by Cat Schield
She had no business feeling insecure and suspicious. It wasn’t as if she had a claim to Jason beyond their oh-so-satisfying baby-making activities. Problem was, she couldn’t disconnect her emotions. And heaven knew she’d been trying to. Telling herself over and over that it was just sex. Incredibly hot, passionate, mind-blowing sex, but not the act of two people in love. Just a couple of friends trying to make a baby together.
Whom was she kidding?
For the past two weeks, she’d been deliriously happy and anxiety-ridden by turn. Every time he slid inside her it was a struggle not to confide that she was falling in love with him, and her strength was fading fast. Already she was rationalizing why she and Jason should continue to be intimate long after she was pregnant.
It was only a matter of time before she confessed what she truly wanted for her future and he’d sit her down and remind her why they’d made love in the first place. Then things would get awkward and they’d start to avoid each other. No. Better to stay silent and keep Jason as her best friend rather than lose him forever.
“If you’re worried about Jason, Max texted me and said he’s on the upper deck with Nathan and Sebastian.” Rachel gave Ming a reassuring smile.
“I’m not worried about Jason,” Ming hastily assured her as she sagged in relief. She mustered a smile. “No need for me to be. We’re just friends. Have been for years.”
A fact Rachel knew perfectly well since the four of them had gone out numerous times since she and Max had gotten engaged. Ming had no idea why she had to keep reminding people that she and Jason were not an item.
“Jason’s a great guy.”
“He sure is.” Ming saw where this was going and knew she had to cut Rachel off. “But he’s the sort of guy who isn’t ever going to fall in love and get married.”
Rachel cocked her head. “Funny, that’s what I thought about Max and yet he lost his favorite car to Jason over a wager that he wouldn’t get married.” Her blue eyes sparkled with mischief. “What’s to say Jason won’t change his mind, too?”
Ming smiled back, but she knew there was a big difference between the two men. Max hadn’t found his father trying to kill himself because he was so despondent over the loss of his wife and daughter. And after getting the scoop about how Max and Rachel had met five years earlier, Ming suspected the reason Max had been so down on love and marriage was that he’d already lost his heart to the woman of his dreams.
“I don’t know,” Ming said. “He’s pretty set in his ways. Besides, you weren’t around when my engagement to Jason’s brother ended. It made me realize that I’m happier on my own.”
“Yeah, before Max, I was where you are. All I have to say is that things change.” Rachel nudged her chin toward her soon-to-be-sisters-in-law. “Ask either of those two if they believed love was ever going to happen for them. I’ll bet both of them felt the way you do right now.”
Ming glanced toward the back of the limo, where Emma, nine months pregnant and due any second, and Missy, four months pregnant and radiant, sat side by side, laughing. They had it all. Gorgeous, devoted men. Babies on the way. Envy twisted in Ming’s heart.
She sighed. “I’m really happy for all of you, but love doesn’t find everyone.”
“If you keep an open mind it does.”
The big diamond on Rachel’s hand sparkled in the low light. Ming stared at it while her fingers combed her hair into three sections. As she braided, she mused that being in love was easy when you were a week away from pairing your engagement ring with a wedding band. Not that she begrudged any of the Case women their happiness. Each one had gone through a lot before finding bliss, none more so than Rachel. But Ming just wasn’t in a place where she could feel optimistic about her own chances.
She was in love with a man who refused to let his guard down and allow anyone in, much less her. Because she couldn’t get over her feelings for Jason, she’d already lost one man and almost made the biggest mistake of her life. And as of late, she was concerned that having Jason father her child was going to lead to more heartache in the future.
Ming mulled Rachel’s words during the second half of the forty-five-minute drive from downtown Houston to the Galveston marina where the men would be waiting. Maybe she should have gone home from the club like Rachel’s sister, Hailey, instead of heading out to meet up with Jason. They’d made no plans to rendezvous tonight. She was starting to feel foolish for chasing him all the way out here.
If Jason decided to stay on the yacht with the bachelor party instead of motoring back to the dock on the launch with Max and his brothers, would she be the odd girl out when the couples reunited? Her chest tightened. Ming closed her eyes as they entered the marina parking lot.
The limo came to a stop. Ming heard the door open and the low rumble of male voices. She couldn’t make her eyes open. Couldn’t face the sight of the three couples embracing while she sat alone and unwanted.
“What’s the matter? Did all the dancing wear you out?”
Her eyes flew open at Jason’s question. His head and shoulders filled the limo’s open door. Heart pounding in delight, she clasped her hands in her lap to keep from throwing herself into his arms. That was not how friends greeted each other.
“I’m not used to having that much fun.” She scooted along the seat to the door, accepting Jason’s hand as her foot touched the pavement. His familiar cologne mingled with the faint scent of cigars. She wanted to nuzzle her nose into his neck and breathe him in. “How about you? Did you enjoy your strippers?”
“They preferred to be called exotic dancers.” He showed her his phone. “They weren’t nearly as interesting as this performance.”
She gasped at the picture of herself dancing. How had Jason gotten ahold of it? So much for what happens at a bachelorette party stays at a bachelorette party. She eyed the women behind Jason. Who’d ratted her out?
“It was just some guy who asked me to dance,” she protested.
“Just some guy?” He kept his voice low, but there was no denying the edge in his tone. “He has his hands all over you.”
She enlarged the image, telling herself she was imagining the possessive glint in Jason’s eye. “No he doesn’t. And if this had been taken five seconds later you would have seen me shove him away and walk off the dance floor.”
“Whoa, sounds like a lover’s spat to me,” Rachel crowed.
Confused by the sparks snapping in Jason’s blue eyes, Ming realized a semicircle of couples had formed five feet away. Six faces wore various shades of amusement as they looked on.
Jason composed his expression and turned to face the group. “Not a lover’s spat.”
“Just a concerned friend,” Max intoned, his voice dripping with dry humor.
“Come on, we’re all family here.” Sebastian’s gesture encompassed the whole group. “You can admit to us that you’re involved.”
“We’re not involved.” Ming found her voice.
“We’re friends,” Jason said. “We look out for each other.”
“I disagree,” Max declared, slapping Jason on the back. “I think you’ve finally realized that your best friend is the best thing that ever happened to you.” He glanced around to see if the others agreed with him. “About time, too.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jason was making no attempt to laugh off his friend’s ribbing.
Ming flinched at Jason’s resolute expression. If he’d considered moving beyond friendship, Max would be the one he’d confide in. With Jason’s adamant denial, Ming had to face the fact that she was an idiot to hope that Jason might one day realize they belonged together.
“Oh!”
All eyes turned to Emma, who’d bent over, her hand pressed to her round belly.
“Are you okay?” Nathan put his arm around her waist. “Was it a contraction?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think so.” Emma clutched his arm. “Maybe you’d better take me home.”
To Ming
’s delight everyone’s focus had shifted to Emma. What might or might not be going on between Ming and Jason was immediately forgotten. As Nathan opened the passenger door for Emma, she looked straight at Ming and winked. Restraining a grin, Ming wondered how many times Emma had used the baby in such a fashion.
“Alone at last,” Jason said, drawing her attention back to him. “And the night is still young.”
Ming shivered beneath his intense scrutiny. “What did you have in mind?”
“I was thinking maybe you could show me your dancing skills in private.”
“Funny. I was thinking maybe you could give me a demonstration of the techniques you picked up from your strippers tonight.”
“Exotic dancers,” he corrected, opening the passenger door on his car so she could get in. “And I didn’t pick up anything because I wasn’t anywhere near their dancing.”
The last of her tension melted away. “I don’t believe you,” she teased, keeping her relief hidden. She leaned against his chest and peered up at him from beneath her lashes. “Not so long ago you wouldn’t have missed that kind of action.”
“Not so long ago I didn’t have all the woman I could handle waiting for me at home.”
“Except I wasn’t waiting for you.” Lifting up on tiptoe, she pressed her lips to his and then dropped into the passenger seat.
“No, you were out on the town breaking hearts.”
The door shut before her retort reached Jason’s ears. Was he really annoyed with her for dancing with someone? Joy flared and died. She was reading too much into it.
“So, where are we heading?” Jason turned out of the marina parking lot and got them headed toward the bridge off the island.
“You may take me home. After all that heartbreaking, my feet are sore.” She tried to smile, but her heart hurt too much. “Besides, Muffin is home alone.”
“Where’s Lily?”
“Supposedly she’s out of town this weekend.”
“Why supposedly?”
“Because I drove past Evan’s house and her car was in the driveway.”
“You drove past Evan’s house?” Jason shifted his gaze off the road long enough for her to glimpse his alarm. “Are you sure that was a good idea?”
She bristled at his disapproving tone. “I was curious if my sister had lied to me.”
“You were curious.” He echoed her words doubtfully. “Not bothered that they’re together?”
“No.”
“Because you two were engaged not that long ago and now he’s dating your sister.”
“Why do you keep bringing that up?” Her escalating annoyance came through loud and clear. She’d known Jason too long not to recognize when he was picking a fight.
“I want you to be honest with yourself so this doesn’t blow up between you and your sister in the future.”
“You don’t think I’m being honest with myself?”
“Your sister is dating the man who broke off your engagement two weeks before the wedding. I think you’re trying too hard to be okay with it.”
He took her hand and she was both soothed and frustrated by his touch. No matter what else was happening between them, Jason was her best friend. He knew her better than anyone. Sometimes better than she knew herself. But the warm press of his fingers reminded her that while he could act like a bossy boyfriend, she came up against his defenses every time she started to play girlfriend.
“Right now I’ve got my hands full with you.” Ming wasn’t exaggerating on that score. “Can we talk about something else? Please?”
The last thing she wanted was to argue with him when her hopes for the evening required them to be in perfect accord.
“Sure.” Even though he agreed, she could tell he wasn’t happy about dropping the subject. “What’s on your mind?”
“I have the house to myself until late Sunday if you want to hang out.”
“That sounds like an invitation to sleep over.”
She made a sandwich of his hand and hers and ignored the anxious flutter in her stomach.
“Maybe it is.” Flirting with Jason was fun and dangerous. It was easy to lose track of reality and venture into that tricky romantic place best avoided if she wanted their friendship to remain uncomplicated.
Or maybe she was too far gone for things to ever be the same between them again.
The part of her that wanted them to be more than just friends was growing stronger every day. It was a crazy hope, but she couldn’t stop the longing any more than Jason could get past his reluctance to fall in love.
“Ming…”
She heard the wariness in his voice and held up her hand. They hadn’t spent a single night together this whole week. That had been a mutual decision based on practicality. Neither of them wanted Evan to pop over late one night and find her at Jason’s house. Plus, Lily had been in Houston all week and would have noticed if Ming had stayed out all night.
But she was dying to spend the night snuggled in his arms. And the craving had nothing to do with making a baby.
“Forget I said anything.” Her breath leaked out in a long, slow sigh. “This past week has been fun. But you and I both know I’m past my prime fertility cycle. It makes no sense for us to keep getting together when I’m either pregnant or I’m too late in my cycle to try.”
“Wait. Is that what this week has been about?” He sounded put out. “You’re just using me to make a baby?”
Startled, she opened her mouth to deny his claim and realized he was trying to restore their conversation to a lighter note by teasing her. “And a few weeks from now we’ll see if you’ve succeeded.” She faked a yawn. “I guess I’m more tired than I thought.”
Jason nodded and turned the topic to the bachelorette party. Ming jumped on board, glad to leave behind the tricky path they’d been treading.
By the time he turned the car into her driveway, she’d manhandled her fledgling daydreams about turning their casual sex into something more. She was prepared to say good-night and head alone to her door.
“Call me tomorrow,” he told her. “I’ve got to go shopping for Max and Rachel’s wedding present.”
“You haven’t done that yet?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to offer to do it for me.”
Robbed of a dreamy night in Jason’s arms and the pleasure of waking up with him in the morning, Ming let her irritation shine. “You said no about going in on a gift together, so you’re on your own.”
“Please come shopping with me.” He put on his most appealing smile. “You know I’m hopeless when it comes to department stores.”
How could she say no when she’d already agreed to help him before they’d started sleeping together. It wasn’t fair to treat him differently just because she felt differently toward him.
“What time tomorrow?”
“Eleven? I want to be home to watch the Oilers at three.”
“Fine,” she grumbled.
With disappointment of her own weighing her down, she plodded up the stairs and let herself into her house. Muffin met her in the foyer. She danced around on her back legs, wringing a small smile from Ming’s stiff lips.
“I’ll take you out back in a second.” She waited by the front door long enough to see Jason’s headlights retreating down her driveway, then headed toward the French doors that led from her great room to the pool deck.
While the Yorkie investigated the bushes at the back of her property, Ming sat down on a lounge chair and sought the tranquility often gained by sitting beside her turquoise kidney-shaped pool. She revisited her earlier statement to Jason. It made no sense for them to rendezvous each afternoon and have the best sex ever if all they were trying to do was make a baby. Only, if she was completely honest with herself, she’d admit that a baby isn’t all she wanted from Jason.
Her body ached with unfulfilled desire. Her soul longed to find the rhythm of Jason’s heart beating in time with hers. From the beginning she’d been right to worry that get
ting intimate with her best friend was going to lead her into trouble. But temptation could be avoided for only so long when all you’ve ever wanted gets presented to you on a silver platter. She would just have to learn to live with the consequences.
Finding nothing of interest in the shrubbery, Muffin came back to the pool, her nails clicking on the concrete. Sympathetic to her mistress’s somber mood, the terrier jumped onto Ming’s lap and nuzzled her nose beneath Ming’s hand.
“I am such an idiot,” she told the dog, rubbing Muffin’s head.
“That makes two of us.”
*
Jason hadn’t even gotten out of Ming’s neighborhood before he’d realized what a huge error he’d made. In fact, he hadn’t made it to the end of her block. But just because he’d figured it out didn’t mean returning to Ming wasn’t an even bigger mistake. So, he’d sat at a stop sign for five minutes, listening to Rascal Flatts and wondering when his life had gotten so damned complicated. Then, he’d turned the car around, used his key to get into Ming’s house and found her by the pool.
“Let’s go upstairs,” he said. “We need to talk.”
Ming pulled her hair over one shoulder and began to braid it. “We can’t talk here?”
Was she being deliberately stubborn or pretending to be dense?
Without answering, he pivoted on his heel and walked toward the house. Muffin caught up as he crossed the threshold. Behind him, Ming’s heels clicked on the concrete as she rushed after him.
“Jason.” She sounded breathless and uncertain. She’d stopped in the middle of her kitchen and called after him as he got to the stairs. “Why did you come back?”
Since talking had only created problems between them earlier, he was determined to leave conversation for later. Taking the stairs two at a time, he reached her bedroom in record time. Unfastening his cuffs, he gazed around the room. He hadn’t been up here since he’d helped her paint the walls a rich beige. The dark wood furniture, rich chestnut bedspread and touches of sage green gave the room the sophisticated, expensive look of a five-star hotel suite.