Secrets (The Secret Series Book 1)

by James, Jax

  Contents

  Title Page

  Chapter one

  Chapter two

  Chapter three

  Chapter four

  Chapter five

  Chapter six

  Chapter seven

  Chapter eight

  Chapter nine

  Chapter ten

  Chapter eleven

  Chapter twelve

  Acknowledgements

  About the Author

  Secrets

  Secrets Series Part One

  Jax James

  Chapter One

  I’ve never been known as a social butterfly, but recently I have been branching out my interests into other avenues of my sexuality. I don’t know why I find comfort in strangers’ arms, but I suppose it comes from a deep seated fear of getting into a relationship. We all have secrets and my co-workers would be shocked to know what I did at this time of the month.

  I sit here in this bar and look around at my possible conquests, knowing that there is no possible way that I could possibly make the first move, but usually that’s not an issue. “I was sitting across the room and I noticed that you needed a drink.” It wasn’t surprising that this hunk of man was looking at me like I was a piece of meat, because frankly I had dressed the part of a seductress with a white dress that hugged every curve of my body. “I hope you don’t this is too bold, but can I offer to buy you a drink?” It was dangerous to be here alone, but it was that danger I craved.

  I could easily see that he was a player and he thought he knew exactly what to say to get a woman to drop her panties. Seeing through his false façade was easy for me, as he was almost like an open book with every page seeking the conquest of a female form. I’m not usually one to dress this provocatively and I only wear this type of attire when I go out on the hunt. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel and one look in my direction and they know that I am looking for some action.

  “I’d like to have that drink with you.” Before long that drink had turned into three more and it wasn’t long before we were stumbling down the sidewalk towards his loft in the distance. He was one of these artists, quite put together with muscles in all the right places, not to mention his eyes were constantly darting in my direction. No doubt he was undressing me with his eyes and I had to admit that I did like the attention.

  This only happens about once a month. Usually I am the mousy type that wears staid clothing and horned rim glasses. This is my only way to find a little bit of excitement, not to mention a sexual release that would feed my desire for that month. Most times I can satisfy those cravings with a few well placed toys inside of my night stand. I’ll say that I am very selective and this man fits the bill for a delicious piece of candy worth consuming.

  We barely made it into his loft, before he was pressing me up against the door and giving me a good idea of what he was working with below the waist. “I think that you’re very sexy and I’ll enjoy exploring every part of you from the top to the bottom.” As he was talking, he was busily unzipping the zipper on the back of my white dress and then pulling the straps down over my shoulders.

  He easily had my dress falling onto the floor and soon was making short work of my bra. Dipping his head into my C cup cleavage, I felt his tongue play with my nipples, before lightly biting on the tips and moving his hand towards the soaking material of my panties. “I’ve never went home with a stranger before.” I was lying of course, but to feed his ego, I was willing to say some little white lies. “Please be gentle with me and tell me about the pleasures I’ve been missing. I want you to know that I don’t expect anything more than tonight and I don’t want to make this into more than it is.”

  I’ve always understood the male psyche, although they really only think about one thing and will do practically anything to get it. It’s nice to know that I can play the game, but sometimes I feel sick to my stomach to realize just what kind of measures these men go to. They are almost worse than women, primping and making themselves more desirable, but I suppose both members of the species do the same thing. “I’ll make sure that you have a really good time and I don’t mean to brag, but I’m very good with my tongue.” I’d no reason to doubt him, although most men seem to think that they are good in that department, but most often than not they are very under equipped.

  I think that’s the reason why some women go jumping the fence, as they know that the only person that really knows what is going on down there is somebody of like mind and gender.

  His finger was playing along my wet slit, bringing the finger out and pushing that lone digit into my mouth, before dipping back into the source of where it came from for more. “AHHH…I think that it’s time that you show me where the bedroom is or at least the bed.” He led me by the hand, naked from the waist up over towards this king size bed with a black duvet covering the top.

  Lying back on the pillows, I watched with bated breath as he began to strip down, showing me that what I had suspected all along was correct. His body was a work of art and I could see in the corner of the loft that there was a makeshift gym that he had utilized to make him into the specimen of man that he is today. It was too bad that he was only interested in one thing, because there was a small part in me that thought that we could be more than just a physical acquaintance.

  “I love your body and if you don’t mind I think that I’d like to do the rest on my own.” A man is a sucker for a woman that takes the lead and I was showing such with my hands opening up his pants and pulling them down to his ankles. His prominent 8 inch cock was displayed inside his briefs and I pulled them down just so that I could see the head poking over the top.

  He moved down so that my feet were over his shoulders, as he looked at me with a hunger that would not be denied. I felt his hot breath, and then his tongue began to penetrate the folds, making me arch my back and hold onto the headboard from behind. “Yes…do it.” Once again, I found that he was not up to the task and it took my own well placed thumb to get the job done. If I found a man that was worth his salt and could make me come with just his tongue, I imagine that I would grab onto him and never let him go. It was then when I finally came to the conclusion that doing this was getting old.

  I’m not sure what I was thinking but doing something like this without a relationship just didn’t feel right anymore. Putting my hands down, I stopped him from getting any further, seeing the look of surprise and shock on his face, as I jumped off the bed and gathered up my clothes. I had been doing the same self destructive crap for the past five years, ever since an old boyfriend broke my heart and made me never want to put myself in that position again.

  It was in that moment that I looked down and saw his face between my legs, not to mention the cheesy mirror over the bed, both making me realize how unsatisfying and empty all of these one night stands really were.

  “Was it something I said?” I felt bad for him, but I also knew that he wouldn’t be alone for long.

  “It’s not you…it’s me.” I couldn’t believe that I’d actually used that old tired cliché, but then again it was the truth and I couldn’t hide from it anymore. Lust and love was two entirely different things and I was now finally seeing that I wanted more than just that physical connection. I wasn’t going to be satisfied unless I could find the total package and I wouldn’t settle for anything less. After all, I was worthy of love, no matter if my heart was broken or not. It was time to stop hiding and once again put my heart on my sleeve, because finding love was worth the risk of being disappointed.

  I was so blind and I had let my head and latent desires dictate what I was going to do. That was not going to happen again, and I think it was finally time to stop looking fo
r the love of the moment and start opening myself up to the possibility of something more meaningful.

  Chapter Two

  It was about 5:00 AM in the morning and barely anybody was on the streets at this time of day. I really did feel like I was taking that walk of shame, yet I felt good that I was able to pull myself away before I went too far this time.

  A new day was here and I was going to make the most of it, finding myself smiling and skipping a little, knowing that I had finally turned a corner in my life. It might’ve been a baby step, but it was a step that was needed. I was just going to have to bury myself in my work as a librarian, hoping that the man of my dreams will come in a sweep me off my feet to a fairy tale romance that would be worth the sacrifice of putting myself on the shelf.

  I heard the sound of somebody screaming and I don’t know why but I decided to see if I could be of any help. A young Asian woman was running down the street with a look of desperation on her face. She was constantly looking over her shoulder, but when I looked in the direction that she was looking at there was nobody there.

  I was about to say something and even had my hand up to indicate that I wanted her to stop, when she stepped off the curb and the sound of screeching tires reached my ears. It was a very surreal moment, as I watched this city bus hit her sending her flying into the street. It was like watching everything going in slow motion and she actually bounced a couple of times before coming to rest on the sidewalk.

  It wasn’t like the bus driver had a chance to stop, because she walked out into the middle of the street without even looking where she was going.

  Kneeling down at her head I pushed her dark hair out of her eyes to see that there was a trickle of blood coming out of her mouth. Her jeans were stained with grease and whatever else that was on the surface of the pavement. She was coughing and bringing up that same blood, which could only indicate that she had internal bleeding and would need emergency surgery. I grabbed for my phone, when I realized that I left it in that man’s apartment. I then turned to see if there was anybody else that was willing to render aid.

  “I already called 911 and they said an ambulance will be here shortly.” I nodded my head at the white haired driver with what I can only assume was a Yosemite Sam mustache.

  I heard her saying something and moved my ear into position, so that I could listen to her. She was Japanese and she was using her native tongue to say a few words that didn’t make any sense to me. I didn’t speak the language and then she made one final sigh to indicate that this was her death knell. Her eyes were wide open and I laid her head on my lap, when suddenly a black sedan came screaming into the intersection.

  A man with a bald head and sunglasses jumped out wearing a black suit, before coming over and kneeling down. He put his hand on her neck and then subsequently began to search her pockets. I wanted to say something, but nothing came out of my mouth and it was almost as if his very eyes showed a darkness that made my blood run cold. He didn’t say a thing, but finished what he was doing and ran back to the car before peeling out with another person in the driver’s seat. It was the strangest thing that I’d ever seen, but I suppose there are all sorts of weirdos in the city.

  He was probably trying to steal her wallet or possibly even a cell phone or jewelry that she may have had in her possession. At the very least, I saw that he didn’t take anything, but that didn’t negate that creepy feeling that he gave me when he looked at me.

  The ambulance arrived, but there was really nothing that they could do, considering that she had no pulse and had been that way for some time. They called the time of death at the scene of the accident and then the police arrived just in time to take a statement from me.

  “I’m sorry that you had to see something like this Miss Miles and if there is anything else that I need, I’ll be sure to get in touch with you.” I could see that this young officer was just going through the motions, no doubt thinking that this was some kind of accident or possibly a suicide. I didn’t think it was either of those things and from the look on her face, she was terrified out of her mind.

  Dusting myself off, I looked down at my dress to see that it was bloodstained and even my hands had her blood painting the surface. The first thing that I was going to do when I got home was to take a long hot shower. It couldn’t possibly be enough to wash away the image of her death and the way that she was looking at me like she wanted to say something of great importance. I still remembered her words, but the dialect was unfamiliar to me, as my only language was English.

  After washing off the degradation of an almost one night stand, I got into my work attire, which consisted of a skirt that went well below the knees, not to mention a buttoned up white blouse that went all the way up to my neck. My brown hair was pulled back into a bun and I found my glasses sitting exactly where I left them on the night stand. I didn’t have to be to work for a couple of hours, so I lay down on my bed fully clothed and had one of my needed catnaps.

  I think I fell asleep and dreamed of her grasping onto my wrists and saying those few words over and over again like they were supposed to mean something to me. I aroused from my slumber when I heard some kind of rattling noise. It was then that I realized that somebody was trying to break into my apartment and I grabbed onto the baseball bat that my father gave me when I moved out. He told me that it was almost as good as a gun, as long as I used it the right way and didn’t panic. He also told me that a bark is almost as good as a bite, which I was now going to find out firsthand if it was true or not.

  The doorknob was moving back and forth at the front door and I stood there with the baseball bat in hand “I just called the police and if you try to break in I’m going to shoot you in self defense.” The doorknob stopped moving and I saw what had to be a shadow underneath my door. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if I have to. The police department is only a couple of minutes away and they can be here within minutes.” That seemed to get through to whoever it was, because that shadow moved away from the door and I heard the door to the stairwell opening and closing down the hallway.

  I didn’t even think that I was breathing, and it appeared that I was actually holding my breath the entire time that all of this was going on. I waited a while longer, before putting my eye up to the peephole, but there was nobody out there. Opening the door slowly, I peered around the corner to see that the hallway was empty and the only sound that could be heard was the flickering light about 10 feet away that sounded like it was going to blow any day.

  There was no time to dwell on any of this, because I had to get to work in the next 15 minutes. I’m glad that I knew the streets as well as I did, because getting around was going to be easier than staying behind all of these yahoos that were stuck in traffic. I didn’t want to be one of those people, but my father had taught me many years ago how to avoid certain obstacles. He also made it a point to tell me that I should get a four wheel drive, because he said that it would be perfect for wintertime.

  I’m glad that he worried about me because having a four wheel drive had gotten me into places that I don’t think I would’ve been able to without it. After all, winter storms here on the eastern coast is not exactly pleasant for anybody, but if you have a four wheel drive you can practically get around anyplace without too much difficulty.

  It wasn’t exactly winter and it had to be close to 90°, and that was just in the shade. It was one of those May mornings that you could see the mist rising from the pavement and if I didn’t know any better, I would think that you would be able to fry an egg on top of the sidewalk. The weatherman was saying that it was unseasonable warm for this time of the year, but nobody was complaining.

  I climbed into my black RAV 4, gunning the engine and moving out onto the side streets. Taking the almost desolate side roads, I was able to avoid the traffic that was most likely piling up on the highway as we speak. Not only was it a May morning, but it was a long weekend, which meant that some had taken the day off to head for their c
ottages for a long overdue rest from the daily grind.

  I noticed a black SUV behind me, which was a little unusual considering that this road is barely used anymore. They haven’t use this street, since the overpass was built a few years ago, making a lot of these small businesses on this road begin to fail. They were accustomed to the flow of traffic and depended on that much needed revenue to make ends meet. Unfortunately, a lot of the small businesses had fallen on hard times and you could look on the side of the road to see several of these establishments with for sale or for lease signs in the window.

  Thinking about my past childhood living in this area, I began to think about old times and how nice it was to go camping in the middle of the week. My father would come and get me out of school early on a Friday and he wouldn’t bring me back until Monday morning.

  Looking in my mirror, I see this same SUV getting closer, until finally it is practically bumper to bumper with me. I speed up, but it matches my speed precisely, so I open up my window and use my arm to indicate to the driver that he could pass.

  He doesn’t do that and continues to dog me, until we drive out of the residential area and then he smashes into my back bumper. I felt the jarring impact and it made me hit the steering wheel with my chest and it was only by good luck and good management that the airbags didn’t go off.

  Gunning the engine, I felt my lead begin to get longer, but then he pressed the accelerator and was on me within seconds. I think that this was some sort of road rage gotten out of hand and I was going to have to do something drastic to end this cat and mouse pursuit. “Go around me….what the hell are you doing?” I was talking to myself and I knew that there was no way that the person behind me could hear what I was saying. So I resorted to hand signals that weren’t exactly subtle.

  I’m not one to use my hands that emphatically, but he was giving me no choice. Each time that he smashed into my bumper, my heart would almost leap out of my chest and I would look at my steering wheel to make sure that the airbag wasn’t going to come out and smash me in the face. I was still some way from work, but I knew of several old country roads that were not exactly roads at all. These were paths that were used by recreational vehicles like ATV‘s, quad runners and anything else that could pass for off road pleasure.