“Do not do anything repugnant to you, my love. You are perfect just as you are. I do not care what you wear.”
Caro looked directly into his eyes for the first time since he’d spirited her away from that damnable girl’s school. By god, if the headmistress were only a man he’d demand satisfaction from her for her mistreatment of this lady. The thought of applying a whip to that sadistic body was tempting.
Then Caro directed a full smile at him.
“Thank you, my lord. You offer sage advice. Your sister is my dear friend and I would trust her to do what is best for me.”
He damn near grabbed her in his arms. She was looking at him, if not with the love he wanted, still without the animosity so evident before.
A small step forward. He’d make do with that for now. He strode to her, holding her lightly in his arms and dropping a kiss on her hair.
“Caro, will you ever let me back in your heart? These last weeks have shown me how much you mean to me. I am nothing without you.”
She looked directly into his eyes for a moment while he prayed his contrite and loving soul was on display. Her face softened slightly even as she moved away from him.
“We shall see, my lord. Right now I am bewildered, as well as very tired.”
“Sebastian.” He ground out the word.
She looked at her toes and then raised her eyes to his.
“Sebastian,” she breathed. Her beautiful eyes were clear and guileless.
Sebastian glowed.
“When you have rested perhaps you’d like to walk around the property a little. There is a beautiful wood with quite old trees. We could look for the Yule log and perhaps some mistletoe. And some holly. The woods have them all and we bring them in at Christmastime. It’s the most festive time of the year for both staff and the family.”
Her face lit. “Oh I’d like that above all things. I’ll rest a little and then we’ll go searching. We always had a Yule log when I was smaller.”
“And a kissing bough?” Sebastian wondered if he’d pushed too far but she laughed, a genuine sound of pleasure.
“Do you truly have mistletoe? And red ribbons to tie around it after you’ve made it into a kissing bough?”
“Mistletoe is scarce but there’s some if we search. We’ve always found it and I refuse to believe we can’t find it again.”
“Oh I love the Christmas traditions.”
He grinned. “We all do here at Somerdale. We always make the kissing bough out of mistletoe loaded with as many berries as we can find. The maids find any excuse to be accidentally under a bough when a handsome footman is passing by. Then of course he steals a kiss and one white berry from the mistletoe. So after you rest, dress as warmly as you can. I’ll ask Marianne to loan you boots and a warm coat, as well as heavy leather gloves.”
She looked a little doubtful and he took one of her hands in his.
“You do remember how prickly picking holly can be, don’t you? You wouldn’t want me to be accused of leading a guest to injury, would you? Surely you can borrow the items needed to save me from such criticism?”
She smiled the radiant smile he’d seen too seldom. Certainly at the snowball fight. Now at the thought of picking out a Yule log and some mistletoe. She was completely unspoiled and he loved her for it but he intended to cosset her beyond belief after they were married.
“I’ll be in the room next to yours. Knock when you’ve rested, my love. You will enjoy the superlative woods here and I can hardly wait to show them to you.”
* * * * *
Sooner than he’d expected he heard the murmuring of female voices and knew Caro had wakened and was consulting with Marianne. And not too much longer after that he heard a knock on his door.
Caro stood there, a heavy jacket covering her, boots on her feet, leather gloves in her hand and her eyes as excited as a child’s. He could barely resist the urge to grab her and kiss that shining face but he tamped down his desire. Showing Caro the estate she would someday manage and watching her delight in choosing a Yule log and mistletoe was more important.
Taking her hand, he held it as he walked her down the corridor and the sweeping steps and outside to a brilliantly shining day. Caro was practically skipping by his side, and he decided he’d do nothing but help her enjoy this day.
“If we go out the kitchen door it’s the quickest way to the woods. We might have to search for a while to find a suitable log. Have you rested enough to do a long walk?”
She beamed up at him.
“A long walk in the woods? You can’t imagine what a pleasure that will be.”
He held her elbow, but lightly. He wanted her to feel comfortable in his home, helping him with the Christmas traditions that marked the holiday, undisturbed by his ever-present passion. He was content to watch her delight as they trudged along the wooded path. The heavy snow that had resulted in their meeting had not deeply penetrated the dense trees and was mostly melted. A new light fall made walking through the woods delightful and much in the spirit of the Christmas season.
They found and rejected several logs.
“Not long enough,” he said about one.
“And this one isn’t thick enough. It wouldn’t burn as long as a Yule log should last. I trust you’ve saved charcoal from last year’s log, Sebastian? You know you’ve got to light this year’s from a remnant of the last, don’t you?”
“Of course, you doubting Thomas. I’m well aware of all the Christmas traditions. I’m in charge of lighting the new log. Oh look, that might be the one we want.”
He dragged her to the huge log he’d spotted ignoring the restrictions against holding an unmarried girl’s hand. They both agreed it was the perfect size to last through the Christmas festivities. He tied a yellow rag he’d brought around a branch that sprouted from the huge log and stood back in satisfaction.
As he turned with a grin to rejoice with her on their selection, he saw her eyes filling with moisture and a tear sliding down her cheek. He grabbed her to him, regardless of his resolve to keep his hands off her until she was ready. Or the damned restrictions he had no intention of following.
“Caro, what is it? Have I tired you? I’m an unfeeling brute.”
She pressed against his body as if he were her last refuge.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Sebastian. It’s just all so wonderful, and so much as my life used to be.”
He was afraid to say a word. He didn’t want to shatter the mood but mostly he wanted her to learn to trust him. If he did what his unruly body demanded he might lose her forever.
She wasn’t ready for his passion.
He kissed her eyelids and held her close for a moment. “We still have to find the mistletoe. Are you up to more treasure hunting?”
She raised teary eyes but she was smiling.
“Oh yes. I’m very good at spotting mistletoe. We didn’t have it in our woods but our neighbors did.”
The mistletoe was indeed hard to spot, always high in the trees and hanging in their clusters of white berries. After they’d found and marked several trees, he took her hand and started toward the mansion.
“This will be such a special Christmas, Caro. But you have to be tired. Go rest a little. It will soon be dinnertime. I’ll send some footmen to collect the mistletoe. They’re better than I am at scaling the trees anyway. The blasted stuff is always at the top.”
She laughed and held his hand all the way to the house. She gave him a grateful, lingering look and went to her room.
He stood motionless, his fists clenched. Damn if letting her go hadn’t been the hardest task he’d had for a long while. He was shaking with the temptation to haul her into his room and use his body to persuade her to accept him.
Probably it was better he hadn’t but he wasn’t sure. If he could only be positive she would be his he could stand the delay more patiently.
He’d wait in the library while she rested. As his father’s representative to the House of Lords, he always had
a great deal of work to do. He’d tackle some of it.
* * * * *
He was deep in trying to make sense of the latest speech by a notoriously dim-witted lord when he jerked at the sound of a knock on the door.
At his growled “come in” a footman stepped in.
“My lord. Your father is here. He is waiting for you in the library. I’ve taken him a bottle of port but he refused it. He seems in haste to see you.”
Sebastian groaned. He didn’t need this complication right now. His father would go into a full rage when he learned Sebastian’s plans to marry a French teacher. And on top of that the daughter of a disgraced man, no matter his rank.
He’d undoubtedly heard Sebastian had brought a woman home with him. Well, this problem wasn’t going to go away. He might as well face his father now. He’d not give Caro up. Not a second time. Not ever.
He would not.
To make matters worse, Caro appeared at the door, smiling and fresh from her rest.
“Caro, my love. You look good enough to eat. I can’t stop now but will you wait for me here?”
Raising both Caro’s hands to his lips, he tried to project only his love but he feared his eyes showed his consternation. She must have heard the summons.
Almost in despair, he watched her face form into an expression that once more reverted to the aloof Caro he hoped he’d seen the last of.
“Love, don’t shut me out. I’ll handle this and be with you soon.”
Her eyes lowered and she said nothing. Cursing to himself, he had no choice but to deal with his father and clear the board to pursue Caro honorably.
He knew well what his father wanted.
His marriage to another girl.
A girl he barely knew.
Chapter Four
The marquess was in a tearing temper. That much was immediately apparent when Sebastian walked into the library. His bushy eyebrows, now flecked with a few white hairs, were raised high as he regarded his son and heir.
Sebastian inclined his head respectfully.
“Delighted to see you, sir.”
He wasn’t but Sebastian knew better than to make matters worse by saying anything inflammatory.
“Humph. If that’s true I’ll soon find out. I demand you get rid of this lightskirt you’ve had the audacity to lodge in your house. It’s time to proceed with your understanding with Lady Cecilia. I want you married as soon as possible. Her father and I are in agreement. So give up your doxy and do your duty.”
Sebastian was almost speechless as he stared at his father.
He didn’t know which part of that highly offensive speech to tackle first. But there was really no choice. Calling his love a doxy and a lightskirt had his fists clenching in temper he didn’t want to unleash on his father.
He drew himself straight as he fought down his anger.
“Sir, I trust you will remember I’ve had no part in this scheme to marry me and Lady Cecilia. She’s a charming lady but I have no desire to marry her. And I do wonder which servant of mine reported to you so quickly.”
His father’s snort and incredulous look told Sebastian how far apart their values were.
“What nonsense. Stick to the point. You can have no objection. Men of our class marry for position and advantage. If you insist, set up this woman as your mistress. God knows that would be accepted by our immoral ton. But you will marry Lady Cecilia. You may be my son but I do not have to leave you anything but the entailed property. You’d find that not enough for a man of your extravagant tastes.”
Sebastian looked his father straight in the eye.
“I assure you I’ll make do. And I’ll not marry any other than Caro. I don’t think Lady Cecilia will mind. We barely know each other.”
His father’s apoplectic color and his determined glare worried Sebastian. In no way did he want to widen the gap between himself and his father. But Caro was the link to his humanity, his better self. He knew with a knowledge that reached his soul she was the love of his life. He could not give her up. She might not know yet how much she meant to him but she soon would.
A fleeting thought almost made him smile. What if he alienated his father beyond redemption but still could not convince Caro?
Not possible. He would not let her get away from his loving possession.
The marquess stopped his pacing and turned again to Sebastian.
“Bring this lightsk—” He stilled at Sebastian’s clenched fists and heightened color. “Bring this woman to meet me. Now, if you please. I would at least see what kind of adventuress has ensnared you enough to throw away your inheritance.”
There was the sound of a sharply inhaled breath. Sebastian looked up to see Caro standing in the doorway, her hands to her lips. Her great eyes filled with pain as she shook her head slightly.
As he rushed to her she held him off. “No, Sebastian. Do not say a word. I would speak with your father and tell him he has nothing to fear from this adventuress. I will never marry you against his objections.”
Sebastian grabbed her hands. She stood proudly and wrenched her hands free.
The Marquess of Somerdale swiveled to look at her, whitened and then spoke in a whisper.
“Althea. My Althea. I never dared hope to see you again.”
As Sebastian turned to his father in confusion, Caro shook her head in bewilderment.
“Althea? That was my mother’s name.”
Sebastian moved to her and took her hand. He said nothing but his protective stance was evident.
Caro looked at the marquess with her entire face showing her incomprehension.
“You knew my mother, my lord? I am told I resemble her.”
The marquess answered in a softer voice than Sebastian had ever heard.
“You are her image, my dear. That my son has fallen in love with you is understandable.” He took a deep breath and continued. “I would have married your mother in an instant but she decided otherwise.”
Caro’s questioning eyes prompted the marquess to continue. She felt Sebastian’s start of surprise though he said nothing.
The marquess took her hand and half dragged her to a chair beside one he lowered himself into. His motions were those of someone in a dazed dream but he never freed Caro’s hand.
“I loved her, you know. I thought at the time Althea returned my regard. Just foolish wishing on my part. She certainly looked on me as a trusted friend. I wanted much more than that. I stormed and railed at her when she announced she was in love with your father. She was genuinely distressed but stuck to her resolve. Was she happy, my dear? Please tell me that at least she was happy.”
Caro looked at her hand in his for a long while.
“You must know my father committed suicide. I cannot understand all you are telling me, sir. I really can make no comment. I will leave immediately. Of course you do not want your son to marry a woman who the ton holds in disgrace. I had already realized I could not do that to him.”
She turned and started away when Sebastian laid his hand on her arm and stopped her.
“Caro, I do not care about anything or anyone but you.”
“Then you are a fool, my lord.”
Her head high and her shoulders stiff, she left the room.
Two astonished men watched her go.
Sebastian turned to his father. “I will have her, sir.”
The marquess nodded. “I understand, Sebastian.” His voice was deep and quiet and Sebastian stared at him in wonder.
No protesting, no storming, no attempt to stop him? Sebastian didn’t have time to ponder his father’s astounding turnaround. He must find Caro.
She’d looked far too resolute for his peace of mind.
* * * * *
Sebastian found his love in the garden on a bench near the door. Her hands were tightly gripped, even though they were shaking. Her head was down and sunlight glinted on her shining hair. She wore one of her newly acquired dresses, a sea green that clung to her curvaceous breasts.
Her skirts flowed around her, making her look like a painting by a master. A jersey shawl of aquamarine was thrown over her shoulders. She looked lovelier than any mermaid he could imagine in his dreams.
He went down on his haunches so he could take her shoulders in his hands and look into her face.
“My love, I don’t want you to worry about a thing. I never made any promises to Lady Cecilia. In fact, I barely know her. I don’t think she’s in favor of a match with me at all. I understand she has a suitor she favors. It’s been our fathers’ dream, not mine or hers.”
Caro shook her head. “That’s not what bothers me, Sebastian. Seeing and hearing your father made me realize that of course we can’t marry. My lowly status aside, the disgrace of my father’s suicide will never be forgotten. I’ve not let myself think of this for far too long. I shut it out of my mind as too painful to deal with. But I’ll not let you lower yourself by marrying me.”
Sebastian rose to his feet, his strong hands pulling her up with him. He attempted to embrace her but she held herself stiffly and then moved away.
“I’ll never be considered fit to be your wife, Sebastian. I honor you for even thinking I might be. I have no place to go until after Christmas but I’ll stay out of your way as much as possible. I’ll not embarrass you further.”
Sebastian grabbed her hands again.
“My love, and you are my only love, stop talking such nonsense. After we are married the gossip will die down. My father will see to that. The way he looked at you tells me he’s changed his mind. I think he’d be glad to have you in the family.”
She looked at him sadly.
“Will he? Right now he is overcome with his remembrances. He will soon remember not my mother but my father, and how unsuitable I am for you. I can do nothing until after Christmas when I’ll return to the school. But I’ll not let you ruin your life.”
Sebastian held her face steady while shaking his head.
“You’ll ruin my life only if you leave me.”
Caro said nothing more. As she turned to leave he saw the tears brimming in her beautiful eyes. One fell on her cheek and he reached out to grab her.
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