"It's a girl," Laura puts in.
"Actually," I say, smiling, "I won't know until it's born. But Laura here insists I'll be having Jenna and Galen thinks it'll be George. One of them's probably right."
"Or both, if you have twins."
I make a cross with my fingers. "Arabella, don't you even joke about that. My ultrasound says it's just one, and that's the way I want it. Anyhow, we should probably head out for dinner. Georjenna and I are starving."
Arabella nods and says to Laura, "Do you want to come with us?"
She smiles, but shakes her head. "That's sweet but I've got things to do." She turns the smile on me. "I think I need to buy some baby stuff tonight. To catch up to you. Right?"
I smile back, liking that she's touching on our disagreement and making it a shared joke instead of refusing to talk about it like I would do. I've got no idea how to let things go without leaving them behind forever. Probably a good skill to learn. I'll add it to the plan. "Wouldn't that make you a crazy thing?"
"Wouldn't be the first time." She pushes up to her feet. "Okay. Nice meeting you two, and I'll see you on Saturday for lunch, Corinne. I hope your air conditioning cooperates by then for your sake."
"Me too," I say, trying to hide that I wish she hadn't said that. "Bye."
As she heads off, Galen says, as I knew he would, "Your AC doesn't work?"
"Nope. It's just sitting there dead in the window. But it's okay, I'll be fine." I gesture around at the coffee shop. "My office is air-conditioned and then I can come hang out here if it's too hot at home. No problem."
Galen narrows his eyes, but Arabella says, "Okay, good. Now, tell me: were you really surprised to see me with Galen?"
I laugh. "Of course. Didn't I look surprised?"
"Not as surprised as Melissa did. We had lunch with her today." She giggles. "She is huge. How far ahead of you is she?"
"Four weeks," I say, remembering. "So she must be twenty-nine weeks or thereabouts now."
"Well, she looks it. But she's super-happy, which is great, and Nicholas is so cute taking care of her. I'm going to have dinner with her on Friday, just us."
I can feel what's coming next, and I try to control my cringe as she adds, "Hey, why don't you come with us? It'd be fun."
Seeing Bunny hurt. How many millions of times worse would it be to see Melissa? In my mind she's completely tied to Austin, and he doesn't want to see me so I can't see her. "Aw, thanks," I say, trying to sound sincere since I do appreciate the sentiment behind the invitation if not the invitation itself, "but I have to work late." I do, actually, because Travis and Tyler are installing a new filing system and need me there so I know how everything works. A convenient excuse.
She shrugs. "Maybe another time. Anyhow, shall we go eat?" She cuddles into Galen. "Where are you going to take your two lovely ladies? Three, if the baby's a girl."
He spreads his hands open. "Wherever they want to go."
I want to go back in time and somehow make things work out with Austin so I can have both him and Melissa in my life, but I'm pretty sure that's beyond even my big brother's powers.
*****
After dinner, I sit at home in my still-too-hot apartment and stare at my phone. I have to call Clay. It's not fair for him to find out about the baby from Bunny, if she hasn't told him already. I owe him more than that. I hadn't planned to tell him at all, but that now seems like a stupid decision. He deserves to know.
But what if hearing his voice makes me regret breaking up with him? I can't go back to him, not now. Not with Georjenna. He never wanted kids. And I don't want any part of his music-filled life.
I sigh and pick up the phone.
"Corinne," Clay says, sounding shocked. "Can't believe you called. What's up?"
Bunny must not have told him. He's not this good an actor. "Um, there's no easy way to say this, Clay. I'm having a baby in September."
The pause is long enough that I'd think we'd been disconnected if I couldn't hear him breathing. Finally he says, "Oh. Okay. So... what do we do now?"
I blink. "We?"
"Well, yeah. You can't think I'd abandon you. I know we broke up but..."
"Clay, it's not yours," I say, wondering how he could think it was when we broke up in September. "I only got pregnant in December. At a clinic."
"Oh." There's relief in his voice, and embarrassment too. "Sorry. Duh. I'm no good with that calendar stuff, you know that."
"Yeah," I say, then we fall silent again.
I start to end the call but he speaks at the same time. "Sorry, Clay, pardon?"
He clears his throat. "Just... do you need money? You did so much for Llama Spit, taking tickets at shows and all that, so I owe you and honestly I'm happy to—"
"I don't," I say, as firmly as I can without being rude. It is sweet of him to offer but I don't want it. "I don't need help."
"Yeah," he says, sounding sad and tired. "You never did. My... well, I guess I've learned sometimes it's nice to feel like your girlfriend needs you a bit."
He's got a new girlfriend, I can tell. And it doesn't bother me. That's how I know I don't love him any more. I'm not even positive I ever truly did. We were comfortable together, and good in bed, and as a musician he understood how hard I worked at my clarinet even though he and his bandmates played with abandon instead of my classical precision, but now I'm not sure that was really love. Is love ever really comfortable? I wasn't in love with Austin, but the emotions I felt for him... I never felt those for Clay.
If I heard that Austin had a girlfriend...
When I don't speak, imagining how awful that would feel, Clay says, "Look, are you sure? I'm happy to give you something for the baby." Before I can answer, he says, "The baby. You're having a baby. I can't get my head around that."
I have to smile. "Me either, half the time."
"I'm glad you're finally getting what you always wanted, Corinne."
I blink. "I said I didn't want kids. We both did."
I hear the smile in his voice when he says, "Yeah, we did. But I saw you with Bunny and Orson's kid for the clarinet lessons and I knew you didn't mean it. I knew you'd want your own some day."
This, somehow, makes me feel better about the speed with which I went to the fertility clinic. I didn't think I'd made my decision on a whim, but knowing the guy who knew me best had thought I did want kids proves I didn't do that. I would hate for Georjenna to be the equivalent of a fling. "I did like their Chelsea," I say, remembering how determined she'd been to master the clarinet. Bunny and Orson's on-again-off-again relationship hadn't seemed to faze the kid, so with any luck my single status won't hurt Georjenna. "Who's she taking lessons with now?"
"Some kid from the Royal Conservatory in Toronto. Don't know his name."
"Oh."
Another silence falls, and this time I break it alone. "Well, I should let you go."
Clay sighs. "Yeah. I guess so. Take care, okay?"
"I will. You too."
I hang up, knowing I'll never talk to him again but surprisingly happy I broke free of my plan and talked to him this time. I feel like now I've put our relationship to rest instead of running away from it, and that feels good.
Chapter Sixteen
Saturday afternoon, I'm camped out at the coffee shop because the heat in my apartment would make Satan sweat. I've got my bank's app open on my phone and my baby-planning notebook open on my table so I can figure out whether I can afford the money to replace the air conditioner. I got almost no sleep last night because of the heat and I don't think I can take it much longer.
But I'm not exactly rolling in cash. I'm doing okay, but only just. I certainly don't have a spare three hundred bucks lying around. I'm sure Mom would lend it to me if I asked, but I won't. I hate the idea of that almost as much as I hate that my plans didn't protect me from this. I thought I'd planned perfectly, but a simple broken air conditioner has thrown everything off and that feels terrible.
But so does the heat, and
as I reluctantly admit to myself that I won't be able to scrape together an 'extra' three hundred dollars until October, at which point I wouldn't need the air conditioner again until next summer, my phone rings and the call display shows "Sears delivery".
I haven't ordered anything, but I answer anyhow because if someone's accidentally given the department store my number they'll keep calling until I do.
"Yeah," the guy says, "I'll be there in about an hour with your new window AC unit. That okay?"
"I..." It's a dream come true, but it doesn't make sense. "Are you sure it's for me?"
"You Corinne Kostopoulos?"
"I am, but I didn't buy one."
"Someone did," he says in a matter-of-fact tone. "It's all paid up, installation too. Is an hour from now okay?"
"Yes," I say, realizing I hadn't even considered the cost of installation in my planning, "but—"
"See you then," he says, and hangs up before I can finish asking who bought it for me.
I sip my iced tea and wonder. I can see a few options. I deliberately didn't tell Mom about the heat in my apartment because I didn't want her feeling compelled to fix it for me, but Galen might have told her since Laura announced it in front of him. My brother might also have bought the air conditioner himself. I didn't mean to tell Travis but when he apologized for making me work late last night I said at least it was nice and cool in the office and then I had to tell him why it wasn't cool at home, and I know he was worried about me and the baby. If Bunny passed along the story to Clay then he might have been the one, and if Arabella told Melissa she might have done it as part of her 'taking care of my reader' plan. Not likely, but possible.
Or... it could have been Austin.
I like that idea the best but I also know it's the least likely. That would mean that Arabella did tell Melissa and then Melissa told Austin, which she'd only have done if she thought he'd care whether I have a working air conditioner. And since I have had a working phone this whole time and he hasn't called me, I doubt that he does care. I hate it, but he's almost certainly moved on and doesn't care about me any more.
But someone does, and though I don't like that my plan doesn't allow for this sort of emergency it's sweet that someone has made this happen for me.
When the delivery guy arrives at my place, nearly an hour later than promised, I try to get him to spill the name of the purchaser but he says only, "Invoice just says it was paid for. All of them were."
I blink. "All?"
"I guess the guy didn't know what size."
"Guy?" Austin?
He shrugs. "Or girl. Look, I have no clue. Invoice doesn't say. I just know I have a truck full of air conditioners and you're supposed to get the one that fits. Then the others go back to the warehouse and the buyer gets a refund." He studies the dead air conditioner in the window. "Biggest size. Heaviest. Figures. In the same window, I guess?"
I nod, and he and his silent partner fetch the new unit from their truck then haul out the old one and set up the replacement. As they work, he says to me, "Didn't cover it in winter, eh? I can tell."
"I didn't have it then. Only bought it a few months back. Used."
He grunts. "Then whoever had it didn't. When you stop using it in the fall buy it a cover. Needs protection from the snow. That'll be why it died."
"Got it. Thanks."
He grunts again, and his partner steps back while he presses a few buttons. The whoosh as the new air conditioner starts up is the sweetest sound I've ever heard.
When the two of them have left, I sit in my gradually cooling apartment and post a Facebook status of, "Some kind anonymous soul just bought me a new air conditioner. I don't know who you are, but I know you're the best. The baby and I say thank you!" Only Mom and Galen and Travis, of the possible suspects, will see this, but since almost certainly one of them did it that's okay.
Over the course of the next few hours the status gains ten likes and eight comments about how lucky I am to know someone so nice, including from Mom and Galen and Travis, but I still don't know who did it.
But I do still think he or she is the best.
Chapter Seventeen
I spend the rest of July and most of August enjoying my air conditioner and thinking happy thoughts about its purchaser and preparing myself for Georjenna's arrival, roaming sales and thrift shops with Laura to get all of her needs and the last few of mine.
Laura comments a few times about how nice it is for us to get ready together since we're both on our own, but her Grant will be back in a few months so I don't feel like she really is on her own. I am, but she can count the days until her husband comes back to her. Hardly the same thing.
But at least I can buy what I want. She keeps worrying about whether Grant will like the bedding she bought or approve of her choice of car seat. Though I do have occasional flashes of terror in the middle of the night about how I'll handle a baby alone, at least I get to have everything my own way. The way I planned it.
The preparation culminates with my baby shower in the last week of August. I didn't plan to have one, since they've always felt like a pure gift grab to me, combined with a hint of 'I can't afford this baby myself so I need you to buy stuff for me' that I don't like. But Mom said that my aunt was longing to get things for the baby, and then she suggested that she have our relatives, both male and female, over as a combined shower for me and sixty-fifth birthday party for her. We don't see those relatives as often as I know she'd like to, so I said yes, and today is the day.
Aunt Phaedra offers me another slice of watermelon, and as I accept Arabella comes over to sit next to me. "I've got a surprise for you. And everyone but especially for you."
I smile at my aunt, who heads off with the watermelon platter, and say, "What is it?"
Arabella giggles. "Not a surprise, if I tell you. Ooh, but I do have something else to tell you. Have you heard about Melissa?"
I shake my head, and take a bite of watermelon so I can avoid pointing out that I haven't had any contact with Melissa. I think Arabella knows that, but bringing it up feels awkward.
"She had her baby earlier this week. A boy."
"A boy?" I say, remembering how sure Melissa had been she was having a daughter.
Arabella laughs. "I know, right? But she's fine with it. She told me. Totally fine."
I doubt that, remembering how much she wanted a girl, and I'm glad I didn't plan for one or the other.
"Nicholas is thrilled too," Arabella continues. "Melissa says he can hardly let Nolan go long enough for her to feed him."
How would Austin have been with Georjenna? The thought of him cuddling my baby makes me want to smile and cry at the same time. "That's great," I say, pushing aside my emotions. "Sounds like everything's perfect."
"Yup. I'm going to see her tomorrow afternoon. Want to come?"
"I've got plans," I say, and hope she won't ask me what they are.
She doesn't, but she does say, "Have you got her number? Give her a call."
"You say congrats to her for me, okay? I don't want to bug her."
"It wouldn't be bugging," she says with a frown, but she's fortunately distracted right then by Galen calling, "Arabella, it's all set up."
She grins and gives my shoulder a squeeze. "Here comes the surprise!" She joins Galen near the TV then says to the group, "Okay, everyone knows Galen and Corinne and I were on a Caribbean cruise back in March, right?"
A general murmur of agreement goes through the room.
"Cool. Anyhow, I misplaced my camera's main memory card while we were there, and I've been searching everywhere. I found it last night in the lining of my suitcase, so now we can take a look at my pictures before Helena and Corinne open their presents."
The murmur this time is more of dread.
Arabella laughs. "I pared it down to only twenty or thirty, don't worry. It won't take long."
She's right, she doesn't have too many photos.
But so many of them include Austin.
She's captured him perfectly, and seeing his gorgeous face and sparkling spirit again makes my heart hurt more with every picture.
I'd thought we had started to have something real, started to truly be together, and Arabella's images prove that I was right. Austin's eyes are different when he's looking at me, warmer and more serious, and he's often got his arm around my shoulder or my hand in his.
When she pulls up the pictures from the snorkeling trip we all took together and I'm staring at myself locked in that amazing sweet kiss with Austin while my family around me laughs and cheers, I remember the tenderness and gentleness of how he held me and how perfect it felt. Then she shows the picture she took right after, while we're gazing at each other and he's smiling at me with what could almost be love in his eyes, and I can't help myself. I burst into tears.
Horrified that I'm crying in front of everyone, I try to stop, but though I'm not looking at the picture any more I can still see it and I know exactly what I've lost and the pain is unbelievable.
"I'm sorry," I mutter through my sobs. "Ignore me."
They don't, of course. Everyone gasps, and Mom hurries over and hugs me tight, whispering, "Don't worry, honey, it's okay."
It isn't, and the comfort of her embrace just makes me cry harder, but I cling to her anyhow. I don't feel so alone when she's hugging me.
"Galen, grab me some tissues," Mom says over my head.
"God, Arabella," Galen snaps, and I hear him storming out of the room.
"I'm so sorry." Arabella sounds near tears herself. "I really thought she'd like them!"
"Hormones," Aunt Phaedra says knowledgeably. "It's not about the pictures at all."
Not true, auntie. Not true at all.
Galen rushes in and gives Mom a wad of tissues, which she in turn hands to me as she says, "Want to go in the other room for a second?"
I nod, hugely embarrassed at my lack of control.
"We'll be right back," she says, with all the calmness and stability I can't seem to find. "Talk amongst yourselves."
Plan Overboard (Toronto Series #14) Page 13