully would be bringing back an abundant supply of food. She wanted people she trusted, because she knew how dangerous the forest could be. In some ways it was funny, because when they left the forest and finally saw the city standing before them, she vowed she never would return and didn't want to even think about setting foot back in the forest. Although now she was looking forward to being back there, hoping the change in environment would offer her some semblance of clarity when it came to her personal difficulties. Along with several other people, she recruited Daisy, Gary, and Saul to accompany her, and then, much to her surprise, Anna volunteered to come along as well.
“Are you sure?” Grace asked.
“Yeah, I kinda miss being out there and I think I can help, if you don't mind me tagging along.”
“No, of course not,” Grace said, and each of them went to make the preparations to leave.
Privately, Mack followed Anna back to their apartment where she was packing up a few things to take with her.
“I'm going to ask you the same question that Grace asked. Are you sure about this?” he said.
Anna stopped what she was doing, pressed her lips together, and then turned to face him. “Definitely,” she said.
“It's just that you had a rough time of it before when you were out of the city, and it set you on a path where you wanted to isolate yourself from other people.”
“That won't happen again. I'm with you again, and I've made friends with all these lovely people. I was only in that way because I felt like I was alone, and that I'd lost everything I cared about in the world. I don't feel like that anymore, so you don't have to worry. I just...I want to do something that matters. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love doing the creative stuff and keeping that alive, but I'm not really needed for that, not anymore at least. The group is kind of self-sufficient now, which is great! But also, you know, we can't eat artwork or stories. I truly believe we do need those things to live, but we also need food, and that's the one thing we're really lacking at the moment. I haven't been out on a patrol for New Haven yet, and I don't think it's fair that other people should risk their lives when I'm just sitting here. I don't want people to think I'm taking advantage of being your wife.”
“I'm sure nobody would ever--” he started to say, but Anna held up a hand to cut him off.
“I get why you're concerned, but I'm not doing it for any other reason than I want to help. I know I have skills that will come in useful, and I want to do my part for New Haven,” she said. Mack nodded and hugged her, wishing her good hunting.
In another part of the settlement, however, another couple did not have such a calm and reasonable discussion about it. After Grace had gone around and rounded up enough people for a patrol, she was packing up her supplies. Luis came rushing up to her, his deputy badge shining brightly. Grace tensed up at the sight of him because she knew what was coming, and indeed, within moments of him being by her side Luis was expressing his concerns.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked.
“You know you don't always have to be the one to lead the patrols. I mean, I know that's kinda your thing, and you're great at it, and I get that you want to feel like you're contributing to New Haven, but do you not think at the moment it's better for you to stay here so we can sort things out? I don't want to try keeping you here, but you did say you wanted to sort out your head. Yet, we haven't really talked about things since you've been back, and I just, I want to know what's going on with us, you know?”
“I get that, and I'm sorry that this is so hard for you, but it's not like it's easy for me either. I wish I knew what was going on in my own head. All I know is I need some space, just to figure it out. Please, give me this time. I'd rather go out there knowing that I have your support. You know this is my role here, this is what I'm good at.”
“I know it is, but I also feel as though you're using it as an excuse to get away from me,” Luis said sullenly.
“That's not fair. I'm doing it because we need food to survive, and I'm one of the best there is at going out there and finding it. Why can't you just say, 'Good luck, Grace' rather than making it such a big deal?”
“Oh, I'm sorry that I'm going to miss my girlfriend. Sure, just go out there, take the whole winter if you want. It's nice to know it's so easy for you to leave me.”
“I'm not leaving you,” Grace said in an exasperated tone, pinching the bridge of her nose.
“I can't talk to you like this, I just can't. I don't even know what to say. I'm going out on patrol, I'll see you when I get back,” she said, and with that she hauled her bag over her shoulder and stormed out of the apartment, leaving Luis frustrated and angry.
It only took a few moments before he too stormed out of the apartment. His head and heart burned with turbulent emotions, and he didn't quite know what to think. All he did know was he was afraid of losing Grace for good. In a blind rage, he went to find Maggie and told her in no uncertain terms he was going to go on the patrol as well. Maggie took one look at him and saw that he was in distress. There were some times when she was hard on him, such as the time he had instigated a brawl with the sailors. Yet, in this instance, she could see he needed a little more tenderness. She looked at him and took a deep breath, hoping he would do the same.
“And why's that?” she asked.
“Because I need to go, I need to be there with Grace so we can talk properly. She said she wants space, but I know what that means. The longer we're apart the quicker she'll just forget about me, and I don't want to stay here knowing our love is breaking apart. I have to be with her to remind her that I exist.”
“Okay, first of all, you have your duties as my deputy, and you can't just decide when you want to fulfill them. I told you when this started that it was a solemn oath and a hard job, and that it would take up a lot of time, but that it had to be your priority. You agreed to that, you agreed to all of it. I understand you're in a very emotional place right now and you just want to be with her, but sometimes there are other things that have to come first.” Luis looked as though he was going to explode with frustration, but before he could say anything Maggie continued in her calm, even tone.
“And on a personal note, I've spoken with Grace about this, and I obviously know how you feel. Speaking as a woman I can tell you the worst thing you can do right now is to smother her. I know the natural instinct is to do everything you can to hold on, but it's not going to do you any good to go after her. Give her the time she needs. Give her a chance to miss you.”
Chapter Thirteen
It was soon time for the patrol to leave. The ones going out on patrol said goodbye to their loved ones and promised they would stay safe. Saul gave Alison quite a public kiss, bending her over backward, leaving her staggering back, causing everyone else to gawk in awkward amusement.
Luis was not present, and Grace wasn't sure if she was happy about that or not. She tried to look for him through the crowd, but didn't see him.
“It'll be okay,” Anna said. “We'll talk about it later if you want.”
“Thanks,” Grace said, glad that Anna was so intuitive and knew what was upsetting her without Grace having to tell her anything.
There were about ten or so of them, all armed with guns, javelins, and bows and arrows. Gary was especially eager to test his mettle out there. As soon as they left the safety of New Haven he was talking about the animals he was going to hunt and trying to cajole the others into a competition.
“Remember that we're doing this to get food to feed everyone's stomachs, not to feed your egos,” Grace said sternly.
“That doesn't mean we can't have a little fun at the same time,” Gary replied with a cheeky smile.
“I think I'm starting to prefer it when he was being difficult,” Grace said quietly to Anna and Saul, who were beside her.
There were mixed feelings among those who were going out on patrol, especially Grace. On the one hand, she was glad to be going out there again, feeling as though she was making a difference rather than just discussing things and handing down decisions. She decided she liked to be hands-on. Her brief tenure as leader of the settlement, before it had been christened New Haven, had taught her that. But there was trepidation that came with that as well. She knew there were dangers lurking outside the safe walls of New Haven, and going out there meant risking her life as well as the lives of all the other people she had asked to come with her. It also meant they all were cut off from New Haven for a while as well, and would have no idea what was going on there until they returned. Hopefully, they would not get attacked in the meantime. Then there was Luis as well. Although Grace tried not to think about him because it only caused her pain. She lost herself in conversation with Saul and Anna as the patrol drew farther and farther away from New Haven.
In the meantime, Mack rallied around the settlement’s main leaders and told them they should make every effort to build up New Haven and make it into the place of their dreams.
“We've had to endure a lot in our short time here. There have been attacks, people threatening our way of life, and other issues that all have distracted us from what we should be doing, which is taking care of New Haven. While others are out there fishing and looking for food, we should make sure that when they come back they are astounded by what we have done. You've all done well at finding roles for yourselves, and you know I've talked with many of you about plans for New Haven and what you think we should be building here. We're going to have a school to educate the children among us. We're also going to have courses so that even the adults can continue learning new skills because I've always thought it important to keep learning throughout life. We're going to have plays and other creative endeavors, we're actually going to have lives here.
“So far most of our energy has gone into survival, and with the food needed to get through winter that's still going to be our main goal. Although I'm tired of thinking of myself as a survivor, as I'm sure many of you are as well. We need to remember how to live, how to actually make progress in life, and I'm looking forward to going on this adventure with you. If any of you have any suggestions, please don't hesitate to come to me. I want New Haven to be a place where everyone can reach their full potential, and maybe even do some of the things you never got around to in the old world. Let's make this a place where dreams come true.”
Mack's speech was met with much admiration, and a good mood rippled through the settlement. Although the winter was looking bleak, they were buoyed by the future beyond the winter, and were looking forward to sunnier days. Each member of New Haven wanted to establish it as a comfortable place to live. The days following the EMP were filled with such uncertainty that none of them knew if they were going to survive this long. Given some of the dangers that had struck New Haven, most of them felt lucky even to be alive, especially when so many good men and women had died around them. It was in tribute to them as well as themselves that the people of New Haven wanted to see the place grow, to be a positive force in the world, rather than one that was hell-bent on stealing from others or killing them without remorse.
So it was that people soon became busy putting into action all the things they had planned. Alison spearheaded the school and organized people to teach different subjects. They agreed the curriculum would have to be changed from what the children used to learn. So, now alongside math, English, and science, they were taught how to make bows and arrows, how to grow crops, and how to maintain the settlement. Many of them had worked with Saul, and now were used to a strong work ethic. They had been given structure again, which was something many of the parents had been concerned about. The children’s welfare had been at the forefront of their minds and they all were glad that a school had been opened. When they looked at their children they were looking at the future of New Haven. They had to make sure they gave their children the right lessons so they would take care of New Haven in the future and continue the good work.
Of course, the children didn't much like the idea of school simply because it was school. However, when the classes began and the children realized it wasn't going to be like the school they were used to, their moods changed and they enjoyed learning about the different things. The Lost Children all had been rehabilitated and, aside from a few occasional outbursts, had adjusted well to living in New Haven. Sometimes the adults had to answer awkward questions, like about what had happened to Peter, but all in all they had made much progress.
This was in large part due to Freddie, who had continued counseling them, as well as their parents. At first, a lot of people looked upon him with suspicion as there was still a stigma about therapy, as though it was a shameful thing to want to talk to a professional to gain advice and guidance. However, the stresses of this world soon had taken their toll. People began flocking to him, at first for a chat, then for proper sessions. Freddie soon found his days were filled with people wanting his advice. He was glad for this because there were times when he felt as though he didn't really have a place in New Haven, and he was pleased to see the children were flourishing as well. He was also glad to report that nobody had any major concerns, and most people just were worried about the future. He spent a lot of time with Hank, who also met with a lot of people who wanted to talk about their problems, since the preacher offered a spiritual avenue, and the two men often found solace and support from each other. However, Freddie noticed Hank was feeling somewhat subdued, and when Freddie was with Mindy he brought up the subject. The two of them were putting together a course to teach other people about medical care.
“I'm glad we're doing this, but I feel like without a doctor we're still going to be vulnerable, especially in the winter when people's immune systems are more prone to infection. I hope we don't ever get an epidemic on our hands,” Mindy said.
“I know. I've been worrying about that too, but I'm glad you're around. Everyone knows they're in good hands with you. I heard that one of the patrols came across the library and brought back a load of books, some of them even textbooks, because they thought people would want to learn new skills. I'm sure there's a medical one in there so that we can improve as well,” Freddie replied.
“That would be good,” Mindy said.
“Can I ask you a personal question? It's about Hank. I was talking to him earlier, and ever since this business with the sailors, he's been off. I was just wondering if he had talked to you about it, because he seemed reluctant to do so with me. And as much as I know he has God to talk to, sometimes it helps to have someone who can talk back directly.”
Mindy offered a weak smile. “Hank is a lot more sensitive than people realize. I think learning the truth about the sailors did hit him hard. He's obviously seen people go to great lengths to survive, but that was something else. I've tried to get him to talk to me, but he says he just needs time to work through i
t.”
“I hope he's not going through a crisis of faith.”
“Oh no, I'm sure it's nothing as bad as that. His faith is the thing that keeps him going through all of this. I think everything is just taking its toll. We all have moments like this. I'm sure he'll be alright, especially with friends like you around.”
Freddie smiled at her as they continued planning the medical course. Elsewhere in the settlement, other people pored through textbooks, enjoying learning new things or even relearning skills that had become rusty. Many people looked at the books that had been brought back and offered to share their love with people. These weren't official courses, but more like casual seminars where people could talk about topics. There were also readings of stories given by people with good voices. Book clubs were formed to complement the creative groups, some of which were busy writing plays, while others were painting the changing scenes of New Haven, and still others were writing the events down in stories, stories that would document the fall of the world and the rise of New Haven.
The barriers were strong, and as Mack looked around at the settlement he had brought together, he smiled. Yet, there was a nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right. Perhaps he was so used to things going wrong that his instincts were naturally paranoid, but things almost seemed to be going too well. With everything that had happened since his plane went down and the world had changed irrevocably, there always had been some new threat, some new menace that had threatened their way of life. Although, for now, it seemed that peace would reign, and New Haven would be able to find its feet, fully establishing itself.
“Am I crazy?” he asked, after sharing these thoughts with Maggie.
“A little bit, yeah. It's all well and good to be on your guard, but at some point, you have to let yourself enjoy life. Otherwise, what's the point of going through all the bad stuff?” the sheriff replied.