by Cat Schield
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“Don’t you think you should have?” She didn’t want to resent Lily for finding happiness.
“I honestly didn’t think anything was going to happen between us.”
“Happen between you when, exactly?” Ming’s frustration with her own love life was bubbling to the surface. “The first time you went out? The first time he kissed you?”
“I don’t want this to come between us.”
“Me, either.” But at the moment it was, and Ming couldn’t dismiss the resentment rumbling through her.
“But I don’t want to break up with him.” Beneath Lily’s determined expression was worry. “I can’t.”
Shock zipped across Ming’s nerve endings. “Is it that serious?”
“He told me he loves me.”
“Wow.” Ming exhaled in surprise.
It had taken almost a year of dating for Evan to admit such deep feelings for her. As reality smacked her in the face, she was overcome by the urge to curl into a ball and cry her eyes out. What was wrong with her? She wasn’t in love with Evan. She’d made her peace with their breakup. Why couldn’t she be happy for her sister?
“Do you feel the same?”
Lily wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I do.”
“How long have you been going out?”
“A couple months. I know it seems fast, but I’ve been interested in Evan since high school. Until recently, I had no idea he saw me as anything more than your baby sister. Emphasis on the baby.” Lily’s lips curved down at the corners.
There was a five-year difference in their ages. That gap would have seemed less daunting as Lily moved into her twenties and became a successful career woman.
“I guess he’s seen the real you at last.”
“I want you to know, I never meant for this to happen.”
“Of course you didn’t.”
“It’s just that no one has control over who they fall in love with.”
What Lily had just told Ming should have relieved her own guilt over what she and Jason were doing. Evan had moved on. He was in love. If he ever discovered what was happening between her and Jason, Evan should be completely accepting. After all, he’d fallen for her sister. All Ming was doing was getting pregnant with Jason’s child. It wasn’t as if they were heading down the path to blissfully-ever-after.
Struck by the disparity between the perfect happiness of every couple she knew and the failure of her own love life, Ming’s heart ached. Her throat closed as misery battered her. Her longing for a man she could never have and her inability to let him go trapped her. It wasn’t enough to have Jason as her best friend. She wanted to claim him as her lover and the man she’d spend the rest of her life committed to. On her current path, Ming wasn’t sure how she was ever going to find her way out of her discontent, but since she wasn’t the sort who moldered in self-pity, she’d better figure it out.
*
Unwinding in her office after a hectic day of appointments, Ming rechecked the calendar where she’d been keeping track of her fertility cycle for the past few months. According to her history, her period should have started today.
Excitement raced through her. She could be pregnant. For a second she lost the ability to breathe. Was she ready for this? Months of dreaming and hoping for this moment hadn’t prepared her for the reality of the change in her life between one heartbeat and the next.
Ming stared at her stomach. Did Jason’s child grow inside her? She caught herself mid-thought. This was her child. Not hers and Jason’s. She had to stop fooling herself that they were going to be a family. She and Jason were best friends who wanted very different things out of life. They were not a couple. Never would be.
“Are you still here?” Terry leaned into the room and flashed his big white smile. “I thought you had a wedding rehearsal to get to.”
Ming nodded. “I’m leaving in ten minutes. The church is only a couple miles away.”
“Did those numbers I gave you make you feel better or worse?”
Earlier in the week Terry had opened up the practice’s books so she could see all that went into the running of the business. Although part of her curriculum at dental school had involved business courses that would help her if she ever decided to open her own practice, her college days were years behind her.
“I looked them over, but until I get Jason to walk me through everything, I’m still feeling overwhelmed.”
“Understandable. Let me know if you have any questions.”
After Terry left, Ming grabbed her purse and headed for the door. Until five minutes ago, she’d been looking forward to this weekend. Max and Rachel were a solid couple.
Thanks to Susan Case, Max’s mother, the wedding promised to be a magical event. After both Nathan and Sebastian had skipped formal ceremonies—Nathan marrying Emma on a Saint Martin beach and Sebastian opting for an impromptu Las Vegas elopement—Susan had threatened Max with bodily harm if she was denied this last chance at a traditional wedding.
Most brides would have balked at so much input from their future mother-in-law, but Rachel’s only family was her sister, and Ming thought the busy employment agency owner appreciated some of the day-to-day details being handled by Max’s mother.
When Ming arrived at the church, most of the wedding party was already there. She set her purse in the last pew and let her gaze travel up the aisle to where the minister was speaking to Max. As the best man, Jason stood beside him, listening intently. Ming’s breath caught at the sight of him clad in a well-cut dove-gray suit, white shirt and pale green tie.
Was she pregnant? It took effort to keep her fingers from wandering to her abdomen. When she’d embarked on this journey three weeks ago, she’d expected that achieving her goal would bring her great joy and confidence. Joy was there, but it was shadowed by anxiety and doubt.
She wasn’t second-guessing her decision to become a mom, but she no longer wanted to do it alone. Jason would freak out if he discovered how much she wanted them to be a real family. Husband, wife, baby. But that’s not how he’d visualized his future, and she had no right to be disappointed that they wanted different things.
As if her troubled thoughts had reached out to him, Jason glanced in her direction. When their eyes met, some of her angst eased. Raising his eyebrows, he shot her a crooked grin. Years of experience gave her insight into exactly what he was thinking.
Max couldn’t be talked out of this crazy event.
She pursed her lips and shook her head.
You shouldn’t even try. He’s found his perfect mate.
“Are you two doing that communicating-without-words thing again?”
Ming hadn’t noticed Missy stop beside her. With her red hair and hazel eyes, Sebastian’s wife wore chocolate brown better than anyone Ming had ever met.
“I guess we are.” Ming’s gaze returned to Jason.
“Have you ever thought about getting together? I know you were engaged to his brother and all, but it seems as if you’d be perfect for each other.”
“Not likely.” Ming had a hard time summoning energy to repeat the tired old excuses. She was stuck in a rut where Jason was concerned, with no clue how to get out. “We’re complete opposites.”
“No one is more different than Sebastian and I.” Missy grinned. “It can be a lot of fun.”
Based on the redhead’s saucy smile, Ming had little trouble imagining just how much fun the newlyweds were having. She sighed. Prior conversations with Emma, Missy and Rachel had shown her that not everyone’s road to romance was straight and trouble-free, but Ming knew she wasn’t even on a road with Jason. More like a faint deer trail through the woods.
“He doesn’t want to fall in love.”
Missy surveyed the three Case men as the minister guided them into position near the front of the church. “So make him.”
Rather than lecture Missy about how hopeless it was to try changing Jason’s mind about love and marriage
, Ming clamped her lips together and forced a smile. What good would it do to argue with a newly married woman who was a poster child for happily ever after?
As she practiced her walk up the aisle on Nathan’s arm, she had a hard time focusing on the minister’s instructions. Casting surreptitious glances at Jason, standing handsome and confident beside Max, she fought against despair as she realized there would never be a day when the man she loved waited for her at the front of the church. She would never wear an elegant gown of white satin and shimmering pearls and speak the words that would bind them together forever.
“And then you separate, each going to your place.” The minister signaled to the organist. “Here the music changes to signal that the bride is on her way.”
While everyone watched Rachel float up the aisle, her happiness making it appear as if her feet didn’t touch the ground, Ming stared down at the floor and fought against the tightness in her throat. She was going to drive herself mad pining for an ending that could never be.
Twenty minutes later, the wedding party was dismissed. They trooped back down the aisle, two-by-two, with Nathan and Ming bringing up the rear.
“How’s Emma doing?” she asked. Nathan’s wife was five days past her due date.
“She’s miserable.” Nathan obviously shared his wife’s discomfort. “Can’t wait for the baby to come.”
“I didn’t see her. Is she here tonight?”
“No.” A muscle jumped in his jaw. “I told her to stay home and rest up. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.” Nathan scowled. “But if I know her, she’s working on the last of her orders to get them done before the baby arrives.”
Nathan’s wife made some of the most unique and beautiful jewelry Ming had ever seen. Missy’s wedding set was one of her designs. From what Jason had told her, Max and Rachel’s wedding rings had been created by Emma as well.
“I’m worried she’s not going to slow down even after the baby arrives,” Nathan continued, looking both exasperated and concerned. “She needs to take better care of herself.”
“Why, when she has you to take care of her?”
Nathan gave her a wry grin. “I suppose you’re right. See you tomorrow.”
Smiling thoughtfully at Nathan’s eagerness to get home to his wife, Ming went to fetch her purse. When she straightened, she discovered Jason standing beside her. He slipped his fingers through hers and squeezed gently.
“I missed you this week.”
Shivers danced along her spine at his earnest tone. “I missed you, too.”
More than she cared to admit. Although they’d talked every day on the phone, their conversations had revolved around the dental practice financials and other safe topics. They hadn’t discussed that Evan was in love with Lily, and Ming wasn’t sure Jason even knew.
“I don’t suppose I could talk you into coming home with me tonight,” he murmured, drawing her after the departing couples.
Although tempted by his offer, she shook her head. “I promised Lily we’d hang out, and I have an early appointment to get my hair and makeup done tomorrow.” She didn’t like making up excuses, but after what she’d started to suspect earlier, the only thing she wanted to do was take the pregnancy test she’d bought on the way to the church and see if it was positive. “Tomorrow after the reception.”
Jason walked her to her car and held her door while she got behind the wheel. He lingered with his hand on the door. The silence between them grew heavy with expectation. Ming’s heart slowed. The crease between his brows told her that something troubled him.
She was the first to break the silence. “Evan’s in love with Lily and she’s decided to stay in Houston.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I’m thrilled.”
“I mean about how Evan feels about her.”
With a determined smile she shook her head. “I’m happy for him and Lily.”
“You’re really okay with it?”
“I’m going to be a mom. That’s what I’m truly excited about. That’s where I need to put all my energy.”
“Because you know I’m here if you want to talk.”
“Really, I’m fine,” she said, keeping her voice bright and untroubled. She knew he was just being a good friend, but she couldn’t stop herself from wishing his concern originated in the same sort of love she felt for him. “See you at the restaurant.”
He stared at her for a long moment more before stepping back. “Save me a seat.”
And with that, he closed her car door.
Eleven
Jason had never been so glad to be done with an evening. Sitting beside Ming while toast after toast had been made to the bride and groom, he’d never felt more alone. But it’s what he wanted. A lifetime with no attachments. No worries that he’d ever become so despondent over losing a woman that he’d want to kill himself.
Logic and years of distance told him that his father had been in an extremely dark place after the death of his wife and daughter. But there was no reason to believe that Jason would ever suffer such a devastating loss. And if he did, wasn’t he strong enough to keep from sinking into a hole and never coming out?
And yet, his reaction to that photo of her dancing hadn’t exactly been rational. Neither had the way he’d demanded that she declare herself to be his. Oh, he’d claimed that he didn’t want to lead her on. The truth was he was deathly afraid of losing her.
“I’m heading home.” Ming leaned her shoulder against his. Her breath brushed his neck with intoxicating results. “Can you walk me to my car?”
“I think I’ll leave, too.” The evening was winding down. Sebastian and Missy had already departed.
As soon as they cleared the front door, he took her hand. Funny how such a simple act brought him so much contentment. “Did I mention you look beautiful tonight?”
“Thank you.” Only her eyes smiled at him. The rest of her features were frozen into somber lines.
They reached her car and before he could open her door, she put a hand on his arm. “This is probably not the best place for this…” She glanced around, gathered a breath and met his gaze. Despite her tension, joy glittered in her dark eyes. “I’m pregnant.”
Her declaration crushed the air from his lungs. He’d been expecting it, but somehow now, knowing his child grew inside her, he was beyond thrilled.
“You’re sure?”
“As sure as an early pregnancy test can be.” Her fingers bit into his arm. “I took one at the restaurant.” She laughed unsteadily. “How crazy is that? I couldn’t even wait until I got home.”
Jason wrapped his arms around her and held her against him. A baby. Their baby. He wanted to rush back into the restaurant and tell everyone. They were going to be parents. Reality penetrated his giddy mood. Except she didn’t want to share the truth with anyone. She intended to raise the child on her own.
“I’m glad you couldn’t wait,” he told her, his words muffled against her hair. “It’s wonderful news.”
From chest to thigh, her long, lean body was aligned with his. How many months until holding her like this he’d feel only her rounded stomach? Or would he even get to snuggle with her, her head resting on his shoulder, her arms locked around his waist?
“Of course, this means…”
Knowing what was coming next, Jason growled. “You aren’t seriously going to break up with me on the eve of Max’s wedding.”
“Break up with you?” She tipped her head back so he could see her smile, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. “That would require us to be dating.”
But they’d sworn never to explore that path. Would they miss a chance to discover that the real reason they were such good friends was because they were meant to be together?
Are you listening to yourself? What happened to swearing you’d never fall in love?
Frustrated by conflicting desires, Jason’s hold on her tightened. Her breath hitched as he lowered his head and claimed her mouth. Heat flared b
etween them. Their tongues tangled while delicious sensations licked at his nerves. She was an endless feast for his senses. A balm for his soul. She challenged him and made him a better person. And now she was pregnant with his child. They could be happy together.
All he needed to do was let her in.
He broke off the kiss and dragged his lips across her cheek. What existed in his heart was hers alone. He could tell her and change everything.
The silence between them lengthened. Finally, Ming slid her palm down his heaving chest and stepped back.
“We’re just good friends who happen to be sleeping together until one of us got pregnant,” she said, her wry tone at odds with her somber eyes.
“And we promised nothing would get in the way of our friendship.”
She sagged against him. “And it won’t.”
“Not ever.”
*
Our baby.
Jason’s words the previous night had given her goose bumps. Almost ten hours later, Ming rubbed her arms as the sensation lingered.
My baby.
She tried to infuse the declaration with conviction, but couldn’t summon the strength. Not surprising, when his claim filled her with unbridled joy. It was impossible to be practical when her heart was singing and she felt lighter than air.
Pulling into the parking lot of the salon Susan Case had selected based on their excellent reputation, Ming spent a few minutes channeling her jubilation over her baby news into happiness for Rachel and Max. It was easy to do.
The bride was glowing as she chatted with her sister, Hailey, Missy and Susan. As Ming joined the group, two stylists took charge of Rachel, escorting her to a chair near the back. Rachel had let her hair grow out from the boyish cut she’d had when Ming had first met her. For her wedding look, the stylists pinned big loops of curls all over her head and attached tiny white flowers throughout.
Unaccustomed to being the center of attention, Rachel endured being fussed over with good grace. Watching the stylists in action, Ming was certain the bride would be delighted with the results.
Because all the bridesmaids had long hair, they were styled with the front pulled away from their face and soft waves cascading down their back. When the four girls lined up so Susan could take a photo, the resulting picture was feminine and romantic.