by E. L. Todd
“Good. I was driving back to my apartment regardless.”
She chuckled. “Then why did you ask?”
“I like to give you the illusion you have a choice, even if you don’t. Makes me seem like a gentleman.”
“If you care that much, you could just be a gentleman.”
After a quick consideration, I shook my head. “Nah. Not my style.”
She chuckled then moved her hand to my thigh. The simple touch brought my cock to life. The affection was gentle, borderline juvenile. But when it came to this woman, that was all I needed.
I parked the car in the underground garage, and then we took the elevator to the top floor. Once we were inside, the clothes dropped into piles on the floor, and we got naked under the sheets. It was a relief to fool around and then shove myself inside her without pausing to get a condom on.
And she felt incredible.
I took her from behind, staring at that beautiful ass and that gorgeous asshole. She was so wet she was practically slippery. Now that I was used to the unbelievable feeling of her bare pussy, I could control myself and last longer. I got to really enjoy the sex, to savor the feeling of her skin against mine.
Then I made her come just as hard as I did the first time we were together. But instead of letting myself go, I turned her on her back and thrust into her even harder, wanting to make her sore the following day.
She gripped my ass and pulled me harder into her, panting with moans that did amazing things to my ego. She tightened again, coating my cock in her come. “I want you to come inside me…”
“Here it comes…” I smashed my headboard into the wall as I pounded into home plate. Like lightning burst through my veins, I was white-hot and burning. My body reached the heavens as the most exquisite feeling came over me. I was hot and I was cold. I was dead and I was alive. “Fuck.” I released inside her, giving her every drop and filling her to the brim. Nothing made me feel more like a man than coming inside a woman.
She wrapped her legs around my waist and pulled me in for a final kiss. “That was amazing…”
“You make me amazing.”
She kissed the sweat on my chest then ran her hands up my back, massaging the areas that she previous scratched.
I didn’t want to pull out of my new home, but I was tired and I knew she was too. I slowly pulled my soft dick out then lay beside her. The bedroom was already dark because I never bothered to turn on the lights.
She immediately moved into my side and hooked her arm around my waist, her hair all over the place.
I was hot and sweaty, as I usually was after sex. I didn’t want to cuddle with anyone, and I usually told them to stick to their side of the bed. But I didn’t mind having Austen beside me. She was soft, and she smelled good. So I let the affection linger. “Good night, Stone Cold.”
She didn’t say anything back because she was already asleep.
***
When I woke up the following morning, she was tucked into my side and our arms were tangled together. Her hair was in my face, and my leg was hooked around hers. It seemed like we rolled around all night—but we always stayed together.
I woke up first and blinked my eyes to adjust to the morning light. She smelled the same as she did last night, but now a hint of sex was ingrained in her skin. I liked smelling myself on her.
She woke up next, stretching beside me until she opened her eyes. She looked at me, her blue eyes still lazy with sleep. After a few seconds of taking me in, she smiled. “Morning, sexy man.”
“Morning, sexy lady.”
She pulled the sheet over her shoulder again. “Jesus Christ, this bed is comfortable.”
“Macy’s.”
“Can I rent it out?”
“Sure. I’ll collect in the form of sex.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and leaned in for a kiss.
“That’s a fair price. Consider it done.” She kissed me back, not caring that neither one of us had brushed our teeth.
“After some morning sex, you want to get brunch?”
“Brunch, huh?”
“Yeah. You know, breakfast and lunch. I’m surprised you’ve never heard of it.”
She smacked my arm. “Yes, I’ve heard of it. I’m just surprised.”
“Why?”
“Kinda girly.”
“It’s not girly when I’m sipping a mimosa while staring at a beautiful woman across from me.”
“And after some good morning sex beforehand.”
“Exactly.” I moved on top of her and got down to business, bareback.
After we finished, we threw on our clothes and walked down the block to a breakfast place. She fixed her hair with just her fingers and didn’t wear makeup. It was one of the rare times when I saw her with a fresh face, clean skin without dark colors around her eyes. I liked it a lot, actually. All she did was brush her teeth—with my toothbrush. With minimal effort, she looked amazing.
We got a table and ordered our mimosas. She ordered the French toast, and I ordered the waffles. We decided to split a plate of eggs, bacon, and toast since neither one of us had the appetite to get a whole meal ourselves.
I wore jeans and a black t-shirt, back to my normal attire. Wearing a tie, even for an afternoon, was aggravating. I didn’t like it at all. If I could take it a step further and just wear my boxers everywhere I went, I would. I’d probably get arrested, though. “Have a good time last night?”
“Actually, yeah.”
“I’m glad Nathan didn’t ruin it for you.”
“I would let him ruin anything for me—again.” She drank half of her glass then licked her lips. “Alcohol first thing in the morning…I love Sundays.”
I tapped my glass against hers before I drank mine. “What did he say to you?” I didn’t ask her last night because there wasn’t an opportunity. Too many people were around.
“That he wanted to talk…like last time.”
“Committed, isn’t he?”
She stared at her glass, her eyes falling and the sadness creeping into her features.
“What is it?”
“He asked me to have dinner with him tonight.” She raised her eyes again and looked at me. “And I said yes.”
Something painful unleashed in my chest, although I couldn’t identify what it was. Was I angry because I was protective of her? She’d become one of the closest people to me, and I cared a lot about her. I didn’t want her anywhere near someone who didn’t deserve her. Or was it something else?
She read my expression and understood my feelings about it. “I know it’s not the smartest idea—”
“Because it’s the dumbest.” I wouldn’t sugarcoat anything with her. She always got the truth from me—no matter how cold it was.
“But he keeps pursuing me, and I need some closure anyway. I’ve been trying to convince myself for the past few years that I’m okay…but I’m obviously not. I think I may need this as much as he does.”
“I don’t agree with that.”
Her eyes looked into mine, the usual strength absent. “You’re mad at me…”
“Not mad.”
“Upset?”
“No.”
“Then what?”
“Disappointed,” I said quietly. “You’re too good for him, sweetheart.”
“I’m not getting back together with him. I’m just having dinner with him. I’m just talking to him.”
Maybe I was skipping ahead and making unfair assumptions. “I suppose that’s true.”
“I’m always going to want to know what happened between us. I’m always going to want to know why he left.”
“I can make it very simple for you,” I said coldly. “He didn’t love you, Austen. When a man loves a woman, he doesn’t even look at other women. Trust me on that.” When Rae and I were together, I kept my hands and eyes to myself. My loyalty was undeniable. To run off with another woman, especially her best friend, was despicable.
My words obviously wounded her because she b
roke eye contact and looked out the window, the sadness obvious in her expression. Her fingers played with the stem of her glass, and she clearly didn’t feel comfortable around me anymore.
I was such an asshole.
“That was out of line,” I said quietly. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” she said quickly. “Never be sorry for being honest.”
“It was still insensitive to say. I know this is hard for you.”
“Really, it’s okay.” She drank the mimosa then finally looked at me again. Now her look was more guarded, like I might say something to wound her again.
I still felt bad. “If you think it’ll make you feel better, then you should go.”
“Yeah?”
I didn’t agree with that at all, but I was trying to be reasonable. “It’s your decision, Austen. I’ll respect whatever you decide.” As a friend, I was supposed to be supportive. I shouldn’t remind her that the love of her life didn’t want her. If someone reminded me that Rae loved Zeke more than she loved me, I wouldn’t feel good about it.
“I’m gonna go,” she said firmly. “I just hope something good comes out of it. At the bare minimum, I’m sure he’ll leave me alone.”
“And if he doesn’t, I’ll take care of it.” I might not be her real boyfriend, but I would still do a damn good job of looking out for her. “Did he ask about me when you two were talking?”
“I told him you were my boyfriend.”
“And did he have anything to say to that?”
“He seemed surprised, but no, he didn’t have anything to say.”
I guess I was hoping for more. I was hoping for jealousy or anger, not that it made any real difference. After all, our relationship wasn’t real. It was just a hoax. The fucking and the passion were real, but all the emotions underneath that were nonexistent.
“Did Liam say anything?”
Her words dragged me from my thoughts. “He asked me if I was seeing you, and I said I was posing as your boyfriend. I said we were good friends who spent time together. I think he picked up on what I was saying.”
“And he was fine with that?” she asked in surprise.
“He told me to be good to you, but that was it. Then we talked about sports.”
She chuckled in a sarcastic way. “Wow. I guess I’m not surprised.”
“Are you disappointed?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“No…a little. I mean, I don’t want to have an older, protective brother. But, it doesn’t really seem like he cares. If some cunt left him the way Nathan left me, you bet your ass I’d slug her in the face. But Liam saw him for the first time at the wedding and didn’t seem to care.”
“Maybe because he didn’t want to embarrass you and cause a scene.”
“No, he just isn’t emotionally invested. And that’s fine. That’s just how we are. I’m not going to complain. I’m lucky I have a brother at all.”
Rae always complained about Rex being up in her business, but now that I’d experienced siblings less involved in each other’s lives, I realized Rae really did have a good thing. She was close with her brother. They were closer than family—if such a thing existed. Rex would do anything for her—in a heartbeat. “What do you mean you’re lucky to have a brother at all?”
“Well…” She finished her mimosa then left the empty glass at the end of the table so the waiter knew she needed a refill. “I’m guessing Liam never told you, but…I’m adopted.”
The words hit me in the face, but they didn’t sink into my brain. I immediately thought of the night I met her. Liam told me she was an MIT graduate, and when I laid eyes on her, I noticed she looked nothing like Liam. They had nothing in common, not even their features. Now that she’d shared this truth with me, I realized it made complete sense. “No…he didn’t mention it.”
“My adoptive parents took me in when I was eleven. Before that, I lived in a foster home.”
From what I knew about her, she didn’t seem to have a rough upbringing. She was so soft around the edges, so happy and uplifting. Never once did I wonder if she struggled with any kind of hardship. I just assumed she was a beautiful genius who had it easy in life. I couldn’t have been more wrong. “Wow…what happened to your parents?”
“My mom died in childbirth, so my dad kept me until I was about two. But then he realized he didn’t want to raise a baby without my mom…so he gave me away.” She spoke easily, like we were discussing something less intense than her childhood. “I never found out who he was or how I could track him down. He made sure all his information was hidden.”
Now I really felt like an asshole for what I’d just said to her. “I’m sorry.”
She shrugged. “My adoptive parents are great. I honestly couldn’t ask for better folks to raise me. They’ve given me everything I needed, you know, emotionally. I know they love me like their own. But I’ve always suspected Liam always sees me as…his adopted sister. Not as his blood sister.”
“He speaks very highly of you. I know he cares about you.”
“Of course he does,” she said quickly. “I’m not saying he doesn’t. But…” She looked out the window again as she rubbed her lips together. “I just know if I were his real blood relative, he would be different with me. I can’t really explain it, but I know it’s true. And that’s fine. I know I can’t change the way he feels.”
Now that I knew this information, I understood what she was talking about. Liam’s indifference toward my seeing his sister seemed a little too laid-back for me. And the fact that he didn’t care about seeing Nathan at the wedding was also alarming. I wanted to tell her she was wrong, but I couldn’t do that without lying. “I’m sorry. I wish I had something better to say, but I don’t.”
“I know, Ryker.” She gave me a slight smile. “Underneath all the ruggedness, the amazing sex, and the bossiness, you’re a big sweetheart.”
My mouth automatically fell into a smile. “I don’t know about that…but thank you.”
“Rae is stupid for choosing that other guy. I’m sure she’ll regret it someday.”
She wouldn’t. I could tell her decision was set in stone. The time they spent together when I walked obviously impacted her life in a tremendous way. Zeke must have said all the right things, must have done all the things to win her heart. They’d been friends for so long that it wasn’t surprising. He knew her better than I did—that was certain. “She won’t. That’s fine. I want her to be happy…even if it’s not with me.” Now I looked out the window, feeling as miserable as she did across the table.
We were both broken people, carrying the shards of broken hearts in our pockets. Maybe that was why we got along so well. We saw ourselves in each other, saw the misery reflected in our eyes. I didn’t have to explain myself to her because she completely understood how I felt. We’d both been betrayed by the loves of our lives. It was something that neither one of us could get over, so we clung to each other to feel better—for as long as we could.
Chapter Sixteen
Austen
I could hardly breathe I was so nervous.
Why was I doing this?
Was this a mistake?
Should I just turn around while there was still time?
My heart wouldn’t slow down.
My hands were sweaty as I gripped my clutch. I was almost to the windows of the restaurant when I stopped myself and stared at the road. Taxis and cars drove by, their lights bright now that the sunset had disappeared. My throat was dry, and my stomach was tight with unease.
It would be easy for me to walk away. All I had to do was wave down a cab and disappear. But then I would return to this moment some other time. Nathan would catch me off guard when I least expected it, outside my apartment or when I left work. At least now I knew it was coming.
If I left now, I would regret it.
So I straightened my posture and entered the restaurant, my fearless look back on my face. A part of me wanted to run to Ryker’s apartment and get
lost in the amazing sex we had. He’d become my rock, my home. But I knew he couldn’t fix all of me—just like I couldn’t fix him.
The host directed me to the table where Nathan was already sitting, wearing a collared shirt and a tie. His blond hair was styled nicely, and he greeted me with warm eyes that I hadn’t seen in a long time. He looked at me like I was his world, just the way he did when he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
He rose from his chair to greet me, but I quickly sat down to avoid the hug.
He lowered himself back into the chair, letting the cold brush-off slide. Bread was on the table, and there was a bottle of wine, a Pinot Grigio.
I was surprised he remembered I preferred white over red.
My mouth was still parched, so I quickly looked at my menu and tried to appear calm and collected—even though I was having a mini panic attack. “What’s good here?”
“I’ve gotten the rib eye a few times. Pretty good.” Nathan didn’t dive right into the conversation, which I appreciated. “But I know the prime rib is the best. They’re voted the number one spot for prime rib in Manhattan.”
“Thanks for the tip. I think I’ll get that.”
“Good choice.”
I set the menu down then realized I shouldn’t have made my decision so quickly. Now there was nothing to look at except his handsome face. He had kind eyes, which were innately deceitful since he’d hurt me so much. His chin was shaved, the way I preferred. He stared at me like he could hardly believe I was across from him.
I drank my wine just so I had something to do.
“What did you do today?” he asked, doing his best to break the ice.
“Ryker and I went to brunch.” I wasn’t going to lie just to make Nathan feel more comfortable. “Then we watched a movie.”
He nodded, the kindness in his look fading. “What movie did you watch?”
I didn’t expect him to ask that. “I’m not sure. We didn’t watch much of it.” I drank my wine again, not caring about the cold jab I just made.
Nathan slowly nodded his head, knowing he deserved that in addition to all the other insults I paid him.
“What did you do?” It was a pathetic attempt to make nice. I felt a little guilty for being a bitch to him…even though he deserved it.