Macy’s phone rang. “Excuse me.”
“Jody said you and Macy went to school together,” Cosette said to him.
“Macy and Caley are the same age. I was in the navy when she was in eighth grade.”
“Mr. Wilder and my mama were sweethearts. Aunt Macy said so. But they didn’t get married.” Renny shoved half a cookie in her mouth. “When I grow up, I’m gonna marry Mr. Wilder.”
Wilder nearly spewed coffee across the table.
“Well, I think that’s sweet,” Cosette said and winked at Renny. If she liked being married to a big bossy-pants. Who played the piano like a dream and smelled like fresh showers and spearmint, and would drive her to the brink of insanity in every way imaginable.
Wilder cleared his throat. “Allie and I were in the same class. She was a photojournalist. Freelance.”
Had he loved her? Is that why he didn’t date? He’d never gotten over his one true love?
Hairs on Cosette’s neck prickled.
She glanced around the coffee shop.
Wilder scanned the room, obviously picking up on her fear and anxiety.
Macy returned with a sour face. “I have an issue. Mama’s appointment with the cardiologist got moved up to today. Her friend who was supposed to take her isn’t available and I’m in town so...”
Wilder glanced at Renny. “Leave her with me. I’m going to be around.”
“You sure?”
He nodded.
Macy clasped her hands and pecked Wilder’s cheek. “Renny, be good for Mr. Wilder.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
She rushed from the coffee shop.
Wilder grabbed his keys. “Let’s go back to the house and I’ll show you the stable, and maybe we’ll hit the park.”
“Yay!” Renny jumped up and did a victory dance. Cosette couldn’t help but laugh. The sweet little thing was too much. They threw their cups away and Renny reached for their hands. “Can we get ice cream, too? Miss Cosette, will you come?”
“I love ice cream,” Cosette said. Should she be anywhere near a child if Jeffrey was watching? Had he gone off the rails so much he’d hurt someone innocent? Doubtful. Would he hurt Wilder? Absolutely. “But I have some things to do.”
“Oh please. With sugar on top. Pretty please.”
Between her and Wilder, Renny ought to be safe. “Okay, I’ll come.”
Wilder grinned.
But as they walked toward the SUV, the reminder that Jeffrey was out there and coming for her squashed the good feelings.
She couldn’t pretend she wasn’t in danger.
SIX
The last few hours had been confusing. Watching Wilder with Renny was truly something special and it messed with Cosette’s emotions. Every crack and creak in the stable had sent Cosette reeling. The painters had showed Renny how they used the paint gun. Cosette and Wilder had talked a little shop about the renovations to the stable, but she was too distracted with the fact that “soon” could be tonight. In an hour. Or two weeks from now.
Wilder’s phone rang and he slipped away to take the call.
“Miss Cosette, I wanna go to the park.”
“When Mr. Wilder gets back, we can discuss it.”
As if on cue, Wilder rounded the stable a scowl on his face. “I have to handle a small situation at the manufacturing company where Evan is point. Can you and Renny hang out inside awhile? Jody’s in there and Wheezer probably has some video games.”
“You said we could go to the park.” Renny pouted and folded her arms over her chest. “Miss Cosette can take me, can’t you?” She looked to Cosette for salvation.
Wilder’s sappy expression toward Renny softened the wall Cosette had built around her heart. He clearly didn’t want to let that sweet child down. But they both knew Cosette didn’t need to be off at a park alone and certainly not with a child. Jeffrey might try to abduct her or maybe even both of them. It was too risky. “Well...” Wilder looked toward the house. “Miss Jody and Miss Cosette could take you together.” He and Cosette shared a conversation with their eyes. He’d give Renny what she wanted and Cosette would be safe.
Yes, she’d be okay with Jody along.
An hour and a half later, Renny was swinging in the sunshine without a care in the world. Cosette couldn’t say the same for herself.
“Who do you keep calling?” Jody asked.
“Kariss Elroy. My patient who gave me the blueberry muffins. But she isn’t answering.” Kariss sometimes got depressed and ignored her friends, but she’d always picked up when Cosette called. A tremor of panic started, but she pushed it down. Kariss might be napping, or may have left her phone in another room while she took a bath...in the middle of the day. It was possible.
Jody clapped as Renny did a cartwheel, but her eyes were constantly scanning their surroundings.
“You want to stop off at her house after we take Renny back to CCM? It’s about time to go. Wilder said Macy called and she’d be back around four.”
“I don’t usually make house calls, but this isn’t a usual situation. Yes, let’s stop by.” Cosette applauded Renny’s continued acrobatics, then called, “It’s time to head back. Your aunt Macy will be picking you up soon.”
The little girl darted over. “I had fun.”
“Good.” Cosette had tried. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the luxury Renny had.
Slipping her hand in Cosette’s, Renny hummed and swung their arms together as they walked across the lot to the SUV, where they’d parked near the tree line for shade.
“When I grow up, I want to be a gymnast. Or maybe take pictures like my mom did. She was really good.”
“I think both ideas are great,” Cosette said, as a light blue car pulled around the corner. She guided Renny to the other side of her. It was going a bit fast for parking at a playground.
Jody paused and that raised hairs on Cosette’s neck. “Cosette...”
The car sped up and came straight for her. But she had Renny’s hand.
Fear shot through her veins and pounded in her ears.
The car was now almost five feet away and full-on panic set in.
“Cosette!” Jody screamed and rushed toward them, while Cosette dived with Renny into the grass beyond the curb as the car raced by.
Jody!
She turned and saw her lying on the pavement. “Jody!” she hollered. Renny was curled up in the grass, holding her knee and crying.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. It’s okay.” But it wasn’t. Cosette never should have come to the park. Jody should have brought Renny alone, no matter how much the little girl protested. Cosette never dreamed Jeffrey would try to kill an innocent child in order to get to her. How far off his rocker had he gone?
Jody grunted and jumped up, a scowl on her face as she rubbed her hip. “Everyone okay?” she asked as she hobbled toward them.
Cosette frantically nodded, her pulse still rocketing.
“Was it Levitts?”
Cosette rocked Renny on her lap in the grass and smoothed the child’s hair. “I didn’t get a look at the driver. But who else could it be?” Wilder was going to be livid. Renny got hurt because of Cosette and Wilder was crazy about the girl. “Are you hurt?”
“Clipped my hip. I’ll live. I got a partial license plate number.” Jody grabbed her cell phone and punched a button. “Hey, babe, I need you to run a partial plate for me.” She rattled off the number to Evan, paused, then proceeded to explain what had happened. “I’m fine...I promise...We’re all fine...Love you, too.”
Renny sniffed through tears. “I want Mr. Wilder!”
So did Cosette.
Cosette stayed in the back seat with Renny on the ride back to CCM. As they approached the porch, the door opened. Wilder bounded down the steps, his hair blowing in the wind. “Tell me you’re okay. Both
of you.” He glanced down at Renny and she went to crying again.
“Somebody tried to run us over, Mr. Wilder!”
He scooped her up into his arms. “Well, Miss Cosette and Miss Jody were there to protect you.”
Cosette might have kept her from being run over, but Renny was hurt and traumatized. On her account.
“I skinned my knee and it stings.” She laid her head on his shoulder and hiccupped through tears.
His tone gentled as he rubbed her back. “It’s okay, kiddo, don’t you worry. We’ll fix it up, and Miss Amy left cookies in the kitchen. Would you like a cookie for being such a brave girl?”
Cosette’s tummy dipped. Did Wilder realize he’d make a fantastic father? The kind that could chase away monsters from under the bed and make a girl feel like a princess. Cosette had no idea what it was like to feel protected and safe by a dad. Hers had only inflicted fear and anger.
“I would. I think I need two cookies. I was double brave.”
He chuckled and kissed her forehead, then caught Cosette’s eye and held it. “What about you, darlin’? You need a cookie, too?”
“Well, I do. Thanks for asking,” Jody said and rolled her eyes. “Where’s Evan?”
“Right here,” her husband said and swung around the corner, heading straight for her.
“I need a cookie,” she repeated.
Evan raised his eyebrows. “What about something else?”
Jody grinned as he swept her into a hug and laid a kiss on her. Wilder covered Renny’s eyes. “This is a place of business,” he teased.
“We’re totally getting down to business,” Jody retorted and winked. “The business of kissing boo-boos.” She patted Evan’s cheek and motioned with her head toward Wilder and Cosette. “Renny, how about I clean up your knee and then you can get that cookie.”
“I know firsthand that Miss Jody is a great wound fixer-upper,” Evan offered.
Renny nodded and smooshed Wilder’s cheeks together, looking firmly into his eyes. “Two. Cookies.”
He nodded once. “I promise.” He handed her off to Jody, who disappeared with her and Evan.
Wilder took Cosette’s hand, rubbed the back of it with his thumb. “Now that little ears are gone, how are you really?”
She was tempted to lie. To say she was okay, they were safe, all would be well. But she didn’t have it in her. Not in this moment when someone had nearly taken her life—taken Renny’s! Unable to control her trembling lips, she simply shook her head. If words flowed, tears would, too.
“Ah, darlin’,” Wilder breathed and drew her to his chest, wrapping his arms around her and chasing away the cold—the fear. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”
She clutched the back of his shirt and hung on to gain the strength she needed.
He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength.
The scripture swung into her lungs like a blast of much needed air, sharp yet tender. Entirely beaten down and exhausted, Cosette wasn’t yet able to catch her breath, to renew any strength. She’d been putting on a brave front. Looking to Wilder to keep her standing firm.
But she couldn’t look to him as her ultimate source.
If she asked God for strength and surrendered to letting Him in, would she also be given strength to forgive Dad?
I can do all things through Christ Who strengthens me.
She would. God would give her everything she needed—she just didn’t want it. She didn’t want the strength to forgive Dad because she had no desire to forgive him. Even now, knowing it was the right thing to do. An act of rebellion. Hardheadedness. Whatever term it could be called. Guilt swam in the icy pit of her stomach. And even still...she couldn’t bring herself to surrender. To forgive. To let go. To give all of herself to God. She wanted to surrender to no one.
“Come on,” Wilder whispered. “I’ll make you some tea and you can have two cookies, too. And don’t say you don’t need them.”
The urge to lean into him for support battled with her will to stand alone. “I can determine what I need and don’t need,” she said softly. Wilder had given her grace and she appreciated that. Renny had been caught in the crosshairs today. But Cosette couldn’t let Wilder decide what was best for her. He might be tender at times and even sweet. But she wouldn’t cave over kind gestures and comforting touches.
“All right.” That’s all he said as he led her to the kitchen. “Tea?”
She nodded and he busied himself putting on a kettle. What kind of man, besides an Englishman, would make a woman tea? One she wasn’t going to fall for, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t still curious about a few things in his life. “Wilder?”
“Hmm?”
“How close were you with Allie Moore? You routinely visit her daughter and clearly have a special relationship with her family. Is Renny...?” The thought had been on her mind and she hadn’t had the moxie to ask.
“Is Renny mine?” Wilder asked softly and leaned against the counter.
“A dad hasn’t been mentioned. By anyone.” Not even Renny.
“You think if I had a child with someone, I’d let him or her be raised by an aunt?”
It sounded horrible. “You were on tours. Who else would have raised her?”
His nostrils flared and he opened the cabinet, retrieved a mug and tossed a tea bag in it. “Is that what you really think of me?”
Throwing her own words back in her face.
“Observing facts,” she murmured. In dire situations, not everyone made the right or best choice. Cosette wasn’t immune. No one was. Not unbelievers. Not believers.
“Renny isn’t mine, Cosette. Allie and I didn’t have that kind of relationship. She married a lawyer. He was in a car accident and died right before Renny was born.”
The kettle whistled and Wilder poured the steaming water into the cup, the chamomile fragrance wafting through the modern farmer’s kitchen.
“What kind of relationship did you have?”
Please open up, Wilder.
He huffed, raked his hand through his hair. The telltale sign he was frustrated. “The kind that might have gone somewhere serious if our career choices hadn’t separated us, but who knows?”
Wilder might have been married when Cosette had first met him. She couldn’t imagine it. Not with Allie...not with any other woman. These thoughts had to stop. “You were in love with her?”
He removed the tea bag, added two heaping spoonfuls of sugar and gave Cosette the cup, their fingers brushing. “I wouldn’t say we were in love, but we cared about each other.” He shrugged. “We were kids. Then we chose careers over each other, so that says a lot, don’t you think?”
“Why do you make it a point to spend time with Renny?” At first, Cosette had assumed Wilder was interested in Macy, and Renny was a side benefit. Now, after seeing him with the child, Cosette knew she was his priority, and not because he was her father.
Pawing his face, Wilder sighed and pushed himself off the counter. “When I was seventeen, me and my buddy Alan used to do some joyriding. On a Friday night in December, he wanted to go out on the ice—rarely any of that here, but that year we had a terrible ice storm. I told him I’d go, but I got hung up...in a ditch. So Alan came to pick me up. He was killed in a car accident on the way.”
“I’m sorry.”
Wilder let out a slow breath. “He had this ridiculous set of dice hanging from his rearview mirror. I gave him nine kinds of you-know-what about it. But after he died, I took them and hung them from my rearview mirror.”
Cosette hunted for the story within a story. Wilder was famous for dancing outside of straight talk. “Where are they now?”
“In the glove box of my personal truck.”
“Mr. Wilder! I’m all better and I want my cookies.” Renny raced into the kitchen, breaking into the m
oment. Maybe Wilder had been on the cusp of revealing more. This was a step. Cosette just had to decipher the puzzle.
* * *
Wilder sat on his leather couch, feet up on the ottoman as he mindlessly surfed TV channels. Macy had taken what happened to Renny better than expected. He had her complete trust. But then, she didn’t know the full story behind Allie’s death. No one did. Just him. And he was taking that to the grave. Too many people relied on his protection, and if they knew what he let happen, they’d never look to him as a competent leader again.
But he’d come dangerously close to revealing the truth in its entirety to Cosette earlier in the kitchen. She’d jumped to conclusions that Renny belonged to him; he couldn’t be mad for the assumption. His attachment to Renny was stronger than his attachment to the fluffy dice he couldn’t let go. That would mean letting go of Alan, and it was his fault his friend was dead. Renny was his way of hanging on to Allie. Taking care of her was the next best thing he could do to make up for his mistakes in Istanbul—for not coming through for Allie. Money each month wouldn’t bring her back, but it did assuage some of Wilder’s guilt.
That tragic night had replayed in his head thousands of times, and each time he’d done something different to save her. She hadn’t died in his arms. Meghan’s death had replayed, too. Was having Beckett work for him part of his way of hanging on to Meghan? Wilder sipped his sweet tea and pondered that. No. Beckett wasn’t his dice in the glove box or his human connection.
CCM was his connection to Meghan. He called it a memorial, and while that was true, it was so much more than that. Cosette might call it unhealthy. Obsessive. Like keeping these people as possessions that he couldn’t part with. But how did one let go of a loved one? Was it any different than Cosette visiting her mother’s grave with flowers every single Mother’s Day? Like trying to relive one last day with her?
He couldn’t give up these connections. Couldn’t move forward. He was stuck in regret. Stuck replaying the tragedies with better outcomes, where everyone lived. Everyone was happy. No one was scarred.
What he wouldn’t give right now to have someone to lean on. To confide in. But there was no one. He was the top of the tier. The leader. The strength of his team. His family.
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